Mary Stender

On the morning of Dec. 30, 2015, Mary Stender passed away peacefully surrounded by her husband and children at the Madonna Rehabilitation Hospital in Bellevue, Neb. She was 72 years old.
Mary Jean and her twin brother Lary Dean were born in Creston, Union County, on Dec. 31, 1942. Lary was born first, making Mary the youngest of five children and only daughter of William J. and Grace May (Coleman) Kosar.
The Kosars made their home in Massena, Cass County. At the age of 15, through the influence of her friends Beth Waters and Mary Ann Mills, Mary was baptized and joined the Catholic Church on May 10, 1958 at St. Patrick Church in Massena. Charlotte Langfelt was her godmother. She was confirmed the next day. She attended elementary school in Massena, and attended the Cumberland & Massena Community High School freshman through junior year. Mary spent her senior year at the Mount St. Scholastica Academy in Atchison, Kan., and graduated with the class of 1961.
She briefly entered the novitiate of the Benedictine Sisters in Atchison, but decided that the religious life was not her ultimate vocation. She moved back to Massena, and started dating Arlo Stender. Mary and Arlo were married on April 28, 1962 at St. Patrick Catholic Church. After their honeymoon at the Bridal Cave in Camdenton, Mo., Mary and Arlo set up housekeeping in rural Union Township east of Cumberland.
Mary and Arlo were the parents of three children: Julie Anne, born in 1963; Jennifer Kaye, born in 1968; and John Charles, born in 1978. The Stenders reared their family on their farm in Union Township for 31 years until they moved with John to the "Pettinger Place," also in rural Union Township. In 1996, Mary realized her childhood dream and moved into their home across the street from their church in Massena.
Being a grandmother was the joy of Mary's life. She was a regular babysitter, a generous gift-giver, and loved her grandchildren beyond measure. She particularly enjoyed cooking for the boys and finding a treasure at a garage sale with the girls. In later years, Mary was proud to be a great-grandmother (grand-ma-ma) as well.
Mary's most defining characteristics included her outgoing personality, generous heart, and ability to visit with everyone she met. She maintained and nurtured relationships that she made as a child and continued making friends until the day that she died. From coffees and camping, antiquing and junking, to crafting and sewing, she loved to have fun with her friends and family.
Mary was a member of St. Patrick Catholic Church, the Altar and Rosary Society, the Massena Lion's Club, Heartland R.S. Prussia Collectors Association, and served as Vice President of the Massena Centennial Celebration in 1986.
She was preceded in death by her parents; stepfather, Charles Dudley Dougherty; father-in-law and mother-in-law, John and Dorothy Stender; a brother, Billy Kosar, who died in infancy; two stepsisters, Joan Erickson and Jean Eden; two brothers-in-law, Ernest Stender and Dennis Oathoudt; and a step-nephew, Brett Eden.
She is survived by her husband, Arlo Stender; her children and their husbands, Julie and Curt Symonds and Jennifer and John Arp, all of Massena and John and Tom Stender-Custer of San Diego, Calif.; her grandchildren and their spouses, Laura and Tristan Hapes and Luke and Emily Symonds, all of rural Massena, Ryan Arp of Changzhou, China, Angela Arp of Des Moines, and Ethan Arp at home; and two great-grandchildren, Isaac and Dominic Hapes at home. She is also survived by three brothers and their wives, Joe and Lyne Kosar, John and Mary Ann Kosar, and Lary and Pauline Kosar; her Stender sisters-in-law and brother-in-law, Shirley Stender, Kent and Julie Stender, and Karen Oathoudt; a first-cousin and husband, Maxine and Mike Murray; and many other cousins, nieces, nephews, and friends.

MASS OF CHRISTIAN BURIAL
Saturday ~ Jan. 2 ~ 10 a.m.
St. Patrick Catholic Church
Massena

OFFICIATING
Priest ~ The Rev. Father Ken Gross
Deacon ~ The Rev. Mr. Fred Cornwell

ASSISTING
Ministers of Communion ~ Shirley Hosfelt ~ Charlotte Groves
Kathy Kerkmann ~ Judy Wolford
Intercessors ~ Kaeanna Wood ~ Ali Wood
Lectors ~ Laura Hapes ~ Tom Stender-Custer ~ Angela Arp
Ryan's Tribute ~ Luke Symonds
Eulogy ~ John Stender-Custer
Servers ~ Nathan Hensley ~ Jacob Holste
Gift Bearers ~ Ethan Arp ~ Isaac Hapes ~ Dominic Hapes

MUSIC
Organist ~ Jim Casey
Vocalists ~ Diana Kordick & Mike Amdor
"Here I Am Lord" "Only A Shadow"
"One Bread, One Body" "Amazing Grace"
"Song of Farewell" "On Eagles Wings"

PALLBEARERS
Curt Symonds ~ John Arp ~ Tom Stender-Custer
Laura Hapes ~ Tristan Hapes ~ Ryan Arp
Luke Symonds ~ Emily Symonds ~ Angela Arp
Ethan Arp ~ Mike Kosar

FLORAL COMMITTEE
Mary's Coffee Crew

INTERMENT
Victoria Township Cemetery
Massena

The Steen Funeral Home in Massena was in charge of the professional arrangements. Online condolences may be left to the family at www.steenfunerals.com.