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JOHN BENDER Obituary
JOHN FREDERICK BENDER (Age 73)
A resident of McLean, VA, John Bender died at the Adler Center for Caring in Aldie, VA on April 9, 2018. He had lung cancer. A graduate of Phillips Exeter Academy, Princeton University, and the Fletcher School of Law and Diplomacy, John had a long and distinguished career with the federal government, specializing in intelligence and security issues, with assignments in the Middle East, South Asia, Europe, and Asia. He retired in 2007. John served with the First Marine Division in Vietnam (Kilo 3/7) as a rifle platoon and company commander from 1968-69. His personal decorations include the Bronze Star, Navy Commendation, and Purple Heart medals. He retired from the U.S. Marine Corps Reserve in 2005 with the rank of colonel. He is survived by Margaret, his wife of 49 years, their daughters, Heather and Alexandra, and grandson, Logan; a sister, Peggy, and a brother, James. John was predeceased by a sister, Susan. John's life was spent in the nation's service. His example lives on in the men and women he led and mentored over the course of his career, and in his daughters and grandson, of whom he was immensely proud. Funeral services will be held at The Falls Church Episcopal on Saturday, April 28 at 10 a.m. Committal will be at Arlington National Cemetery on a date to be determined. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made in John's memory to the Nelda Clark Myers Foundation, c/- Farmers State Bank, Quinton, OK 74561.
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Memories and Condolences
for JOHN BENDER
A Colleague
June 9, 2025
John was an exceptional human being in every way. I'm proud to have known him when I was just a young pup and he was a wise and dedicated leader. His government work was important to our nation.
Thank you, John.
April herbert
April 9, 2025
Thinking of you today, Margaret and family.
Remembering your loss,
April and Kevin
April Herbert
April 9, 2023
Thinking of you, Margaret and family as you remember John with loving thoughts. April Herbert
John Joseph
December 14, 2022
A student, I first met John in 1979 in New Delhi and he invited me to his home for dinner for my first Christmas there, where I met his wife Margaret and two daughters.
Thank you John; you were a good man. Margaret, I am sorry for your loss.
April Herbert
April 9, 2020
I am remembering John and your loss on this second anniversary of his death. Best regards,
April and Kevin Herbert
April Herbert
April 9, 2019
Margaret and Family,
I know you are all strong,yet miss Johns presence in your lives. My thoughts go out to you on this day of remembrance.
Best regards,
April Herbert
Muriel and Christopher Darlington
April 9, 2019
As time and life's routine goes on, know that we think of you and your family, with much affection!
Phil and Jo Ellen Essman
May 9, 2018
Meg:. We are so very sorry to learn of John's passing. It's been far too long as life took us on different paths. We've thought of you, Heather and Alex over the years and our days together in DC. If your travels bring you through St Louis, please look us up.
Cynthia Romero
May 2, 2018
I met John while working in South Asia and underneath the veneer of seriousness was a wonderful sense of humor and huge smile! I was glad to have worked with John even for a short period of time.
Mark & MaryJane Cheng
April 29, 2018
Rev. Ohmer summed up John so very well yesterday when he noted that John personified both Princeton's unofficial motto, "In the nation's service and the service of humanity," and that of the Marine Corps, "Semper Fidelis." A great boss, role model, and friend who is deeply missed. Our hearts go out to Margaret, Alex, and Heather.
MaryJane and Mark
Sydney 2006
Chris and Muriel Darlington
April 28, 2018
To Margaret, Heather and Alex.
Please accept our deepest condolences.
Chris and I consider ourselves very fortunate to have known John, both personally and professionally. Many will miss him, as will we.
Chris and Muriel
Burton Gerber
April 27, 2018
To Margaret, John was the best; the man we measured others by. May wonderful memories and God's grace comfort you and Heather and Alex, and grandson, and other family members.
April and Kevin Herbert
April 26, 2018
May all of your memories of precious times with John help ease your loss.
Thinking of the Bender family.
With Sympathy, April and Kevin Herbert
Charles McGarry
April 26, 2018
Monique and I send our deepest sympathies.
John was my first boss and an admired role model few could match for integrity, dedication to our nation, and devotion to a beloved family.
Jason and Suzanne Matthews
April 25, 2018
Margaret, Alex and Heather,
We are thinking of you during this difficult time. John was a dear friend, colleague and mentor. A man of integrity and compassion, he will be missed by so many of his former colleagues.
Jason and Suzanne
Chuck Leven
April 25, 2018
John was the best boss I ever had. He was smart, dedicated, and focused, and always tried to do the right thing and what was best for the country. I will forever be in his debt.
Mark and Jennifer Kelton
April 24, 2018
To Margaret and the family, we send our deepest condolences. John was our friend, colleague, mentor, and inspiration. We will miss him.
Mark and Jennifer Kelton
Terry Williamson
April 22, 2018
John was in our wedding some 48 years ago and remained a good friend over the years although our paths diverged. During our service as platoon commanders in Vietnam, he was regarded as one of the best officers in the battalion (3/7) and everything he did for the rest of his life proved our motto Semper Fidelis, to his family friends, Corps and country. It was such a privilege to know him and and he'll be missed.
Paul and Norah Broadbent
April 20, 2018
Eternal rest grant unto him of Lord....and may he rest in peace.
April 19, 2018
John was a good friend at the Fletcher School. He will be missed. Our prayers are lovingly sent on high. George & Barbara Breeden, Annapolis, MD
Joanne Mei
April 18, 2018
Sincere condolences to John's family as John was a Fletcher classmate whom we all appreciated and will miss!
Vangelis Hotzoglou
April 18, 2018
I am deeply saddened by the loss that you and your family have encountered.
John was a wonderful man and he will be remembered by his friends and colleagues in Athens Greece. He gave so many things to all of us. Work-wise and with his low profile and witty spirit he was always there for us.
Today I bid farewell not to a Chief but to a dear friend, who has been beside me in good and bad times.
May care and love of those around you provide comfort and peace to get you through the days ahead. My most sincere condolences.
Peter Dove
April 16, 2018
A good and decent young man when we met in 1963 en route college; still a good and decent man went we last met at c college dinner. Semper Fi, Chief.
Pat Conway
April 16, 2018
Chief was a classmate and teammate at Exeter. What I didn't know was that he was a fellow Marine who served in Nam at about the same time.
Semper Fi, Chief. Go in peace, you've deserved it
Martin Cooper
April 16, 2018
I am deeply sorry to learn of the passing of John Bender, with whom I served in a South Asia posting. He was the finest colleague anyone could wish for. My condolences to his loved ones.
Eric Pound
April 16, 2018
Rest well John. You earned it. We'll catch up when the Dinosaur Club reconvenes on the other side.
April 16, 2018
Sending condolences from our family who recently lost a husband, father, and exceptional officer and mentor, who worked with and learned from John. We mourn with you .
Lynn Leibig
Sarah Pavitt
April 15, 2018
Thinking of all of you constantly and sending much love and light your way. I'm so very sorry for your loss... Please know that we are all here for you.
Ric Prado
April 15, 2018
Goodbye Colonel, enjoy the peace you earned through your sacrifice and heroism. Until we meet again (I so hope). Ric P.
Ross Newland
April 15, 2018
Your memory lives on in all of us.
Frank Anderson
April 15, 2018
May God bless you and your family in this time of sorrow.
April 15, 2018
A truly gifted leader - very few like him.
-Bob
kiki
April 15, 2018
You are not alone during this time of sorrow and pain. May God give your family strength and comfort to help you endure this loss. As you remember your beloved one, the God of peace give you comfort and peace in every way. May you find Strength from the love and care that surrounds you and comfort in the memories that you shared. Please accept my sincere condolences. IS 41:10
kristin
April 15, 2018
You are not alone during this time of sorrow and pain. May God give your family strength and comfort to help you endure this loss. As you remember your beloved one, the God of peace give you comfort and peace in every way. May you find Strength from the love and care that surrounds you and comfort in the memories that you shared. Please accept my sincere condolences. IS 41:10
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