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Amy Alsofrom Obituary
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Memories and Condolences
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Jim Mainuli
September 28, 2024
Amy so many yrs have gone by missing you on this earth hopefully will end someday when I hope I will get to that special and happier place your in
Shelley Topf
September 25, 2024
I miss you so much. The years have softened my pain but my heart will always keep you close.
Love,
Mom
James Mainuli
September 23, 2023
Amy so many yrs have past since you were taken from us I know you are happy and in a better place hopefully someday I will get there and we will meet again
Jim Mainuli
September 12, 2022
Amy another year has passed even though you are in a much better and happier place you are and will always be missed maybe someday we will get together in a better and special place
Bethany
September 10, 2022
I haven't thought of Monmouth Junction in a very long time. I happen to be going there today, so of course I was curious as to the whereabouts of my best friend the year that I lived there - Amy. We were 11 years old, neighbors and friends. She made my year as the new kid so much better knowing I had a friend. How devastating to learn of her passing at such a young age. I am so very sorry. I lost my mom this year and cry everyday. I can't imagine what it is like to lose a daughter or a sister. Please give my love to Amy's mom and to Stacy. I pray for your comfort, knowing that our loved one never truly leave us.
Bethany (we had the dog Whisper)
Mom
September 27, 2021
My sweet girl. 18 years ago tomorrow you passed away. Your family has grown, but your memory is kept alive through stories, pictures and laughter. I miss you so much. I'm content in my life, but my heart aches for you. I can feel your presence at times and it is so reassuring. Please give Nanny a hug from me. I feel okay knowing that you are together. You would be very proud of your nieces and nephews. They are all doing beautifully. Finding their own way in this world and making decisions about their future. Lilly is living in Charlotte - just where you told me you wanted to live someday - in NC. Zack is at home, finding his true path, most likely in computers. Alex is in NYC, going to school and working in the World Trade Center in a hotel! Ariana is in 6th grade and probably taller than me! Norm and I are in FL and doing ok. I love you!
Mom
Jim Mainuli
September 7, 2021
Amy another year is just about over I know you are happy in heaven but are still missed each and every day
Jim Mainuli
September 17, 2020
Amy almost another year has passed you are in a better place but that doesn't mean we don't miss you as much as the day God brought you to a better place
James Mainuli
September 19, 2019
Amy another yr has passed knowing you are in a better place and that you are looking down on us with a smiling face let's me know that our loss is heavens gain hope that someday I will meet you again in heavenj
James Mainuli
September 22, 2018
Amy another year has gone by the world is constantly changing and although you are not here you are in a better place
James Mainuli
September 26, 2017
Amy another year has passed I know you are happy in that special place up above you will never be forgotten as the special person you were
James Mainuli
September 26, 2017
Amy another year has passed I know you are happy in that special place up above you will never be forgotten as the special person you were
Shelley Topf
September 20, 2016
Dear sweet daughter,
Happy 38th birthday in heaven. How I miss you very single day, but I'm sure you know that. I wish I could hear your voice again, that sweet voice saying, "Hi Mom". I wish I could hear those big feet running up and down the stairs. I wish I could hear you screaming at Stacy again....can't believe I am saying that! the phone always ringing, the mess in your room, asking if we were having soup and salad for dinner....all those things that remind me of you.
Please come visit me in my dreams. I see signs all the time. I usually look at the clock and it says 6:16, my birthday. I see license plates with your initials or 978 or something that brings you to the front of my mind. it is reassuring.
I love you. I miss you. I would trade my life for yours in a heartbeat, but I wasn't given the choice. I would not have missed The Dance, your life.
Love,
Mom
Nanny Stull
September 19, 2016
Dearest Amy,
Tomorrow is your 38th birthday. I can remember when you were born, we all ran to the hosopital to see your beautiful face and a few days later we brought you home.
We forgot to take the formula bottle so on the way home, we stopped at a grocery store and bought the bottle - but you never cried.
Our love for you will never cease. G-d Bless You.
Nanny Stull
September 19, 2016
Dearest Amy,
Tomorrow is your 34th birthday. We will all remember running to the hospital to see your beautiful face and a few days later bringing you home. We were so excited that we forgot to take a bottle in case you cried - so we stopped at a grocery store and bought a bottle with the right formula already in it. You will always be loved and in our prayers.
Jim Mainuli
September 18, 2016
Amy you and my niece Debbie are missed each day but you in a happier and better place I can only hope someday I will be there with you and share only good times and happiness together until then you will never be forgotten
Shelley Topf
September 29, 2015
Dearest sweet daughter,
Yesterday marked the 12th anniversary of your passing. People say the years make things easier but on these very special dates, nothing assuages my tormented soul. I miss you so very much.
I saw the sign you sent me yesterday....the 616 on the license plate. I see those numbers all the time - my birthday numbers. On the clocks, on bridges while driving down the highway, so many places. I have decided that it is your way of telling me "hi". It puts a smile on my face, so I have accepted this as a sign.
Stacy got engaged to Rah in September! He is a good man and a great father. She is very happy. Your nieces and nephews are growing up. I wish they had gotten the chance to spend more time with you. I know you wish the same with the love of children so deep in your heart. You would be very proud of them.
Poppy is having heart valve surgery on Thursday. Please do your angel thing and watch over him and his doctors. Stay with Nanny and hold her hand.
I love you. I miss you. I am so sad you are not here with us.
Love,
Mom
Jim Mainuli
September 28, 2015
Amy two weeks ago my niece Debbie went to heaven after a long terminal illness although she lived 53 yrs she was sick all her life and was taken care of by great care givers and her family she is now up there with you two special people who were taken to early yet both of you are in a better happier place I miss you both God bless both of you
Jim Mainuli
September 25, 2014
Amy another year has past you were taken away so soon this world would be a much better place if you were here but the angels are happy that you became one of them in heaven
Samuel Sherrow
March 5, 2014
Back when I worked at Camp Ingersoll, Amy was on my county wide scavenger hunt team. That was a great memory and a lot of fun. I just came across this today (3/5/2014). This was quite a surprising shock. My condolensces for her friends and family. She was a very bright light.
Shelley Topf
December 12, 2013
I love you! I miss you!
Karl Mitchell
December 11, 2013
I knew you for a limited time, and now wish I was a stronger man!
Jim Mainuli
September 28, 2013
Amy another yr has passed without you on this planet called earth you are missed yet where you are is a much better place. We know you are happy and can only hope someday we will share that special happiness with you until that day Amy you will never be forgotten as the wondefull women that blessed us when you were alive
Amy's high school graduation picture
Shelley Topf
September 20, 2013
Happy 35th birthday in heaven sweet daughter of mine. How could you be 35....you are always 25 in my mind. I miss you so much. I hurt with you gone. I hope you are busy taking care of all the little ones in heaven because I know that they need you. I love you!! Please come visit me in my dreams....
Love,
Mom
Jim Mainuli
September 28, 2012
Amy 9 years ago God took a very special person from this world, you are in a better place but will always be missed from those who knew you when you were here
Shelley Topf
September 21, 2012
Thank you Joelle!! How beautiful...I am going to share that picture with some of my friends. I feel your hug!
Joelle Stewart
September 20, 2012
Happy Birthday!! We brought you your Birthday Balloon!! JD visited too. Love & Miss You Joelle
September 26, 2011
Amy tomorrow I am heading to Orlando if you were never there I am sure you would have loved going to Disney and having fun but god took you from us at such an early age yet I believe you are in a better happier place you may be gone but not forgotten Jim Mainuli
Joelle Stewart
September 21, 2011
Happy Birthday Amy!! Brought You a Birthday Balloon!! Love Joelle
September 30, 2010
Amy, Thought of you on Tuesday(well everyday really). It was raining that day so I visited yesterday. Much better day when the sun is shining. Love & Miss You Joelle
Amy, Mother's Day 2003
Shelley Topf
September 28, 2010
Dearest daughter,
Today marks your 7th heaven anniversary, last week was your 32nd birthday. Time has not healed our wounded hearts. Time has made it softer, our pain. Each and every day I think of you with love and with longing.
I wonder, like the song, Who you'd be today? What would you name your babies? How those beautiful brown eyes of yours would look upon the faces of your children with such love...like the way I looked at you.
Do you know that Stacy had a little baby girl born in June? She named her after you - her name is Ariana Lynn. She is beautiful, just like her Auntie Amy. Ariana brings me joy, knowing that Stacy will share your story with this little girl.
I love you my daughter!! I miss you so much! The hole in our lives will never be sealed, the pain in my heart will never go away.
We'll be back in CT on Friday...I will visit your grave over the week-end!!
Love,
Mom
Jim Mainuli
September 27, 2010
Amy the days go by yet a special person like you is always remembered, you touched so many in such a positive way I will always remember that
Joelle Stewart
September 21, 2010
Happy Birthday Amy. Went to visit you yesterday. Love & miss you
Love Joelle & Family
Joelle Stewart
September 29, 2009
Thinking of you on a beautiful Fall day. Nicole and I visited yesterday and left a yellow rose as always on this day. Six years have passed but we will always remember. We Love and Miss you.
Love Joelle & Family
Mom
September 27, 2009
Amy, tomorrow is your 6th heaven anniversary. Tomorrow is also Yom Kippur, a very solemn day for the Jewish people. It is a day that will certainly match my mood, one of introspection, grief, atonement for my sins, all those types of things. There is a special time during the service where we pray especially for those who have passed....it is called Yiskor. I will pray for you and the family during this service. Yiskor is very hard emotionally, but since tomorrow is your heaven date, the day itself is very hard.
I love you Amy. I think of you so much, I pray for you so much, I wish you were here - I would have gladly traded the time I had left to give you more....
Be well my daughter. May your soul rest in peace and may the rest of us find some.
Love,
Mom
Jim Mainuli
September 21, 2009
Amy many days have passed since god took you from this planet called earth to a much better and happier place yet the fact you are not here to share the many gifts and qualities god gsve you is as hard to understand today as it was the day you left us. I want you to know you are missed and will never be forgotten and I csn only hope we will meet again in that very special world filled with special people like you,
Janice Shankman
September 21, 2009
I thought about you yesterday. Not only b/c the second day of Rosh Hashanah is your day in my mind, but b/c it fell on a Sunday this year (as it did 6 years ago) and a nearby town was having their fair (as they did 6 years ago). It always gives me shivers at the service b/c we say yartzeit at around 12:45...so close to the time we lost you. Too many similarities made ysterday extra rough. I couldn't speak for the beginning of yartzeit...then I got it together enough to speak. Until Lilly saw me crying & hugged me....at that point I was done...I started crying again and couldn't finish. They don't remember you any more....the kids don't....so I talk about you. This weekend Rob & the kids took down the swingset in the back yard. I remember you visiting and pushing Zack in his baby swing...maybe when you came for his first birthday? I told the kids about that & they smiled...and that's all I can do. You'll never be forgotten.
Mom
September 20, 2009
To Amy on her 31st birthday
Today you would be 31 years old,
for sure a wife and Mom.
I imagine you with babes in arms,
handling all with such aplomb!
I see those eyes of shining brown,
looking upon your kiddies so little.
Such love and understanding
One hanging around your middle!
They look like you, these grandchildren!
The ones I’ll never see.
The ones I’ll never get to hug & kiss
And sing to them while on my knee.
Oh Amy, why can’t my imaginings be true?
Why did you have this insidious disease?
Why did you have to die so young,
Can you tell me, pretty please???
The pain has gotten softer,
I accept your physical absence in my life.
I pray to the heavens above
asking you to help us in our strife.
Life is not easy for us,
some in the family have such pain.
We pray to you to help us,
help us to stay sane.
Your family feels so alone at times,
without you being here each day.
Guidance and your love from above
have helped us find our way.
Stacy just turned 27 last week,
a week before your today.
She is older than you now,
that should never have been, no way!
I miss my daughter, my Amy.
I miss watching as you grew….
I miss the normal things
that Mothers & daughters do.
I miss the times we shopped
Stacy, you and me.
We shared all the sales at Big Y
Laughing and being so naïve and free!
I miss the times you both made me
a Mother’s Day feast like no other!
I was so proud of both of you…
My daughters taking care of their mother!
Amy, I’m sending up balloons to you
To Heaven, they shall go.
The winds will take them here and there
Depending on how they blow.
Happy Birthday my daughter!
May you have a special day!
I hope some angel makes you a cake
And birthday games you’ll play.
I hope you get to dance a bit
and have a beer or two.
Know that your family’s birthday wishes
Come straight from the heart to you!
With Love,
Mom
Shelley Topf
January 5, 2009
Jim, your words mean a lot to me and I appreciate you taking the time to share them. After 5 years, it is wonderful for us to know that people are still thinking about our daughter and realize just how special she was - and still is. Our sadness is tempered by people like you.
Thanks!
Amy's Mom, Shelley
Jim Mainuli
January 3, 2009
Amy I only knew you as a realtor and only for a brief time yet to this day I remember how special you were. I pray for you each sunday but I believe your in a better place. This world lost a special person when you left but you will never be forgotten Jim
Ina Stull
December 6, 2008
Dearest Amy, I just read your mom's message to you. Poppy & I also was watching the movie "Meet Me In St. Louis" on TV last night. It's really a classic and very enjoyable. I didn't know that was a favorite of yours. I always knew you had good taste.
We're leaving for Florida in ten days where it's nice and warm. Whoopie!
You are never far from our thoughts. Though you are not physically with us, you will always be part of our family. I see your beautiful picture and I start talking to you. I hope you can hear me.
Amy, we'll love you forever and ever.
Nanny & Poppy
Mom
December 5, 2008
Dearest Amy,
It is December and my mood is so bleak. This is the 6th winter holiday without you - I can't stand it. Tonight the tv is playing your favorite holiday movie - "Meet me in St. Louis." You used to watch that movie during the holidays every single year and laugh and cry and I would watch it with you whenever I could. I don't know which of the female roles you most felt in tune with, but boy you loved that movie. It hurts my mom heart to see it on tv and know that you can't watch it.
Amy, I am so blue and I am trying so hard not to let anybody know. They think after 5 years, I should be able to live okay with my grief - and mostly I can....but not now.
I miss you so much. I want to hug you and hold you and talk to you....please help me get through this time of year and really, all year through.
I love you!
Debi Baker
September 28, 2008
Amy,
You don't know me but my daughter has joined you and through that I have met your mom. She really needs your love tonight. Through your mom, you've have captured many hearts.
Mom
September 28, 2008
Dearest Daughter,
It is now after midnight, so it is officially September 28, 2008. You have been gone from us for 5 years today. It is a sad time for me, so close to your birthday and just so wrong for you to be in heaven.
The Temple is having their pre-High Holiday service at the cemetery tomorrow at 11. Norm and I were supposed to leave Block Island yesterday, giving us plenty of time to get there. There were 2 storms that hit New England and the ferry wasn't running....so we are still here, leaving today at 1 p.m. I emailed the new Rabbi and he is going to say a special prayer for you at your grave. I am very grateful for that and he said that it would be an honor and that your memory is a blessing. How true....
I love and miss you very much Amy. I honor your memory and your life and try to live my life in order to bring a blessing to yours.
Happy New Year my beautiful Amy. May you please come to visit me in my dreams. I look at your pictures and see those big brown eyes light up the pictures and light up my heart, too.
Love,
Mom
Joelle Stewart
September 20, 2008
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY!!!
Thinking of how we would have celebrated your 30th. Big surprise party!!! We think of you and feel your presence often. Like at the cemetery. The beautiful deer we always seem to see when we go and visit. Happy 30th Birthday!!! We love & miss you.
Love Joelle & Family
Ina Stull
September 20, 2008
To Our Dearest Amy,
Today is your 30th birthday. It still seems impossible to understand why you are not here with us. But please know, you are never forgotten. Poppy and I went to Temple last night and said a special prayer for you. We have been going to Friday night services all the time now and I always say a silent prayer for you. I hope you hear me.
We love you "Ams" and miss your cheerful voice.
Love always and forever,
Nanny & Poppy
Mom
September 20, 2008
To Amy on her 30th Birthday
To celebrate your birthday
that just doesn’t seem right.
You aren’t here to blow out the candles
that should be burning ever so bright.
There ought to be friends and family
all around the house.
Instead it is just me and the dog,
everything’s as quiet as a mouse.
Norm went off sailing,
I am happy for him.
alone was what I wanted
able to follow every whim.
I plan to walk the beach today
to send this wish to you.
To throw it deep in the ocean
with water just so blue.
The water and the sky match in shade
blue is the theme of the day.
Goes along with my mood that’s for sure
On this your 30th birthday.
My dear sweet, big brown eyed girl,
you’ve been gone for almost 5 years.
Years of such anguish and pain
and a constant river of tears.
I’ve come to a place in my grief
where I know that you are okay.
It’s just that I am left behind
to struggle each and every day.
Most days I do what I need to do
without falling to my knees.
These “special” days are what breaks my heart
Amy, you understand this, please?
Stacy and Alex, he’s 7 now!
Balloons they are bringing to you.
Flying high in the sky to send
Birthday love and wishes so true.
It’s hard to imagine you at 30.
Would you be married with a baby?
Two babies, I like to think and pretend
With eyes just like my Amy.
A smile on your face so wide,
in your heart, love and joy.
Happiness and contentment in your life
With your sweet little girl and boy.
That was my dream for you,
a dream I had to let go.
For G-d had other plans for you,
That nobody did know.
Happy Birthday my daughter,
So young, forever 25…..
My wish for you every day
is that you were still alive.
I’ll learn to live on without you,
it does get easier they say.
Always though you are in my thoughts and prayers
And in my heart each and every day.
I love you Amy.
Love,
Mom
Janice Shankman
September 1, 2008
Amy will never be forgotten. Her picture is still hanging on our wall, and she's still talked about by our family.
I see glimpses of her in Lilly's profile. If she wears her hair a certain way and I catch her profile from a certain angle....I see Amy SO clearly.
Mom
August 31, 2008
Please don't ask me if I'm over it yet. I'll never be over it.
Please don't tell me Amy's in a better place. She isn't with me.
Please don't say at least she isn't suffering. I still have a hard time believing that she was sick at all.
Please don't tell me you know how I feel unless you have lost a child.
Please don't ask me if I feel better.
Bereavement isn't a condition that goes away with time.
Please don't tell me at least you had her for 25 years. What year would you choose for your child to die?
Please don't tell me God never gives us more than we can bear.
Please just tell me you are sorry.
Please just say you remember Amy, if you do.
Please just let me talk about her.
Please mention Amy by name and share some of your special memories.
Please just let me cry. It is September, after all.....
Mom
August 28, 2008
Dearest Amy,
Yesterday was Norm's birthday. He is 68 years old. Janice was here on Block Island with Lilly and Zack. You wouldn't believe how big and grown up Lilly is - she is 9 1/2! Janice keeps thinking she sees you in Lilly's profile, I keep looking and wanting to see you so badly, I think Janice is right. Lilly is a preteen with all the attitude, you'd be so proud! Zack is a character, so witty and funny and never stops talking. You would have enjoyed being here with us this week, I know that for sure.
We'll be leaving Block in another 5 weeks, slowly heading towards Florida for another winter. The problem is the month of September....you would be turning 30 this year and you've been gone for 5 years a week after your birthday.
How would you be at 30? Would you be somebody's wife? Would you be somebody's Mommy? Would you be working in real estate still? Would you look so much more mature than you did at 25? So many questions, no real answers....
Time hasn't made my life without you easy. I can laugh, dance and be silly, but there is this big hole in my heart that will never heal.
Where was it written that a mother should have to bury her child? Why did you not know you were sick? I make myself crazy with all the "what ifs"....
I love you. I will always love you. I will always miss you. I will always "talk" to you about what's going on until the day comes when I can talk to you directly...face to face in heaven.
I have a few more days before August leads into my nemesis September....the month that you were born and made me a Mommy has become the month that I dread. Stacy will be 26 in about 2 weeks, you barely made 25.
I love you Amy!!
Mom
May 11, 2008
Dear Amy,
Happy Mother's Day honey! I am sure that you and Stacy would have put together some surprise for me on this Mother's Day, like you two have so many times before! This time it would be tricky as Norm and I are in Utah, but knowing you and Stacy, something fun would have happened.
Today is the 5th Mother's Day I have spent with you in heaven. I tried very hard to pretend this was just another Sunday and for the most part, it worked. People see a woman of a certain age and automatically assume that they would like to be wished Happy Mother's Day....and I guess for the most part, they would be right.
I wish you were here to spend time with me. I wish you were here to call me. I wish you were here so I could wish you a Happy Mother's Day, too....as I assume you would be married and have at least 1 child by now.
I love you Amy. I miss you so much.
Please come visit me in my dreams.
Love,
Mom
Christine, Luke's Mom
January 6, 2008
Dear Amy,
I love looking at all your pictures from beginning to end. You are so beautiful and so happy. I know that you and Luke are having a wonderful time in heaven. Take care sweetie and give Luke a hug for me.
Love,
Christine, Luke's mom 1979 -2001
Mom
December 28, 2007
Dear Sweet Amy,
I guess by now you have found our dog Rags by your side in heaven. Poor Raggy was so sick that today I did something I never thought I could do....I put him to sleep. I am feeling so alone right now without my dog, but he deserved to die with some dignity.
Amy, Raggy helped me so much with his love and devotion when you died. He was a lifeline for me, I could cry and talk to him and he would just give me kisses.
So now my dear, would you please take care of him in heaven? The last thing I told him was to make sure he found you in heaven and to tell you how much I love you. Now I need for you to tell him how much I love him, too.
I miss you Amy!
Love,
Mom
December 25, 2007
Merry Christmas Amy! I have memories of Christmas past with you and Stacy and I am overwhelmed with sadness and bittersweet smiles.
Particularly I am remembering when you were in Kindergarten, on stage with your class, singing "The 12 Days of Christmas". There were 12 of you holding signs with pictures of your "gift" - you were holding the 6th day's gift. As the chorus sang your "day", the student was supposed to raise their sign. Amy, you didn't understand the concept and most of the time when it was the 6th day, you were not raising your sign. You raised it on the 4th day, the 7th day, the 12th day - until you finally got it right! The whole audience started cheering and clapping - you burst into tears!! It was so funny - for me but I guess you were scared. I'll never forget that... I have pictures of that musical and it makes me smile.
I hope you and the other angels have a wonderful day and please come visit me in my dreams!
Mom
December 5, 2007
Happy Chanukah, Amy!! I wish you were here with me to light the candles and make latkes. I know how much you loved them....the kind that little Nanny used to make, the finely grated potatoes with just the right touch of onion!
I miss you so much. It isn't right that I am still here and you are still not....
Poppy is going to be 80 years old in about 2 weeks. Nobody is making him a party, but Nanny is taking him out for a nice dinner with their friends. Maybe you could visit him in his dreams for his birthday???
Be well my daughter. Celebrate Chanukah with all the other angels in heaven.
Love,
Mom
November 28, 2007
Dearest Amy,
Tonight they are lighting the Christmas Tree at the Rockefeller Center in New York. I have the most beautiful picture of you and John, from December 2002, in front of the tree. You looked so beautiful, so happy, so healthy.....how could we all be so wrong? How could we know that in a short 9 months later, you would die from heart disease? You were just 25 years old Amy....
Once again, it is the holiday time without you. I remember when you and Stacy were so young and the Toys 'R Us catalog would come in the paper. You used to spend hours looking at all the toys, circling the ones you wanted. I used to ask Nanny and Poppy to help out so you would get a few of those cherished gifts. The excitement of that time of year, with the two of you running around, laughing....now I send Stacy a check to buy for Alex and that's that. No more Chanukah parties with the family, no more excitement - just pure dread. I wish I could sleep away December and wake up in January sometime.
New Year's Eve is just horrible. I think it is absolutely the worst holiday in the whole year, except for your birthday and heaven day. When 2003 ended and 2004 began, I realized that there would never be any more years with you in it. To realize that we are going into 2008 now, it is just too painful for me.
I love you Amy. I miss you so much. I feel as if my body is just a shell, and my being - my soul I guess - is just gone. I am hollow....I can pretend, I can smile, but it isn't real at all.
Please come visit me in my dreams.
Love,
Mom
November 24, 2007
Dearest Amy,
This is the 2nd time in a row I've written something to you in this guest book and it just never showed up....oh well, I'll just rewrite it!
I wrote you on Thanksgiving, telling you all about our day. Our Thanksgiving was in our clubhouse in Florida with 50 of our neighbors, some we know, others we don't. Norm had to leave at 4 p.m. to go to work at Disney, but he was there for about an hour of the dinner. We all had to bring something so I made this sweet potato casserole for the first time. I didn't have a mixer so I tried putting it together with a whisk, but that didn't work. So I borrowed a mixer, but it "threw" the potato mixture all over the kitchen. That did it for me, I just broke down....Amy, I hate these holidays without you. I keep trying to pretend that I am just fine, but the truth is that I will never be fine again - all I can hope for is to be able to pretend.
I've been overwhelmed with memories flooding my brain this past week, I keep seeing you - how you would stand up from wherever you were sitting and take your hands to push your jeans down over your knees, how you would throw your head down to fluff up your hair, how you would wrinkle up your nose whenever somebody wanted to take a picture, how you always had a scrunchie around your wrist, how you would make your upper lip sneer like Elvis if you were angry and didn't want to voice your opinion and on and on and on. I keep seeing you in your car, the last time I saw you alive, when you picked me up at the condo to take me to the doctor's. You had the biggest grin on your face, you were so happy! Little did you know that you would die 4 days later. Little did anybody know that our lives would be forever ripped apart. I'm so sorry honey....
I love you and miss you so much. I hope you are happy in heaven and please come visit me in my dreams.
Love,
Jessica Cruz
November 14, 2007
My heart goes out to the entire family that has lost this beautiful young lady.May you find peace in your precious memories of Amy.
Mom
September 24, 2007
To Amy on her 29th birthday
Today celebrates your birthday,
29 years ago you were born.
You aren’t here to blow out your candles
No gift wrap to be torn.
No thoughts of mine for what to buy,
No hours spent at the mall.
No “Thanks so much Mom” for me to hear.
No party, no people I have to call.
No more joyful laughter
echoing through the house.
No constant ringing of the phone.
It’s as quiet as a mouse.
No clomping up the steps,
No running down the hall.
No knocks at the door,
No friends coming over at all.
Instead I cry my tears
for what we had before.
For all that we have lost,
When all we want is more.
More time to spend together,
more time for you to grow.
You were just at the cusp of your life
that should have been yours to know.
Your family misses you so much,
we are not who we were before.
There is this big gaping hole in our lives,
That keeps hurting more and more.
Oh my daughter, You are 29
Now in heaven, Happy Birthday to you.
I hope you are dancing and laughing
Would you please send me a clue?
Send me a sign, anything to
let me know you are okay.
I must find a way to survive
each and every painful day.
I wonder who you’d be today,
A wife and a Mom, I bet.
I know that you’d be happy
with the love that you had met.
All I can do is imagine
if that day had never come,
That awful day in September
The day that you succumbed.
The day G-d took you from us,
The 4th anniversary is just next week,
The day my nightmare started,
I never knew I could feel so bleak.
I miss you so, my daughter
I want to hug you tight.
I want to hear your sweet voice,
every single night.
I want to see you each morning,
Have lunch with you and yours,
I yearn to hear about your day,
Please open Heaven’s doors!
September 20, 2007
Love,
Joelle Stewart
September 21, 2007
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY!!
Another beautiful sunny day.As you would have loved it.I think you have something to do with that. Thinking of you always.
Love Joelle & family
Mom
September 20, 2007
To Amy on her 29th birthday
Today celebrates your birthday,
29 years ago you were born.
You aren’t here to blow out your candles
No gift wrap to be torn.
No thoughts of mine for what to buy,
No hours spent at the mall.
No “Thanks so much Mom” for me to hear.
No party, no people I have to call.
No more joyful laughter
echoing through the house.
No constant ringing of the phone.
It’s as quiet as a mouse.
No clomping up the steps,
No running down the hall.
No knocks at the door,
No friends coming over at all.
Instead I cry my tears
for what I had before.
For all that we have lost,
When all we want is more.
More time to spend together,
more time for you to grow.
You were just at the cusp of your life
that should have been yours to know.
Your family misses you so much,
we are not who we were before.
There is this big gaping hole in our lives,
That keeps hurting more and more.
Oh my daughter, the 29 year old Amy.
Now in heaven, Happy Birthday to you.
I hope you are dancing and laughing
Would you please send me a clue?
Send me a sign, anything to
let me know you are okay.
I must find a way to survive
each and every painful day.
I wonder who you’d be today,
A wife and a Mom, I bet.
I know that you’d be happy
with the love that you had met.
All I can do is imagine
if that day had never come,
That awful day in September
The day that you succumbed.
The day G-d took you from us,
The 4th anniversary is just next week,
The day my nightmare started,
I never knew I could feel so bleak.
I miss you so, my daughter
I want to hug you tight.
I want to hear your sweet voice,
every single night.
I want to see you each morning,
Have lunch with you and yours,
I yearn to hear about your day,
Please open Heaven’s doors!
Happy Birthday to you.
Love,
Mom
September 14, 2007
Dearest Amy,
This is a very emotional month for me. This week we had the 6th anniversary of September 11th. We remember how you called us from work as we were here on Block. You were so upset and told us to quickly turn on the tv. We spoke many times that day, I so wanted my family together on that day (and all days). Jan and the kids were here that day and we watched the events unfold together. It was a hard day, but not as hard a day that would be my future in just a few years.
Yesterday was Stacy's 25th birthday. In one more week, she will be older than you ever got to be. It just breaks my already shattered heart. I pray that Stacy will have a long life and I will be nervous until she passes that landmark 25 years and 8 days, as far as you got. I wish and pray that you would be able to celebrate your 29th birthday next week with us, instead of with the angels in heaven.
Yesterday was also the beginning of Rosh Hashanah and today is your Jewish 4th heaven anniversary. I have lit a yahrzeit candle in your honor and it still burns on top of the stove.
I miss you and love you so much. I just don't understand how you could be gone from us, I still fight the reality of your death. I would do anything to have changed the course of your history, your health and our lives without you.
I love you. Please come visit me in my dreams, please??
Mom
August 28, 2007
Dearest Amy,
September is right around the corner...and so is your 4th heaven anniversary. Oh honey, it's not getting any easier for me. The reality that I will not see you again in this lifetime beats me up inside. I miss you so much, I think of you almost constantly and I still cry.
So many people don't want to hear about my pain, my loss and I can't stand that. If they would walk in my shoes for 5 minutes, they would understand the pain I am in. They cannot tell me that I should heal, they cannot tell me how I should feel - they just don't know and thank G-d for that.
Lilly and Zack, with Jan & Rob, have spent the past week with us on Block Island. We've had a nice time, I watch them and think about how much I wish you could see them now. They are such good kids, I know that you are proud to be their aunt. It hurts Amy, it hurts to have all these occasions that you can't share in. I can't help but be sad, especially in September.
Stacy and Alex are coming up this week-end, Labor Day. He is starting 1st grade tomorrow! I hope he gets good teachers. I can't wait to see him on Friday and how I wish you would be here, too.
Stacy is turning 25 in 2 weeks. You died 8 days after you turned 25. Your younger sister will soon be older than you ever got to be. Even still, you will always be the older sister in my mind. Please watch out for her, okay??
I love you. I miss you. I would give anything to have you back with us. It is so sad....and so am I, your mother.
Be well my daughter. Please come to me in my dreams, it's been so long since I've heard your sweet voice.
Love,
Mom
Edie Albarado
June 21, 2007
Shelley, Amy is so beautiful. I know how much you miss her. I felt so touched after viewing her pictures. What a beautiful tribute for such a beautiful young woman. Amy was 5 days older than my Jason. I know they are together watching out for us now. Thank you for sharing your precious Amy with me. Love, Edie, Jason's Mom(GP)
Mom
June 2, 2007
Dear Amy,
Last night I finally watched one of your favorite movies, "Sweet Home Alabama". I could see you enjoying that movie so much - the country music, the line dancing, the good looking Southern boys, the love story behind the movie - I pictured your face with a big smile on it. I could also "hear" you calling it with your way of pronouncing Alabama, like you were from down there. It put a smile on my face and I only cried once. I am glad I finally got up the strength to watch it. I felt you very close to me.
We're on Block Island now. The weather is turning beautiful, I've been working very hard in the garden, we've been cleaning and emptying boxes still from the condo. I have your pretty chairs that you used for extra seating in the little den, with one of your wooden snack tables in between them. I put your things everywhere, it helps me cope. Upstairs, I have your bed and bedcovers in one of the bedrooms and I made sure to paint it what I call "Amy Green" color. I pretend it is your bedroom. I think you'd like it....I go up there when I need some solace and quiet and it calms my soul. Raggy usually comes too and he snores on your bed!
Mother's Day came and went, that is a very tough day for me. Stacy and Alex met us at Town Line Diner in Rocky Hill and had breakfast together. She bought me some great Origins creams...too much money but they are really nice. We're going to take care of Alex the week before his 6th birthday here on Block. That should be a lot of fun!
Be well my daughter. I miss you so much. We're going on 4 years now and you would be 29 this year. I wish we could have traded places, you deserved to have your life.
Love,
Mom
Mom
April 26, 2007
Dearest Amy,
Today is your nephew Zachary's 6th birthday. We are in Leesburg and I miss you so much. I know that you would be here for his birthday.
I have a great picture of you in their backyard and I went and stood on the place where you were standing, trying so hard to feel your presence. I was imagining you standing there, holding Zachary's hand - I think he was just a year old in the picture - and wanting to feel your "vibes". It didn't work, but I felt good knowing your feet were once where my feet were today.
This week-end is your cousin Matt's Bar Mitzvah! He is 13 years old now...a big kid! I will miss you so much at the family gathering, your absence will be like a hole in our family's fabric. I will make sure that I am wearing a piece of your jewelry so that you can be there in some way, too. I will sign the card with your name on it as well - Cousin Angel Amy. I know that you would have been there if you could.
We will be moving back onto Block Island in a few weeks. I have been shopping and buying stuff for the house. I wish you would be able to visit us.
It is time for Zachary's party....I love you!
Lyndie Sorenson
January 1, 2007
((((Shelley))))
I am visiting your beautiful daughter today on the first day of 2007. Each year that passes just deepens the love we have for our children. I am certain that Joey is keeping Amy laughing and smiling until you arrive
Much love
Lyndie
Joey and Amy heavenly buddies
Mom
December 25, 2006
Dearest daughter,
Today is Christmas, 2006. It is our 4th holiday season without you and my tears have been rolling down my face for the past few weeks. Nanny & Poppy had their Chanukah party this year, I think it is the first since you passed away. I am glad I wasn't there, my heart just isn't into parties very much.
I was spending some time thinking about holidays memories and remembered the time that Stacy thought she had tricked Santa Claus. Do you remember that time?
It was when Stacy was 5 and you were 9, Chanukah was overlapping Christmas Day. Christmas Eve, I noticed that Stacy was running around the house, putting all the Chanukah decorations away. She shoved them under the chairs, put an afghan over some, put the menorah in the dryer!! - just basically rid the house of anything pertaining to the fact that we were Jewish.
I still had some Chanukah gifts left thankfully! I had 2 red sleds that I knew you and Stacy wanted. So....when you two went to bed, after hanging up stockings on the fireplace and leaving out a plate of milk and cookies, I put the sleds by the fireplace. Stacy woke you up around 5 a.m. and you both went down the stairs very quietly. All of a sudden, I heard Stacy shouting, "We did it. We did it!! We tricked Santa!!!" She was so excited and you, being a great older sister who no longer believed in Santa, didn't tell Stacy about Santa - you let her have her fantasy. Even at 9, you had a maturity about you!
I spoke to Stacy this morning, to hear about Alex's Christmas morning, the tree, the gifts and all of that. He wouldn't come to the phone, he was too busy!! Oh Amy, how I wish you could be there with them. How I wish you were able to fly down to FL and spend some time with us. I miss you so much.
I hope you are having a holiday party in heaven with all of your angel friends. I know you will be out there, doing Country Line Dancing and listening to your favorite country music. I play it a lot, too....it makes me feel closer to you.
Be well my daughter and come visit me in my dreams, okay?
Happy Holidays and I am sending you kisses and hugs.
Love,
Mom
Janice Shankman
November 17, 2006
There are 2 days that I miss you the most. One is the second day of Rosh Hashanah. That is the day you died on the Hebrew calendar. Since I'm already feeling solemn & introspective, that day just feels natrual to observe your passing.
The other day is the day after Thanksgiving. I remember 4 years ago when you & John, Dad & your mom, and the PA Jacobsons came for Thanksgiving. The morning after, you, me & Liz went to the outlet mall at 7AM when they opened. I had always gone alone, and honestly, wasn't really looking forward to sharing my "alone" shopping time. But we ended up having a blast! Liz got sucked into a shoe outlet, so you & I went off on our own. Not like we did anything extraordinary....you looked at purses in Nine West, and then you bought a few pairs of "The World's Softest Sock" (my FAVORITE socks!!) from the L'Eggs outlet. We just walked around and talked and had fun. When it started getting crowded at the mall, we decided we didn't want to go home yet (it was probably 10 or 11AM) so we went out to IHOP to eat and talk some more.
That event really stands out to me because that is the first time I really felt a connection to you as someone more than the daughter of the woman who married my dad. That was the first time that I felt like you really could become my little sister with some more time spent together.
Obviously, time was not on our side. Last year was the first time I went back to the mall since that day. Being there again, especially on that date, was so hard. I felt like it should have been you & me & Liz again....like last time.
The outlet mall has lost much of its appeal to me. I know you'd be horrified that I let memories of you ruin shopping at an outlet mall for me - so I'm determined to go back & hope it will be fun again one day!
So I'll be back at the outlets on the day after Thanksgiving again...I know I'll miss you - but I know you'd want me shopping for Lilly & Zack AND saving money!
Ina Stull
October 6, 2006
Dearest Amy,
It's Nanny again. I want to thank you for sending a message to your Mom. I told her that because of her intense saddness, she is making it hard for you to be happy in Heaven. She had a dream the other night and you told her to go on living. You will be OK when you see her smile again. Take care of all those little children up there - they need you.
I'll always love you Amy.
Love Nanny
Mom
September 30, 2006
I love you Amy! I miss you so much, 3 years later the ache and pain is just as intense. I hope you are happy in heaven and doing okay.
Tomorrow starts Yom Kippur. There is a part of the service called Yiskor, the prayers for the dead. I will be praying for you and missing you so much.
I love you!!
Mom
Ina Claire (Nanny) Stull
September 24, 2006
Dearest Amy, Today is your 3rd anniversary up in heaven with G-d. Three years is a long time but I can still hear your voice when you called me on the phone - "hello Nanny" and I would answer "hi Ams". I went to Temple this morning and prayed for you and asked G-d to grant some peace to your Mom. We all miss you terribly will love you forever.
Joelle Stewart
September 20, 2006
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY!
Went to visit you today. It's a beautiful sunny Birthday. Feeling your sunshine on all of us. Thinking of you always.
Love Joelle
Mom
September 20, 2006
On Amy’s 28th birthday…..
28 years ago, you made me a Mommy.
It’s written on our family tree.
Even tho’ you are gone from sight
In my heart, you’ll always be.
I hope you know how much I love you
It cannot be measured one bit.
I long to hold you, kiss you, hug you,
Feel your arms, a perfect fit!
I go from place to place,
For your grave, I bring some stones.
I used to buy you t shirts
For gifts that I’d bring home.
Today you should be 28
Not forever 25,
You might be married, with a child
Instead it’s me that survived.
My heart is broken, I can hardly stand it,
Amy, why aren’t you here with us?
Our families ties are torn apart
Things aren’t the same, it’s all mussed.
I hope you’re happy in heaven,
You’ve found some peace, I pray.
Can you find your way to me,
To help me through this day?
Your 3rd heaven anniversary is just next week
It’s more than I can bear.
Oh honey, I want you with me
It’s just so unfair.
All I have are our memories,
They will have to do.
Pictures of happier times,
They were many, not few.
So my daughter, on this your day
We wish you peace and love.
With the other angels, you’ll celebrate
From from us, above.
Mom
September 18, 2006
Hello there Amy! It's me, Mom again...wishing you a wonderful, loving and fun-filled 28th birthday on Wednesday. We won't be together in person, but you are never far from my thoughts, prayers and dreams.
Being on Block Island this year during your birthday is causing me some consternation as to how to "celebrate" your birthday. The past 2 years I launched balloons, with notes attached to them, up to you in heaven. On Block, they don't sell helium filled balloons - I guess because they are afraid they'll end up in the ocean and hurt the fish. So, I posed the question to my Grieving Parents.com friends for some ideas....and I have decided to write you a birthday letter and put it in a bottle and let it go in the ocean. I realize you won't be getting my letter in heaven, but perhaps somehow, someday you will get it. It's the best I can do...
I realized today that your h.s. graduation picture is almost 10 years old. That fact absolutely floored me. Your class from Rocky Hill will be celebrating their 10th year reunion. I wonder if they will make mention of your passing and your other classmate who passed. It would be a nice gesture, I think.
The weather is turning cooler here on Block. Norm bought 2 kayaks to use on the Salt Pond - I know you'd really enjoy them.
I think of you day and night. You are in my thoughts as I fall asleep in prayer and you are first on my mind as I wake up. I wish I could give you a hug, I'd love to feel your arms around me.
Stacy is doing well and little Alex started kindergarten! He is attending a magnet school where one week the lessons are taught in English and the next week they are taught in Spanish. What a wonderful opportunity this is for him. I miss them and will spend some time in Connecticut before we head south in November. Stacy and Alex will be coming to Orlando for Thanksgiving this year and we'll be going to Disney. That should be lots of fun for all of us!
Amy, I love you so much. I miss you more than words can express. Please come visit me in my dreams.
Love,
Mom
August 23, 2006
Dearest Amy,
I miss you honey. We are quickly approaching your 28th birthday and your 3rd heaven anniversary. I cannot believe that I have survived these past 3 years. I can't believe that you are gone from us for that long.
We are living on Block Island for the summer now. Norm and I have been cleaning, scrubbing, painting, washing, unpacking, repacking - it has been very hard on us physically. I find that I am using a lot of your colors, mostly that mossy, seafoam green that you loved. I have your bed, bedspread and dustruffle upstairs in one of the bedrooms and we are painting the room "Amy" green. I know you'd be pleased to see how beautiful it looks. I take your "Amy" beach towel to the beach whenever we go, I want you to enjoy the warmth of the sand and the chilliness of the water! There are so many reminders and memories of you here, it helps me make it through the days.
On Friday, Jan, Rob, Lilly and Zack are coming up for almost a week. I know how much you loved them and know that if you could have, you would have been here for some of that time, too. Family is so very important to you.
I miss you....I hate it here without you....I wish life had treated us differently. You deserved your life, not to be cut so short. Please come visit me in my dreams....
Love,
Mom
Mom
July 27, 2006
Dearest Amy,
Yesterday was your nephew Alex's 5th birthday. He is growing so fast, so tall - but he still talks about his "Aunt Mamie".
I missed you at the party on Saturday, you would have been a great help to Stacy! You wouldn't have belived all the people who were there. Since you passed, Stacy has made contact and developed relationships with all of her birth family!! She found Nancy and the 2 kids awhile ago, but about a month ago she found Brad. They were all there!! I told Nancy she owed a big thanks to you, my daughter, and Nancy agreed. Stacy lost you almost 3 years ago now. She felt that void, wondered about whether or not there were any genetic conditions she should worry about - so, via the internet - she found them.
Brad is fun, I guess that's the word I would use. He is so tall, 6'6"!! He was brought up not too far from where we lived in NJ, wouldn't that have been something if we knew him. They all look alike, especially Stacy and Brad. I wish you would have had the chance to meet your birthfamily. I have pictures of your half siblings...wish I could show them to you.
We are back in CT for another 10 days before finally, after 15 years, we're going to take back the house on Block Island. No more renters, our "stuff" is going to fill the house. I will put your bedroom set upstairs, I will hang your pictures on the wall and place all the treasures you have given me over the years in special places. You will be with us there on Block and you are with us everywhere we go.
I love you very much. I miss you more than words can say. Life is so different, so not what I wanted or expected. I hope you are in a good place and are happy....one of us should be.
I love you Amy!!
Mom
Mom
May 13, 2006
Dearest daughter,
Tomorrow is Mother's Day. Tomorrow is a day that I used to enjoy so much, spending it with my two sweet girls. We'd go out for breakfast, plant some flowers and really enjoy each other's company. As the two of you became young women, I was treated to a great BBQ dinner. I remember how proud I was of the two of you, our last Mother's Day together in 2003, when you two put together such a great spread! Now....2 1/2 years since your passing, the day is so bittersweet. I relish the memories, I miss feeling your hugs around me, I miss so much all of you. I have learned, in order to survive these "special" days, to do things differently than before - no BBQ's, no going out for breakfast, no looking forward to a dinner lovingly prepared by you and Stacy.
Tomorrow Norm and I are taking Stacy and little Alex to the circus at the Hartford Civic Center. It will be a blessing to me, spending the day with them, watching the circus through that little boy's eyes. I am so pleased that we are back in Hartford, to spend time with Alex (and Stacy), to bring him to places where he hasn't yet been. I have gone back in time, to my memories of the day that I took you and Stacy to NYC to the circus. We took the train into Manhattan, I remember seeing your eyes wide with excitement, you couldn't contain yourself! We had a lot of fun that day and that's what I'll be remembering tomorrow...along with new memories of little Alex's first time at the circus.
So, my beautiful daughter, I wish you a Happy Mother's Day in heaven. I wish life had treated us all very differently, but it didn't....and I need to find a way to survive until I join you in heaven. Know how much I wish you could have felt the joys and love from your own child as I had from being your mom....
I love you Amy.
Mom
Mom
March 22, 2006
The moment you died
my world came crashing down.
Never to hear your voice
or see those eyes of brown.
Not to see you grow old
How could this be?
Why aren't you here,
my precious Amy??
Our family is ripped apart,
the seams of love are torn.
We're without our oldest child
we are all so forlorn.
Stacy will have to go on
without your guiding love.
Your niece and nephews too,
you'll need to guide them from above.
But what of me, your mom?
What am I to do?
How am I to live
with my heart torn in two?
How do I go on
each and every day?
Breathing is so difficult,
don't really want to anyway.
But I need to keep on going,
to protect your legacy,
make sure everybody remembers
our child, our love, our Amy.
Mom
February 13, 2006
Dearest Amy,
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day - the day for love. That's what your name means in French - Aimer, the verb "to love". We all love you and miss you so very much.
Norm and I got a letter from your accountant's wife today. Evidently, he passed away in an accident this past Fall...and she wanted to know what to do with your estate files. What was so nice though was her last paragraph. She told us that just before you passed away, you were helping them buy a house. She remembers you as a wonderful, happy positive person. I was so happy to hear that others remember you in the same beautiful way that we all remember you - happy and wonderful.
We love you so much and miss you every single minute. Happy Valentine's Day my beautiful, happy, wonderful daughter.
Love,
Mom
Mom
January 19, 2006
Dearest Amy,
Yesterday I had the strongest feeling that I just wanted to sit down with you and chat over a cup of coffee. It pulled at me very hard and I felt so sad that I couldn't act upon it. I just want to talk to my daughter and I can't. I want to tell you about my life, about how and who I am now because I am a completely different person than I was before you died. I wanted to ask you what you are doing, I wanted to see your face light up and be animated - I wanted to see you alive. I was imagining you telling me about all the customers you have and all the headaches and phone calls you get concerning their properties. I wanted to see you move your beautiful hands, those expressive fingers - so long and beautiful. I wanted to grab onto them and hold you tight. But I can't....
I miss you so much Amy. No matter where we travel, where we are and with whom - my mind goes back to you.
It is now 2006 and you should be turning 28 this year. Maybe we'd be planning a wedding or a baby shower by now. I know for sure you would be successful with Coldwell Banker. I know for sure you would be happy...but what I don't know for sure is whether or not you'd be healthy.
If you had lived through that ARVD attack, would you have been okay? Would an AED be implanted in your chest? Would you have been able to physically bear children without putting an impossible strain on your heart? Would you have needed a heart transplant?
These are questions that can never be answered. All I can do is wish things were different....
I miss you and love you so much. You are always in my thoughts and in my heart - which is strong enough for the two of us.
Love,
Mom
Mom
December 31, 2005
Dearest Amy,
Happy New Year honey. I can't believe another year has gone by without you.
I miss you and will toast you and your love tonight. I hope you have a great party in heaven with your angel friends....I wish it was with us here instead.
I am so happy that the holidays are finally coming to an end. They aren't fun without you.
Love,
Mom
Mom
December 25, 2005
Dearest Amy,
Happy Chanukah and Merry Christmas honey! It's December 25th, Christmas and Chanukah are both on the same day. I can't remember that ever happening at all. I have so many memories of Chanukahs past, parties at Nanny and Poppy's house, you opening your gifts, your big brown eyes wide with excitment. It's so lonely without you, today was just another day for me.
Norm and I are in Lake Worth, FL. It is warm, the palm trees are blowing and it doesn't feel like the holidays - which is just the way I like it.
I miss you. I wish you were here with us, I wish you were still alive....it's horrible without you.
Shea wrote to me last week, I was so excited to hear from her. She said such beautiful things about you. This is some of what she said:
"I often wondered why she went the extra distance with me when I was not that way with her. She was like a boomerang, always checking up on me and always asking about the kids and my mom, calling with lots of regularity and all that. It makes me sad to know that one of the only true friends I ever had is gone and I didn't appreciate her as much as I could when she was here. It's really hard to meet genuine people and Amy was definitely one of them."
People love you Amy, and you made such impressions on those who were fortunate enough to have made your acquaintance.
I love you....
Mom
Mom
November 21, 2005
Dearest Amy,
Once again, we are approaching the holidays without you. I cannot bear them, I wish they would disappear and I can't wait for January. It is so sad, the days that you used to look at us with those big brown eyes, wondering what Chanukah gifts you were going to get, hoping that we would love the gifts that you made for us (of course we loved them) - now they are painful days but filled with wonderful memories of you and Stacy and the rest of the family. How I wish I could turn back the clock. How I wish I had the opportunity to talk to you once more...all the things I would say to you. Amy, can you hear me when I talk to you? Amy, do you know how much you are loved, missed, cherished and grieved for? Amy, can you hear me?
I have heard Kenny Chesney's new song, "Who you'd be today" and know that he is talking to all of us without our children on earth. It breaks my heart and I cry so much.
Please come visit me in my dreams. Please let me know you can hear me, tell me what's going on in heaven and how you are, please....
We are at the Grieving Parents mini-retreat in Columbia, TN right now. There are 7 people here who have all lost children. We made a peace fire tonight and put in messages to our children. It was a beautiful ceremony but just so bittersweet. I kept wondering why I was here - why I am part of this group that nobody wants to belong.
I love you honey.
Mom
Amy Poverman
November 13, 2005
You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day
cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death,
open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one,
even as the river and the sea are one.
In the depth of your hopes and desires
lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;
And like the seeds dreaming beneath the snow
your heart dreams of spring.
Trust the dreams,
for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.
Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd
when he stands before the king whose hand
is to be laid upon him in honour.
Is the shepherd not joyful beneath his trembling,
that he shall wear the mark of the king?
Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?
For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind
and to melt into the sun?
And what is it to cease breathing,
but to free the breath from its restless tides,
that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
Only when you drink from the river of silence
shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top,
then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs,
then shall you truly dance.
- Kahlil Gibran, from The Prophet
Mom
October 30, 2005
Dearest Amy,
Tomorrow is Halloween, the day you used to bring little Alex to Aetna to visit Stacy and me. You used to have so much fun with him, showing him off in his costume and watching him run around the office, getting candy from everyone! I remember those days, those special days so well. It is your 3rd Halloween in heaven and we miss you so much.
We are still in Connecticut, but will be leaving here on Wednesday for our trip down to Florida. It is getting cold, the leaves are so beautiful and you are still not here. Whenever the days are particularly beautiful, I feel that you are orchestrating the beauty from heaven.
Amy, I want you to know that I love you. I wish you were here, we would have so much to talk about. I want to hear your voice, see you with a smile and a twinkle in your eyes. I wanted to see you with a husband that loved you more than anything and a baby or two in your arms. I wanted to see you grow up and grow old. I know you understand what I am saying, what I mean and I know now that you are happy in heaven. My daughter, I love you so.
Be well, stay happy and please come visit me in my dreams. I would love to see you with a beautiful smile on your face. Please.....
Love,
Mom
Mom
October 13, 2005
Dear Amy,
Happy New Year and Happy Yom Kippur. Today is the day that we fast and pray for our sins and pray for our loved ones. Today we light a candle for those who have passed on before us. Your candle is lit and sitting by the kitchen sink in the RV. I miss you so much.
We will be at the Weins' house tonight for Break Fast. This is the first time in at least 10 years that Norm and I are not hosting the dinner. I will miss your smile and presence there terribly.
We've been back in CT now for about 2 1/2 weeks, sitting in Gail and Ron's driveway! They are wonderful to us and have opened up their house, even when nobody is home.
I have finished your website, at least as finished as I could be with the pictures that I have on the RV. I think you will like what I have written as well as the pictures that are on the web. I will add more when we get to Block in the spring....
We've seen Stacy and Alex a few times since we've been home - never enough for a nanny & grandpa. You would be so proud of him, he is 4 now and is such a nice boy. He is talking like crazy, polite in his habits and just so much fun. This summer, we hope to have all 3 grandchildren with us on Block for a week or so - that will be an eyeopener!! I hope we have enough energy for them! I always remember the last time we were all together, it was about a month before you passed away. You had a smile from ear to ear, watching those kids play together. Do you take care of the littlest angels in heaven? I bet you do...
Honey, we love you and miss you so much. You are never, ever out of my thoughts and always in my heart.
Be well and come visit me in my dreams, okay?
Love,
Mom
Karen C
October 6, 2005
I was into the obits again there have been so many deaths recently,of loved ones. It is very hard, but then you know that all too well. I realized that it has been 2 years since Amy's passing and wanted you to know I keep you and Norm in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless
Shelley
September 23, 2005
Joelle and Nicole - how lovely it was for us to know others think of Amy as we do. It was sweet of you to remember her on her 27th birthday.
We all miss her so much. We miss her graciousness, her sense of humor, her big brown eyes and her love of family and friends, among everything else that was so special about my daughter.
Stacy told me that a balloon was left on Amy's grave...and we both couldn't figure out who it was from. How nice it was that you did that....
Seeing your entry and thinking about how many times Amy talked about you and Mike and the kids...and the wonderful video of her...it's the only one we have of Amy as an adult.
We miss her so much....words cannot describe our grief and sadness.
Love,
Shelley
Janice Shankman
September 22, 2005
Zack asked me today, very seriously, if we could go out for special Aunt Amy ice creams more often!
Joelle
September 21, 2005
Happy Birthday Amy
Thought of you yesturday. It was a real nice sunny day. Nicole & I visited you and left you a Happy Birthday balloon. In our thoughts always.
Love Ya, Joelle
Janice Shankman
September 21, 2005
Dear Amy -
I couldn't figure out what to do with the kids to help them remember you. Unfortunately, they were so young, that they are forgetting quickly. So I decided that your birthday would be the "happy Amy" day whereas your yartzeit would be my day to cry and be sad. (OK - I was sad yesterday, but pushed through it for the kids.)
So I talked about you to the kids a lot yesterday. Told them about when we saw Nemo together (the kids first time in a theater!!) and Lilly said she remembered coloring with you. Then after dinner we all went out for ice cream and just talked more about you.
You are always in my heart.....
Nanny & Poppy Stull
September 20, 2005
To our beautiful granddaughter Amy.
Today is your 27th birthday. How we remember the day you were born.
Poppy was holding you and you looked so small against his big hands. You were the most beautiful baby and grew up to be a beautiful young woman. We hope you are celebrating your birthday with all your heaven friends.
We will always love you Amy.
Love, Nanny & Poppy
Mom
September 20, 2005
Dearest Amy,
Happy 27th birthday in heaven!! My dear daughter, today is a very heavy day in my heart. 27 years ago you made me a mommy, such a blessed event. I remember getting the phone call from the hospital at work - and leaving right away!! I went home, got out all the baby clothes we all had bought for you and washed and hung them out on the line. In a way, that was the tip to the neighbors that you were born and on your way to Carteret St!! They all came over and gave me hugs and kisses....everybody was so excited! 2 days later, Nanny and Aunt Cindy came with us to the hospital to bring your home. You were all dressed in white and wrapped in a white blanket - could hardly see you in all of that. About 2 blocks away, we stopped the car and "undid" you - to see what you looked like and to count your fingers and toes and kiss your belly and your little nose and just be amazed at this little bundle finding her way to our family. It is one of the most beautiful memories of my life - seeing you for the first time. Everytime I think about that day, I smile - even now.
I haven't figured out yet how to celebrate your birth today but I am thinking about going over to the Elkhart Indiana Riverwalk and release some balloons with notes attached. Stacy, Alex, Carol Sachs and I did that last year, along with a cup of Starbucks coffee at your grave. We are too far away from CT to do that this year, but we will find a way to honor your memory. So, be on the look out for some balloons and notes from Norm and me!
So my beautiful daughter, I hope you have a nice birthday in heaven. I know that all the Grieving Parents angels are at your side, singing Happy Birthday and probably toasting you with a few beers. I hope your day is peaceful.
I love you and miss you so much. How I wish I could turn back the clock and make events be different.
Love,
Mom
September 15, 2005
Dear Amy,
As your 27th birthday and your 2nd heaven anniversary are just around the corner, I am having such strong feelings and memories. I always think about you - first thing in the morning when I have to realize yet again that you are no longer here and I pray to G-d every night to take care of you in heaven. My life is on a walk of grief that is so painful and hard. I miss you so much and many days the tears just won't stop.
We'll be back in CT by 9/29 and the Temple will honor your memory on the 30th at Shabbat services. We will do the oneg in your honor.
I found the following poem online from the Compassionate Friends, a national group of parents who have lost children.
I love and miss you terribly. I can't wait to get back to CT where I can go to the cemetery and send balloons up to heaven with notes attached. I will also make sure that I bring a cup of Starbucks coffee to share with you as we did last year.
Here is the poem
ANNIVERSARY DATE IN HEAVEN
Your Anniversary Date in Heaven is growing near,
And I miss you so much with each passing year.
I think of you and my heart constricts in pain,
And I question whether I will ever be whole again.
I wonder if you count the time as I do.
Since you left us for heaven - Is it still new to you?
Or does time count in heaven like it does with us here?
Do we seem far away to you? - or do we feel near?
So many questions arise in my mind.
Questions like: “Do you miss us since you left us behind?”
Is it possible for you to be sad? - for you to feel pain?
Do you question why this happened? Do you feel the same?
The answers to my question will be mine someday,
As I cross to where you are - through heaven’s pearly gates.
Then I will know the joy that you experience there.
And we will be together, forever in heaven so fair!
Oh, how I wished God had made a plan,
Where people in heaven could reach down to man.
Just one simple word - just one gentle touch -
But who am I fooling? Once would never be enough!
There are no words to describe the unspeakable pain,
Of losing a child - Our loss is devastatingly plain!
So, Happy Anniversary in Heaven, my precious child, so dear.
I’m so glad you’re there with God --- if I can’t have you here.
By Faye McCord, TCF Chapter Leader / Jackson, MS
Mom
August 6, 2005
Dearest daughter,
I love you and miss you so much. My heart is heavy and each day brings more thoughts and tears. I hope you are happy in heaven and that you are looking down on us with a smile on your face. I try to make you proud of me each day.
We are rapidly going on 2 years since your passing. I can't believe it....it still doesn't feel real to me, although not hearing your voice, seeing those big brown eyes and knowing your loving heart makes our lives just a part of what it should have been. You would have been 27 next month instead of forever 25....
I love you and miss you and wish things were different...
Mom
Mom
March 27, 2005
Dear Amy,
Tomorrow you have been gone from us for 18 months, 545 days. 545 days doesn't sound so long, but it has been so painful without you. I miss you so much Amy, it just hurts too much. Tomorrow is 18 months since you have passed away. I have never experienced such total pain and horror that just is continuous. I feel no peace, no lessening of this intense ache in my soul and heart. No matter where Norm and I go, I hurt. I miss you so much, I miss the future that I expected. I miss seeing you getting married, having a huge swollen belly with a baby, a grandbaby with your big brown eyes - all that any mother expects to enjoy from her children. You deserved the opportunity to grow old and to enjoy life - not to have it disappear 8 days after you turned 25. I hate this, everyday waking up and knowing that you are dead. It is not natural, not normal and really, really wrong. I want to visit your grave. Isn't that a sad thing to want?
The following is a poem that I read from The Compassionate Friends website.
Gone Too Soon
Like a comet blazing across the evening sky
Gone too soon.
Like a rainbow fading in the twinkling of an eye,
Gone too soon.
Shiny and sparkly and splendidly bright...
Here one day, Gone one night.
Like the loss of sunshine on a cloudy afternoon,
Gone too soon.
Like a castle built on a sandy beach,
Gone too soon.
Like a perfect flower that is just beyond your reach,
Gone too soon.
Born to amuse, to inspire, to delight....
Here one day, Gone one night.
Like a sunset dying with the rising of the moon,
Gone too soon...
Gone too soon.
by Buz Kohan
Mom
March 11, 2005
Dearest daughter,
Today is mid-March and I have so much to tell you. Norm and I are moving and sold the condo. I can't believe that you are not here to be our realtor, that you are not here to give me advice. I need you so much.....I love you so much. I miss you terribly and I every night I hope that I dream about you.
My beautiful girl, you will be gone from us a year and a half as of 3/28 - how can that be? You should be celebrating some closings, maybe you would be engaged, I know that you would be so successful in whatever you decided to put your mind towards.
I miss you more than life my daughter. I cannot wait until I get to be with you again....
Love,
Momn
Mom
February 2, 2005
Dearest daughter,
Today is February 2 and it is Groundhog day. Most people think of Groundhog day as a fun day, for me it brings back poignant memories of you.
Your friend Fran got married in Puxtawany PA and you were in her wedding. You have a blue t shirt from Puxtawany and I wear it all the time. I have some beautiful photos of you at Fran's wedding...you looked so vibrant and happy. Then, just a little more than a year later, you passed away. Ironically, you were supposed to go to Fran's baby shower that rainy Sunday, September 28th....but you never got there.
Amy, my heart aches so much for you. I am busy with life, but I am not IN life. I spend most of my days close to tears, these 16 months later....the 2nd year is harder than the first year without you.
Stacy started working in Savannah, at Wellpoint. She and Alex split up and he moved back to CT. She is struggling with her life and could really use your help...but you aren't here. I try, but sometimes a sister's influence, especially the older, more "grounded" sister, would have been wonderful. Please try to come to her in her dreams - help her with life.
I love you so much. I take you with me always and I show you the country as we meander through.
Be well and rest in peace,
Love,
Kathy MacNeil
December 21, 2004
One day about a year ago, I came across your Guest Book for your darling Amy. I found the writings so intense, the love that everyone had for Amy. The love of family, friends, co-workers and those people who didn't even know her. My heart went out to these grieving parents. I read Shelley's (mom) comments and being a mother myself, I couldn't imagine the pain and loss that Shelley was suffering. Even though I didn't know of anyone who had lost a child, I had lost my own mom and by reading some of Shelley's writings I related to certain situations that I had encountered.
As I read your December lst writing "Just One Day In My New Life", I too shed many a tear. You see, we're one of those statistics now. Three months ago on September 13, 2004, our Beloved Son Scott, 29 years old died suddenly and unexpectedly. Scott was a special son with special needs and home with us. He was able to take care of himself and go to his favorite places, (the mall, Blcokbuster, shopping etc.) He was loved by all. Calling family near and far to inform them their precious nephew/cousin had died. It was so difficult telling his 91 year old grandfather that he was gone. How ironic, almost to the day that you lost your precious Amy.
This has been one of the most tragic situations that we have ever had. No good-byes.... no last kiss....Everything that you have written is so absolutely true. Someone told me today that I should go to Grief Therepy to get over it, to get past my feelings so I can move ahead. (This person doesn't even have any children.) Everything that I feel, you have written. How we dread the holidays, but we do have an older son, his girlfriend and 2 grandsons (5 & 9), who will make our holdiays somewhat brighter. A new grandson will be born in March and his middle name will be Scott. No one will ever understand what it is like to lose a child unless they have. I wish with all my heart that going further no one would have to deal with the loss of a child. It is one of the most devastating experiences of our lives.
Shelley, keep writing so I may know that I am not the only one with the feelings that you express.
Hopefully, Amy and Scott have met in Heaven and are indeed our quardian angels.
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Honor a beloved veteran with a special tribute of ‘Taps’ at the National WWI Memorial in Washington, D.C.
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Estate Settlement Guide
If you’re in charge of handling the affairs for a recently deceased loved one, this guide offers a helpful checklist.
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Legacy's Linnea Crowther discusses how families talk about causes of death in the obituaries they write.
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The Five Stages of Grief
They're not a map to follow, but simply a description of what people commonly feel.
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Obituary Examples
You may find these well-written obituary examples helpful as you write about your own family.
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These free blank templates make writing an obituary faster and easier.
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Some basic help and starters when you have to write a tribute to someone you love.
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