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Harriet Stangland Obituary
Harriet attended Carlton University in Minnesota and the University of Minnesota where she studied music, and she sang professionally in the Minneapolis area for a number of years. She worked with Liberace and the Glenn Miller Band singing popular hits of her era, and her beautiful operatic voice filled the finest music halls and churches in the Twin Cities.
Thereafter her life was filled with a good marriage and being a busy homemaker and mother. She loved musical theatre, sports, decorating, entertaining and cooking for everyone. Music, family and friends filled her heart throughout her life. She was giving, loyal, brave, and beautiful inside and out. She will be dearly missed, and remembered with great love.
Memorials preferred to the ASPCA (the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) or the MN Animal Humane Society.
Arrangements handled by Twin County Funerals, Galax, VA
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Memories and Condolences
for Harriet Stangland
The ring she gave me and the ring I gave her - attached together as one. That's kind of the way we were.
Betsy Banks
July 16, 2013
In five short months I will be the same age my father was when he died. He was accomplished. My dad was extremely intelligent, high-ranking in his career before health-related retirement and very wise. He had a wry sense of humor connected to the twinkle in his eye but he was basically a no-nonsense kind of guy. Me? At the same age, I am but a child.
The only two people in the world who loved me completely and without reserve were my parents. Now that they are both gone from this world, I find myself utterly alone and lost. Love comes from experience, not blood and not words … and my parents treated me with love from the day I was born until the day they died.
I accomplished nothing in my life, apart from caring for my mom and loving a lot of people. When my dad died I knew this would happen after Mama passed; I knew they were the only two people who truly cared whether I was alive.
When the person you love most in all the world dies, it's like the earth being pulled out from under you. For some, the cloth whips out from under the silverware and dishes with fury, but still leaving them in place. For others, the silverware, china and glassware come crashing down along with the vase of flowers. That's me. I'm left with forks in my chest, cuts everywhere on my body and blood swirling in the water from the now dying flowers and my tears. It doesn't make any difference whether the one you lost is 4 or 32 or 50 or 91; when that person is the one you love most of all there is nothing left but pain.
You can try to find reasons to go on, and most people do. Those who believe in God go on because they don't want those they love to be mad at them when it's their time to die and see them again and they don't want to mess up the chance to be with those now in the hereafter. Those who don't believe in God may be hopeful that something good will still come their way someday. Both have a born instinct to survive. I still don't know what drives my willingness to stay alive, but I do know there is no God.
I am also now the age that my mother was when she and I began living together as adults. We were both so alone at the time, and it was the best choice either of us could have made. It was the start of the very happiest years of my life. Mama always said she and I were kindred souls, and she was right as usual. My greatest regret of many mistakes is that I kept trying to find the old dreams instead of realizing that they were right there in Mom's back yard.
She was so smart by the time we moved in together. I admired so much about her, right up until the day she died. She always was a stunning beauty with great talents and in-your-face grace. Me? I destroyed my beauty and talents, and the last thing I do is walk through life with grace. I think the only confidence I ever possessed was felt through my mother's eyes – and when I think of those eyes now all I can see is a lifeless stare into space as I held her in my arms for the last time. The only thing in life that I'm confident of now, is that the rest of it will be filled with tears of sorrow.
Maybe now I do understand why I'm still here. I'm the product of my mother and my father – their beloved creation. I hold a part of them in my being and forever in my heart. That's reason enough for me. I can't embrace the human instinct to survive and to push forward, but I can honor it. My life was born from love, and I will continue to live it, loving. But there are none I shall love as much as I loved my mother.
My beautiful Mother at 89 - with the light of love always in her eyes.
Betsy Banks
July 8, 2013
I miss you so much Mom.
Betsy Banks
June 25, 2013
The Nightmare
I had a nightmare last night. There was a terrible tornado at my house, and I told Mama we should stand against the outside of the house to be safe. She held her cat, Misty, and I held another pet, as we stood side by side in the wind and howling sound. Some other people were running around and around the outside of the house in a big circle, hollering at us that the news had said that's what people should do to be safe. But Mama trusted me, and so we stood together against the outside wall.
Mama looked scared, but she had faith in me and she was fairly calm. All of a sudden she was swept away, up into the sky, and I screamed, reaching out to try and pull her back! She never let go of Misty. I went for miles, checking bodies on the ground to try and find her. But I never did.
I called my cousin, and I told her what Mama was wearing and that she was holding Misty, and my cousin said, “Yes, I know.” She was crying just like me – she had seen Mama dead on the ground somewhere near her house. My cousin lives two hours from me, and I called just minutes after losing Mama. I know that doesn't make sense, because I spent hours searching for her amidst the bodies before the call, but it was a nightmare and that's just the way it was.
My Mama and Misty had been taken by the tornado and swept across many miles in the blink of an eye. She was gone. She trusted me. I tried to save her and protect her, but I didn't. I failed her. I was left with screams and sobbing tears of regret and loss – and my nightmare couldn't have been more true to life.
Betsy Banks
June 20, 2013
You, Mama, were the love of my life, too. With you, I WAS beautiful. Without you, I AM ALONE. One year ago, you died in my arms. And honestly, I died with you. As long as I live, I will miss you with every moment.
She was such a joy!
Betsy Banks
June 20, 2013
This is how I remember my mother :) I miss you so much, Mama.
Five girls - all smiling :)
Betsy Banks
June 20, 2013
A Note From Mama
Betsy Banks
June 20, 2013
A Note From Mama
One of my sisters found this note from Mom and it means so much to me ... I am utterly alone without my mother ... she was my everything.
“My beautiful, beautiful Betsy Hamilton Stangland, I loved her more than anything in the world. My beautiful, beautiful Betsy, the love of my life. Please do not destroy these pages! Please! Scatter my ashes on HER grave so she will NOT be ALONE! (NOR WILL I)
Lakewood Cemetery
Lot#361 – West ½ section
Section 19
Grave 1- mother – grave #2 – DeeDee
Grave #3 - J.P. Hamilton (my Uncle Jim)
Just leave me there with them
Betsy Hamilton Stangland 12-29-52
[address and phone]”
For 365 days I have cried in pain, fear, regret, loneliness and disbelief. I am only glad that she did not have to live without me - at least she was spared that pain. We always said we wanted to die together - and we meant it. That is simply because in life together our love was as strong as it gets ... and dependent upon one another for joy and purpose. And so it goes ...
Harriet and her grandson, Steve .. we lost them in life but never from our hearts.
Betsy Banks
May 29, 2013
It has been said that we live our lives in quiet desperation, and that there are always songs left to sing when we die.
My mother, and my nephew, Steve, both had enough songs in their beautiful hearts to serenade us until the end of time. We will always miss them, and love them.
Mama loved the roses from my garden. She grew gorgeous roses in Florida - dad made her the perfect rose-bed for them. One of her many pleasures.
Betsy Banks
May 20, 2013
Gone eleven months – and I still weep every day. Everything I see or do flashes a moment of memory between us, and immediately I know you are gone and pain engulfs my being.
I am so alone, without you, Mama. Every minute that we were together had more meaning than I even began to know just a tiny bit at the time. Such love and laughter each day – only now do I understand the sacredness of it. It was the reason for life – we all live for love like that. Your death has sent me falling to my knees, both for the loss of you and for the realization of the depth of love we shared.
On my knees – overcome with pain. That is my life without you. Had I known then what I know now, I'd have showered your smiles with pink rose petals every single day.
Betsy's Mother's Day gift to this wonderful Mom, 21 years ago on Mother's Day. Still here, missing their Mom.
Betsy Banks
May 12, 2013
MY MOTHER'S DAY
Love is stronger than death. No matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories nor the pieces of our souls that grew in loves garden. In the end, life is stronger than death.
My mom's life was timeless - because of the love she gave so genuinely - it was strong enough to live on in many hearts forever - especially mine. Her love has always been mine, and my own life is but a reflection of the life she breathed into me.
And yet, I will forever more be engulfed by sorrow. My life will be protected only by the memory of this most willing love - like a soap bubble surrounding me from all the dirt – a fragile bubble of the memories of her endless love - easily broken by the reality of my loneliness.
Over and over - I will be fighting death with the strength of life and love – just fighting for the will to take a breath without her. Since love is stronger than death, I will keep winning, over and over with every breath. Lucky me.
All of my days, will be yours, Mom.
I miss you – come back.
Betsy Banks
May 5, 2013
I should have begged you, "Stay with me, stay with me." I didn't believe any of it, and I was so scared. I didn't want you to be afraid like I was. But I would give anything to go back in time and beg you to "stay with me." And I would cry all the time, just like I'm doing now, even though you'd see all the tears. That way, I would know now, that at least you knew - I was dying too.
Harriet at one of the resorts on the North Shore of Minnesota - always drawn to flowers :)
Betsy Banks
April 20, 2013
Mom loved the Lutsen, Minnesota areas by Lake Superior, and we vacationed there a few times. But once she and I decided to try another Lake Superior resort that turned out to be pretty bad. The shoreline was stunning and we did enjoy the chez-lawn chairs there as we listened to the waves. But the accommodations were laughable, and we couldn't even eat the food.
Mom was always making the best of things - all her life long - and this was no exception. She and I went up to our room and sat on the bed together, eating a bag of Chips Ahoy cookies for dinner, and giggling like two high school girls almost all night long. We talked and talked, and laughed and laughed. That was the very best vacation I have ever had.
Today marks ten months since she died, right here beside me. She didn't know I was there. Her body failed her and death took her away, forever. I'll never be able to say goodbye nor would I want to. Anniversaries are haunting and relentless in their pain, as is every day without her.
I will always need you, admire you, love and cherish you, Mom. You were my guide, my protector, my gift in life and my greatest joy - so shall you always be.
I cannot say goodbye nor would I ever wish to. In my heart, you will live on until death takes me too.
Always brave - smiling through it all. She valued life, and brightened it for us all.
Betsy Banks
April 14, 2013
I've spoken about Mama's courage to forge ahead with life when she lost her husband, my Dad. I'm the age she was then, and I don't think I could do it – not the capable way she did.
But so much more needs to be said about this woman's bravery. As the years moved on clarity began to fail her. Can you imagine that frightening place a person goes? When you don't remember something, then it did not happen. So either trusted people are lying to you or you are losing your mind – so you figure. Either way it's terrifying and painful.
Mama remembered so much more when she was with me; she felt safer. And her reasoning power was amazing until the end – she could figure it out even though it wasn't always second nature anymore. She knew it wasn't the same, but she held her head high and tried her very, very best to keep figuring it out and solving problems and helping day to day and enjoying every smile and every flower and every bird that she saw. Relishing every comforting hug and the always familiar love between us, she stayed the incredibly awesome lady she was right up until the day she died.
She did that, sometimes, amidst confusion and fear of the unknown and after she had lost so much of what was her world. She lost her husband, her home, her financial stability and sometimes her clarity of mind … through no fault of her own … and yet she stayed awesome. She was the epitome of courage. She conquered more than anyone else I've ever known, out of sheer will and grace.
My mother was amazing. I wish I'd never let her out of my sight; I wish I'd never missed one minute of being with this beautiful woman who was my hero.
Harriet at Carlton College in Minnesota in 1940 - the smile of a really fine lady :)
Betsy Banks
April 9, 2013
This is a photograph of Harriet when she was attending Carlton College in Minnesota - she was 19 in this picture. Carlton is a classy college - just like Harriet. Not class conscious, but just plain classy like gracious and kind and intelligent and oh so so much a lady.
Harriet and her Glenn in 1978, just a few years before he died. They took good care of one another, and they were in love.
Betsy Banks
March 30, 2013
Harriet loved her husband, Glenn, very, very much. He protected her and took very good care of her throughout their long marriage.
I was always amazed by Mom's strength and courage. And when she lost her Glenn so early (1981) she kept living her life to its fullest.
Harriet came across many things in day to day living that she'd never had to handle before, and she tackled them all! We lived together after Dad died, and when I would have called someone to help, Mama was putting new door-knobs on doors and refinishing furniture. She embraced keeping a beautiful yard all by herself, and maintaining our home with her awesome decorating and honest enthusiasm.
I will always remember what a good man my dad was. And I will always remember what a courageous and capable woman my mom was. They were both totally awesome.
Mom and Cousin Nellie walking into Mom's 75th surprise birthday party - fun times!
Betsy Banks
March 30, 2013
Mama always said I was the most thoughtful person she'd ever known. I could say the same about her. But to me it was just about making people happy - especially her. That's what always made me really happy.
For her 75th birthday I rented a fancy restaurant room in the Minnesota Twin Cities area and surprised her with many beloved friends and family. There were about six people at each round table setting, and we rotated Mama every so often so she could visit with everyone. My friends and I blew up lots of balloons and the menu was wonderful.
Many people at the party gave loving speeches and we toasted her with smiles and hugs galore.
Mama thought a few of us were just taking her out to dinner, and this is a picture of her surprised smile as she walked into the decorated and friend-filled room - looking like the classy and life-loving person that she was. This was a very happy day, indeed.
I was the happiest, during all of my life, when I brought happiness to her.
Mama and her beautiful Shelty ... a pretty smile in this one :)
Betsy Banks
March 22, 2013
Harriet and her Betsy - always best buddies!
Betsy Banks
March 20, 2013
Mama and Daddy had a little signal when holding hands. He would squeeze her hand three times – I – love – you, and she would squeeze back the same. Sometimes Mama and I did this together when she was well and we were out together, holding hands. When she was dying she was in such pain you could barely touch her. Lots of times I gently pressed inside her hand three times while saying, “I – love - you,” and once she smiled. Just once.
When “I love you” is replaced with “I miss you” in the finality of death, that place in your heart that was just for that person, is forever dark. Forever empty. And for me, Mama's place, was and always will be, my whole heart.
Love them well, while you can.
Nine months gone.
“I” “Miss” “You.”
Harriet and her Betsy - happy together - the years were many but they could never be enough.
Betsy Banks
March 13, 2013
I went looking for my own little family, and I left you alone. I left you with nothing, but windows and walls. I'm so, so sorry. You, were my family. And now here I am, with nothing, but windows and walls.
I will forever remember all the happiness we shared, Mama. And I now know, that the only true happiness for me, was with you.
She had such a beautiful smile :)
Betsy Banks
March 3, 2013
After Mom had to move in with her daughters, she often said, “I don't want to be a burden. I don't want to be in the way.” I would always tell her something loving, like, “You're not in the way at all!” - “I love having you here!” – or “I love being with you!” I think that made her feel good, but I wish I had known the perfect response as I understand it now.
“I don't want to be in the way.”
“Mama, you ARE the way!”
In honor of what would have been her 92nd birthday.
Harriet laughing - something she did a lot :)
Betsy Banks
March 2, 2013
Sometimes, together, we laughed so hard it made us cry. You were my joy, Mama.
Harriet with her beloved Shelty, Butter. Sometimes we called her Margarine!
Betsy Banks
February 25, 2013
Every time I hear the clicking sound when the coffee carafe is opened or closed, I think of you. Every time I feed our pets, sit on the couch and watch TV, look out on the forest behind the house, get in the car to go somewhere, walk into your room, put away the dishes, see orange juice or doughnuts, think about the past or think about the future, and even when I dream at night ... I think of you. I miss you every single moment of every single day.
The greatest love of all ... mother and child ... Harriet and Betsy.
Betsy Banks
February 20, 2013
You were always there,
Like waves on a shore.
Devoted to me,
Now beside me nevermore.
These past eight months have shown me depth of pain never before imagined. I miss you Mama. I miss your laughter, your wisdom and your love.
Betsy Banks
February 16, 2013
So many little things, Mom. Why you rinsed off the pet food fork to use again later, why you wanted the pink pet food covers instead of the white ones, why you loaded the dishwasher the way you did, and why you ate peanut butter and jelly when you were left to live alone.
And then so many really big things. Why you wondered where I was if I'd been out of sight for three minutes, why your mind was clear when you were with me, and why you trusted me.
Great courage, great smarts, and great, great, greatest love.
Harriet with two dear friends, Bob and Larry. She loved her friends very much. Maybe that's the true meaning of 'classy!'
Betsy Banks
February 14, 2013
Harriet and her dear friend from high school, Wiley. She held a reunion party at our house, and her friends loved her like they'd never been apart!
Betsy Banks
February 2, 2013
Harriet's family - husband Glenn and their three girls.
Betsy Banks
February 2, 2013
Besides being brought home from the hospital, this is the youngest picture of myself I've seen. This was Harriet's family.
Harriet and Betsy having fun eating out :)
Betsy Banks
February 2, 2013
Like many other people, I've always wondered why I was alive. Now I know - it was for my Mom.
Mama and 'her Betsy' in their home in Minnesota.
Betsy Banks
January 25, 2013
I would give anything to have you wake me up from the noise in the kitchen as you make morning coffee for me ... anything.
Harriet holding her "Misty Pearl," a gift from her youngest daughter,Betsy some twenty years ago.
Betsy Banks
January 21, 2013
Harriet and baby Bets - her youngest daughter.
Betsy Banks
January 20, 2013
Seven months have gone by since we lost her. Even though I'm trying to reach out for warmth again, I'm held from it by fear – fear of living without this loving person in my world. I don't see how I can be brave and face it all when all I really want to do is run away. She just can't be gone. This cannot be. I don't understand how to live when I have no life without her. The warmth is gone, the rain is cold and the thunder is loud. I keep seeing her just ahead of me as I run down the path in the storm – I cry out to her – but she cannot hear me. If she could hear me, she would come to me, and then, only then, the sun would come out.
henry neefe
January 15, 2013
Dear Nana, I miss you when you make your cookies,nanas pasta and gave me a stuff animal.love henry
Harriet and her youngest daughter, Bets ... as close as a mother and daughter can possibly be :)
Betsy Banks
January 15, 2013
Mama and me ... we clung to each other. And it was a wonderful thing :)
1991 with Mom in Minneapolis - on our back porch one night.
Betsy Banks
January 14, 2013
Mom and I lived together as adults for almost 30 years. We shared so many happy times together, and I will forever be grateful for the special closeness we had that most children don't get with their parents. They usually move out and stay gone throughout their adulthood, and they can never know all that I knew.
Mom really was my best friend, but one that would also protect me with her own life, and love me unconditionally, forever.
I took this picture of her on our back porch one night after we'd been living together for about ten years - you can see the happiness and contentment we found together. I miss her so, so much.
87 years old - always lovely :)
Betsy Banks
January 14, 2013
Harriet - November, 1966 - loving, beautiful lady :)
Betsy Banks
January 6, 2013
Dad kept this picture of Mama in his wallet. It was taken in 1966 when she was 45 years old. Beautiful! I miss them both, with every breath I take.
It's amazing how much her childhood face in this picture looks like the older Harriet ... even back then she was a beach beauty!
Betsy Banks
December 30, 2012
If only this peace could be true .... if only I could hear you tell me how beautiful she is ...
Betsy Banks
December 30, 2012
Mama watched out for me. She guided me through life, all the while believing in me. I got through this first Christmas and my 60th birthday without her, but I wonder to what end? There isn't much reason to getting through when there's nothing on the other side.
I got through by drawing this picture; Mama was my angel in life and she would have loved this drawing.
I wish I could hug you again - that's all I want. It's really all. It is all. You were my everything, Mama.
Pretty pose :)
December 22, 2012
She was beauty and grace and laughter - and she was my mom.
Betsy Banks
December 20, 2012
My yearning for you, my beautiful mother, is so intense that it has banished all other desires. Life has no meaning and joy is out of bounds. I think about death and my waking hours are filled with uncontrollable bouts of sadness and guilt. I must either avoid reminders of you, or surround myself with them, to survive the days. I look at pictures of you, and my insides light up in anticipation of seeing you again. But I am not getting to see you anymore, and the mix-up in my head is painful. Everything is all mixed up. And everything is painful.
On this day, half a year since you left this earth, I honor you with this picture. Your beauty is stunning, and the light in your spirit shines in your starlet smile. If I'd seen this picture when you were alive, I'd have told you over and over, how beautiful you are. Yes, I did say that to you a lot, but I wish you could have seen the way it sometimes took my breath away.
And yes, when I look at this, my heart lights up when my brain sees you. At the same time I know I'll never see you again, and that conflict is truly suffocating. There is nothing left inside me but sorrow and I only wish to hide from all humanity. Odd, when sorrow is, in large part, what makes us human.
I miss you, Mama.
Harriet and her family at her oldest daughter's wedding 46 years ago - good memories :)
Betsy Banks
December 16, 2012
Harriet having fun at the beach!
Betsy Banks
December 14, 2012
This is a great picture of Harriet (Rowdy) with cousin Nellie and Nellie's dog, Scout. We had many great times with our cousins!
Betsy Banks
December 13, 2012
Harriet and her middle daughter, Barbi.
Betsy Banks
December 12, 2012
Betsy Banks
December 11, 2012
Harriet didn't have any character flaws - everything she was made her who she was - and that was pretty special, indeed.
Renee Wilson
December 10, 2012
The best thing about Harriet was being loved by Harriet. She loved a party, she loved a laugh, she loved to cook, and when she loved you, you knew it. I was lucky to have her as a friend for over 20 years, and I always admired her spirit and appreciated her foibles, because I loved her back.
Betsy Banks
December 6, 2012
Thank you, Mama, for giving your oldest daughter the strength she needs right now. I love my sisters - gifts from you.
Mom with my dear friend, Jackie.
Betsy Banks
December 2, 2012
Mama loved my friends, and she was a good friend to them. She carried on her old family tradition of entertaining her children's friends with good food and good fun, just as her family had done for her. Those memories meant so much to her, and now I see just how much those times she created for me built memories I'll always cherish.
Harriet with one of her own mother's dearest friends, Dorothy. Hallie's friends became Mom's friends, just as her friends became mine.
Betsy Banks
November 28, 2012
I think my Mom had more friends than anyone else I know. She had moved away from her hometown of Minneapolis for some thirty years before she could return ... and all of her many friends embraced her as if she hadn't even been gone one day. The relationships she made in her life, were strong ... everyone really loved her. Especially me.
Baby Harriet with her grandma Dee Dee.
Betsy Banks
November 25, 2012
This is one of the best pictures of my great-grandmother, Dee Dee, that I've ever seen ... and it's because my Mama was the source of the smile. Mama was raised by both her mother and her grandmother, and she was very much loved ... from the time she was born until the time she died. There was certainly no one else that I ever loved more.
All the friends who loved her are a testament to her love and kindness. This is Harriet with Vee.
Betsy Banks
November 22, 2012
If I didn't have photographs of the beauty around me, I'm quite sure I would never see it again.
Betsy Banks
November 22, 2012
This is the first Thanksgiving of my life when my Mom doesn't exist in the world. Tears just keep on streaming down my face, for the loss of so, so great a love that can never be replaced.
You, were my greatest gift.
Betsy Banks
November 20, 2012
You've been gone for five months, and I'm still sobbing every single day. I can't be fixed – I'll never run right again – and nothing will ever seem beautiful again. But when I look at this picture of you, I am at least reminded of the beauty that was you.
She made it all seem so easy ...
Betsy Banks
November 18, 2012
This is a poem by Cindy Lynn, who has offered it up for anyone to use. All I could see as I read it was my Mama, and me running to her as a little girl.
"She ran to the tree and gather'd the blossoms, So fragrant and lovely, so pink in their hue. She laughed, then clapped, as petals fell o'er her,
Showering her soft cherub face with the dew.
She ran to her mama, with sweet chubby arms full, To give the present she'd picked, with such love. While Mama smiled softly, tears trickling slowly, Then, hugged the sweet child, embracing their love".
Scott Wilson
November 11, 2012
Harriet, I never knew you well personally, but I guess I knew you throught your daughter's huge heart. I'm glad you had Betsy with you to the end.
Baby Harriet Iris with her beloved mother, Harriet Rose.
Betsy Banks
November 10, 2012
When love between a mother and a child is unconditional and irrevocable, it is glorious. But one cannot imagine life without the other, so when they part forever ... they are never again complete. I miss you Mom - I'm broken in half, without you.
Harriet celebrating a friend's birthday ... the hostess with the mostest!
Betsy Banks
November 3, 2012
A grandma and her grand-daughter ... Mom and Katherine in a bear hug!
Betsy Banks
November 3, 2012
Mom and her beloved Shelty, Butter.
Betsy Banks
November 3, 2012
Mom's pets loved her so much. This is Barney, one of her cockers, greeting her with joy.
Betsy Banks
November 3, 2012
I'll keep feeding the birds for you, Mom.
Betsy Banks
October 29, 2012
I woke up to snow this morning, Mom. You always loved mornings like that - with the joy of a little girl at Christmas, you loved the pretty falling snow. I wish with all my heart, that you were here with me now.
Rowdy with cousin Nellie and her hubby Warren - enjoying an outing together :)
Betsy Banks
October 28, 2012
Betsy Banks
October 24, 2012
I'm trying to remember what she always used to say when life was painful ... "This too, shall pass." I miss you Mom.
This had to be one of her birthdays ... she was such a comedian!
Betsy Banks
October 23, 2012
Friend Midge ran Arthur Murray dance studio - Mom met my Daddy there:)
Betsy Banks
October 20, 2012
... holding you close in my heart.
Betsy Banks
October 20, 2012
October 20th, 2012
With every day,
I miss you more.
And now the months,
Are up to four …
Still hoping you'll walk
Through the door …
And come back home.
"I love you more".
Harriet with her life-long and beloved friend Francie.
Betsy Banks
October 20, 2012
Harriet and dear friend, Eileen.
Betsy Banks
October 20, 2012
Eric making his Nana laugh :)
Betsy Banks
October 19, 2012
Mom entertaining her very much loved friend and vet, Dave.
Betsy Banks
October 19, 2012
Mom and Misty, twenty years ago - a furry Mother's Day gift from me :) She misses sleeping under the covers at night with Mom :)
Betsy Banks
October 18, 2012
Sandi and Mom - happy times.
Betsy Banks
October 18, 2012
Harriet the Mom, with her three young girls, her mother Hallie, grandmother Dee Dee, and Uncle Jim.
Betsy Banks
October 18, 2012
Harriet enjoying a visit from her oldest daughter, Sandi, and her son-in-law, Doug.
Betsy Banks
October 18, 2012
Mom, me, Steve and Barbi ... one of many happy moments together.
Betsy Banks
October 17, 2012
October 14, 2012
You will be missed Harriet, truely a woman of class. We always enjoyed you and your pets. You treated them as members of the family. We know you are dressed beautifully and entertaining all your friends and enjoying life once again to its fullest. Luv ya
Gwen and Dave Spong
Red roses for my Mom.
Betsy Banks
October 12, 2012
I know so much more, now. My mother was amazing, and she was always right. It was instinct and intellect, both. She just knew if something was real or not, safe or not, right or not. I'm not sure she always knew where her feelings came from, but her feelings were her path and her light. And like I said, she was always right.
Betsy Banks
October 9, 2012
The present is crowded with the past - pinning me down - crushing me. Living without the love of my mother is suffocating.
the house we bought together on Hampshire Avenue in Minneapolis - many good memories between a mother and daughter.
Betsy Banks
October 7, 2012
My heart hurts so much - I have all the symptoms of a heart attack and much worse than ever before. The heart allows us to live, just as much so through feelings as in the physical world. I can feel mine dying. It's getting worse without her, every day, not easier.
Dad, me, David and Mom at my first wedding in their Florida house we all loved. What's with the hair?!
Betsy Banks
October 4, 2012
Well, Mama, David found me again :(
He sent his condolences. If he could write to you here, I know he'd make you laugh by calling you "Hot Rod Harriet!" the way he used to when you were driving :)
You were right about him, too, and as usual I say, "I should have listened to my mother!". But he did charm you like he did me - you always did care about him.
I drew this for Mama, and now its motionless flight can never reach her.
Betsy Banks
October 3, 2012
I love you.
I love you more.
I look for you on a distant shore.
Mama in February 2012 - wearing one of the sweaters I gave her - cozy in the Hillsville house.
Betsy Banks
October 2, 2012
We always made each other laugh - we found reason for joy in being together.
Betsy Banks
October 1, 2012
Heartache,
All its walls now caving in,
Stone cold,
All its warmth now growing dim.
And as the light goes out,
Memories,
All become bold,
While in my hands your smile I hold.
She tended to her garden like she did her loved ones - with love and care and joy.
Betsy Banks
October 1, 2012
When she wasn't staying with me, or when we weren't living together, I called her most every day, except when I was too ill and then it was twice a week, at least. I would give anything to hear that loving voice on the phone again. All she wanted was to be with me. I thought I was doing my best, but now there's nothing in the world I want more than just to be with her. I could have done even more. Do everything you can, people ... before it's too late.
Mama loved her gardening - and she was good at it - just like everything else.
Betsy Banks
September 30, 2012
I don't know how to live without my Mom - life no longer has a purpose. The flowers grow, and then they die.
Betsy Banks
September 28, 2012
With each day, it becomes more and more clear, that you, Mom, were the only one left who really, really loved me. There is a medical condition equivalent to "dying from a broken heart;" perhaps that will be my end.
I always knew she was beautiful, but I see incredible beauty now.
Betsy Banks
September 27, 2012
Maybe it's human nature not to, but I wish we all could have seen just how beautiful mother was, every day we were with her. There was an inner beauty inside her that outshines the stars themselves.
I admire you so, so much, Mom ... always did and always will. I showed you that love and admiration most of the time, but not always, I know. Sometimes I put myself first, and I regret every time I did that. The irony is that you were always right in those times, about what really was best for me. I was stupid. I should have listened to my mother.
I'm sorry, Mama ... you deserved so much more love and respect than you were given. I can't go back to fix it, and I can't stop my tears ... but I know that even with this, I loved you well. I have to believe you could feel that.
Mama - you are heavenly, beautiful and always full of light.
Betsy Banks
September 26, 2012
My father was a VERY smart man!!!
Betsy Banks
September 26, 2012
Such a lovely smile she had!
Betsy Banks
September 26, 2012
Sweet Harriet :)
Betsy Banks
September 26, 2012
Curly headed Bets looks a little like her Mom did in this shot when her hair was wet :)
Betsy Banks
September 26, 2012
Harriet enjoying a holiday at our friend, Renee's.
Betsy Banks
September 26, 2012
Always loved that snow!
Betsy Banks
September 26, 2012
Harriet by her fireplace in the Florida house she loved.
Betsy Banks
September 26, 2012
This dress was a deep rose color with a lighter pink center inlay - gorgeous!
Betsy Banks
September 26, 2012
I think this was taken in high school - cute :)
Betsy Banks
September 26, 2012
Harriet with her Glenn, just two weeks before he died in 1981.
Betsy Banks
September 26, 2012
I LOVE this picture - wow, Mom, you're gorgeous!
Betsy Banks
September 26, 2012
Bringing Betsy home in Grand Rapids :)
Betsy Banks
September 26, 2012
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