Benjamin WHITMAN Jr.

Well, i miss you as you know I am in FLORIDA, I love you mom

Remember how we used to stay up until 3am, shooting the air-soft. Remember when we dyed your hair blue. Remember when we suspended your tent. Remember you getting your tattoo. Remember your mom calling asking "what are you doing on woodlake dr"? Remember you making me get greasy while you explained how to do my brakes. Remember you trying to snowboard. Remember you and your son.
I wish you were here.

Ben, my sweet young man....This is the lst time I get to write in your book. This hurts so bad, I want you back so bad. I love you and I can't wait to see you in heaven....
love you
mom

In My Pocket

I have memories in my pocket.
They rattle among the change.

My memories of you are treasures I carry wherever I go.

They are stored in bits and pieces, parts of a beautiful whole
They give me comfort when I think I am alone.

Yes, I have memories in my pocket, like so much other stuff I keep there.

But of all the treasures I have, it’s the memories of you that are the most precious.

Dear Ben
This is almosst the last time Iwill write in your book. Life seems so hard without you. I always knew in my heart that you were a spirtied person. I love you so much and trying to realize that I don't have you is unbearable. I think daily about all the crazy things you would do, and wounder about the crazy things you did when I wasn't home, there is so much more I need to say but I will wait until we meet in heaven. I know this you were a good friend to all your friends and...

Ben
Brennon spent the weekend with his mom & Julie at the Black Jack Nationals, he so bad wanted to win a trophy as big as the one you won, but he got 6th place and you know that. Life is complicated without you, I am learning that if I don't want to do something I don't have to and I can say no. My wish, is that I did more with you and I am so sorry that I did'nt, there is no way I can ever make this up to you and it hurts I love you so much that I just want my life to hurry up and...

Ben
I miss you so much, it has been 9months since you left us, I want to wake up from this dream so bad. It has been a wild ride for B & I as you know BMX, I am trying Ben, I love you and you know that because every night I go into your & Brennon's room and cry & pray, I wait every night for you to come. Please save a place for me, i long to be with you again....I love you mom.

This book has really helped with the grieving process we all had to go thru after losing you. I am thankful that Karen has welcomed me into her life and that I get to watch little B grow up. You would be so proud of him on his BMX bike...your memory lives on in him for a lot of us who miss you terribly. Everytime I look at Brennon I see you...and that sneaky little smile you had. Although Brennon has his own little way of smiling...it's got a slice of your mischief in it.