Jennifer Ann Marshall

6 years too long. I miss you so bad

Jennifer: It´s been 5 years, 6 months, and 8 days since we lost you. As I sit here and write that, it seems so unreal. When we first lost you, I didn´t know how I was going to get through that first night, much less 5½ years! I remember being in shock, telling myself to be strong for Kaiden, Sara, your dad, Lori Beth, BJ, and the rest of the family. I never thought about myself and how I was going to make it. I didn´t know how to do anything but put on a brave face for everyone else. ...

That time of the year is coming up again soon. God, what I wouldn't give to have this all be a dream. You would be surprised, and in some cases not, how much things have changed since you have been gone. How much I have changed since you left. I love you. I miss your beautiful face. M.S.K.

It is still ... weird ... to think you are gone, have an obituary and I cant hear your voice. Never a feeling that is going to sit right. I miss you

Life has been very hard and difficult these past three years. I would love to tell you how happy and overjoyed life has been for me, but I cannot. Is there happiness in my life, of course. Is there joy in my life, of course. But always with that happiness and joy, there is always the sadness and pain of losing you. That never changes. That sadness and pain is with me all day, every day. But even with that sadness and pain, I am so very blessed to have had you as my daughter and friend....

Its still hard to accept the fact that you are gone. I miss having you in life. i wish you could know how much i love you. I needed you more than you knew.

Sunday is your birthday. Doesn't seem the same. No cake. No singing. No laughing. No you. This is not how life is supposed to be. This is not what I visioned for us. This is not how I want life to be..... to exist in this world without you. I miss you deeply. I love you completely. I'm never going to be the same without you.

You cannot imagine how much pain we are still in. The amount of energy it takes me to do my best for everyone else. Today two years ago was the last time I saw your face. It wasnt the same face I had always seen. It was much different. Hurt more. I miss you beyond understanding. I love you more than cookie monster sister.

It’s been two long hard years since losing you. I sit and reflect on how unfair life is. I sit and reflect at how ignorant I was to suicide and loss. I sit and know how your life changed me for the better and your death changed me for the worse. I know you would want me to be happy and move forward, but all I end up doing is feel my sadness and heartbreak from losing you; feel how unfair life is without you being in this world to share your heart and soul; feel like I failed you. You were...