Mr. and Mrs. Harold Parker

They're together still

Inseparable Lee couple, both 85, die a day apart

By Derek Gentile
Berkshire Eagle Staff

LEE -- Harold Parker told a reporter several years ago that he didn't really like to be apart from his wife, Edith, for too long.

"She doesn't like it, either," he confided.

That was as true Thursday as it has been for the past 63 years.

Harold F. Parker, 85, died Thursday night at the Laurel Lake Center. The day before, his wife and best friend, Edith Cousins Parker, also 85, passed away.

The funeral will be tomorrow at 3 at Hope Advent Christian Church in Lenox. Burial will be private. Visiting hours at the Kelly Funeral Home in Lee will be today from 3-6.

"They were a single unit," said their son, David Parker. "Together, they were able to deal with anything."

In 1962, a failed back operation paralyzed Edith from the waist down. For the next 42 years, Harold was, in effect, his wife's legs: Every day, he got her out of bed and into a wheelchair, and helped her navigate the bumps in the road.

But Edith pulled her weight, too. She was her husband's adviser, his sounding board, his friend. Every day, she helped him navigate the bumps in life.

"One of our secrets," said Edith a few years ago, "is that we never get down at the same time."

"You have to decide right at the beginning that you want to make a go of it," said Harold to a reporter, when asked about the secret of the strength of their relationship. "If you do that, it will work."

The beginning of their relationship would have made a good movie by one of those old-time Hollywood studios, like RKO Radio Pictures.

Harold and Edith were married on Valentine's Day 1942 in Springfield. Two months earlier, the Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbor. Sooner or later, both knew Harold would be headed for England and the European Theater of Operations.

There was no talk of Edith "waiting" until Harold returned from overseas, which was a common practice at the time. Both knew they had made the right choice for a partner.

"A lot of people," said Edith a few years ago, "held off getting married before the war. You never knew what was going to happen. But we did the opposite. We wanted to be together in the time we had left."

Harold was what people in the 1940s might have called a "Whiz Kid." He would eventually register two patents in his name, and during World War II, he was a radar officer with the Army Air Force. According to David Parker, Harold Parker was cited by the government for his work in adapting radar to bomb enemy positions.

The Parker nuptials on Feb. 14, 1942, occurred during a driving snowstorm that saw only Harold, Edith and a few of Harold's American International College buddies attend the wedding.

The next day was beautiful and sunny. So the newly minted Mr. and Mrs. Harold Parker took a train from Springfield to New York City for their honeymoon. Harold had a pretty good day mapped out. You know, see the sights, walk around town, dinner at a fancy restaurant.

Edith, born and raised in Maine, wanted to eat lunch at an automat and ride the elevated train.

So they ate lunch at an automat and rode the elevated train. It wasn't really about seeing the sights that day. It was more about being together.

After that, Harold and Edith lived very good lives, despite Edith's disability. They had four children, who in turn gave them 10 grandchildren and who in turn produced several great-grandchildren.

They were prominent members in the Lee community for many years. Edith was a town representative and a member of the Massachusetts Disability Commission. Harold, also a member of the Disability Commission, was the founder and first president of the Lee Parent Teachers Association, a former Sunday school teacher and a member of the Lee High School Building Committee.

"They were very active in the community," said their youngest daughter, Florence "Flossie" Peltier. "You go down Main Street now, and a lot of the storefronts are [handicapped] accessible, because they fought for that."

For Harold and Edith, the end was the end: Not wonderful, but as good as could be expected. Over the past few years, both had begun failing. Harold could no longer care for Edith, and Edith could no longer help Harold. They were both moved to the Laurel Lake Center a few months ago. There were infections and internal miseries for both Harold and Edith, but what was really happening was that they were just kind of running down, their life's internal clocks ticking slower and slower.

Sometimes over the past few weeks, recalled David Parker's wife Sandy, they would be in side-by-side beds. Harold would reach out his hand. Edith would reach out hers to take it. And there they would be, together still.

Harold F. Parker was born in East Lee on June 2, 1919, son of Raymond and Rena Merrell Parker. He graduated in 1937 from Lee High School and in 1942 from American International College. He worked at GE in Pittsfield for many years, retiring in 1981.

Edith M. Parker was born in Old Town, Maine, on March 30, 1919, daughter of Edgar and Arline Brown Cousins. She graduated from Old Town High School in 1937, from the University of Maine at Orono and from nursing school in Bangor. She moved to Lee in 1945 and was employed as a private-duty nurse.

The Parkers were active members of First Congregrational Church in Lee and also attended Hope Advent Church in Lenox. They enjoyed spending summers at Southwest Harbor in Maine and were members of their respective alumni associations and the Greylock Mineral Club. Mrs. Parker also was a member of the Daughters of the American Revolution.

They leave a son, David M. Parker of Lee; three daughters, Catharine C. Pepe of Virginia Beach, Va., Valerie J. Morgan of Cotuit and Florence E. "Flossie" Carpino-Peltier of West Springfield; Mrs. Parker's brothers, Richard Cousins of Old Town, Herbert Cousins of Sarasota, Fla., and Edgar Cousins of Fort Pierce, Fla., and her sister, Florence Worster-Weeks of Topsham; 10 grandchildren, and seven great-grandchildren.

Memorial donations to the Lee School District's Special Education Department Disability Fund can be made in care of Kelly Funeral Home, 3 Main St., Lee MA 01238.

Derek Gentile can be reached at dgentile@berkshireeagle.com or (413) 528-3660.

FUNERAL NOTICE -- The funeral for Mr. and Mrs. Harold Parker of Lee will be held Sunday afternoon at 3 at Hope Advent Christian Church in Lenox. Burial will be private. Visiting hours at KELLY FUNERAL HOME in Lee will be today from 3 to 6. In lieu of flowers, friends wishing may make donations to the Lee Public School Special Education Department Disability Fund. The Parkers leave their beloved grandchildren, Robert and Michael Pepe, Amy Andrews, David Morgan, Angela, Raymond and John Carpino, Rachel and David Parker and Rena Palumbo; great-grandchildren, Victoria and Philip Parker, Jordan, Tess and Gabriel Morgan, and Stanley and Morgan Andrews. Mrs. Parker was predeceased by her brother John Cousins.