Benjamin Helmke

03/28/1930 - 07/27/2025

Benjamin Lee Helmke died on July 27, 2025, at the age of 95.
He was born on March 28, 1930, in Iuka, Kansas, to George and Rosa Helmke, a brother added to the constellation of four older sisters-Dorothy, Florence, Flossie, and Ruth. His little sister, Keo, joined the family two years later.
Ben's parents instilled in him values of hard work, stewardship of the land, and collective responsibility, ideals affirmed by the agricultural community in which he was immersed. While he never pursued farming as a career, Ben faced life's challenges with a farmer's resourcefulness and adaptability.
He served in the U.S. Army, and was stationed in Japan during the Korean War. He took on the roles of chaplain's assistant and organist in the U.S. Army Chaplain Corps.
He majored in history at Hastings College in Nebraska. The decision to become a minister led him to study theology at McCormick Seminary in Chicago, from 1956 to 1960. At the same time, he worked as a church organist and choir director at several Chicago churches. Fourth Presbyterian was the center of his church life. It is also where he met his wife Paulena "Polly" Cleland. They were married in 1960.
In the period between 1960 and 1968, Ben served as minister at two different Presbyterian churches, in Indianapolis and then in Homer, Michigan. The position in Michigan was a particularly good fit. His theological knowledge, musical skills, small-town background-including his talent for talking to just about anybody and his community engagement-were exactly what Homer needed at the time.
Eventually, Ben came to see that counseling was not only essential to being a pastor but also his genuine calling. Yet, this was where he had the least training. He therefore decided to pursue a master's degree in social work at the University of Michigan. When he arrived, he discovered that family counseling was not a part of the curriculum. He managed to convince the faculty of its importance, and so it was added. While at UM, he also worked as part-time clergy at First Presbyterian Church of Ann Arbor.
As Ben and Polly raised their children, George, Carolyn, and Scott, they made many lifelong friends at "First Pres" and enjoyed participating in church services, the choir, various committees, and in the weekly coffee hour.
Ann Arbor was a hotbed of activism in the 1960s and '70s. Ben and Polly were deeply committed to peace, civil rights, and gender equality. Their social engagement ranged from war protests, like a bomb crater dig, to involvement in the start-up of Ann Arbor's Peace Neighborhood Center, whose mission was, and still is, to support individuals and families dealing with challenging social and financial issues.
Upon graduation from UM, Ben held positions at Ypsilanti State Hospital near Saline, Michigan, and Six Area Coalition in Lincoln Park, Michigan.
But his ultimate career mission was founding Tamson Center in 1975, a social work services business in Taylor, Michigan, devoted to individual and family counseling. A primary area of focus was auto workers and their families who were dealing with changes in the auto industry in the 1970s. Countless people and their families benefited from Tamson Center's programs.
After retiring from social work, Ben pursued acting and developed a one-man show about Mark Twain, which he performed for several years, including a week at the Performance Network in Ann Arbor. This led him to more acting roles in local theater in both Michigan and Colorado, among them the part of Scrooge in Dickens' A Christmas Carol.
Following a lifetime of internal struggle, Ben came out as gay to his family in 1982. He and Polly did not divorce and were able to resolve many of their issues as a couple before she died in 1984 of metastatic breast cancer.
In 1989, he met Ernest Leonard "Len" Quenon and enjoyed a fun and adventurous partnership that lasted until Len's passing in 2014. With Len came seven loving and boisterous kids and many, many grandchildren who enjoyed holidays with Ben's kids in Colorado: The very definition of the modern blended family.
He was active as a parent-in scouting, music, hobbies, the family cottage, trips all over the United States, and practical training via home improvement projects. His children and their families ended up in many places, and he traveled extensively to be an engaged part of their lives wherever they were.
Ben is remembered as a person who lived for a meaningful conversation. It was the basis of his career and why he meant so much to so many people, both professionally and in his private life. He didn't just "take the time" to talk with people; he really enjoyed each opportunity to share thoughts and experiences with others.
Ben is survived by his partner, Harry Marsden; George (Tine Asmundsen), Carolyn (Robert Wilkins), and Scott; his granddaughter, Pauline Asmundsen Helmke; a multitude of nieces, nephews, and even more grands; and many close friends.
If you would like to donate in Ben's honor, please consider Peace Neighborhood Center in Ann Arbor.
Peace Neighborhood Center's mission is to provide programs for children, families, and individuals who are affected by social and economic problems. Peace helps people discover options, enhance skills, and make choices that lead to self-sufficiency and positive community involvement.
The family will honor Ben at the First Presbyterian Church of Ann Arbor, MI, on March 28, 2026.