MORELAND, Jeffrey Alan Jeffrey Alan Moreland, 23, beloved son of Dale W. Moreland, III and Elaine (Despres) Moreland, died Wednesday, (June 7, 2006). He was born September 24, 1982 in Hartford and had lived in Simsbury prior to moving to Canton 21 years ago. Jeffrey attended Northwestern Community College and was a junior at Central Connecticut State University. His hobbies included weight lifting, playing the electric guitar and Bass guitar. Jeff loved being outdoors and was an avid hiker and fisherman. He was an exceedingly kind and caring person with an outgoing personality, quick sense of humor and made everyone feel special and loved. He lived life to the fullest and embraced his family and friends with his enthusiasm and generosity of spirit. Though he will be dearly missed by all, the love that he gave us will always be a part of us. Besides his parents he is survived by his brother, Jonathan Moreland of Barkhamsted; his sister, Jessica Moreland of Canton; his maternal grandmother, Valencia Despres of Canton and his paternal grandparents, Doris and Dale Moreland, II of Simsbury; his aunts and uncles, David and Kim Moreland of Simsbury, Deborah Moreland of Woodstock, GA, Daniel and Beth Despres of Tewksbury, MA and Roger Despres of Lowell, MA; five cousins, Ashley, Brittany, Devin, Jason and Eric and many good friends. He was predeceased by his maternal grandfather, Adelard Despres and his uncle, Donald Moreland. Friends may call at the Vincent Funeral Home, 120 Albany Turnpike, Canton, Saturday, June 10, 1 to 4 p.m. A memorial service will be celebrated Saturday, 4 p.m. at Vincent Funeral Home, Canton. Burial will be in Dyer Cemetery, Canton. In lieu of flowers memorial donations may be made to Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance, 730 N. Franklin Street, Suite 501, Chicago, IL 60610
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Lynn Kapitan
June 6, 2007
Elaine, Dale, Jess & Jon:
Even though tomorrow will be a year since Jeff left us, I will always remember him, especially by his beautiful, broad smile. He used to hang at my house with my son, Ryan, Chris, Jeff H., and Jerry, among others playing pool, ping pong, darts, or cards. He is still with us downstairs. On the beams in the basement there is still the markings of a game of pool on one particular night. Unfortunately Jeff had only gotten 1 point. But it's still up there in chalk on the beams and I intend to leave it there. He always had a smile and a warm hello. You know how something just happens to appear in front of you that catches your eye, and you wonder if there is a reason for it? Well, the day of his burial at the cemetery, after the service was over I just happened to look down and there was a rock, just a rock about 4-5 inches long, but it was fully covered with mica (you know the shiny mineral or gem). I picked it up and still have it at home. Something made me pick it up and relate it to Jeff. Maybe because he was always shining when I saw him. I know that I have not been in touch, but I do think of you all often. I have even asked my daughter, Darlene how Jess is doing. Elaine and Dale, if you ever would like to get together and/or get together with the Checksfields and the Hortons, please let me know, I would love to see you all again. We all had a lot in common with the "boys". I hope that you have all been able to find enjoyment in life. I can't imagine, but I feel, having lost an important part of my life 14 years ago, that time does ease some of the pain.
All my best to all of you,
Chris Checksfield
August 23, 2006
To all,
To be able to put into words the kind of person that Jeff Moreland was would be like trying to fit the earth inside the moon.
Jeff emobodied 99% of the most pure and genuine characteristics of anyone I know. For me to say that Jeff impacted my life would be an immense understatement. The relationship I had with Jeff throughout my life has definetly helped to mold and define who I am today.
I dont know where he is now or what he is doing, but I do know that his love for life, family, and friends, will forever be carried on within the people he impacted (big or small).
Dale, Elaine, Jon, Jess-
I want to start by saying I love each and everyone of u like a family.. and that is not just because of recent events.. you have always been so nice to me wether i am keeping you awake late at night lauging with Jeff or chowing down on your latest left-overs (or Dales bagged lunch)..!
I do not know how to explain to you the feelings that I have had over the last 2 and half months. I want you ALL to know that Jeff cared so much for each and everyone of you, again words cannot define this by any stretch of the imagination.
Jeff had a way about him, a way of connecting with anyone he came into contact with. Some people you meet have the same personality, the same conversation topics, the same look, and even the same humor... not JEFF... Jeff was the kind of person who could pick up within 5 minutes a way to connect with anyone and everyone he came across. This is a quality I have never seen before in anyone I have ever met.
I cant explain how deeply sorry I am for you Dale, Elaine, Jess, and Jon... I can just respect how good of a job you did raising your son Jeff to be the person he is... allowing him to impact me in such a positive way.
As for everyone else, thank you so much for the kind words... and remmember jeff for how he made you laugh and how he made you feel good about yourself and your dreams... cause even when everything is said and done... that is who Jeff was, and that is how he would want to be remmembered
Dale MORELAND
July 17, 2006
As Jeffrey’s Dad, I would like to share some of my memories of Jeffrey.
In remembrance of Jeffrey, I think back on past events that occurred throughout the years; holding Jeffrey in my arms immediately after he was born, telling him bedtime stories as a toddler, the funny things he would say and his questions. Jeffrey was a very inquisitive boy always asking questions. I saw him doing things that I had done at his age, such as when he took his little backpack and hammer and went out to mine rocks. He was always interested in nature. I picture when he played sports, soccer, baseball, basketball, and when he wrestled one year. Seeing him at school events and when he used to play saxophone at the school concerts. There were the times we went fishing, had a catch, rode bikes, and then there was teaching Jeffrey to drive the truck. Jeffrey used to make Father’s Day cards for me and would always write a very touching note of his observations and things that we did, and then say he loved me very much. Once right after his uncle had died and Jeff was only six, I was feeling sad. Jeffrey came over to me, took his hat off and put it on my head and said let’s have a catch, Dad.
There were the vacations we took which will always be cherished memories. Jeffrey was so happy then and that is how I mainly remember Jeff. He smiled a lot and for the most part seemed happy. He did suffer from being bi-polar, a disease, which is difficult to understand, and one that ended his life. But the essence of Jeffrey was a sweet, fun loving and curious mind.
I admired Jeffrey for his vigorous exercise routines and the discipline it took to do them, as well as his going to school and working. Jeff liked doing carpentry work. He had a lot of energy and was active. He was pursuing a degree in Exercise Science and Health Services and had a year to go. He enjoyed playing the guitar and bass guitar. I remember when he and Jackie would jam together. Then there were all the times that Jeff and his friends would gather in our basement and just hang out. Jeff was always on the phone with Chris or Valerie, Jeff Horton, Jerry, Darcy, Ryan, Jackie or his many other friends. He loved having friends. That was an important part of his life.
There are many memories of Jeffrey. There were the family gatherings when he would laugh and joke with Jon and Jessica. I remember that laugh. When he would call me “Ace”, “Papa” or “Pops”. “Hey Pops, can you trim my hair.” I used to call him Jeffy. His taking long showers and grooming in the bathroom. I see him when he was a little boy and then see him as a man, and I miss him very much. I was proud of all his accomplishments and proud of him as my son. Jeffrey I loved you very much. You will always be in my heart.
Love, Dad.
Jeff's Mom [email protected]
July 1, 2006
As Jeff's Mom,I am so touched by all of your concern, well wishes, and remembrances which will be forever treasured by our family. I want to share some excerpts from Meditation for Survivors of Suicide by Bhikshuni Thubten Chodron which have been particularly meaningful for me.
“Everything in life changes,…even though our separation happened sooner than I would have liked or expected, I’m so glad we knew each other.” For me, everyday with Jeff was a gift. There was barely a day that went by that we didn’t say, “love you”, and we did love each other unconditionally. I treasure our car rides together, all the dinners together, snowboarding (my attempt to!), our vacations, his wonderful sense of humor, and his uncannily perceptive insights.
“Although I can’t imagine the suffering that made you take your life, I know that suffering and confusion are not your essence. I know that grief and feelings of guilt are not my essence.” Jeff’s illness gave him an acute awareness of other people’s pain and imperfections, which allowed him to express caring and compassion for others. His essence was also his joy of life which he shared with everyone he encountered. He would not want his legacy to be grief and guilt among those who loved him, but joy for living and caring for others. “Feel love and compassion in your heart…be kind to the person in front of you…for at that moment the person is the embodiment and representative of all beings for you.”
“Remember that your dear one died once….but each time you reply the mental video entitled “what if..” “how could he have” you experience the trauma again, and again”. I will always ask why from a medical standpoint because I would like to help find a cure for this terrible disease Jeff suffered from. I feel that is healthy. What is not healthy is taking personal ownership of being the person responsible for stopping Jeff’s suicide. What happened the day he died and days leading up to it is out of our hands and capacity to circumvent. Someday the proper combination of medications will be found to help others with bipolar disease, but that day is in the future. What is self destructive and a waste of energy is thinking that any one of us individually could have stopped Jeff’s suicide, particularly since he hid his intentions from all of us. All of our energy now should be used in a positive manner to enrich the lives of our loved ones and appreciate each moment we have.
“Forgive them (and yourself) for anything hurtful that may have been said or done during the whole duration of your relationship”. No one is perfect, and that is what Jeff joked about and loved us for, because he knew that he also was not perfect.
“Your relationship with the one who completed suicide is not the only relationship in your life”. This is a hard concept to accept as a parent, but you either take all of the pain and go inward, or break it up in manageable pieces and get out there to share and live life with others.
“place your grief in context. Every one of us has experienced unbelievable pain.” I was so overwhelmed by the many parents who lost children, most I barely knew, who reached out to our family.. There is little else that is more important than reaching out to anyone you know that has had a loss or is in pain, and give them your love, compassion, and prayers
My final prayer for Jeff from B. T. Chodron:
“Wherever you are now, I wish you well. I want you to be happy and free from suffering. You have a different experience now, and so do I. So as we both go on, I wish you well. My love is with you.”
Donna & Jim McGuire
June 24, 2006
Dear Dale and Elaine, we were very sorry to hear of your loss. Nothing we could say could ease your pain. Suffice it to know our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Kristine Hartmann
June 23, 2006
Sorry for your lose. Unfortunatly I never had the pleasure of really getting to know Jeff, but the way Auntie Kim spoke of him he was a very loved man. He will never be forgotten.
Ted and Meg Ralston
June 21, 2006
Our thoughts and prayers are with your family.
Linda Johnson/Cutler
June 20, 2006
Dear Elaine and Dale: I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Reading the many beautiful notes reminds me of when we were growing up and the wonderful times we had at your home on S. Quaker. How nice to see that your son had so many friends who feel welcome at your home. You and family are in my thoughts and prayers. May God Bless you.
Erik Hartman
June 20, 2006
Jon and family,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. There are no words to express how sad I am for you. I send my deepest condolencs for you all, Erik
Uncle Dave & Auntie Kim
June 17, 2006
Dale, Elaine, Jon & Jessica,
Reading all of these wonderful entries brings not only tears to our eyes, but a smile to our faces. It is so clear that Jeff was loved by so many. During a time like this, no one can truly understand what you are going through or know the magic words to make it all better - because there are none. All we can give you is our never ending love and support. Jeff was always willing to lend a helping hand and was one of the kindest, most thoughtful people we have ever known. We will never forget his unique sense of humor. We are extremely proud to call him our nephew as we know that you are even more proud to call him your son, your brother. We love you all.
Elizabeth O'Neill
June 15, 2006
To the Moreland family-
Jeff was a student of mine in several of my exercise science courses and Central. He was one of my brightest students. He is a great loss to our program and I will personally miss having him as a student. My prayers to your family.
June 12, 2006
To the Moreland Family-
We went to Highschool with Jon, and we are very sorry for your loss. Knowing how wonderful Jon is, we can only imagine how wonderful Jeffrey was. Our prayers are with you.
Christopher and Shannon Milliard
Nancy Swanson
June 12, 2006
Dear Elaine and Family,
My sincerest sympathy to you and yours during the most difficult time of your life. My prayers, and those of your fellow high school classmates, are with you. Nancy Swanson
Richard Castagno
June 12, 2006
Dear Elaine and family,
I am so sorry for your very great loss. Elaine I went to High School with you. You and your family are in my prayers.
Sincerely,
Rich Castagno
Ryan Taylor
June 11, 2006
I am so sorry to have heard about your loss. Jeff was an amazing person that will be greatly missed and never forgotten. He always had a way of making people laugh, no matter what the situation. My thoughts are with your family.
Shannon Levine
June 11, 2006
We are lucky to know a person as wonderful as Jeff... who briefly convinced me his name was Jefferson, not Jeffrey! His humor, warmth, and love will be cherished forever.
Paul & Dawne Hartmann
June 11, 2006
We were so sorry to hear of your loss. The thoughts of many are with you at this time of sorrow.
Jack Palozie
June 11, 2006
I'll never forget what is like to come into your house. I always looked forward to it, and I'm so thankful for all of the times that I got to spend with all of you and Jeff. He was like a brother to me, and there are so many great memories that I will cherish. I'm so sorry for everything, and if any of you need me I will be there.
Dwight Eckart
June 11, 2006
It saddens me to hear of your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with your family at this time.
Carla Thornton
June 11, 2006
Dale and family -
My deepest sympathy on the loss of your son Jeff. God bless your family - you are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Cassandra Pantano
June 11, 2006
Moreland Family,
Jeff was truely the most kind and genuine friend to everyone. He knew exactly how to make people smile and will truely be missed! My thoughts and prayers are with you all .
Jonathan Drouin
June 10, 2006
Jeff was a kind spirit who made people laugh and think about great times. Wish I could have known him better. My heart goes out to all those who shared life and love with him. For You Jeff
Daryl Zordan
June 10, 2006
Dear John and family. Words can not express my sympathy for your loss . Jeff was a wonderful young man, student, brother and friend. He will not be forgotten. Please let me know if i can be of any help to you or your family.
David Wiig
June 10, 2006
To Jeff's Family - I met Jeff when I was very young through the Goldschmidt family back when they lived on Wright Road. I saw him at random intervals throughout my life, but every time he always made me smile and laugh. I was speechless when I heard. My thoughts and my family's thoughts are with you during this difficult time.
Lindsey Tibbetts
June 10, 2006
Dear Moreland Family,
My name is Lindsey. I attended the University of Hartford with Jeff's friend, Val. I only met Jeff one time when he came to my apartment to celebrate my birthday with Val, but I have heard so many wonderful things about him. I am so sorry for your loss and pray that you will find happiness and support in the days, weeks, months, and years to come. My thoughts are with you and with all of Jeff's friends. God Bless.
John Dallen
June 10, 2006
Dale and Family -
You are in our thoughts and prayers. May God be with you in these difficult times.
Chelsea Gaynor
June 10, 2006
Jeff was an exceedingly kind and thoughtful person who will be dearly missed by all who knew him. I was not fortunate enough to see him very often, but when I did bump into him I was always amazed by the warmth he exuded. At least now he is at peace. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Valerie Goldschmidt
June 9, 2006
Dale, Elaine, Jess and Jon-
You all were such a great family for Jeff to grow up in. There are so many memories of all you guys that I will have forever. He made such a deep impact n my life and I will never forget the kind of person he was. For the last 19 years he has brought me to tears with laughing and I will hold onto those thoughts as you all will.
I love you guys like a second family,
Val
Mary & Doug Mattern
June 9, 2006
Doug & I were fortunate enough to have spent time with Jeff at Kathadin and Swans Island. We enjoyed his humor and hugs (which had just begun). He had a great smile and was very generous. My sympathy to his family and friends of which there are many.
The Iser Family (Zach)
June 9, 2006
Coach M. and family, we were very, very sorry to hear of your loss and just want you to know that you are in our thoughts and prayers at this very sad time.
alice horton
June 9, 2006
We have an empty place in our lives for Jeff, that can never be filled. He will always be in our heart. Love, Greg and Alice
Karen, Chris & Bridget Humphries
June 9, 2006
Jeff was a wonderful person and friend and was loved by all. Everyone will truly miss him dearly. Know now that he is in a place where he is happy. Our hearts go out to all of you during this difficult time. We love you and are thinking of you.
Weston Family (Samantha)
June 9, 2006
Coach M. and Family, Our deepest sympathy is extended to you at this very difficult time. You are in our thoughts and prayers.
Jenny Seymour
June 9, 2006
Big John - My deepest sympathies. You and your family are in my prayers.
Eileen Moran
June 9, 2006
Big Jon, I was so sad to hear of your brother's passing. My son (Patrick) was in Jeff's class and he thought alot of him. I'm here if you need me. I wish your family peace during this painful time. Love ya, Eileen
Audrey Pierce
June 9, 2006
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.
Barbara Lane
June 9, 2006
Dale and Family -
My condolences to you during this difficult time. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Brittany Moreland
June 9, 2006
Jeff will never be forgotten, and will alway's be loved. Jeff I will alway's be with you. I love you so much cous.
Brittany
Christy Zimmerman
June 9, 2006
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.
Ralph Veenema
June 9, 2006
Dale and family
I was deeply saddened to hear your loss.
Rick Hyne
June 9, 2006
Elaine, Dale, Dan, Beth, Mrs. Despres...while we don't see each other as often as we would like, you are like family. I cannot even begin to express words that can console you. My prayer is that the beautiful memories you have of Jeffrey will give you strength. My sincerest condolences.
Mae Ouellette
June 9, 2006
He is not gone. He is just away until you see him in heaven.
My deepest sympathy.
Jo-Ellen Gasior
June 9, 2006
Dear Elaine, Dale, John, & Jessica,
You're in our thoughts and prayers as we think of Jeff and the kind hearted, loving young man he was. His easy smile and open, loving face will always be remembered. Although there are no words that can ease the ache in your hearts, please know that we're thinking of you and praying for Jeff's everlasting peace.
Jo-Ellen, Pete, Jessie & Gina
Jeffrey Sizer
June 9, 2006
I was deeply saddened to learn of the loss of your son Jeffrey. My prayers and thoughts are with you and your family and friends,
With Deepest Sympathy,
Jeffrey A. Sizer
Angela Zacchera
June 9, 2006
My Big Jonny, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I am so sorry for you for loss. Love you, Ang
Pat Flynn
June 9, 2006
I met Jeff just over a year ago through three of his best friends - Val Goldschmidt, Ryan Gilbertie, and Jack Palozie. Through gatherings put together by Val and the others, I got to him Jeff rather well in such a short amount of time. This was thanks in large part to his outgoing personality and friendly attitude. He was so easy to get along with and always brought a smile to my face. I give you my deepest sympathies in this very difficult time.
Betsie Brainard
June 9, 2006
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you Jon and your family.
Jim Lavorgna
June 9, 2006
My deepest sympathies. You and your family are in my prayers.
Karen Bronson
June 9, 2006
~Say not in grief "he is no more",
but live in thankfulness that he was~
Jeff touched many people, I am very sorry for your loss!
Jay Norton
June 9, 2006
I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of Jeff. He was a wonderful individual who touched many people in his life. He will be greatly missed by all. He had a greatness to him that was so distinct, even if you did not know him that well, you could tell right away that he was a caring and warm person. Rest in peace Jeff. We will miss you.
Bill McGuire
June 9, 2006
Dale, I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. Your many friends and collegues at Alstom in Chattanooga will have you and your family in our prayers.
Dianne Hicks
June 9, 2006
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Bernie Walsh
June 9, 2006
Dale and family,
Hearts are heavy here at ALSTOM over the loss of your son. Condolences, God Bless,
Bernie
Gregory & Krystyna Werner
June 9, 2006
No bond is as great as that between a parent and child. Our deepest condolences are with you as you grieve.
Mike Reed
June 9, 2006
Dale - my deepest sympathies. You and your family are in my prayers.
Walt Lacey
June 9, 2006
Dale & Family,
My heart felt condolence goes out to you and your family. I will remember you in prayer now and in the coming days.
frederick herzig
June 9, 2006
Our prayers are with you all in this time of deep sorrow.
Fred and Nancy Herzig
Judy Dimaio (Rachel Gaudette's mom)
June 9, 2006
I am just speechless... I'm so sorry for you and your family Elaine. God bless you all at this very difficult time.
John Boorjian
June 9, 2006
To all of Jeff's friends and Family, I am so sorry for your lost, I am also sorry i can not attend the service, but you all and Jeff are in my thoughts. He will be missed by all.
Alex Rudewicz
June 9, 2006
Dear Dale & family, Regina and I were so saddened to read of the loss of your son. We have fond memmories of you as friends neighbors and patients. You will be in our thoughts and prayers.
Alex & Regina Rudewicz
Chris Pearl
June 9, 2006
I was so sorry to hear of your loss. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help at this time.
Jess Benetti
June 8, 2006
I knew Jeff briefly in high school, but grown to known him as one of the kindest guys I have met. One of his talents that must not be forgotten was the ability to make people laugh and creative writing. He will be greatly missed by Chris Palozie and I. You're in our hearts Jeff.
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