Ruth Partain

(Ethel) Ruth Lloyd Partain, 90, died peacefully on the morning of November 25, 2022, after defying expectations of how long most doctors, nurses, and family members thought she could ever live. Her cheerful demeanor conveyed an irrepressible gratitude and love for everyone she encountered—whether at church, in the grocery store, at the post office, at the hairdresser, or in a care facility—despite experiencing a life-threatening and life-changing brain injury when she was 46.

Growing Up in Texas

“Ethel Ruth” (as her family of origin called her) was born in San Antonio, Texas, the youngest child of Rev. Ralph R. Lloyd and Ethel Mae (Phillips) Lloyd; she had two brothers, Ralph, Jr. and Edwin. Quiet and reserved through elementary school, she grew up under the watchful eye of a strict mother, who always made her wear a dress that was longer than anyone else’s. As her father took new jobs, the family moved around in Texas: First to Quanah, in north Texas when Ruth was 10; then, four years later, to the college town of Kingsville, in south Texas, where she attended high school. By her junior and senior years, she described herself as a “terrible flirt,” in the middle of everything socially and academically. She worked in the library, played in band, served as class secretary on student council, and chaired the program committee for the Junior-Senior Banquet.

She started college at the local Texas College of Arts and Industries (or Texas A&I; now Texas A&M University–Kingsville), then transferred to Baylor University for a year. Finally, she shifted to North Texas State University for her junior and senior years to focus on library science, particularly elementary school libraries. That led her to a degree in education and early jobs that combined teaching and library work in public schools.

Teaching took her to Austin, Texas, where her parents then lived. At Austin’s Hyde Park Baptist Church, she started dating Jack Partain, who asked her to marry him seven months later. They wed on August 6, 1955, and Ruth entered the marriage with the expectation that she would follow Jack’s call to be missionaries.

Two weeks after the wedding, Ruth became a librarian at Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary in North Carolina, where she and Jack had enrolled. Upon graduation, Jack became a pastor in Carson, Virginia, where their first two sons, William Daniel and Eugene Charles, were born. Ruth worked in the church with the children, leading Vacation Bible School, teaching Sunday school, and other roles.

Called to Be Missionaries in East Africa

That fall, 1962, the couple and their two young children set off by ship, then plane, to East Africa to become missionaries. Though she recalled that her father wholeheartedly supported their decision, her mother was disappointed that they were going “far away so I couldn’t even attend her funeral.” (In fact, Ruth wasn’t able to attend when her mother died in 1973.)

After eight months of language school to learn Kiswahili in Dar es Salaam, Tanganyika (which became Tanzania in 1964), the family moved to Kitale, Kenya, for one year, then to Nairobi, Kenya, where their third boy, David Lloyd was born. In late 1965, they settled in Arusha, Tanzania, where they were stationed for the rest of their missionary experience. Ruth's most prominent non-domestic role was as librarian, turning the Seminary library from an office-full-of-books to a fully functioning library.  The students most loved her typing class.

Ruth was a Lion Mom (there are no Tigers in Africa) and scarily organized.  When in the USA, she would buy four years' clothes for three boys, forecasting growth, wear and tear, hand-me-downs from other sources, and maybe even styles.  She was mostly right, but did not foresee bell-bottoms. She also was actively involved in her boys’ school, at one point serving on the School Board for Arusha School.

She also rediscovered an early interest that her mother had squelched: cooking. Since few pre-made foods were available (and some staples were hard to find), she, like many missionaries, mastered the art of making food from scratch that most Americans just pick up at the supermarket: Ice cream, hamburger buns, dinner rolls, cookies (you could only have four at a time), cut-out animal cakes for birthday parties, ketchup, mayonnaise, and much more.

If she couldn’t figure out how to make a dish or condiment, she would carefully calculate how much she would need in four years, then buy it in bulk when the family was on furlough in the States. Once back in Arusha, she would stash it in a locked closet. Then she would ration it according to plan so the family could have a few particular American delicacies (like cherry pie) throughout their tours in Africa. It’s not a surprise that she was known as a welcoming host to guests and a loving “aunt” to many “missionary kids” who treasured her as a valued person in their lives.

However, life was not always easy. Food shortages, boys away from home in boarding school (starting in seventh grade), closed borders due to political conflicts, the deaths of her parents, and other issues took their toll on Ruth. Then on March 23, 1978, she, Jack, and another missionary, Marilyn McMillan, were driving back to Arusha from Dar es Salaam (about 400 miles) when their car hit a truck parked in the road before dawn without reflectors or flashing lights. Ruth suffered a major head injury that led to a medical evacuation, arriving in Texas on April 6.

She lived 16,886 days before the accident, and 16,318 days after—an almost even split. The family never returned to live in Africa.

Finding a New Way Forward after a Devastating Accident

Months in hospital and therapy followed the accident, and her recovery was near-miraculous, though she was by no means as before. She was able to do some cooking and housework, and she participated socially (though sometimes awkwardly). She traveled, including trips back to East Africa and trips to see her boys, their spouses, and her grandchildren.

In 1983 after Jack completed his doctorate and searched for permanent work in the States, the couple settled in Boiling Springs, NC, where Jack taught religious studies at Gardner-Webb University and   Ruth more-or-less managed as a homemaker.

As the couple settled into Boiling Springs, Ruth became known around town as the “count your blessings” or “good news” lady.  She might ask anyone she encountered, stranger or friend: “Can I tell you some good news?” And she backed her words with deeds: More than a few of Jack's classes enjoyed one of Ruth’s curry dinners or a big batch of chocolate-chip cookies.

Ruth was a stalwart member of Boiling Springs Baptist Church, and she loved the Willing Workers Sunday School class. Her faith was always straightforward and true. Even late in life, her memory for the 1956 Baptist Hymnal was comprehensive, including the oft-skipped third verses.

However, Ruth was never fully independent again after the 1978 accident. Jack provided ongoing care until his death in 2010, doing as much as he could to keep her engaged with the world. From then until Ruth’s death, her son Will Partain provided her with care and companionship.

Ruth was preceded in death by her parents, brothers, husband, Dr. Jack G. Partain, and daughter-in-law Jolene L. Roehlkepartain.  She is survived by her sons Dr. William D. Partain (Grace Semple) of Glasgow, Scotland; Dr. Eugene C. Roehlkepartain of St. Louis Park, Minnesota; and David L. Partain (Anneli Rydgren Partain) of Linköping, Sweden; and by her grandchildren in Minnesota (Micah Roehlkepartain and Eli Roehlkepartain) and Sweden (Beatrice Partain, Jonathan Partain, and Samuel Partain).

Memorial Service and Gifts

A memorial service will be held at 2 pm on Saturday, December 10, 2022, at Boiling Springs Baptist Church in Boiling Springs, NC,  with Rev. Bonnie Doughtie officiating. The family will receive friends one hour prior to the service. Family and friends, especially those who have traveled a distance, may visit longer at a gathering  after the burial, back at the church.

The main service will be live online at: https://www.facebook.com/bsbcnc (Facebook account not required).

In lieu of flowers, memorial gifts may be made to the Jack and Ruth Partain Scholarship (Gardner-Webb University, P. O. Box 997, Boiling Springs, NC 28017), or to Africa Exchange (Africa Exchange, 4511 Eno Cemetery Road, Cedar Grove, NC 27231; https://www.africaexchange.org/donate).

Cecil M. Burton Funeral Home & Crematory is serving the family.