Joan Moreau Callender

Joan Callender Obituary

CALLENDER, Joan Moreau Joan Moreau Callender, 66, of East Hartford, passed away peacefully on Friday, (August 13, 2004) at Manchester Memorial Hospital. She was born in Hartford on February 17, 1938, and lived in East Hartford most of her life. She was the daughter of the late Charles Martin and Sophie Martin. She is survived by her husband, Vincent Callender of East Hartford; her five children: Kenneth Moreau and his wife Stephanie of Jefferson, ME, Caroline Rodrigue of Manchester, John Moreau of Manchester, Nancy Moreau of New Ipswich, NH and James Moreau and his wife Loralee of East Hartford. She is also survived by her six grandchildren who she loved so much and devoted her life to; Michelle and Mathieu Rodrigue of Manchester, Sydney Parent and Neci Moreau of East Hartford, and Brooke and Alexandria Anderson of Jefferson, ME. Her two sisters, Helene Carey of Manchester, and Debra Martin of Portland; a brother, Patrick Martin of California as well as her sister-in-law, Geraldine Martin of Windsor, also survive her. Her brother, Dennis Martin of Windsor predeceased her. She also leaves behind many nieces and nephews. The family wishes to acknowledge and thank the staff of Manchester Memorial Hospital for the gentle and special care they gave to Joan and for their kindness and source of strength to us through our grief and loss during the last two weeks. There will be no calling hours. A Mass of Christian Burial will be held at St. Rose Church in East Hartford on Friday, August 27, at 10 a.m. immediately followed by burial at St. Mary's Cemetery on Burnside Avenue in East Hartford. In lieu of flowers, donations in memory of Joan may be made to The DeQuattro Community Cancer Center at Manchester Memorial Hospital, 73A Haynes Street, Manchester, CT 06040. The Newkirk and Whitney Funeral Home in East Hartford has care of arrangements. Please visit www.mem.com for an online Dignity Memorial Announcement.

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Published by Hartford Courant on Aug. 25, 2004.

Memories and Condolences
for Joan Callender

Sponsored by Nancy Moreau.

14 Entries

Nancy Moreau

September 16, 2011

Just thinking of you Mother! Miss you so much!!
All of us beside Kenney were at Michelle's house on Aug 13 of this year sending Matt off to Santa Barbra. You would be so proud of those two kids!

Mother, James, Carline and John Moreau

Nancy Moreau

May 16, 2010

Mother at 4 years of age

November 21, 2007

Nancy Moreau

August 11, 2005

Mother,

Its been some time since I wrote. As I have told you several times over the phone, that even if we don't here from each other in sometime, I am always thinking of you. Do you remember that?

It's that awful time we spent together a year ago. I am still trying to understand what went wrong, for you were suppose to live forever. If only I knew...

I still find myself waiting for the phone to ring or thinking hey... I have to call mom! I live my days day to day and enjoy each one. I do however long for that day we will be together again. For this time it will be perfect. You will have no pain from your leg or any suffering from your illnesses. We can spend all day laughing and walking through the gardens of heaven, with Tasha of course. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way rushing my life away, for my purpose here has not yet been fulfilled. I don't know how I know that I can just feel it.

Anyway, I will be sad as these days carrying on and also somewhat happy, for you didn't suffer long. I will keep that image of you and I given the thumbs up as I had to leave you for your biopsy forever. Love you Mother! and miss you terribly. Say hi to everyone for me.

Your daughter forever, Nancy.

Nancy Moreau

December 24, 2004

Mother,

Its Christmas eve, the first Christmas without you. It feels so different without you. I had always looked forward to the Christmas holidays and seeing you. I now hang onto all the memories which you have given me to brighten up my holiday season. Although it will never relace you being here, I will cherish these memories forever.

I go back to the days with dad and all of us together getting ready for the holidays. The cookies we baked, the decorations we placed, the wreaths we made, the warmth of a close loving family.I can see the tree loaded with stacks of gifts for us all. Those were some awesome times!

I will always remember the first Christmas after dad passed on. I was having a really hard time. I can downstairs one night crying, missing dad so; you spoke words to me that I understood and that changed the way I was feeling about our loss forever. It was like everything was ok. I search for those same words now to get me through this hoilday season. Nothing anyone can say could ever have that same effect as you did on that lone, sad, day of mine.

I miss you Mother and love you so very much!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Nancy Moreau

October 23, 2004

Mother,

Please be on the look out for my beloved K-9 partner Tasha. She may be trying to find all the lost souls to bring them home. She has had a great career in searching for the lost and missing person here, that I truly believe she would continue her quest now that she is pain free.

Tasha,

You will always be a part of my life. I will take you every where with me, yes even on searches.I know you are truly with me because I can fell you all around me. That is a gift that I have and will embrace.Thank you for all your love you gave to me and others. Your my girl!

Nancy/Shepard22

Mary Moreau Acunto

September 6, 2004

To Kenny,(my godchild) Carrie, John, Nancy and Jimmy,

We have just learned about your beautiful mother, Joan. We were sister in laws for a short 14 + years, but I still can see her laughing and what a laugh it was. I use to tease her that when she was pregnant especially with you Kenny,that she could put her ashtray on her belly as a shelf. She was adored by your grandmother Eva Moreau. Perhaps they can now get to see each other and get reaquainted again. We did have some very good times when we all got together for the many picnics, holidays and just plain visits. I believe we both had the same pediatrician, Dr. Bellizzi and it seemed whenever one of you kids had something wrong, he knew that the rest of the cousins would get it as well because we always did so many things together. Gramma Moreau liked having us all around especially for "Pere Noel" when all of us would gather around for food and of course many Christmas gifts. I'm sure you all can remember the PILES of gifts under the tree and so very little room for all of us to be in the living room but no matter what, we all got there and sat on Santa's lap year after year.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish I had know about your mother's illness as I would have made it my business to get to visit her. I know she must have suffered much and now she's at peace with her God andshe is still watching over all of you. Yes, we all can say she really loved each one of you. She was a good mother and your tributes indicate that. I love you. Perhaps we can keep in touch even if only by e-mail- I do not have any of your addresses or phone #'s

Love and prayers,

Aunt Mary and Uncle Matt

Annette Maher

September 6, 2004

My dear nieces and nephews, Ken, Caroline,John, Nancy and Jim. Accept my deepest and warmest sympathies on the death of your mom. Did not learn of her death until yesterday at our family labor day picnic. It truly came as a shock. Your tributes to your mom were beautiful and touching. May all your wonderful memories sustain you all in this time of sorrow.

Will think of you all in my prayers.

Love, Aunt Nette.

Cara Martin - Nolan

August 30, 2004

Kenny, Carrie, John, Nancy and Jimmy:

I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you during this difficult time. Aunt Joan was a wonderful person and what a tribute you paid to her with your beautiful words in this guest book. You've allowed us all to see some of the wonderful things that we may not have known about your mom by sharing your memories. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

John Moreau

August 28, 2004

I would like to say a few words about my mom.

When my sister Carrie asked me to do this, I said to myself “WOW!”,

How am I going to honor my moms life with a few short words.

Especially since my mom and I had such a complex relationship.

But the more I thought about her and her life,

I realized that it wasn’t going to be all that hard after all.

In Fact, It was going to be simple.

I realized that it was going to be simple because that is how my mom lived her life.

Very Simply.

Her only concern in life,

and what she often worried herself sick over

Was if my brothers and sisters and I were happy.

Or if one of her grand children needed her

Or if someone else in her life needed her

For the most part She dedicated her life to serving the needs of her family and friends.

Don’t get me wrong,

My mom was not Mother Theresa of Calcutta

And I don’t think that she will be beatified any time soon.

But more often than not

She put the needs of those around her above her own.

Because that’s what mothers do

In the few slices of time that she wasn’t doing things for others

She liked to read books,

I would occasionally sneak a glance at what she was reading,

And most of the time it was one of those romance or mystery novels

that in my opinion are way too readily available.

So I would on occasion buy her a book that she could really expand her mind with.

The last one I bought her was a book titled “The Five People you Meet in Heaven”.

She said she loved it. I hope it brought her comfort.

She also liked to watch CNN to keep up with the outside world,

She liked to comment on current events and she always had political opinions.

I’m not sure she always understood political issues…..

but that certainly didn’t stop her from having an opinion.

She spent alot of her spare time on a quest

Searching for the truth and the light to bring her closer to god.

As many of us do.

But I think her all time favorite activity lately,

was playing with her 5 year old granddaughter Neci.

I have a feeling that my mom knew ,

That a good way to understand god,

Was to spend time with an innocent and loveable 5 year old.

One day I witnessed her helping our always-inquisitive Neci

Discover the wonderful and fascinating world of insects

They were sitting on the ground as they let various bugs crawl on their hands.

I took one look at this and said to myself “Good Lord” what is she doing now?

I thought my mom had finally flipped.

But the truth is the good lord knew exactly what she was doing.

Helping one of his beloved children, her grandchild

Find joy in all of his creations,

Even ants.

My mom was not all that interested in the material world.

Unlike Madonna (the pop star), she was not a Material Girl.

She stayed far away from what we know today as the Rat Race.

Her only requirements for herself were clothes to wear, food to eat,

And the humblest of a roof over her head.

She was really….. really….. low maintenance.

She also needed to have someone around that she could take care of.

Because that’s what Mothers do.

At times I questioned her philosophy

I thought that maybe she had her priorities wrong

At the very least I thought she wasn’t being practical.

After all, I thought,

Who wouldn’t want a new 60 inch flat panel tv

To hang on the wall of their new 4000 square foot condominium

located in the Hamptons

Now that’s living

Who wouldn’t want a new Gucci suit

Or a new pair of prada shoes

Now that is status

Indeed, to a lot of people I’ve met

Those are the bare necessities

I don’t even think my mom knew these things existed.

If she did

She didn’t give them much thought.

Apparently she had other things on her mind.

Or other people on her mind.

When I was high school age

I would often get frustrated and angry at our simple existence

I was what one would refer to as a spoiled brat

I would think things like….

Why cant mom just see that I need a new car? Preferably a black Firebird.

Heck, a lot of the other kids at school had cars their parents bought them.

I had to work to pay for my first car.

It wasn’t new, and it wasn’t a Firebird.

I often wondered why she never once expected me to go to an Ivy League College

And become a Lawyer or maybe a Doctor.

I suspect now that she knew

If that is what I wanted to do with my life,

I would have done it.

When I was 16 My mom let me sit in jail for a whole day.

I know what your thinking,

What kind of juvenile delinquent was this guy….

The reason I was in jail was because I had failed to properly license my dog Pierre

It sounds ridiculous, but there I was.

Finally she sent my brother Kenny to get me out.

The whole time I kept thinking,

What kind of parent would let one of their kids sit in jail?

I now say what kind of parent wouldn’t take that opportunity
To teach their child about responsibility.

I’ve never been in trouble with the law since and I’m fairly responsible.

I’m not a teenager anymore,

as you can see I’m a grown man

After I finally matured,

Which by the way, took an abnormally long time

If it ever completely happened.

I realized my moms set of priorities and our simple existence

Were the greatest gifts she gave to me.

My mom never told me who to be in this world

She let me do the soul searching to figure that out for myself.

And that was a gift.

My mom never gave me material things.

She let me work hard to acquire what I had so that I would be a grateful person.

And that was a gift.

My mom never told me what the correct path to god was,

She let me find god my own way

And that was a gift

My mom never told me who to love,

She accepted anyone I loved with open arms and no judgements

And that was a gift.

All the while she was there if I TRULY NEEDED her.

And we rarely had a conversation that didn’t end with her telling me she loved me.

Even when I didn’t always love myself.

She never gave me what I wanted

But she tried the best she could to give me what I needed.

Because that’s what mothers do.

I don’t know if my mom knew It,

but she was wise.

I know that I didn’t know it,

But I was very lucky.

She did the same for my 2 brothers and 2 sisters as well.

A day didn’t go by that she didn’t think of us.

When we got older she would call us on the phone and get our answering machines.

She would leave a message that sounded something like this.

HI JOHNNY HONEY

ITS MOM

ARE YA THERE

PICK UP THE PHONE

ITS MOM

I JUST CALLED TO SEE HOW YOU’RE DOING

ARE YA THERE

PICK UP THE PHONE

ITS MOM

I LOVE YOU

BYE

After listening to these messages I would roll my eyes.

I thought she was trying to drive me crazy.

When I found out that she was leaving the same message at my bothers and sisters

I knew she was trying to drive us crazy

It was payback time

Now I wish I saved one of those messages so I could listen to it once and a while.

She adored and took care of her grandchildren.

She helped take care of her Father when he was stricken with Alzheimers disease.

She helped countless others the best she could.

And she dealt courageously with the many tragedies in her life.

She was often overwhelmed.

She was often anxious and depressed.

But she always carried on.

And loved unconditionally

Because that’s what mothers do.

To her husband Vincent I would like to say

Thank you for the companionship that you provided her.

It was important to her after spending a long day taking care of her grandchildren

Indeed, It was what enabled her.

To my sister Carrie who was truly my moms keeper. I would like to say

The Apple didn’t fall far from the tree.

You are a great mom also.

Not only to Mathieu and Michelle

But sometimes to me and others as well. Thank you.

To all my brothers and sisters I would like to say

We have been through a traumatic and heartbreaking experience the past few weeks.

We should take the time we need to grieve and mourn our loss.

But then we should honor moms greatest wish for us

and spend as much time as possible just being happy.

To Mathieu and Michelle

You now know how much grammie loved you

She wouldn’t rest until you were safely home

And away from the storm.

To the rest of her grandchildren

Grammie loved and thought about you every day.

There wasn’t anything she wouldn’t do for you.

To the rest of my moms loved ones, and theres way too many to mention

Thank you for letting my mom love you.

It’s the love that she felt for you that she has taken with her.

To my God I would like to say

Thank you for sharing with us this truly loving soul.

It doesn’t need to be said that you will take good care of her.
And finally to my mom

I would like to say goodbye

But it’s going to take a while.

Because I Loved you very much.

Caroline Rodrigue

August 26, 2004

Mom,

The last few weeks have been very hard for me. I know you are happy now and I know how much you used to worry about me and the kids and now you can look over us at anytime!! I feel you all around me but still I miss you and our mother/daughter talks. I love you so much.

August 25, 2004

Yvette Raymond (Yattaw)

August 25, 2004

Even though it has been years since we last spoke, you were and will always be a big part of my life. You were like a second mother to me and I will never forget the great times we shared together. My thoughts and prayers go out to the entire family. I love you Joan. May you rest in peace.

Nancy Moreau

August 25, 2004

Mother,

I long for the times you called me on the phone and asked me to pick it up when i wasn't home. I will always remember the "I Love you" following the message left on the answering machine.

You will be missed by me more than anyone could imagine.

I Love you Mother!

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