Arlene Becker Neher

1939 - 2023

ARLENE BECKER NEHER
Born: March 15, 1939
Died: December 16, 2023
Arlene Becker Neher died on December 16, 2023, from Parkinson's disease and heart issues at Oak Crest Retirement Home in DeKalb, IL.
Arlene was married to Clark Neher for 62 years and was the mother of Erick Neher (Edward Yim) of New York City, Greg Neher (Melissa) of Mercer Island, Washington, and Carol Neher of Westlake Village, California. She was the grandmother of Callum, Sebastian, and Rowan Neher, and Sienna and Becker Sheehy. She is also survived by her sisters-in-law Nancy Carlson and Sherry Becker, and her nieces Jill and Catherine and nephew Craig.
She was predeceased by her parents, Floyd and Dolly Becker, her brother Bob Becker, niece Hillary Becker, and brother-in-law Bruce Carlson.
Arlene was born in 1939 in San Rafael, California. She grew up in Palo Alto, California where her mother was a housewife and her father was part of the team that built the first x-ray machine for cancer diagnosis and treatment. She attended Stanford University on scholarship and majored in History. While still a senior at Palo Alto High School, she met Clark Neher, then a freshman at Stanford, on a blind date. After an on-again, off-again, on-again relationship, she and Clark were married in 1962. Shortly thereafter, they joined the Peace Corps in Thailand where Arlene taught English as a second language at Prasanmit College in Bangkok and where their son Erick was born. After teaching high school in the Los Angeles public school system, Arlene came to DeKalb in 1969 where she eventually earned a Ph.D. in History at Northern Illinois University (NIU), specializing in diplomatic relations between the U.S. and Thailand.
Arlene became Director of External Programs for the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences at NIU, developing numerous programs with the Center for Southeast Asian Studies, the Department of Computer Sciences, and the Illinois Department of Corrections. These programs brought transformative educational opportunities to thousands of people. She was also a founder of the Lifelong Learning Institute, NIU's program for senior citizens. Arlene was an active member of Westminster Presbyterian Church where she served as an Elder and a Stephen Minister. She consistently supported Westminster's involvement with social justice issues and programs such as neighborhood tutoring and food ministries.
Arlene's life had a decided international flavor. She spent most of her sophomore year at the first Stanford in Germany program where she stayed with a family in Beutelsbach and swapped apple pie and apple strudel recipes. Thailand became a second home for her and her family, particularly the northern city of Chiang Mai where they spent several years and where she taught at a missionary school. She was in her element at outdoor markets, haggling with vendors in fluent, slangy Thai, much to their surprise. Eventually, Arlene and Clark traveled to more than 100 countries, often accompanying tour groups as the resident experts and lecturers on local history and customs. She was a gifted photographer and collected recipes from around the world. She loved to garden, and was known as a great cook of Thai food, as well as other cuisines, and loved making meals for family and friends.
Arlene was a master at balancing her professional responsibilities and her personal life. She left a major legacy in her work but felt equally happy while raising her three children. Alongside her husband, Arlene was a vibrant, contributing member of the world around her, standing up for important local, national, and international causes. As a woman in her field, she was a pioneer, and she helped open DeKalb's first women's bookstore and social services center in the 1970s. She volunteered, campaigned, and advocated for people in need in dozens of ways, from welcoming refugees into her home after the Vietnam War, to championing her denomination's efforts towards inclusiveness in the present day. She gave her children the gift of international travel at an early age, opening the world to them, while also providing a stable family home, filled with traditions and love. She combined keen intelligence and immense empathy, serving as a role model and cherished friend to many people in DeKalb and around the world.
A service to celebrate Arlene's life will be held at Westminster Presbyterian Church, 830 North Annie Glidden Road, DeKalb, on January 20, 2024 at 11am.
In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to the Food Ministry at Westminster Presbyterian Church: www.westminsterdekalb.org
For information, visit www.AndersonFuneralHomeLtd.com or call 815-756-1022.