Joy L. Kotlarz

One more year and a million tears have gone by...I find it hard to believe that 6 years have past us by since you left to join Dad in heaven...I still sit almost daily and think on the things that we have done but those memories don't hurt as much now...I still miss you terribly especially when I think about playing canasta or frustration without you... I miss our long midnight talks and all the advice you gave me that I usually didn't follow and told you that I should have... You were right...

I have been coming here to write out some memories or to just simply talk about you Momma...I know you can't read it but I hope that somehow you can know what is in my heart and know how much I love you...Today's thought is just a bit weird but I think the transition is complete I am now fully just like you... I told the my other half to clean up the mess on the table and he answered with I didn't make it so with out hesitation I turned around and said "I didn't ask who made it I asked you...

Well Momma Here we are again one more year gone by and it is your Birthday. I miss you so much it hurts sometimes. I want to make you another "broken" cake (it was good though..LOL) and burnt pot roast for dinner then play cards all night...Miss those games and the conversations we had along with them. Happy Birthday Momma I love you and carry you with me always...

Well Momma here we are again and one more year has passed us by. I finally found the courage to go through all the stuff I have here from the house and the pictures I brought home will have to wait just a little longer cause the memories still hurt to much. I still cannot get past the pain loosing you has left me with. I so wish that you were here to play cards and tell me how to cook that cabbage soup...but Momma I experimented with this batch of cabbage soup and I wish you were here to...

Happy Birthday Momma! I wish you were here I would make you a three hole cake and give you maple walnut ice cream to eat with it then we would laugh a joke around while playing cards all night like we did so many times before... I miss you so very much Luvs you lots...

Another year without you...I keep this here Momma cause I just can't let go yet...Don't know if that will ever be possible but for now I come here and add another memory of your sweet kindness and the never ending support that you gave me from the day I was born till the day you left this earth you were my rock and I did not know just how much of my strength I drew from you and your wise words...I miss the nights we sat and played cards till the sun came up...I miss the laughter we shared...

One more year has gone by and still I miss you as much today as I did the day you winged your way to heaven. I have somehow found the strength to go on but I think of you every day and I hear your voice and see your loving face in my dreams...save a place for me Momma I love you always...

All I waaannted was to beeee by your siiide when you two died so that way I could hear you say Tommy baby you don't have to worry about meeeee it will be okay just go on living life the waaaaayyyy you want tooo...we will never ever be apart we will always stay in your heaaaarrt!!!! but now that i never got to hear you say that. I feel like that you are always away from meee and even now if i do have pictures of you it still feels like you are fading awaaayyy frrrrooomm my hearrtt and...

I now remember all the times me and my grandmother spent together playing card games and when i always spent the night over at my grandparents house i felt happiness


When the sun went down and everyone was sleeping, if I heard a sound like things around me creeping she would wrap her arms around me and tell me don't be scared and i knew that i was safe because she was always there.....When the storms would come and things would seem so bad and i wanna cry i'd listen to my granddad...