Charleen Behrschmidt

1928 - 2016

Charleen Behrschmidt

Thousand Oaks, CA

Charleen Lucille Behrschmidt (nee Zeman) was born in Chicago, Illinois on October 7, 1928 and died on December 19, 2016. Mom was preceded in death by her parents, Joseph F. Zeman and Lucille M. Hansen, her brother, Joseph F. Zeman, Jr. and her husband, Raymond J. Behrschmidt. She is survived by her daughters Lucille Chaney and Linette Angelastro, and her grandsons Javier Chaney, Charles Angelastro and Blake Angelastro.

Charleen was a smart, vivacious, funny, spirited, witty lady! Mom's early life was hard, as her parents were relatively young and poor, and her brother had a serious illness. They had little, but the early deprivation and difficulties in her life taught Mom deep compassion for her fellow man and an understanding of the tremendous difficulties of poverty which carried over throughout her whole life and which she instilled into her children and grandchildren. Mom was a lifelong defender of the underdog and gave her time and money to many causes: the Southern Poverty Law Center, The American Civil Liberties Union, Amnesty International, and many, many more. She was also involved for many years in the local American Association of University Women, and enjoyed that group immensely.

Mom graduated from Lucy Flower Vocational High School in Chicago where she was taught to be an executive secretary, learning skills such as shorthand dictation, filing, typing (80 words a minute!), letter composition, and important? skills such as making sure your stocking seams were straight, having perfect posture, and making sure that when you had to pick something up, you bent your knees, rather than bending at the waist. After graduation, Mom lived in a girl's rooming house where she made lifelong friends with other young women just starting out on their own.

Mom went to Wright Junior College in Chicago and through a friend went on a blind date with Dad. He was almost silent all night, then at the end of the date, was "all hands!" So, she didn't date him again. About a year later, the friend encouraged her to give him another chance, and having nothing to do, she went. This time, he apparently learned his lesson and spoke more and used his hands less, and love bloomed. They were married in January 1950 and moved to New York City for Dad's job. Mom attended and graduated from Queen's College with a degree in Anthropology, with Honors. She worked with Margaret Mead and did some theater where a new love of hers was born, acting. She was the first in her family to graduate from college, a Phi Beta Kappa.

Meanwhile, Dad, that dirty dog, had misled Mom about how often they would go out to dinner, whether they could afford to go to the movies, even whether he wanted kids! So Mom filed for divorce and went back home to Chicago. They were divorced in 1956. The next years were difficult for Mom. She described a work atmosphere of discrimination towards her as a divorced woman and an assumption that she was "fast" which she was NOT. Mom struggled along working in a man's world and did date and have some fun, but never quite found the right new man. During Dad's trip to Europe in 1956-1957 he sent her hundreds of postcards, which aggravated her that her ex-husband was having fun in Europe and there she was in dreary Chicago. But, she kept the postcards! In 1958 she and her mother took a grand tour of Europe of their own and spent time with their relatives in Switzerland.



When Dad was back in Chicago, he called Mom up and asked her out. She told him no, but said they could just get back together again, so they did. They got married again in 1960 and were married until Dad's death earlier this year. Despite their differences, they truly loved each other deeply. Mom was a great wife: she followed Dad around the world so that he could work in a job he loved, cooked the boring food he liked, and generally deferred to his position on most things, always after a spirited "discussion" on the merits.

Mom always wanted children and was ecstatic when their daughters were born healthy and beautiful. Lucille was born in England after they moved there from Alaska, and Linette was born while they lived in the Marshall Islands. While her daughters were young, Mom was a room mother, PTA President and involved in clubs as well. Over the years the family lived in New York, Camarillo, New Jersey and briefly in Chicago. She was a great mother: she gave practical advice and help, while always telling you the truth, with love.

Mom was a naturally gifted actress and speaker. She was involved in Community Theater in most of the communities she lived in and had many great roles, even singing roles. In her older years, she loved to lector at church and read stories to her grandchildren. She was funny and quick witted. She was a gifted writer and wrote for the newspaper on Kwajalein in the Marshall Islands and for many newsletters for her various clubs and for the church. Mom was a good friend, neighbor and coworker. She gave of herself to everyone she met. She truly saw the best in people, and brought it out with her genuine nature and her belief in them. Mom believed strongly in public education. She volunteered as a tutor at her children's schools, even though her kids didn't need tutors. She was always helping to give those less fortunate a hand up-- she was a serial volunteer. Mom had a strong belief in God and made sure her husband and children went to church, even if you had been out late the night before! Mom was great at crossword puzzles and word games and could usually beat you at Scrabble by using one letter to form an obscure two letter word that tied two words together on a triple word score! Together she and Dad completed the crossword puzzles for years, as they had complementary knowledge areas. Mom was a feminist before feminism really existed. She suffered from what many women of her era suffered from: natural talent, intelligence, enthusiasm and skill stifled and limited by the standards of what women were "allowed" to do. Had Mom been born today, we would all have to stand back and get out of her way! She touched the hearts and minds of many people who are better for having known her. Her philosophy is summed up in her response to finding out that she had inoperable cancer: "well, you have to die of something, and I've had a wonderful life!" Thanks to the caregivers at Belmont Village Thousand Oaks, and to Brenda Ramirez. Her memorial service is being held at Mount Cross Lutheran Church in Camarillo on December 27 at 11:00 a.m.