Gordon Howard Fletcher-Howell

AMHERST - Gordon Howard Fletcher-Howell, 70, died peacefully at the Soldiers' Home in Holyoke on July 23, 2018.
He leaves his beloved wife of 46 years, Melanie; daughters Jessica Jimison of Amherst and Whitney Vaughan (Derek) of Durango, Colorado; and three granddaughters: Linden Jimison and Maya and Alexa Vaughan. He also leaves siblings Betty Howell (Jerry Anderson) of Palo Alto, California, and John Howell of Richmond, Indiana; sisters-in-law Carolee Howell of Palm Desert, California, and Ann Neville Howell of Pocassett; father-in-law Donald Fletcher of Amherst; brother-in-law Clark Fletcher (Kathy Brown) of Chicopee; and three nephews and their families. He was preceded in death by his parents, Alvin and Helen (Whitney) Howell, and brother Harry Howell.
Gordon loved his family dearly and cherished reunions and opportunities for deep one-on-one conversations. In a cruel twist, his frontotemporal dementia took his language bit by bit several years ago, and he was left to communicate with his family through funny gestures, faces and noises, then finally only his expressive eyes.
Gordon grew up in Arlington, the youngest of four. He enlisted in the Marine Corps and served two tours of duty in South Vietnam as a radio operator in the First Marine Division Headquarters Battalion. He described his experience as having "turned me from a being a gung-ho 19-year-old Marine to a disillusioned, confused adult with serious questions about the role of war in world politics." He felt the biggest lesson he learned was that "war is an institution the world needs to outgrow." Upon his return home to Arlington in 1969, he promptly joined the Vietnam Veterans Against the War, participating in protests in Washington, D.C. and Boston. During this tumultuous time, Gordon's sister Betty brought home a former student for dinner with their family, and Gordon and Melanie's romance began spontaneously!
Gordon and Melanie worked their way across the U.S. doing odd jobs, landing in Kenwood, California, where they were married in 1972. Organic gardening and tree pruning became his passions, leading him back to the East Coast and eventually to Amherst in 1976. He earned his bachelor's degree (summa cum laude) in plant and soil science followed by his master's degree in entomology from the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Meanwhile, he baked bread for the family, tended and harvested the vegetable garden, built a tree house and taught his daughters to swing a hammer and have confidence in all aspects of work.
He also worked tirelessly in his landscaping company, Earthcare, since 1976. Gordon left his mark on Amherst in plantings and patios around the area. He pruned specimens out of trees and shrubs others thought should be destroyed. His meticulous nature and belief in high quality work set him aside as a niche landscaper. Gordon loved to give work opportunities to young people who needed a second or third chance, and found that he could connect well with people who felt ostracized from society's strong current. Gordon participated in local politics for many years, believing it was his civic duty to represent environmentally minded small business people, families, veterans, etc. He taught many pruning and landscape design classes through the Leisure Services over the years. Following the gulf War, it became apparent that Gordon struggled with post-traumatic stress disorder, born of his experiences in Vietnam. Speaking to local youth in schools and detention facilities with the Veterans Education Project became a positive outlet for processing his complicated Vietnam experiences in creative ways to deglorify violence and increase understanding of the costs of violence. This work, coupled with treatment through the VA system, brought Gordon peace that had previously escaped him.
Gordon was outspoken, even if his opinions were unpopular. He loved to engage in substantive debate, not necessarily to change anyone's mind, but rather to build a mutual understanding of varied perspectives. He was known to hold signs on the Amherst town common, but often stood apart from other demonstrators because he wanted to bring attention to a more nuanced perspective.
Gordon learned to show his deep love and respect for his bride, genuinely appreciating Mel's "features," all the qualities that make her uniquely Mel, and the perfect balance to his own stubborn self. He frequently said his marriage to Mel made him the luckiest man in the world!
Perhaps Gordon shined most as a grandparent (Oompa). While his approach to parenting was strict at times, he embraced his role as grandparent with nothing but love and adoration. He took pride in his ability to provide the full range of infant and toddler care. His grandchildren will remember him as always playful and jolly. He reveled in being a part of their lives, as he felt they were treasures.
When Gordon's mind was declining, he eventually received the diagnosis of frontotemporal dementia and he understood this would not be an easy road for anyone. Always one to accept a challenge, Gordon declared, "I WILL NOT WHINE!" And he never did. His bravery surpassed all expectations, and the end of his journey was facilitated by the incredibly kind, caring, and compassionate staff at the Soldiers' Home in Holyoke. If he could have spoken, he would have told them what a beautiful job they are doing, honoring Veterans and maintaining their dignity through the ends of their lives. He stood his ground, in Vietnam, Amherst politics, and during his descent toward death. Semper Fidelis… to family, friends, and his principles.
All are welcome to join his calling hours at the Douglass Funeral Home on Monday, July 30, 2018, 4-6 p.m., with an open sharing of remembrances to follow 6:15-7 p.m. In lieu of flowers, please consider a donation to Gordon's favorite local nonprofit, the Veterans' Education Project, PO Box 416, Amherst, MA 01004-0416.
Memorial register at www.douglassfuneral.com.