Thomas W. DeMille

Noted Attorney who loved family and the arts passes at age 78



Thomas W. DeMille of New London, New Hampshire, died at home surrounded by his loving family on February 24th, 2017. Born in Dorchester, Massachusetts on October 9, 1938, he was the son of Thomas Martin and Margaret (Ashmore) DeMille. Tom achieved great success as an attorney and later as a preserver, protector and rejuvenator of historic treasures, significantly of summer stock theaters.


Tom graduated Magna Cum Laude with a degree in Business Administration from Northeastern University in 1961 and was awarded a Juris Doctor Degree, Magna Cum Laude, from the University of Connecticut, School of Law and made a Member of The Law Review in 1969. He was commissioned a Lieutenant in the U.S Army Signal Corps and stationed at Fort Monmouth, N.J., where he met his love of fifty-five years, Winifred S. Cleaver, a brand new Registered Nurse. Just as in the musical South Pacific, it was love at first sight "across a crowded room," which led to marriage a few months later.


After military service, Tom & Wynne relocated to Enfield, Glastonbury and eventually Old Wethersfield, Connecticut, where he was one of the Founders of the prestigious law firm of Updike, Kelly and Spellacy, P.C. Regarded as the preeminent real estate counsel in Connecticut, Tom played the leading role in the construction of major projects across the State, particularly with respect to the development of Regional Shopping Centers. He served as Government Affairs Chairman of the International Council of Shopping Centers.



Very active in the affairs of his adopted community, Tom served multiple terms as Town Attorney, President of the Wethersfield Historical Society and Founder and President of the Wethersfield Preservation Trust. He chaired the successful conversion of the old High School into the award-winning Keeney Memorial Cultural Center. Also deeply involved in the Greater Hartford cultural scene, Tom served as an Elector of the Wadsworth Atheneum, Chair of the Greater Hartford Chamber Orchestra and on many programs sponsored by The Greater Hartford Arts Council.


Tom and Wynne participated in the amazing rebirth of Old Wethersfield in the 1970s and 80s, restoring, among others, the 1774 Captain Josiah Buck Homestead, on the Wethersfield Cove, raising sons Tom and John, along with Wynne's Arabians, beloved dogs and assorted barn cats.


Tom DeMille sang God Bless America in front of a live audience at age 3 and became hopelessly hooked on all things theatrical! This fascination led to singing gigs with his brothers and numerous roles with community groups and in college musicals. His theatrical adventures were interrupted by forty years of practicing law which is very much like acting (except you have to write your own material).


From their summer home in New London, New Hampshire (the 1794 Josiah Brown House which they had restored over the years), Tom & Wynne had the privilege of working for decades with theatrical legend Norman Leger who, against all odds, had managed to keep the nationally known summer theater, the New London Barn Playhouse, alive as other theatres fell by the wayside one by one. Upon their retirement to New London in 2003, the DeMilles were able to play a more instrumental role in the successful effort to turn The Barn into a non-profit corporation.


The New London Barn Playhouse continued to thrive under Tom's direction. Money was raised, deficits were eliminated, Art Deco Seats were refurbished, air conditioning and many other physical improvements were added. But it is the area of artistic performance where the miracles really occurred. First with Carol Dunne and now under the artistic leadership of Keith Coughlin, the New London Barn Playhouse has become the acknowledged leading producer of musicals in the State of New Hampshire and was recently awarded the Winner of the Moss Hart Award for Professional Excellence throughout New England. All this, plus Tom got to play favorite old-guy character roles in over twenty plays at the Barn and the Newport Opera House. "We cannot underestimate the impact that Tom and Wynne's love and care of the New London Barn Playhouse has had on thousands of peoples' lives," says Dunne. "Tom's belief in and support of the Barnies was personal and limitless."


But through all his successes, the most important part of Tom's life was his family. The relationship with wife Wynne and children Tom and John was extremely close for his entire life. He was blessed to be able to see the birth of six grandchildren and experience with them a significant part of their lives. He was most happy to be able to spend many, many summers and holidays with all of them, giving them rides in his classic Model A, swimming or golfing with them. He would travel to South Carolina or Massachusetts to see his grandchildren's plays, sporting events, or family celebrations.


Besides Wynne, Tom leaves behind son Tom (Andrea) grandchildren Ethan, Cameron and Jason DeMille of Mount Pleasant, South Carolina; son John (Carolyn) and grandchildren Emma, Sarah and Alex DeMille of Medfield, Mass., Brother William DeMille (Ann) of Abington, and sisters Lois DeMille of Marlboro, Meg Whitehead (Craig) of Ashland, and Tom's sister-in-law Evelyn Smith-DeMille, wife of his late brother Jack. Tom's extended family includes beloved nieces, nephews, and cousins who have been an important part of his life. There will be a private Burial at the Family's convenience.


All are invited to a celebration of Tom's life to be held on March 18th at 12:00 pm at First Baptist Church in New London New Hampshire, followed by refreshments at the Lake Sunapee Country Club.