Susan Calnan Bates

1941 - 2025

Susan Calnan Bates

September 29, 1941 - August 19, 2025

Susan Calnan Bates, 83, of Charlottesville, Virginia, passed away on August 19, 2025, after a life rich with family, friendship, and purpose. Born September 29, 1941, in Massachusetts to John James and Margaret Wood Calnan, Susan grew up in Andover as a spirited tomboy who loved sports, especially baseball, and remained a loyal Red Sox fan.

A proud Abbot Academy graduate (cum laude, 1959), she earned an English-Speaking Union Scholarship to Moreton Hall School in Weston Rhyn, near Oswestry, Shropshire, England, deepening her lifelong love of literature and learning. While a senior at Abbot, she was invited to live with the Samuel S. Rogers family in Andover, Massachusetts - an experience that forever shaped her life and that of her family. In 1964, she graduated cum laude from Boston University with a degree in Literature; she left with a voracious reading habit, enduring curiosity, and a husband.

She married Benjamin S. Bates Jr. that same summer, beginning a 61-year partnership rooted in commitment, affection, and shared adventure. The newlyweds moved to San Diego, where Ben served as an officer in the U.S. Navy as the Vietnam War was ramping up, and Susan worked in admissions at California Western University. In 1966, they returned to Massachusetts, where their first child, Ben III, was born. Daughter Sarah followed in 1969, shortly before the family settled permanently in Charlottesville in 1971. Their third child, Andrew, arrived in 1976.

Charlottesville became Susan's true home. Through every chapter, from raising three children to building lifelong friendships, volunteering, and later developing a counseling career, she wove herself into the fabric of the community. Her work always centered on helping others find direction and dignity. As the inaugural 'coordinator of services' for Focus, she supported women returning to school or work and helped establish the Shelter for Help in Emergency for women experiencing domestic violence.

Susan then spent twelve years as a career counselor with the University of Virginia's Office of Career Planning and Placement in the School of Architecture, earning a Master of Education in Counseling from UVA in 1984. She continued at UVA until 1991, when she left to focus on her private counseling practice with Albemarle Counseling Services. In addition to her private practice, she led pro bono recovery groups for women and for people living with AIDS, bringing compassion where it was needed most. In 1992, she was honored as Counselor of the Year by the Virginia Counseling Association.

Though her professional life was full, Susan often said her greatest work was raising her children. She encouraged Ben, Sarah, and Andrew to think for themselves, serve others, and meet the world with curiosity and courage. Her six granddaughters brought new joy, especially during family vacations in North Chatham on Cape Cod.

And then there were the dogs. From Gretchen and Casey, the family's German Shepherds, to Golden Retrievers Missy, Fergus, Bronwen, Fenway, Connor, Clue, and Rhett - Susan's love of dogs was legendary. She trained and titled them in obedience, tracking, agility, and dock diving, with Fenway earning a prestigious PACH agility championship. Bronwen and Connor achieved tracking titles, while Clue and Rhett added dock diving and Fast CAT to the mix.

Susan is survived by her husband of 61 years, Benjamin Sabin Bates Jr.; children, Benjamin Sabin Bates III and his wife Nadine, Sarah Pemberton Bates, and Andrew Graham Bates and his wife Lisa; and granddaughters, Hannah, Caroline, Emma, Chloe, Aylin, and Rylee. She also leaves her sister, Jane Haynes and her husband Mike; nephews Jonathan and David Haynes and their families; sister-in-law Martha Bates Jura; and nephew Michael Jura and family.

Susan also adored her "chosen family," including the Rogers and Fuller households and her beloved "super sibs": Lyndy, Sam, and Chris Rogers and their families, and Tim, Sarah, Jonny, and Becca Fuller and their families.

A reception celebrating Susan's life will be held on September 6, 2025, at 12 p.m. at the barn at Panorama Farms Natural Burial Grounds, which is accessed off Reas Ford Lane off of Reas Ford Road. The family asks guests to carpool whenever possible and recommends wearing good walking shoes. Guests are also encouraged to bring favorite pictures of Susan to share.

In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made to the Morris Animal Foundation's Golden Retriever Lifetime Study (https://www.morrisanimalfoundation.org/golden-retriever-lifetime-study) in memory of Angel Hero Clue #1211, honoring Susan's lifelong enthusiasm for helping people and animals live their best lives.