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Patricia DeHaven Obituary

Patricia Marie (Alleva) DeHaven of Berwyn Wow. Every time Patricia DeHaven opened her eyes, even up until the day she died, she would smile and say, "Wow." She loved life. After a long fight with cancer, Patricia-known as "Pat," "Patty" or "Big Pat, Big of Heart"-died early Wednesday morning in her home surrounded by her family. She was 67. "She lived exactly as she wanted to until the end," recalled her childhood friend, Toni Schmidt. Patricia's accomplishments and life, what she meant to others and did for others, are difficult to sum up. She was a loving wife, kind mother-a second mother to many of her children's friends and the police officers who worked with her husband-and the world's greatest grandmother to her grandchildren. She was a scientist who worked on vaccines, a cook who fed everyone who walked into her home, and a nutritionist who made sure everyone-including her husband-ate their veggies. She raised money for veterans, worked as a volunteer for crime victims and devoted time to her church, St. Monica in Berwyn. But above all she was a true friend. Patricia was a lifelong resident of Berwyn. Her parents, Lillian and Angelo Alleva, owned Alleva's Coffee Shop (now Clays Creative Corner Bakery) a landmark in Berwyn. From her parents, Patricia learned not only the art of cooking but the communal aspect of sharing a meal. Later, she and her sister, Joan Stillwell, started a small catering business and taught cooking classes for the Main Line Night School. "Everything we did, we did together," said her sister, Joan. "We had so much fun. We laughed so much." Patricia met her husband, William "Bill" DeHaven, when the two were fourth graders at St. Monica School in Berwyn. He made fun of her then, but when she called to ask him to a dance six years later, it was an offer he couldn't refuse. "I was like the village hoodlum," recalled Bill; Pat was the good student, top in her class, and elected the "May Queen" for the eighth grade May Procession at St. Monica School. "I couldn't believe it," Bill said. "My mother was very happy, and my father laughed and said, 'What would she want with you?' That's what I was thinking. I was bewildered." Patricia went to Immaculata University (then Immaculata College) and was the first in her family to graduate from college with a degree in chemistry. Bill was drafted into the army, stationed at West Point and close enough to come home nearly every week. When he was "too short"-i.e., didn't have enough time left to serve in the Vietnam War, he sold his beloved motorcycle-a 1961 Triumph-to buy Pat an engagement ring. The two married in 1966. Initially, Pat's mother was not happy with her daughter's choice. But Bill won her over. "He treated Pat so well," Pat's sister, Joan, said. Pat and Bill went on to raise four children. Even after she went back to work first as a research scientist and later as a biochemist for Merck & Co., she always managed to cook a homemade meal for dinner. And it seemed everyone knew dinner was served at 6 p.m. sharp. Pat was a sweet woman who never said an unkind word about anyone. She could be tough without acting tough-no one wanted to disappoint her. She was always genuinely happy to see you. "There aren't many people like that in the world," Bill said. "She was as close to perfect as you can get." And she never let the cancer get her down. She was known to take a kickboxing or spinning class after her chemotherapy treatment. Many acquaintances had no idea she was ill. Pat prayed for everyone. Whenever anyone had a special occasion, Pat turned her small statue of the Blessed Mother to face out the window-her way of ensuring the weather would be just perfect. "The gift of knowing Pat reveals that saints and angels can walk among us," said her longtime friend and one-time boss, Lynn Caporale. She is survived by her husband, Bill; her sister, Joan Stillwell; her sons Bill (wife Elizabeth) of Brooklyn, N.Y., Mike (wife Kim) of Glen Mills and Tony of Berwyn; her daughter Judy (husband Wayne Woolley) of Red Bank, N.J.; her grandsons Jack, Will, Chris, Colin and Regan; and her granddaughters Lillian and Mae. Relatives and friends are invited to Patty's Life Celebration service from 9:15 to 10:15 a.m. Saturday October 30, at St. Monica Church, 635 Main Ave., Berwyn, PA 19312, with her funeral Mass at 10:30 a.m. Interment St. Monica Cemetery, Berwyn. Life Celebration service by Mauger-Givnish of Malvern. Condolences may be offered to the family at www.tributes.com. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to one of Pat's three favorite charities: St. Monica School (www.smsberwyn.org), The Crime Victims' Center of Chester County (www.cvcofcc.org/donate), or the Berwyn Veteran's Memorial (berwynveteransmemorial.com). www.LifeCelebration.com

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by Daily Local News from Oct. 27 to Oct. 28, 2010.

Memories and Condolences
for Patricia DeHaven

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Anne Mastrocola

October 22, 2021

Patty and her family made the two years we shared at Immaculata so special. I remember the many times I crashed at her place with friends.
We drifted apart over the years but when we reconnected when I worked in Berwyn the years melted away.
It was a privilege and joy to be with her again and despite her illness, she, Sandy Keil and I laughed and turned a "lunch" into many happy times together .
My love and best wishes to her whole family.

Rick Groves

October 21, 2020

Pat was as close to a Saint on Earth as anyone I’ve ever had the privilege to know, perhaps the finest person I have ever met. God Bless her, and His Grace to Bill, all family and friends.

November 10, 2010

I'll never forget Judy's first baby shower. I was chatting with Pat, embarrassed that I couldn't remember this woman's name--I was sure that she was one of Judy's 30-something friends, I didn't recognize her as a grandmother. Pat had a new haircut and stylish clothes and looked years younger than when I last saw her at Judy's wedding! She always served as a fantastic example to me, even though I had met her only a few times. Whenever Judy and I were talking about work/motherhood/marriage, Judy always had a fabulous Pat anecdote to get us through. What an amazing woman! She will be greatly missed, but her granddaughters are so lucky that their mom is a gifted storyteller, and will tell the stories of their fantastic grandmother for years to come. My heart goes out to you, Judy and family.
Love,
Petula and the Boys in DC

Susie Vinokur

November 1, 2010

Dear Bill & Family,
I am Joan's Niece and just wanted to convey my deepest sympathy for your loss. I met Pat several years ago when I was out for a visit. I remember her as a very sweet person. My prayers and thoughts are with you.

John Murphy

October 31, 2010

Dear family,

Please accept my deepest condolences and sympathy. I hope that you find hope and comfort (as I do) from the promise of Jesus to reunite us with our dead loved ones here on earth under his kingdom rule in the near future when there is no more sickness, suffering, and death. May God bless you with strength and his spirit, dear ones.

Rick Groves

October 31, 2010

Pat: Always remembered, always loved,we were blessed to know an Angel on Earth. God's Blessings forever.

October 30, 2010

Bill and all the DeHaven family (children and grandchildren),
My sincere sympathy, love and prayers are with you during this time of loss of a wonderful person whom I first met when she worked at the bookstore at then Immaculata College and I worked in the Post Office there. Pat was a very special person and we had so many memorable times talking and laughing together. May she now rest in peace with her Lord and may He bless and strengthen you during this difficult time. The prayers of the IHM Sisters are with you. God bless!
Sister Geraldine Cantwell, IHM
(formerly Sister Hugh Margaret, IHM)
Immaculata, PA

October 29, 2010

Bill and family, we are both so very sorry for your loss of your most precious wife and mother. Patsy was one of the sweetest,loving,kindest ladies(and she was a lady)that we ever knew. She will be greatly missed,but we both are so thankful to have known her Sincerely,Pete and Betsy Pavillard

Diane and Joe Glatts

October 29, 2010

Bill and Family--we were very saddened when we heard about Pat. She was a wonderful woman who always had a smile on her face and a kind word for all. She will truly be missed. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Claudia

October 29, 2010

Pat has been an inspiration of kindness, grace and courage to all of us. She had a positive influence on everyone she touched. She has been an incredible blessing in my life. There is not doubt in my mind that the Lord has a very special place for her in heaven.

Barbara(Clark) & Ed Sandone

October 29, 2010

Bill & Family,
We just heard about Pat & are so sorry. She was such a special & sweet person. We haven"t seen you in years but have thought about you often. You were great friends & neighbors. She will be missed greatly. Our thoughts & prayers are with you.

Bobby Grier

October 29, 2010

Bill; My condolences to you, your family.All of my prayers go out to you

Agnes Crowley Reed

October 29, 2010

Bill, My prayers are with you and the family. Although time had passed since I last spoke with her, her kindness and gentleness will always be remembered. A new angel is welcomed to heaven.

October 29, 2010

Bill & Family,

Pat's love of God was an inspiration to all! She will surely be missed and always remembered!
Love,
Helen & Deb

Sandi Ross

October 29, 2010

Uncle Bill, Billy, Mike, Judy, and Tony - I am so sorry to hear of Aunt Pat's passing. You have all been and will continue to be in our thoughts and prayers!
Much love,
Sandi and Dick

Gina (Aquilante) Corridoni, Alex and Family

October 29, 2010

Mr. DeHaven, Mike, Billy, Judy and Tony ~
We are so sorry for your loss. "WOW", her wonderful smile and her strong faith is what I remember most, she was always so sweet and so gentle. I am so blessed to have such great and wonderful memories of Mrs. D at home and in the shop. Please know our thoughts and prayers are with you and your families. God Bless ~

Michelle Hoch- Auch

October 28, 2010

Bill and Family - I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family. She was an awesome woman.

Sandra Brown

October 28, 2010

Bill, you and your entire family are in my thoughts and prayers as we all try to imagine a world without Patty. She never stopped living, giving, loving. Even in her very last days, Patty was thinking of and working for others. She was one of those exceptional people one feels blessed to have known in life; an inspiration and genuinely gentle, yet feisty soul. We will say goodbye, but Patty will never be far from our thoughts and always in our hearts.

Jim Sumner

October 28, 2010

Bill and Family - I am very sorry to hear about Pat. She was truly a good person. We worked together for many years and shared many ups and downs, but I know, from our many walks during lunch, that she was most proud of being a wife, mother and grandmother. I know that she is smiling down on you. Our prayers are with your family.

Mike & Lisa Carsello

October 28, 2010

Bill and family - We were so sad to hear about Pat. She was such a beautiful person with so much warmth and love to give. She had that unique knack for making everyone else feel special...when in reality we were the ones who were truly blessed for knowing her. Our hearts and prayers go out to all her family and friends.

Rebecca Broida Gart

October 28, 2010

To the entire DeHaven family -- please accept my sincere condolences. Pat was a lovely woman -- so loving and warm

Michelle White

October 28, 2010

Bill and Family - I was so very sad to hear about Pat. She was an amazing, amazing woman. I will hold all of you in my thoughts and prayers....

October 28, 2010

I was very sorry to hear about Pats passing. Know that my thoughts are with all of you. I will miss her dearly! She was a very special person to me and will always have a place in my heart.

Rose Kowalski(Merck)

Lisa Broida Bailey

October 28, 2010

I was so sorry to hear of the loss of your sweet mom, Bill. I always remember her smile.
Lisa Broida Bailey

David Spiese

October 28, 2010

Bill - My condolences to you and your family. Pat was an amazing person who made a difference for the better in my and a lot of others' lives. She will be missed.

October 28, 2010

My sympathy to the DeHaven Family, and I trust that you'll be comforted by faith, family and friends in the days and weeks ahead. David Broida

October 28, 2010

Mr. DeHaven, Mike, Billy, Tony & Judy~
I am so sad for your loss and it was beautiful to read about her life. She was remarkable and the sweetest person and I know how much you will miss her.
You guys are in our prayers here in the Newton household.

Love Lisa (Caniglia) Newton, Tim & Girls

Phil and Christine Matteo

October 28, 2010

Bill - Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Pat was loved and will be missed by many. She played a very influential part of both of our lives, for which we will be forever grateful. Rest in peace, Pat.

October 28, 2010

Bill-
We were sorry to hear of the passing of your Pat. Cindy and I will be out of town on the 30th but wanted you to know that you and your family are in our prayers.

Steve and Cindy Mills

October 27, 2010

Tony D, you and your family have my sympathy...I hope you can find some comfort in knowing that you have friends out there thinking and praying for you and your family.... Eddie Josefoski from Penn State

Joe Woodward

October 27, 2010

Take comfort in knowing that now you have a special guardian angel to watch over you.

Georgia Haynie

October 27, 2010

May God bless you and your family in this time of sorrow.

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