MIKELSON, Rev. Dr. Thomas J. S. Minister Emeritus, First Parish Cambridge The Rev. Dr. Thomas Jarl Sheppard Mikelson, Minister Emeritus, First Parish in Cambridge, age 84, of Belmont, died April 17, 2020. He is survived by his spouse, Patricia Sheppard, of Belmont; son, Dana Mikelson, and his partner, Michael Chase, of Washington, DC; son, Joel Mikelson, and his spouse, Frances DeChoudens, of Loxahatchee, FL; daughter, Kelly Mikelson, and her spouse, Abraham Wickelgren, their children, Maya Mikelson, and Justin Wickelgren, of Austin, TX; and, daughter, Arwen Duffy, and her spouse, Sean Duffy, and their children, Jack Duffy and James Duffy, of Valencia, CA. He was preceded in death by his mother, Helen (Henry) Mikelson and his father, Clarence Harvey Mikelson. He was ordained a Unitarian Universalist Minister in 1971 and served the Unitarian Universalist Society of Iowa City from 1971 to 1983. He was an Interim Minister at First Parish Brookline, First Parish Dedham, and, the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Saratoga Springs. He was Senior Minister at First Parish Cambridge from 1989 to 2006. He received his Doctor of Theology degree from Harvard Divinity School with a thesis on Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. A Memorial Service will be scheduled as circumstances allow at First Parish Cambridge. Burial will be private. Arrangements are being made by Brown & Hickey Funeral Home, BELMONT. Please leave remembrances at: brownandhickey.com/listings In lieu of flowers, kindly make any contributions to: The Minister's Discretionary Fund, First Parish Cambridge, 3 Church St., Cambridge, MA 02138.

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Published by Boston Globe from Apr. 24 to Apr. 26, 2020.

Memories and Condolences
for THOMAS MIKELSON

33 Entries

Liz Brown

November 6, 2022

Thomas inspired me in my work as a speech writer at Radcliffe College. He may not have known it, but he was influential in helping me become a writer and someone who is trying to live authentically.

Lansing Moran

September 15, 2020

All the wonder filled memories of years (1988-1992) came flooding back into my heart just now (9/2020) when I read about the April passing of Thomas in the "UU World."
I fulfilled a UU Ministry Internship at First Parish, Cambridge under the loving guidance of Rev. Thomas while at Harvard Divinity School. How grateful I am, always, that I was blessed with such a compassionate, forgiving, loving, brilliant, fun soul as a mentor. We lost touch as my Hospital Chaplain journey led me to other far geographies but his sacred place in my heart is forever. Grateful blessings to his beloved family. Rev.Lansing Simonds Moran

Ed Walters

June 24, 2020

I had the privilege of knowing Thomas Mikelson during a small window of my life in Iowa City in the ealy 1980's. I served as a volunteer pianist during the Sunday services. I was always impressed by Thomas' deep intellectualism and spirituality and deep appreciation for life. He had a great sense of humor. When I started playing the wrong hymn, or played at the piano with my three year old son running up to the piano and sitting by me on the bench, or if a child started to cry during his sermon he chose to see the situation with lightness and a sense of humor. Thomas I haven't seen you for years but you left me and everyone who knew you with a beautiful gift.

Tasha Bonfanti Balsom

June 1, 2020

Thomas and Patricia were very special to our family. Thomas was a gracious and deeply caring leader at First Parish in Cambridge, and we admired his commitment to the members of the church. In 2000, Thomas officiated at our marriage renewal ceremony. It was an honor to know him. With love and deepest condolences,
Tasha, David, Mia and Leo Balsom

Kriste del Castillo

May 10, 2020

With love and deepest condolences. What a beautiful life.

Charles Campbell

May 6, 2020

Remembering Tom singing in the choir at the Church of Christ in Clarion, Iowa

Thomas when he was our minister at First Parish in Cambridge. I have many wonderful memories of his ministry.

Gloria Korsman

May 6, 2020

Kathryn Bonfiglio

April 29, 2020

Dear Patricia,
We are saddened by the loss of this remarkable man. He was compassionate and caring and was clearly made for his calling. Our parents, Ruth and Michael Bonfiglio, appreciated the sermons and the activism that Rev. Mikelson provided during his time at the Unitarian Universalist Church in Iowa City. Members of our family were honored to be at his invocation as minister in Cambridge and to have our brother, Robert, provide the music for the event. We wish the world was filled with more like him. We send our sincere condolences to you and your family.

Maren Hansen

April 29, 2020

Thomas was a very important and beloved friend to me throughout my adult life. I first met him in 1970 in my freshman religion course at Cornell College, which he taught. For a class essay about our religious development, I wrote about being raised a Unitarian Universalist. At that time, Thomas (or Tom as we called him then) was in conversation with the Iowa City UU Church about becoming their new minister. Four years later, I decided to study to become a UU minister. Thomas and I developed a friendship, and in many ways he mentored me in my spiritual development and as a Unitarian minister. He saw possibilities in me that I did not see in myself, and he nurtured those possibilities. We had many long deep conversations about life, and our lives.

In 2010 Thomas and I planned a pilgrimage to Walden Pond. He designed our reading list prior to the trip. We spent two days walking at Walden Pond, and swimming in the pond. We read aloud from Thoreau's writings at various spots on the land and shore. It was the fulfillment of a dream, and such fun to do it together. I loved how seriously Thomas took theology and life, and how much love and joy he brought to my life, and the lives of so many others. My heart goes out to Patricia, his beloved.

I treasure Thomas for all the complexity and gifts of his being. Particularly, I will miss how generously he bestowed his love on us, his kindness, his seriousness about everything, his joy, his innocent wonder, his laughter, his mysticism and healing hands, his keen mind, his willingness to buck authority and rules, his deep commitment to explore his experience, and his love of song.

Continue soaring, Thomas.
Maren

lisa

April 29, 2020

so deeply sorry for your loss, I know you will hold him near and dear inside your heart always. xo

Jake Morrill

April 28, 2020

Thomas Mikelson was an intellectual, with a PhD in theology from Harvard and a particular focus on Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr as a public theologian--he'd briefly followed Dr. King in Chicago in the late '60s, had studied King's work closely, and felt that Dr. King was under-appreciated as a theologian. He also exhorted others to read and understand the work of James Luther Adams. Though brilliant himself, Thomas was more interested in making sure other voices, not his, were heard.

Thomas was a mystic and a healer. His relationship with God meant he entered the room with a kind of elegance, radiating grace. He'd been an athlete when he was younger, and moved with that ease. When a friend of mine fell and twisted an ankle, Thomas was somehow right there, and glided right over, to hold the ankle and to pray over it. But, because he took faith seriously, he didn't let slide any vacuous thoughts about God that I happened to mention--he'd ask me what I meant, how I understood it. The examined faith, one that withstood serious interrogation, was the one he promoted.

This was all at the First Parish in Cambridge, where I knew him from 2001-03 when I was an intern under his supervision. My first Sunday was the one after September 11--my ministry has happened all since that time, in this unsteady era. And he draped the historic pulpit and chancel in the sanctuary in black. From that day, I learned that even when geo-political storms rise up, what people need to hear on Sundays is not off-the-cuff political commentary, but about how what's happening occurs in the context of the Eternal.

One winter weeknight, a church-member angrily showed up to a Board meeting with a long list of complaints. The member had already made his unhappiness known, but had been given a short time on the agenda, the limits of which he was breathlessly running over, until Thomas said, quietly, "That's enough!" He said it with such authority that the man's rambling stopped cold. Until then, I thought a minister had to nod and listen to whatever anybody else said. Another time, I was upset because a church-member had been deceptive, and was about to say something hot-headed, when I felt his hand on my back. Without a word, he drained me of anger, and helped me listen more.

There was a Sunday when, as the organ prelude swelled up, Thomas murmured to me that he'd left his sermon manuscript back at home. I got very anxious and told him I'd run to his house and get it for him. But he said, "Ah, it'll be all right." And he went down to the floor and spoke from the heart, beginning with a story about the African pop concert he'd gone to see the night before. He loved music and dancing. In fact, a sweet memory I have was when Sarah Gibb Millspaugh, Ethan Contini-Field, and I led a youth trip down through the South to visit Civil Rights sights, and Thomas and his beloved wife, Patricia, put some songs in the jukebox at the Waffle House in Montgomery, Alabama, and danced with each other right there.

While he was my mentor, his aim was to produce out of me a ministry authentic to me, not a second-hand copy of him. He challenged me, even as he encouraged me. One Saturday night, I called him at home, to say that I wouldn't have ready for Sunday what I'd promised to prepare. I expected him to let me off the hook. But, instead, he only said, quietly, "Well, it sounds like you've got a real problem then." So, I found the wherewithal to get it together for the next day. But all of his challenges to me came from love. He knew writing was important to me and that parish ministry can sap the intentions of any would-be author. So, when he flew down to Knoxville to give the Charge to the Minister at my ordination, goading me to keep writing was the heart of his charge.

Call it luck, fate, or grace, but he was not only my mentor--forty years prior, he was an important mentor to my father, as well, when Thomas was a young college chaplain at Cornell College, in Mount Vernon, Iowa. To have mentored two generations in my family is only part of the legacy he now leaves behind. Many, many others have been touched by his life and his ministry. It's ours now to carry on his example in ways, he would hope, that are authentically and creatively ours. He'd probably also hope we took some time to dance.

Lori Friedman

April 28, 2020

I was lucky enough to work for Thomas when he was Interim Minister at UU Saratoga. He was such an interesting, warm and caring person. My thoughts are with Patricia and all of his family.

Ruth Ann Mikels

April 27, 2020

Dear Patricia,
I am so sorry to learn of Rev Mikelson's passing. Our recent communications about his hymn, "Wake Now My Senses", and e-meeting you brought a breathe of joy and light into life during this very tragic time in the world. With your gracious permission we did unite in song with that hymn (together, but apart) during our virtual service on Sunday morning, April 19. Thank you so much for bringing us into your and Thomas' life. I send deepest love and sympathy to you and your family during this very sad time.
In faith,
Ruth Ann (Tahoma Unitarian Universalist Congregation)

Susan Quinn

April 27, 2020

Thomas was that rare thing-a friend we made late in our lives, when he and Patricia lived in their beautiful farmhouse in North Adams.
He was such an exuberant presence, quick to laugh and to engage on every subject, from apple pie to social justice. I treasure our times with him and Patricia, marveling together at the mountain view from their kitchen window.

Karin Rosenthal

April 26, 2020

I've known Thomas for more than two decades, first as his photography teacher and then as his friend. I think the term "hale and hearty" was invented for him, or at least someone like him. He had such a strong, outgoing presence. As his health declined in recent years, he accepted all with a noble grace, even his last days of isolation from loved ones. Thomas was the real deal, embodying yet another idiom. He "practiced what he preached" with the courage and calm he taught. A very fine man has left us.

Mei-Mei Ellerman

April 26, 2020

Dearest Patricia, you and your family have been in my thoughts as I have accompanied you through the difficult days following the sudden loss of your beloved Thomas.
I will continue to hold you in my heart in the days, weeks and months to come. I wish that I had had the privilege of knowing your husband.
In my mind, your ever luminous presence reflects the beauty and meaning you both bestowed upon those whose lives you touched.
With love, Mei-Mei

Faye Mihuta

April 26, 2020

Patricia, my husband and I are so saddened by the loss of Thomas and send our deepest sympathies to you and your family. We are glad that we had the opportunity to meet and talk with you in Saratoga Springs during Thomas' time with us. We know he treasured you. I have a photograph of him on my desk, taken with our Committee on Ministry, which I have been looking at all week. I will be forever moved by the warmth of his smile, the expansiveness of his mind and spirit, and the kindness of his soul. I feel blessed to have had many heartfelt conversations with him. My husband often spoke with Thomas of their shared love of the natural world, the beauty of Thomas' photographs......Jimmy mapped out scenic routes home to North Adams which he knew Thomas would appreciate, one of which went by his childhood home. Thomas, being Thomas, joyfully took these roads less traveled and one day stopped at the 18th century brick house on the hill and asked if he could take photographs which he then surprised us with. Thomas spread love to all those he encountered. His memory is a blessing to many. May you and your family hold that in your hearts.
Love from Faye and Jim Mihuta

April 26, 2020

Patricia, our deepest sympathies are with you and your family. My husband and I are glad to have met and spoken with you during Thomas' time with us in Saratoga Springs. We know how much he treasured you. I have a picture of him on my desk, taken with our Committee on Ministry, which I have been looking at all week. I will be forever moved by the warmth of his smile and the kindness of his soul, remembering all the heartfelt conversations I had with him. He and my husband spoke often about the natural world, the beauty of Thomas' photographs....Jimmy mapped out the most scenic routes home to North Adams which he knew Thomas would appreciate, one of which happened to go by his childhood home. Thomas, being Thomas, joyfully took these roads less traveled, stopped at the 18th century brick house on the hill one day, and asked to take photographs which he surprised us with. His memory is a blessing to so many. May you and your family hold that in your hearts.
Love to you from Faye and Jim Mihuta

Mary Dobrian

April 26, 2020

Dana, my dear old friend, I haven't had a contact for you for years. Maybe you will read this and accept my deepest condolences. Much love, Mary

TOM & DENNIE WOLF

April 25, 2020

What an incredibly sweet and generous man. He and Patricia were our neighbors for many years and we could always count on a smile, a caring word or two, and periodic home-baked apple pie (Thomas' mother's secret recipe!) We will remember especially the incredibly lovely wedding ceremony at which Thomas officiated at our daughter, Lea, and son-in-law, Todd's wedding almost 25 years ago, and more tragically, his sensitive officiating at the memorial service for one of their children who died as an infant. We were so fortunate to have seen Thomas recently at a birthday celebration -- his smile undiminished! The world was a better place thanks to this remarkable man. Our special love to Patricia.
Tom & Dennie Wolf

Al and Jean Hood

April 24, 2020

Thomas was our minister at the Unitarian Universalist Society, Iowa City and we always thought of him as our "eastern" minister as well. He helped marry our son in Massachsetts and gave the graveside service for our father's commital in Holliston. Always interested in our family, kind to all, deeply committed to the ministry. We warched his children grow up. Our sincere sympathy to Patricia and the whole family. We wish we were near to give you all a big hug! Al and Jean Hood

MARIE ONEILL

April 24, 2020

I was fortunate to have met Thomas a couple of times with his cousins daughter, my dear friend Karen. She had told me about his background as a minister before I joined the two of them at a restaurant in Saratoga. I found inspiration in his decision to come out of retirement to take on an interim ministry. Having learned all this about him, I was nevertheless struck by the depth of his humanity as he spoke of his doctoral research on Martin Luther King. It was apparent he was a very special man. My heart goes out to Patricia, especially since she could not be with him at the end.

David Horst

April 23, 2020

I remember my friend and mentor Thomas as a wise, funny, kind, and deeply spiritual human being. He preached my ordination sermon and officiated my wedding ceremony, for which I will always be grateful. His teachings and guidance continue to inform my ministry and my life.

David Bassani

April 21, 2020

My husband Rob and I were so lucky to have experienced Thomas as our minister at the UU in Saratoga. Just today we were having a conversation with another UU friend about his positive influence and light that he brought our community when he served as our interim minister. All the wonderful things said today during that conversation I can assume are happening across the Northeast right now. He truly lived on this earth in the best of ways. When we think of Thomas, one word always comes to mind first: love. He knew how to give it and receive it and he lead with it. What better compliment can you give a soul on this earth? Patricia, we send you our love and wish you healing, peace, and wonderful memories as you face this challenge. We are all lucky to have known him.

Rob Haren

April 21, 2020

We were so blessed to have Thomas support us during our transition at UUCSS. His wisdom and gentle spirit graced the congregation at a pivotal time in our history. My thoughts go out to Patricia and his family.

Eric Lawson

April 21, 2020

When I first met Thomas in Saratoga Springs, as he began serving as our transitional minister, he and I immediately bonded and from then until he left us two years later, I always felt a reassuring comfort and acceptance from him. He had no need to push an agenda on me or the Congregation and genuinely accepted me and others as we were. I always felt when he used words of affection, love and respect, he meant them, a trait often absent from the language of other ministers. Please accept my deepest condolences., Thomas will be missed by many.

Mary Cobb

April 21, 2020

How lucky we were at UUCSS to have thomas as our interim minister! I will always remember him with great fondness and admiration. Holding Patricia and the entire family in my heart.

Samuel Pickands

April 21, 2020

Thomas' warm humanitarianism and humble intellectualism combined to draw me into Unitarian Universalism during his tenure as Saratoga Spring's interim minister. In his time I saw him stand up for the poor, for women's rights, and LGBTQ community without hesitation. I can only honor this man who lived his faith.

Bill Torcaso

April 20, 2020

There was no one like him. I feel blessed, truly blessed, to have known him and learned from him.

Linda McGraw

April 20, 2020

What an amazing human being and such a loss for all of us! Sincere condolences to Patricia and their family.

Nancer Ballard

April 20, 2020

So Sorry to hear about Thomas' passing. I'm so glad I got to meet him. He seemed like a very kind and gentle man. My heart and thoughts are with Patricia and the rest of their family.

India Spartz

April 20, 2020

Patricia,
We are saddened to learn that our dear sweet Thomas has left this earth.
May his spirit live on in all of us. Thomas was an important part of our lives; in particular his support of our courtship. And we are so grateful that he performed our marriage service.
We hope you can find peace and comfort during this trying and difficult time.

Sending love and virtual hugs your way.

India Spartz & Alexander Stevens

Ed Scott

April 20, 2020

Thoughts and prayers for Patricia and the rest of the family at this time

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