Juan José Guerrero Ibarra

On Valentine's Day 2023, almost a year and a half after Ruben's passing, I still miss his company, his laugh, his mordant humor, his physical presence. At the same time I have settled into a state of appreciation--gratitude--that we met, that we loved each other, that we formalized our relationship in marriage, that we committed to a future together. Even though it did not last forever, it does in memory. He was an unforgettable phase of my life, perhaps my last great love. But who can...

A couple of nights ago Ruben appeared to me in a dream. He had a kind of purposeful but happy expression on his face and he said, "I'm moving!" That word resonates very strongly with me. I co-wrote Earl Robinson's autobiography "Ballad of an American," and he used to say he did not believe in death. "I'm just moving to a new address."

Sorry for your loss. It is truly sad that you and Ruben were unable to enjoy a life together.

Deepest sympathy and condolences on your devastating loss. Zei gezunt un shtark.

When Ruben left for Mexico just around this time, Thanksgiving 2017, I stumbled upon a quote from Shakespeare: "This thou perceiv'st, which makes thy love more strong, To love that well which thou must leave ere long." (Sonnet 73) I wasn't even sure I'd ever see Ruben again, much less marry him! But over time I came to see that I was uniquely positioned to change his life and bring him back to L.A. where he could flourish--in love, in his creative art, in enjoying the city's vast cultural...

I had the honor and pleasure of meeting and spending time with Ruben and seeing his amazing art works. I was happy to welcome him to the family when he and Eric, a member of my family, married. It is sad to know that he is gone, but his inspiring spirit will never leave us and never be forgotten.

The world with all its problems moves on. Ruben was one to make them feel lighter with his wit and disdain for the insincere. I have no doubt at all that you will move forward as you have before carrying those memories that give you strength and wisdom to do so. As I said, I am only a phone call away in this time of grief and looking forward.

Eric, thank you for sharing this obituary with me. Although I never met your husband and rivers of years have separated us, I truly feel with you the abrupt end of your shared dreams, that much more precious for having come to you and Ruben late in life. Please do not let the fact of death affect your heart, my friend. Love never dies. Continue to talk with Ruben and to share your experiences, feelings, and ideas; you will hear his replies. Holding you both in the Light. One Love,

I will always be grateful that I got to know the gentle spirit that was Ruben.