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Keeping Mom’s Memory Alive

by Linnea Crowther

For some families, Mother’s Day means celebrating the memory of a mother who is dearly missed. One of the most time-honored ways of keeping Mom’s legacy alive for future generations is writing and publishing a loving obituary that tells her life story. In honor of all the mothers we’ve lost in the past year and all the families who are mourning them, here are a few of the most fascinating moms we got to know through their obituaries, published at Legacy this year.

Else Nielsen Stall

1922–2022

Else Stall’s obituary tells a tale of almost 100 years of life, including her high school graduation trip to Denmark: “The great plan for her trip was for her to stay in Denmark for one full year, but unfortunately Hitler had other plans. Her father sent her a telegram advising her that he had booked passage for her on the next ship to come home. Telegrams were considered to be inordinately expensive, and she sent one back that she was “having a great time and did not want to leave.” She received another telegram from her father demanding that she come home NOW. The ship on which she returned home went far up into the North Sea, a sobering experience in stark contrast to her joyful sailing to Europe six months before which had been filled with lovely meals, music, and parties. On her ship’s subsequent return voyage to London from the US, it was torpedoed by a German submarine.”

Stall’s family wrote lovingly about her commitment to her children, grandchildren, and other loved ones: “When each new grandchild was born, she and Hank hopped on a plane to be there and help. In later years, they travelled to celebrate their birthdays in person, letting those children and grandchildren know how special and loved they were. BEING THERE was her credo, for joyful celebrations or if someone needed help. If she had a second creed, it was to be a good listener. So many of the people who sent her emails or cards in the last month of her life thanked her for listening and genuinely caring about their lives.”

Read Else Nielsen Stall’s full obituary here.

Grace Scott

1929–2022

Grace Scott found her calling in caring for others: “As a humanitarian concerned about poverty and social conditions, Grace as an older adult pursued a bachelor’s degree in sociology at Lincoln University near Oxford, Pa., and master’s from Philly’s Temple University in social work during the late 1970s and early 1980s, receiving the highest honors at both colleges upon graduating. During her career at the Women’s Christian Alliance, she received accolades for her steadfast determination to protect the rights of foster-care children and ensure that they lived in humane conditions. She relished being the voice and protector of society’s most vulnerable children.”

Just as important to her was family: “She was especially impressed with exploring her Gullah-Geechee ancestry and ties to the historic Penn School on St. Helena Island, just north of where her paternal Middleton and Mitchell ancestors had been enslaved on Spring Island from the late 1700s. Several were among the first black soldiers to fight for the Union in the Civil War. A century later, Rev. King and his associates would strategize at the school. Indeed, often thought of as “Amazing Grace” because of her outstanding fortitude and determination, she was exceptionally proud of raising four surviving sons … all college graduates with advanced degrees.”

Read Grace Scott’s full obituary here.

Vera Mae Clayton

A mom doesn’t have to be a globetrotting activist to be remembered in an amazingly beautiful obituary. Vera Clayton’s obituary takes us back in time to tell the story of how she met her husband: “In 1946, at the age of 13, Vera met Richard (Red) Clayton. He charmed her with lines like, ‘Hey honey, did the bees make you? ‘Cause you sure are sweet.’ He worked the Ferris wheel at the nearby amusement park while she sold tickets at the booth. Vera would tell stories of how Red would use her bike to give her a ride home after work. One day as they rode along, her skirt got tangled up in the wheel. Imagine arriving home with her dress torn: ‘Hey Mum and Dad, I’d like you to meet Richard.’ Red would often miss his own bus ride home and sleep on the Stephensons’ front porch at 499 Beach Blvd.”

It goes on to describe the foods her loved ones remember her by: “Vera was a loving mother, who gave her children freedom and independence, but was always there when needed. She was the ultimate homemaker, tending to her home and garden, canning fruits, and vegetables, and baking the best pies and chocolate chip cookies. As the 60s and 70s turned into the 80s and 90s, the children all married as well. A typical day for Vera was taking care of the house while listening to Sinatra in the morning, soap operas in the afternoon, and the Blue Jays in the evening. Always wanting to contribute, Vera would bake banana bread, pies, cookies, and squares for her eight eager grandchildren and close friends to enjoy – be it Christmas, weekends in Muskoka, family dinners, or just because.”

Read Vera Clayton’s full obituary here.

Harriet Emily Sung Lou

1928–2022

Harriet Lou was born in China, but made her home in the U.S. after traveling there to study: “As a teenager, Harriet embarked on the grand adventure of going to school on the other side of the globe, at Lake Erie College in Painesville, Ohio. Her way was paved by her older sister, but she was quick to make friends of her own. Some of her daughters’ godmothers are women who were enchanted by her undergraduate persona, and we have enjoyed hearing endearing stories of her youth from them over the years.”

Her obituary tells of her career as a laboratory chemist and her special love for family and friends: “Harriet and Si Chiu were avid travelers. Family vacations took the Lous across the country by car. Harriet really loved taking photographs and their smiles are immortalized in locales around the world-usually with one or two daughters in tow. They took each of their daughters to China, and the photos in regional dress atop camels are treasured. She took notes over many years in a book of must-see places and instilled the love of seeing the world and of learning about all people in each of their children. Harriet’s days were full, with teatime with friends, her regular mahjong group, crocheting and knitting, volunteering, taking care of her plants, watching the Warriors play, and sharing love and nourishment by preparing special dishes or treating people to her favorite restaurants. She was proud that she could learn to get on a Zoom call by herself during Covid time.”

Read Harriet Lou’s full obituary here.

Janet S. Peoples

1918–2021

Janet Peoples lived an incredible life, as related in her obituary: “Her life was a most unlikely one for someone who was never expected to survive her infancy. Born addicted to morphine during the influenza pandemic of 1918, she was delivered by a doctor who was so confident that she wouldn’t live that he didn’t fill out her birth certificate until days later (and then did so incorrectly, putting down that she was a boy). As many people discovered over her more than a century of life, however, Janet was made of sterner stuff. She survived and thrived, and lived to see four children, twelve grandchildren, and eight great-grandchildren.”

Family was clearly a cherished part of her life: “Her children fondly remember surprise trips to the old Indianapolis zoo or picnics at Holcomb gardens, sometimes followed by ice cream sodas. Janet made the most with what she had, and while she let her children know that her money was very limited, she somehow found a way to not only feed and clothe them, but to make memories together. This included taking them on vacations, even to Hawaii. … She was also unflappable, whether one of the kids started a fire in the kitchen, glued the telephone receiver down so it couldn’t be answered, caused an explosion with his chemistry lab in the basement (ahem), faked an alien invasion to ruin his sister’s slumber party (ahem, ahem), or stayed out far too late (ahems all around), she was never fazed. Despite their many shenanigans, their mom was always their biggest fan and supporter.”

Read Janet Peoples’ full obituary here.

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