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Donna Tobias Obituary
Born in Los Angeles, Calif., May 22, 1952, Donna joined the U.S. Navy because of her love of the water. She holds the distinction of being the Navy's first female deep sea diver and a member of the Female Diver's Hall of Fame.
Donna was assigned to the U.S. Naval Submarine Base in Groton, where she taught sailors how to escape from a submarine using the escape training tank. She also worked in ports on naval vessels, took part in search and salvage operations in Long Island Sound and the Atlantic Ocean, and participated in the sinking of a World War II ship to construct an artificial reef in Chesapeake Bay. She worked in the hyperbaric chamber, which treats divers suffering embolisms, as well as people with carbon monoxide poisoning and gangrene.
Donna left the Navy in 1980 and earned a bachelor's degree in education, a master's degree in psychology, and became certified to teach special education. She taught at the Capitol Region Education Council in Hartford and later retired from her teaching position at New London High School.
In retirement, Donna volunteered as a handler and caretaker for elderly and special needs horses at Mitchell Farm Equine Retirement, Inc. in Salem, where a marble memorial will be permanently placed to honor her contribution.
She was a true renaissance woman with a passion for stone and wood carving, composing and performing music, carpentry, photography, nonfiction, the American Southwest, and all things related to animals, nature, and the sea.
She is survived by her mother, Marie Ferguson of Arkansas; brothers, Gary Tobias of Norwich and Doug Tobias of Morro Bay, Calif.; two nieces, Justine Tobias of Norwich and Jennifer Bossie of Berlin, Conn.; a nephew, Nathan Tobias of California and Nathan's newly born son, Colton.
She was predeceased by her father, Elmer Earle Tobias, to whom she was deeply endeared; and her best beloved companion and dog, Monty.
Donna's family will greet relatives and friends from 6 to 8 p.m. Friday, Oct. 8, at the Thomas L. Neilan & Sons Funeral Home, 12 Ocean Ave., New London. A very special memorial service will take place at 3 p.m. on Saturday, Oct. 23, at Waterford Beach, cross the bridge and follow signs on your left to the gathering. Please bring multiple beach chairs and/or blankets. Following the service there will be a potluck reception at All Souls Unitarian Universalist Congregation, 60 Huntington St., New London. In case of inclement weather, the memorial service will take place at 3 p.m. at All Souls.
In lieu of flowers, memorial donations in her memory may be directed to Mitchell Farm Equine Retirement, Inc., 300 East Haddam Road, Route 82, Salem CT 06420.
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Memories and Condolences
for Donna Tobias
Sponsored by Mare.
Anthony
February 4, 2025
Donna, I wish more than anything we got to meet in life, but your fight means something to a lot of people.
Kurt Hall
September 24, 2023
Still missing Donna and thinking of her
Meg
September 24, 2023
This world and that are one. You are with us always.
Ken Wilkinson DC2 DV
September 24, 2023
Deep Sea, Hoo Yah, RIP
Tara
September 24, 2023
It was told to me that the words of those who came before, in their wisdom will come to me in times of need. 13 years and I continue to think of you, your words and wisdom ~ Thank you ~
Regina Walsh
October 4, 2022
To Donna
from Gina
Twelve long years
since you´ve left.
Stupidly, I believed
you had the world by the tail
because of your intelligence
& beauty, & art, & music -
& all those who loved you so.
It wasn´t enough, though.
Depression is a sinister & persistent, & all too powerful
thief.
I hate that robber
who took you
twelve long years
ago.
Meg
September 27, 2022
You are as much a part of our lives as ever, dear friend. Just in this altered way.
Kurt Hall
September 25, 2022
As I said and all my previous messages Donna was the best Drive partner I ever had.
Even after all these years I still think of her Constantly And wish the best To all her friends and family
Kurt Hall PO3(DV)
Deborah Beebe
September 25, 2022
I think about you often and all the great times we had at NLHS! Miss you my friend
Ken
September 24, 2022
The all powerful Master Tender signaled 4-4-4
and Donna ascended to her final reward.
Rest in Peace,
from a former Navy Salvage Diver
Ken Wilkinson
Lynn Kilvington
March 2, 2021
I was touched by the story of your life. What an amazing trailblazer! Rest in peace, my sister in arms. Lynn Kilvington, 1975-1980 U.S. Army
Regina Walsh
September 25, 2020
Those who loved you have had ten years of loss without you. That is what I read in these posts, and what I just know.
You gave so much with your strength, and listening, and those dark eyes that took in so much, and your music and art was alive and beautiful.
I felt (and still feel) guilty and angry, Donna, for not being able to do more. On our long ride to Vermont that day you spoke of your family and those you love; but there were sentences incomplete and impalpable thoughts.
I think of you at times when I am kayaking or playing the guitar, and especially when I am counseling those with depression – I so hope you have found your serenity.
Always, Gina
Meg Fisher Fisher
September 24, 2020
You were with me today cutting the thick vines out of the pine tree so the tree could breathe better. "Choose the right tool," you say.
Sleeping on the porch to loon calls. Having a smoke on the dock at dusk. Off with Montman in your red kayak. Playing poker with the boys after supper. -- Love keeps you with us.
September 24, 2020
RIP my NLHS team mate. MrMatt
September 26, 2019
Her many wind chimes still hang in our birch tree, battered but still musical.
We could use her strength and wisdom at this hard time.
Having suffered so much herself, she was able to be fully present to the suffering of others.
May she keep my son in her spirit arms.
Deborah Beebe
September 26, 2019
Think of you often my friend!! Miss our talks!!♡♡♡
Kurt Hall
September 24, 2019
I had the privilege not only to serve with Donna but to ride back and forth from the Escape training tank for 18 months. The dictionary should have her picture beside the word professionalism, my entire career as a Navy diver I never had a more capable or trustworthy dive partner. I also had the privilege to attend several social events away from the military including concerts in Springfield and Hartford. I think about her and miss her often. As I said in my original post when I heard the awful news of her passing, all of us who knew her and loved her will always miss her.
Meg Fisher
September 22, 2017
Meg Fisher
September 22, 2017
Waterford Beach...one of those many summers.
Meg Fisher
September 21, 2017
School Teacher photo, Waterford High School, CT
Meg Fisher
September 21, 2017
At Women Divers Hall of Fame gathering.
Meg Fisher
September 21, 2017
Photo for Women Divers Hall of Fame article.
Meg Fisher
September 21, 2017
Donna working underwater.
Meg Fisher
September 21, 2017
Meg Fisher
September 21, 2017
Let's go to the beach!
Meg Fisher
September 21, 2017
September 1957...60 years ago!
Meg Fisher
September 21, 2017
Gary, Elmer with Doug, Donna
Meg Fisher
September 21, 2017
Reading with Donna, 1996, Old Saybrook CT
Meg Fisher
September 21, 2017
Old Saybrook CT
Meg Fisher
September 21, 2017
portrait from school, Waterford High
Meg Fisher
September 21, 2017
Meg Fisher
September 21, 2017
Trip to Venezuela
Meg Fisher
September 21, 2017
September 21, 2017
/Users/megfisher/Desktop/Scan 2017-9-21 0005 copy.jpg
With us strongly in spirit these past seven years.
September 21, 2017
At the Sunderland Diner, having a "Heavy Hauler" breakfast.
September 21, 2017
Francesca Rheannon
October 25, 2016
I met Donna through our mutual good friend Meg, whose beautiful home in western Mass was host to many a convivial dinner we shared.
At first, I thought Donna didn't like me. She was quite reserved and I, in contrast, had a tendency to hold forth at the dinner table.
I was a massage therapist and one day Meg gave Donna one of my massages. The language of the body breaks down barriers and after that time, Donna and I were friends. Her friendship was a gift.
I was always struck by the deep attention that she paid to people. Whether children or grownups, she listened deeply, thought deeply and responded with absolute authenticity.
I wonder if her deep attention to the world is one factor in the despair that afflicted her. I think one has to pile on layers of indifference to reality to survive our terribly sick society. That was something Donna could not do. And the world is worse off without her. She is sorely missed.
Freddie Ortiz
October 7, 2016
Wow:( just looking up my favorite teacher ever, just to see how she's doing, that I might tell her how she got me through a very hard part of my life.As a rebellious kid I had many fights in school after gettin put in remedeal classes I found her in science.she taught me so much from art to stones,had me look at a lead through a microscope showed me a tiny world where the troubles of our space don't exist.where life just keeps going, I trully loved her.I'm a tattoo artist because of the butterfly on her wrist, I slipped school one day and went to the beach to commit suicide, didn't know how to swim and just wanted to wade out and fade away man..she was there with her dog, jumped in saved me and got me something to eat.rockin out in her truck she helped me understand how good life was, man I wish I got the chance to thank her, struggling with depression still, I think back to the tiny leaf, Donna I'm so sorry you were sad, and that you didn't teach me how to write...geez it's like a big run off sentence.I'll never forget you or the secret.damit, there had better be an after so I can laugh with you again,Your student Freddie.
Judith Rosenberg
August 23, 2016
Yes , six years and the sadness ands loss are still present
Meg Fisher
August 3, 2016
Coming up on SIX years...not five. Wow.
Meg Fisher
August 3, 2016
Coming up on five years, my friend. Your many wind chimes singing still in the branches by our front door as you will always in our hearts.
Joy Scheffer
August 2, 2016
Dear family and friends of Donna Tobias, please accept my belated condolences. I am so very sad to hear of her passing. I hope that time has replaced your sadness with memories of your most wonderful times together.
Joy Scheffer
August 2, 2016
Tobias, It seems like only yesterday we had the world by the tail. If not for you, I never would have attempted dive school. You touched so many lives along the way. I always thought we would meet again - still not so certain we won't, rainbow bridge and all. I can hear your smile old friend, thank you. You were the pebble that caused the ripple that became a tidal wave. I will go on missing you.
Joy Scheffer
HT2(DV) USN 1975-79
Paul Johnson
March 4, 2016
She taught me how to escape from Sub training in Groton CT in 1978...RIP Donna and thanks for the great time.
D.H. Mickelson
March 4, 2016
I never knew Donna, but as a recently retired Naval aircrewman wish I could have thanked her for paving the way for me and my sisters in the Navy.
My deepest condolences to her friends and family.
Mike Hughes
April 29, 2015
In the summer of 1974, I was at Harbor Clearance Unit-2, Little Creek, VA, for two weeks of training with my HCU-2 Reserve Unit from Portsmouth, NH. Salty Bos'n Rider was talking to my brother and me one morning and pointed out a ship fitter who was welding on deck. "That young woman is the Navy's first female hardhat diver and one of the best welders we have", he announced proudly. I remember the way she conducted herself and thought, "that is an impressive person". She was obviously special and I will never forget her or that scene.
T.L. Willett
February 16, 2015
While searching for images about deep-sea rescues, I came across photos of a petite woman in diving gear; Donna Tobias. I am surprised she isn't better known. In all my researching, I never heard her name--not even a whisper of the first female USN diver.
Selfishly, I wish we had met, so I could learn about her experiences, in water and out, and let the world know about her contributions to the world. Fair winds and calm seas Ms. Tobias
HTCM (dv1) Del Strode
October 2, 2014
I was the Master Chief and Donna's division officer who took her for the indoctrination dive. I recognized her ability, determination and excellent work ethics. Donna was truly one of a kind. Belated condolences to her family.
Steve Watson
August 6, 2014
Thinking of you fondly today.
Missed you
Tara
August 5, 2014
I looked for you today, an old wise friend who I met along my way. A strong yet gentle soul whose love knew no bounds. They told me you had passed, and I took a moment in an attempt to understand. I will look for you each day. I will breathe a breath of love. For your wisdom, laughs and love shared are at the depth of those things that keep me going sometimes.
I stopped by, to look for you today... I am sorry I missed you.
Painting by Donna
August 15, 2013
Room with Red Ladder
August 15, 2013
Mitchell Farm, Donna far left
August 15, 2013
Carving by Donna
August 15, 2013
Carving by Donna
August 15, 2013
Zip leaves the Navy, 1980
August 15, 2013
Donna, front center
August 15, 2013
Donna & Galen, Waterford Beach 2010
August 15, 2013
Carving by Donna
August 15, 2013
Donna and Gary, ca. 1978
August 15, 2013
August 15, 2013
Emilio Soria
August 14, 2013
Donna,
You will always be in our hearts.
From a Deep Sea Brother.
Donna Tobias and John Crowe, circa March, 1975
John Crowe
July 13, 2013
Anthony Gesuele
March 13, 2012
I was in Ms. Tobias's first class of teaching in 1985 Penney High School. She was a great teacher cared very much about all her students and left a very positive impression on me. Donna you were one of my favorite teachers that I had in K-12 education. I am so relieved that I called you to congratulate you on making the Woman's Deep Diving H.O.F. It was so nice to hear your voice after so many years. It saddens me to hear of your struggles and painful end. Rest in piece. Anthony J. Gesuele (EM1 (SW) USNRet Gesuele
Vickie Trujillo
July 25, 2011
Donna was my cousin and I was very sad to hear the news about her death.The last time I saw her was quite a few years ago at a family get together with her dad and brothers.I remember the fun times we had playing as a child.My dad told her one day she would be Miss America.I,m so sad.Vickie Trujillo Lancaster Ca.
Jones Cheryl
May 8, 2011
How amazing that I should find this page. How deeply sorry I am to know of Donna's passing. She (and Gary and Doug) belongs to a wonderful family and as often happens, has been out of touch, but never away from my thoughts and heart. Her mom and mine were cousins close in age, raised like sisters, really. Our childhood days are sorely missed. Donna, I'm so proud of you. How I wish we could have connected again. How very ironic that our love for horses endures and we never "grew out of them". Hope you are at peace. Love you so very much. Always, Cheryl
Tobias' 2d Class Diving School Graduation picture, Mar 1975
Chris West
March 11, 2011
Chris West HMCS (DV) USNRet
March 11, 2011
I first met Donna when she appeared for an interview, requesting to become the first woman to enter 2d class diving school. After an hour of discouragement and promises to make her life miserable, she left with my endorsement and approval, and the certainty that if anyone in her class made it through, she would be that one.
She did not let me down, and our friendship endured for 36 years. It is a colder world with her absence, but she left a light that continues to shine.
ENCM(MDV) Richard Jones
November 5, 2010
Saddened to see the tragic end of such a special lady. Stationed with her at the Escape Training Tank....spent many hours in the water with her in support of our country. Professional is an understatement of her service. Just saw the PRC (portabal recompression chamber) we both conducted test trials in. It brought back such fond memories... I was saddened to have my search for her come to this conclusion. I am glad I was able to know and serve with her.
Beloved Fino
November 3, 2010
Linda Rambow
October 23, 2010
I worked with Donna at NLHS and always found her to be full of "creative and unusual" ideas! She was a very interesting woman and loved her students. I have many fond memories to remember her.
Linda Rambow
Groton Long Point, CT
Kathleen
October 11, 2010
I just heard the news today about Donna's passing. I know how she struggled so valiantly with her illness, it is truly upsetting to me to hear that she could no longer carry the burden of the pain within. I'm not sure she even knew how many lives she touched through her kindness - I hope she is free at last from the pain. Thoughts are with you today.
Renee Frate
October 11, 2010
I will miss you. I think back on our brief but amazing friendship,spending time with the horses and appreciating your kind and gentle spirt towards them, especially my guy Kashmir. I smile to think you will find him, and you will slip him a treat or two, and together ride the wind free from wordly sadness and pain.
Donna Klucewicz
October 10, 2010
We share the same name, and that is how we met. Although we were not close friends, whenever our paths did cross, I felt fortunate to know her. Donna's strength and conviction were always evident. Her dying is a great loss. I hope that memories of the time she lived will lighten the pain we all feel at her passing.
Donna and brother Gary, 1977
Meg Fisher
October 10, 2010
Early wood-carving: diver reaching for a shell
Meg Fisher
October 10, 2010
Donna in Hat, 1977
Meg Fisher
October 10, 2010
At Watch Hill, 1979
Meg Fisher
October 10, 2010
Donna in her best mucking cloths.
Steve Watson
October 9, 2010
My dear friend, I miss you.
I miss our Wednesdays and Fridays leading horses, mucking stalls, talking about all manner of things like the Crazy Horse Memorial or teaching or art. So much I miss.
I love you always.
October 6, 2010
To everyone who has written in this book,
Thank you. I am one of many people who have known and loved Donna for many years, in my case 35, and I cannot tell you how gratifying it is to hear now via this guest book from such a variety of people. Some who've never met her but are moved by the fact that we chose, in her straight-talking and ground-breaking spirit, to tell the truth about the cause and manner of her death. Some who only met her once or twice, but were struck by that encounter. Some from the Navy, the high school: teachers and students, the band she was in, her beach friends,the horse farm, fellow dog-walkers...
Thank you for sharing your memories and feelings with us all.
Please know that in this last year of her life she had an amazing team of about ten friends who did their very active best to keep her with us. She was much treasured in life and clearly remains much treasured. As we prepare to gather in these next weeks to remember her life, it is very moving and gratifying to read all of these tributes.
Her family and extended "family" of many friends thank you all most warmly,
Meg Fisher-Krugman
Darlene Iskra
October 6, 2010
I was saddened to hear of Donna's passing. Although I never met her, her legacy as the first woman deep sea diver has inspired many who followed. May God bless and keep her.
Steve Tobias
October 5, 2010
Donna will be missed much. Though we have been seperated by space and time, we have a very close family and we all share your grief. We learned about Donna at the Sue Tobias Family Reunion in Southern California. I had searched the internet to make contact with you the week before. I deeply regret not speaking to her one more time.
Regina Walsh
October 5, 2010
Twenty-some years ago, through a mutual friend, I was lucky to have met Donna. The world lost an intensely strong and beautiful woman when she was finally defeated by her opponent, depression.
My sincere thoughts and prayers go out to her family, extended family and friends.
Anonymous
October 5, 2010
I am sorry for your loss. Depression is a horrible "disease" that those who have never experienced cannot understand. I also suffer from depression and I pray that Donna is at peace now. May God Bless Her!
Laurie Gorham
October 4, 2010
I remember clearly a day 15 years ago or so when i ran into Donna at Waterford Beach. I had met her the year before through a mutual friend. She remembered me and we sat on the sand and chatted while Monty played.
It was one of only two conversations I had with her -- but Donna was that rare sort of person who is unforgettable! I remember asking about her work. I knew she worked at NLHS and was it as awful as some made it out to be. She laughed and said kids are kids, everywhere, no matter what town they live in. She talked about how her students wanted to know if she was married or dating and other stuff like that, and how she enjoyed their questions and (mostly) not answering them!
She told me she walked on the beach every day and if I spent any time there we would surely run into each other again. I remember that with her brown and weathered skin she looked like she belonged on the beach, as if she lived in a cottage just over the dunes. Although I never saw her again, i know she is there now, throwing the toy for Monty.
Thank you to the family for being honest about Donna's illness. Donna was special and the community suffers this loss along with her family and friends. Perhaps with greater public awareness, better treatments will some day be developed, and we will stop losing people to this terrible terrible disease.
Brian Nixon
October 3, 2010
Ms. Tobias,
Having you as my teacher for two years was truly a gift, I couldn’t have asked for a more humane person. You always found time for me and other students both inside and outside of the classroom. Seeing you at my graduation showed how much you cared. You taught me to follow my dreams and that the sky’s the limit. This world would be a better place if there were more people like you.
Brian Nixon
NLHS class of 2005
Beebs
October 3, 2010
Hey "T"
What a wonderful person and beautiful human being. So many moments were shared in the classroom at NLHS. So many things I have learned from you and have taken with me. You touched so many lives and helped so many students. Saying you will be sadly missed doesn't really cover all you leave behind. Your suffering is now over and you can now be at peace. You can now be with your Dad and Monty the two most precious loves of your life. You have been taken away but those memories, ah so many wonderful memories, will stay with me forever. Thank you, "T" for all wisdom. I will miss you dearly.
Douglas Craig
October 2, 2010
May your hearts soon be filled with wonderful memories of joyful times together as you celebrate a life well lived.
Benjamin Greiner
October 2, 2010
Though I was never a student of Donna's, it was hard to miss what a strong and independent soul she was during my time as a student at NLHS. My thoughts go out to her family, friends, and all others who will miss her,.
Benjamin Greiner
NLHS Class of 1991
Andy Adams
October 2, 2010
Donna Was 2 when I went through Salvage diving in bayonne N.J.along wiyh Carl Breashear.It always touches me when I head of any of the diving famjly passes
Andrew Adams USN Ret.
SCPO. (Master Diver)
WW2 Korean. Vietnam Vet.
Anonymous~
October 2, 2010
For those lucky people who knew Donna, a woman who spoke her truth, strong in her convictions, intelligent and compassionate to human's and animals.The passing due to depression, is an invisible crippling enemy, of unknown depth to many,that Donna fought hard with courage for so long. Her pain and anguish,lived each day, has now been replaced with freedom, peace and love of those you hold dear in Heaven. Thank you Donna, you are in my heart and may God hold you in the palms of His hands.
Andrea (Vang) Stannard
October 2, 2010
Donna, Thank you for reaching in and pulling me up out of my darkness, being there, sharing yourself, especially your love of music with me...Loose Ends andTobyVang...and, more recently, your love of horses....Mitchell Farm. Your spirit lives on in all that surrounds me, nature, music, connection with others. My sincere condolences to your immediate and extended family.
Alane Cook
October 2, 2010
I am so sorry for your loss. Donna had a way of genuinely making one feel as though she'd known them for a long time with her soulful presence. Her sincere passions are what the people around her will always remember. I feel blessed that our paths had crossed for a short time. May God & St.Jude bless her and her family at this difficult time.
Alane Cook
October 1, 2010
To Donna,
Looking back there are so many times I spent with you that will last with me forever. That seem more vivid and of course still far away since you died. I've known you my whole life, eighteen years tomorrow. Each and every good moment I had will last within me whether I remember it or not. Just thinking about you reminds me that you gave me something in life that I couldn't have had without you. Being able to experience and connect with people is one of the great reasons why life is so valuable. Today is October first. The last time I saw you you were walking slower than usual to our car before we left your house. As sad as this memory is, it is now covered like a beautiful clear ocean with all the good memories I had, like going fishing with you near my house in Connecticut, hanging out with you on the beach plus at your house, and of course all the times you came up to our house in Sunderland MA. I want everyone who reads this to know since a lot of people who loved you will read this, that when you look at something like a beautiful flower, look even deeper into it and there is the happiness like sun reflecting on its petals that I had with you.
Peace and love,
Galey-Waley
Galen T. Krugman
Sunderland, MA
October 1, 2010
My condolences to all of Donna's family. Gary and i were classmates and Donna was our instructor.
Vic Marolda 79-05
Kurt Hall
October 1, 2010
All who knew and loved her will miss her.
BM3 (DV) K C Hall Hoo Yah Phoenix AZ and Griswold CT
Rebecca Amanti
October 1, 2010
I worked with Donna at NLHS for many years. I was always impressed by her compassion and deep level of caring that she demonstrated for her students and other staff members. My hope for Donna is that she rest in peace. My condolences to her family.
Stephen Johnson
October 1, 2010
I remember "Diver" Tobias from dive school. She was one of the Subase Dive School instructors for my class 7802. I recall her being energetic, smart and tough as we, her students,were informed by the Master Diver that it was an "insult" for a diver to not "get wet" on their birthday and that Diver Tobias was celebrating a birthday. It took 4 of us to capture, carry and launch her from the pier into the Thames. It wasn't easy as she took 2 of us with her! Tough and smart! Wishing you peace as you celebrate her life.
October 1, 2010
So very sorry to hear of your loss. I hope you will find strenght in knowing that Donna is at peace and remembered so fondly by all that knew her.
J.A.Matthews NLHS Retired
Anonymous
October 1, 2010
To The Family:
You had the courage to be truthful about your loved one's passing. Perhaps your truth will set other's free or to realize that depression too can take a life.
Thank you.
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