Adam Christian Fenty

This month is more difficult than most, in a few weeks it will be 3 years since your death my beloved son...I feel constant heartache and loss, so hard to feel joy without you in our lives. I miss you so much Adam and yet I am surrounded by you in our home, your room remains untouched, frozen in time, waiting for you. Every morning I wake up and open my eyes and the pain is consuming, it's like re-living the horror over and over. We have a candle in the bay window for you, it's been lit...

It's been almost 10 weeks since your death and I can't believe that I continue living and breathing without you in my life. I carried you for 9 months and when you were born I was the happiest mother on earth. Freddy and I became parents on July 4, 1986 and you immediately became the focus of our world. I don't know how to be a mom to 2 children, I am the mother of 3 wonderful children. My heart is shattered and I feel profoundly sad every minute of my life since your death...I love you...

Adam, I wasn't ready to let you go, no one was. So many words left unsaid, words meant to be spoken that never were. But it wasn't the words that mattered--what little we exchanged--it was the little things, the little glances from across rooms, the fact that you always picked up the phone when I was too sick to get it myself. I wish I could've been there for you as much as you were for me. It's too late and I'm sorry for that. You better enjoy yourself up there in the stars and the cosmos...

Im so sorry for your loss, Adam and I went to Boces together in islip and became good friends, Im crushed by this news, My prayers are with him and his family, may he rest in peace and his soul forever live on. Always in our hearts Adam.

My beloved Brother,

This broken heart just won't mend,
I'm looking for a way to escape from reality,
To escape,
these beeping horns and these panicked faces;
and going back to the days when we were just kids.
No responsibilities, no regrets
free from karma, pain and a ruptured heart.
Guide me back to a place,
where life was still pure
and our minds were so young.
Back to a place,
where smiles weren't so rare; but...