Kathleen Madley DUNHAM

1944 - 2016

DUNHAM, Kathleen Madley January 16, 1944 - November 5, 2016 Kathleen Dunham, a longtime resident of Sebastopol, died at home peacefully on November 5, 2016, after a valiant fight with cancer. She is survived by her beloved husband Bruce Dunham; by her son Jason Dunham and his wife Catherine and their daughters Mikayla and Alexis; by her son Jeremy Madley and Sara Greenfield and their daughter Anya; by her goddaughter Meisha Vella and her husband Luis Cruz Rodriguez; by her sister Susan Madley and her husband Jesse Philips; by her sisters Mary Lynn Madley, Christine Madley, and Carol Madley, and by her many nieces and nephews and dear friends. She passed away in autumn, her favorite season. With her cloud of red hair and warm personality she had an autumnal way about her, showing the wisdom of a mature person even when she was young. Her life had come full circle with the satisfaction she felt in welcoming her three granddaughters into the world. Kathleen was born in 1944, the first of Sam and Lois Madley's five daughters. She was a true baby boomer child; her parents had rushed to marry after her father enlisted in the navy, and she was born in Utah while he was in officer training. She grew up in Southern California, graduating from Fullerton Union High School. As a teenager she loved the beach, taking up surfing at a time when the sport was dominated by boys. Throughout her life she was an avid student. She took a special interest in learning Spanish in high school that continued through her life, facilitating her work as a bilingual teacher and counselor. Kathleen met her husband Bruce in Long Beach, and they later moved to Northern California where she was to earn her M.F.C.C. degree from Sonoma State University. The family settled in Sebastopol where Bruce designed and built their craftsman-style home, with office space for Kathleen to maintain her practice in Marriage, Family and Child Therapy for over three decades. Kathleen and Bruce enjoyed a special bond, with a love at first sight relationship that carried them through the years with unbroken devotion and mutual support. Those who were fortunate to know her will always remember her hearty laughter. She and Bruce seemed to have a private lexicon of humor and one would often see them catch each other's eyes to elicit laughter. They shared a passionate interest in professional ice skating, even traveling to Canada to see the Olympics. Throughout her life Kathleen worked as a Marriage, Family and Child Counselor. Beginning her career as a bilingual grade school teacher she moved on to do social work with troubled children, later working as a school counselor, parent educator, and private therapist. With her unusual capacity for tuning in and empathy for others, she was a gifted listener. She seemed to simultaneously sense the seriousness and the humor in life, and anyone who spoke with her knew they were being genuinely heard. She shone a veritable light on children, opening her heart to take in their problems and always taking the time to make them feel respected and cared for. She was passionate in her desire to help children, taking a keen interest in Sand Tray Therapy in the tradition of Dora Kalff, a Swiss Jungian psychologist. Children who worked with Kathleen were introduced to her elaborate collection of miniatures, enabling them to work on complex interpersonal issues in an expressive, non-verbal way. Her goddaughter Meisha Vella now has the collection and plans to incorporate it in her own practice as a therapist. With her keen sense of humor Kathleen was drawn to the character of 'Coyote' as described in Native American mythology - a trickster, expressing wry humor in the middle of life's trials. She developed numerous board and card games for children featuring Connie Coyote, a whimsical character with a magic wand and a princess crown. She marketed the games for therapists to use in helping children understand their feelings, and to facilitate communication between children and their parents and counselors. Her family and friends could always count on Kathleen remembering special occasions. She never forgot a birthday, and she was famous for sending out carefully chosen care packages of gifts and games. Up to her last days she was busy preparing birthday and Christmas gifts, and had assembled over 100 wrapped packages carefully selected for the special children in her life. Kathleen was a beloved wife and mother, a gentle realist, a reverent mystic, and a subtle humorist, always seeking soulful solutions to young people's problems as they navigate a grown-up world. Hers was an exemplary life of friendship and service and with her generosity of spirit she was an inspiration to others, showing the healing power of true listening, love, compassion and humor. Donations in memory of Kathleen may be made to MD Anderson Cancer Center, gifts.mdanderson.org