Helen Elizabeth Nolta

1947 - 2021

Helen Elizabeth Nolta, known to all as Beth and suspected by some to be D.B. Cooper, died Friday, August 27, 2021, at home, surrounded by her family and a disconcerting number of cell phones. She was suspected to be 74.

As far as the authorities know, Beth was born April 9, 1947, to Robert and Myrl Ellis, somewhere in northern California. The third of eight children, Beth had a relatively satisfying childhood despite never developing superpowers that she would admit to. Shortly after graduating high school, she married Clint Nolta and embarked on a wide-ranging career across multiple industries that records show was mostly focused on helping others. After nearly seven years of marriage, Beth and Clint had a son, Brandon, who made such a mess of things that it took nearly five years before they tried again and had a daughter, Courtney. The resulting team-up made Beth and Clint decide to stop while they were ahead.

Over the 28+ years of their marriage, Beth and Clint laughed, swore, fought, made up, moved more times than was healthy, and finally settled outside of Meridian, Idaho. Upon Clint's passing in 1995, Beth set out on a new phase of her life, returning to the workforce and preparing for a new challenge: grandmotherhood. The first of her three grandchildren was born in 1997, and she enjoyed spoiling her grandchildren and marveling at the weird stuff they would say; her oldest grandson's impression of an Austin Powers character amused her for decades. After nearly 20 years in Idaho, Beth decided the Gem State had lost its sheen, and moved to Oregon, living in John Day, Bend, and finally buying a home with her daughter in La Pine, where she lived out her final days.

Unless Beth is pulling a long con, she is survived by her son, Brandon (wife Paige); her daughter, Courtney; Brandon's children Nicodemus and Athena; and Courtney's son Raimi. She was preceded in death by her parents, her husband Clint, her brother David, her sisters Sharon and Pam, and David Bowie, whom she had zero connection with in any way but was probably very cool to know.

No services are planned, as she didn't care for get-togethers anyway.

Requiescat in pace, Mom.