Joshua Anthony ZUNIGA

hey joshie, its emma. i have been missing you a lot the past couple of months especially. i have a notebook that i write to you in but i just found this. i love you so much and i miss you so much. you would be the best little brother ever. eli knows about you and loves you. i will hopefully visit when i can. it has been hard and the memories of you are slowly coming back into my head. you had the most beautiful blonde hair and gorgeous eyes. i wish i remembered you as much as daddy and mommy...

Happy Birthday Buddy...thinking about you.

It's been three years since you went to Heaven Joshie. Just when I thought I had moved to brighter days the dim sadness came back. I fight my memories of that day and force myself to remember your smile. One day I'll see you again. I'll give you a big hug and I am sure you will remind me of our best days. Until then, I will miss you and hope that you visit me soon. Watch over big sister and Baby E.

Just a few weeks until your 5th birthday, I know mommy visits you often and has told you all about our holiday plans. I look forward to falling asleep every night wondering what games we will play but I must admit that waking up is becoming harder and harder everyday. We will put up your stocking as always and I am sure Santa is planning on a special gift for you. I miss you terribly Joshie and I am sorry that I still can't visit you. Years have passed but that day will always be with...

Joshie, You have been talking to me in my dreams a lot lately so I thought it a good time to update you on things. Big sister will start gymnastics competitions soon. She practices 6 hours a week but really seems to love putting in the hard work. Baby E is standing but not walking; I am sure that will change real soon. We keep busy the last few months of the year and although Mommy and I don't say it we can see in each others eyes how much our hearts break this time of year. I often think...

Big news this week Joshie...Baby E started crawling this week. He is still getting his balance and has done a few face plants but over all he cruises around pretty good. M plays with him much like she played with you. Also like you Baby E tries to follow her around and gets frustrated when he can't catch her. I had to travel for work this week and had a difficult time answering questions about our family. I met a lot of new people and they politely asked how many children I had. I...

It was big sisters birthday this week; she decided to have a pool party. She had a great time and baby brother was on his best behavior even though he is getting over a cold. Every milestone brings back memories of you. Memories that escaped me over the past 2 years; they are bitter sweet almost bringing me to my knees in grief but yet I cherish them. Good night my baby angel...watch over your sister and brother.

Please forgive me Joshie, It has taken Daddy some time to talk to you again. I miss you dearly but my memories of you become brighter everyday. I no longer avoid looking at your pictures fearing the same pain and burden I felt the day you went to heaven. I find myself talking to you during mass rather than praying for you. There are exciting times ahead for Emma and Eli; I know you will be with them each step of the way.

Happy Birthday Joshie. You are in our hearts & thoughts daily. We love you so very much.