Amanda C. Kaake

Its been 4 years and it's not any easier. I miss you so much.

She was an awesome woman. Gone too soon

I was in denial about your death until I got the call. No way could my baby girl be dying. It just wasn't happening. You were going to be a miracle. I never even said the words until after you passed. I ask myself every day why you. It should've been me. I still want it to be me. I love you and miss you so much. The other thing I'm scared of is your babies won't remember you. How much you loved them or how hard you tried to live for them.

So it´s Christmas Day and I still don´t feel the spirit. But I got some cute gifts from your brother and Erin. Got a journal to write to you in now

Christmas is next Sunday and I just can't get into it. I miss you so much it's not the same. I love you so much. Mom

I can't stop feeling so lost without you. I miss you so much. The only thing that gets me through the day is believing that you are happy and not in pain.

Your big brother is going to try to play Santa Claus to your babies and niece and nephews. He makes a good Santa. Erin will video it so we can see it. I so want to be with you. I love you and miss you. This is not getting any easier. Here's a picture of what he looks like baby girl.

I miss you wish I was with you. Happy Birthday baby girl

Happy Birthday my sweet baby girl. It's been two years now and I still can't move on nor do I want to. So many days I find myself praying to be with you again. Everyone keeps telling me it will get better with time. The only time I want is with you. I love and miss you so much. And my heart breaks that you're not here to see your babies growing up. I'm so afraid because they're so young they will forget how much you loved them. Happy Birthday my sweet baby girl.