PHYLLIS HAY

PHYLLIS HAY A very special lady passed away the day following her 96th birthday. She was my mother. She was born Phyllis Carlotta Luffey on March 13, 1913, in Meriden, CT. She was predeceased by her parents, Lilla Atkins and Charles Luffey, her husband, James Hay, her brother, Bradley Luffey and her sister, Vivian Oakes. She spent most of her life in Massachusetts with my father raising three girls. When my father had a debilitating stroke that left him speechless and paralyzed, she moved to Arizona where, she was advised, the climate would be better for his health. She bought land, built a house and cared for him without help until his death six years later in 1982. She took him everywhere she went, and I don't know how her little person was able to lift and transfer such a large man, but somehow she did it without complaining. When her sister's daughter lost both parents unexpectedly, Mom opened her home to her to live. She was a confidant to many, seen as a second mom because of her caring and loving ways. She received a degree in education from New Haven University and taught in New Haven until she moved to Boston where she taught at a private school on Newberry Street. She married my father in 1940 and worked as a bookkeeper for I J Fox Company until she became pregnant with her first child. She helped my father establish his business, Hay Dental Lab, Inc. in Boston's Back Bay. My father merged several times with other dental labs, eventually becoming owner and treasurer of Massachusetts Dental Prosthetics, Inc. This company became the largest business of its kind in the United States and for several years my mother served on its Board of Directors. Mom was quite athletic in her younger years: she was a cheerleader, earned her letters in basketball and volleyball in high school and played and taught tennis. She loved painting, mainly pastels and watercolor, and was offered a scholarship to study art, but when her mother became ill, she chose to forego her studies and return home to care for her. She also was active in charity work. She had an adventurous spirit. With my father and her three children, she camped around the United States. In later years, with her good friend and companion, she traveled the world, circumventing it several times. A few of her favorite places were Tahiti, which was her last trip at age 88, Alaska, Hawaii, Australia, New Zealand, Greece, Morocco, Italy, Denmark, Buenos Aires, Vietnam, Japan and China. At 81, she walked the Great Wall of China. She loved sewing, gardening, dancing, music, interior decorating and fashion. She was a Daughter of the American Revolution and New England Women. She came to live with me more than three years ago when her health began to decline. She quickly made friends with her smile and gracious ways. She loved Old Greenwich, especially Tod's Point where she could watch the birds and boats and smell the salt air, or bask in the sun while having a morning coffee and bagel. She was blessed to see the birth of two of her great grand-grandchildren and be the senior matriarch when four generations gathered to laugh, play and celebrate special occasions. She will be greatly missed by her daughters: Carol Foran of Sonoma, CA, Phyllis Rembaum of Old Greenwich, CT and Judith Oakland of Clarksville, TN, six grandchildren: Tenley Reyes, Nathan Foran, Marshall Foran, Ryan Rembaum, Erika Moeller and Jeffrey Oakland; four great-grandchildren: Madeleine Reyes, Tabitha Reyes, Michael Moeller, Jr., and Shayna Moeller; Jeff Foran, Michael Moeller, her son-in-laws, Ronald Rembaum and Ronald Oakland, sister-in-law, Dorothy Germaine, nieces, nephews and many friends. She left this world with her loved ones surrounding her. She will be buried next to my father in Woodbridge, CT in a private family ceremony. A service will be held at Gallagher Funeral Home in Stamford at 2900 Summer Street on Thursday, March 26, at 4:30 to celebrate her life. Flowers can be sent there. My mother supported many charities, so any donation which helps the world or others would please her.