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Jessica Barrera-Luera Obituary
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Memories and Condolences
for Jessica Barrera-Luera
Deseree
November 14, 2019
Hey checha its me dezi .. im 20 now im sure you know that. Um i Have a baby boy named Jordiah.. hes so strong hes been through so Much and hes barely 2. He likes to chill with damian we love him so much and see him as often as possible. Jordiah cries for him sometimes . Idk why ive been missing you like crazy these past couple of weeks youve been on my mind and it scares me because doctors tell me that he can go at any time and i dont want him to hes my only purpose in life.. youve got to know how that feels .. ive never known you had this but i googled your name today to see if i could find pictures or something idk what i was looking for honestly i came across this.. the family really fell apart after you past away.. weve been through so much throughout the years but have stayed strong i cried for you today i never cry you can ask anybody. i feel like its pointless but my heart just aches so bad i have the worst feeling in my stomach all the time and i cant explain it. I know we all miss you reading these messages to you i now understand why my mom looks so sad when she looks at me sometimes its cause im alot like you . She had this fear i would pass away at 19 too but i made it boo! My baby boy almost didnt and i swear I wouldnt know how to live without him.. i love you and miss you so much i know everybody else does too even though they dont write anymore .. ima go now i hate feeling sad. Please take care of my baby i dont want him to leave me
mom
April 7, 2010
Jessica, Its been the hardes three years of my life. I know that things will never be the same. There isnt a day that goes by without you on my mind. I still dont understand and I guess I never will. I know you have to brightening the heavens the same way you did here. I wish people would just understand the bond you and I had. You are missed soooo much and every wedding I go to or any event period I always wonder what you and Pinky would be doing. Right with us and I do believe I see yall out on the floor sometimes and it brings a smile with tears running down my cheeks. God it still hurts soo much. Damian misses you soo much.
Yesterday Mark found a CD stuck in your stereo he now uses at work. It was a burned one and written on it it says Jessica Barrera love Damian Sanchez. I put it up for Damian along with other memories I have put up for him from you.
I MISS YOU...... I LOVE YOU
Erica
February 9, 2009
i love you !!
I still think of you everyday.
I can't believe its going on 2 yrs. Damn it sux. I'm so lost in time it's like i cant remember anything that happened in 2007 That year is lost! I have no memories of it. All I know is everytime i write 09 i think what I have i done with 07 & 08 ? I still think B & Kathy are 10. They are gonna be 13 !Really I'm so lost that year poassed through so harshly . Leaving nothing but dispair & heartache behind. It took away everything that was precious to me. It took away my nephews mom , my kids CHECHA , Mine & B's sister. Chela & the girls miss you so much!!
Everyone misses you alot.
Well we put Dame in baseball! I know you'l be watching hm. I know you always said you would put him in so i made sure he got enrolled.
It's even better cuz him & Aaron will be on the same team. Well I gots to go So TTYL
Love YA More than you'll ever know!
December 20, 2008
Jessie,
I haven't writen here in a while. I am reliving again and again our last year (our last holidays) together since dealing with the 2007 is still too hard.
Brianna misses you - The dancing, The hair do's as well all know that both were great talents you had.
Today at the mall I saw the last Christmas gift you gave me........
It brought tears to my eyes
I've remembered as well the gift you had wanted to give me.
Damian is every bit of you as a teen!!!!
Brianna also reminds me so much of you
I still don't understand
I guess I never will
mario m
December 18, 2008
im deeply sorry to find out that shes gone this is an old "friend" of erica my condolences go to all of you sincerely Mario M
WE MISS U, WE LUV U......... MOM
August 7, 2008
Another B-Day without you......
But, I Thank you for the call I know you would have made
I thank you for the gift you probably would have given me
I thank you for the lunch, or dinner you would have treated me to
My last B-day memory of you is still so fresh (Olive Garden). If God would grant me just one wish you'd be right here.........
The Tweeties I recieved were u I know........
Your son, my precious grandson... He is everybit of you. He does the things you used to. He always tells me how much he loves me
Change subject-- Javi and Andrea bought me a cake, and omg Brianna, and Javi smoothered the frosting on my face. I imagined you'd be running behind them helping them.. I couldn't run (as if you helped them anyways, and held me).
Today your sisters birthday, I know she wishes you were here too. She misses you so much!!!!!
I sent her a TWEETY today :)
Missing You Immensely MOM
July 30, 2008
I went to another Quinceanera, and you not there again. Knowing how u would have been there just because it was a family one......... Not to mention how yall liked hanging out with us. I missed that PHONE CALL!!!!! "Hey what time are we leaving", or "What should I wear?"
I missed seeing you out there dancing....... That slim little body out there bouncing around.
Your tia Rina, says you talk to her, and you visit her. She's told me what Georgia says you want.......
This brings me joy
Its brings me confirmation
It brings me HOPE
IT Assures Me of What no one Will ever BREAK or COME BETWEEN.......
My memories are Proof
:) ~ :0 ~ :(
July 25, 2008
Hey sister,
How 's things?
I guess you see it all.
Well thanks for looking out for us!
I miss you like you can't imagine.
The kids miss you too.
MAn for being so little they deal with it good. Sometime you can see all the pain in their little eyes. And it hurts so bad. It's funny but i think they're acting so strong so i wont cry! Well im shopping for the kids school cloths & u know how i hate shopping ,but I have to now.
Dezi is so picky the jeans have ti fit right. And the shirts can't be regular school shirts.
Aaron & Mercy are easier to shop for.
Love YA sister.
I was remembering the cheesecakes!
The memories are more vivid now We miss you.....
July 15, 2008
Hey I went to a quinceanera this weekend with your tia Connie and family. Michael was there..... I finally heard how you and him came to realize that yall were related. Every event I go to I think of you and of course a river begins....... I could see you out there dancing like you always did. My little girl out there bouncing around. You have been my only child that enjoyed dancing with Mark. How we miss that. Brianna doesn't even like to dance with him. :) I can bearly get her out there for the line dances you enjoyed. But Chailees danced with him (per her request, just like you)..... I think she's going to enjoy it the way you did. Your son is doing fine, and reminds me so much of you.
I love you and I miss you so much. I definetely know that that will never change. I've always and will always miss my children when they stray, but this is very different. I wish you had only strayed. Then I know you'd be coming back............ I am eager to see you again. My wish everyday is to see you again.
You gave so much to so many. Your missed so much by so many. It hurts when I see life just go on... and people just move on but I guess its part of life. I still continue to feel so helpless.
Brianna began to look through some of your things and couldn't handle it. She ran to me and we both just embraced with the memories of you.
Erica J. Rendon
July 14, 2008
Hey siter I sat in your car the other day . I can't move on it seems like it wasn';t suposed to happen.
What happened ? I may never know. i try to believe that your in a better place & believe that your okay .
I'd like to think that I'm okay. But in reality I'm far from okay. I plan on doing things then back out. I Love you. I try not to think of you so i can have a normal day. Sorry but my normal days are far gone.
I know that one day this will be easier to deal with ,but when?
I'm writting to my dead sister in hopes that this helps me grieve!
How pathetic! Little sister it hurts so bad! I dunno if i can ever be okay.
Thanks for looking out for us.
TTYL!
MOM
July 11, 2008
Everyday I think of you
Everyday I miss you
Everyday theres memories
And, then this emptiness..........
Your laugh
your nurvous laugh
your scared laugh
Your eyes
The dimple...... your face.
I miss you so much
A Love that will Never End...... :)
July 1, 2008
Now a few days away from 4th of July........ Remembering the last one we spent together. Oh my God how I miss you. I know this is never going to get better, but the memories of certain conversations do give me some strenght. Because of some conversations is that I can stand and follow through in your memory. My little girl, so full of joy as a child. My little Rebel as a teen. Great and wonderful mom, daughter, and confidant as a young woman. As a child you gave me joy, as a teen I grew with knowledge (which I use today), as a young adult your humanity, and love for life. The respect you gave and showed even though only you and I knew will never be forgotten.
When things arise as they had while you were here I remember your words and they give me strenght and courage to go on.
You are like my lil Angel...........
Love MOM
June 19, 2008
Hey sweetie, I miss u so much....you already know this. Damian was able to go with us to your cousins wedding. He had a great time. I've got to agree with your sister about these symbolic events being to hard. When at church I could see you and Pinky, and imagined what your wedding would have been like. This was so hard. As I saw you and imagined tears came a flowing. I imagined both of your engagement rings!!!At the reception your brother broke down as I could imagine he thought of you.... and, your wedding plans. As your cousin danced with her father I could not contain myself and cried along with my niece on opposite sides. As she cried out of joy, my tears were of great sadness. As family members consoled me, and watched her and went over to console her. All I could think of was how lucky she was. All I could say was "at least she's here and alive". Her tears were of Joy........... Why couldn't my tears be of Joy? I was happy for my niece and her daughter. And all I could do was imagine and remember the plans of your wedding. How beautiful it would have been. All the things you had said you would want. How we were going to start looking for things.
Missing u is getting harder and even though I still try to ignore you not being here. I still want to believe that Pinky got a job with the airline and yall relocated and soon we will see each other.
Thats getting harder since yall were so family oriented and enjoyed being around the family.
I try to make the best of things and go to events that I'm invited to in memory of yall. I know yall would be there.
Also because of the valuable lesson I have learned of not knowing when will be the last time you see someone. I saw you the day before you passed, BUT HAD I ACCEPTED YOUR INVITATION AND GONE WITH YALL..........
Yall always tried going when invited even if it was for a little while. Yall are missing at every event!!!! Give us a sign that you are there.........
Next event is Baby Louies Baptism. This Saturday.......... The memories of your plans will be with me on that day.
Erica J. Rendon
June 19, 2008
Hey sister!!!
I pray everyday to find some peace or closure,still I have no confort in you being gone. The wound still feels fresh! I want to be okay! And just when i think im okay a wave of anguish comes over me. I feel as though I can't let go of all the pain i feel. For pain is the only way I accept it. But at the same time this very pain in takeing over every aspect of my life.
I know you'd want me to be happy , but how!??????????????????
I miss you so much I wish you were here. Not a moment goes by i dont think of you. I talk about you often in fear that the kids wont remember their Checha! In fear that Dame wont remember his mommy!
I recorded him singing @ his school thing he's so cute I wish you could see him. Dispite everything he is Happy! I fear the older years!
Thats when its gonna be harder.
He wont understand. I don't want him to be sad.
Erica Jeanette
June 9, 2008
Hey sweet little sister!
I still miss you! For some reason I can't go to babyshowers , wedding or anyother symbolic event!!
I try & I want to but I dunno!
I wish I could. I miss you so much!!!
I'm loosening up some! You know having a lil more fun!!
I'm trying really hard to enjoy life!
It's hard i feel guilty for having FUN!!
I feel you're missing out!
Well TTYL!!
LOVE YA LOTS!!
XXXXOOOOXXXX
May 22, 2008
SISTER,
As you know i haven't been able to move on! I've been reading that it takes 2 yrs to get over a loss . I don't believe i ever will! I needed you there yesterday! I've needed you several times in this past yr 1/2.
I see people haveing babies and i get so sad!! I was supposed to have a neice by now!!!! I see pretty lil girl stuff & I want to buy it for your girl. I wonder what she'd look like?
And if you would have really named her Dezaliya? when im alone i look back and remember the crazy thing you did. I remember makeing a mess throwing mayo & Katchup @ eachother. And people looking at us like we were crazy cuz we were adults already!. I miss everything. From your stupid comments to the way you answered the phones @ work! It so hard to move on! I try to not think of you but it's impossible.
Keep Looking after us!
Erica Jeanette
Missing you Profoundly Wisshing you'd pop up and say - Bad joke I'm Sorry
May 16, 2008
Jessica,
imagining you still here is getting harder and harder. I tried to block you not being here. Kinda pretending that you had moved away like you and Pinky had planned at one time (when he was going to school). Everytime I'd think of you I'd try hard to get busy. Its not working anymore.........
The memories of your birth, through childhood, through teenage years, and then young adult to the beautiful person, daughter, mother and friend that you were to me and so many. The crazy things that you said and did. I miss your attitude
I miss our conversations.
I miss you calling me for lunch.
I miss you calling to see what we had planned for the weekend.
I miss you asking me to babysit.
I miss calling you to help Brianna.
I miss planning trips.
I miss the BBQ'S.
I miss your texting.
I miss calling you and Pinky to come help with the moonwalks.
I miss you so very much.......
Erica Jeanette I love you so much!
May 8, 2008
Hey sister just writting to tell you about the kids baseball! Man they are doing so good! You'd be proud of them! Aaron is the pitcher now.
Cool ,Hu? I wish you were here to see them they are so cute it's not even funny! Phat & Dame Keep saying next yr when I play!!
Man it's gonna be cool Imma make sure they are on the same team. And you know how they are together. Well sister we miss you and we really wish you could be here. We're always thinking of you and includeing you in everything we do. I still can't except it althogh I know theres nothing I can do. But wishing youd come back like on the Pets cementary all crazy ,but at least you'd be here .
TTYL
Missing You with every breath I take
May 7, 2008
Hey mija, I helped Amanda (you know what I'm talking about). Also, this past weekend we went to Mariah's quinceanera. Knowing you would have been there with us, and knowing you wouldn't have wanted me to miss it I went. It was nice to be around the family...... and actually have a good time. Damian was not able to go as you would have wanted him to. When I saw the young kids dance I could see you and Pinky out there. We certain moves I saw you....
Erica Jeanette
May 5, 2008
Hello Sister<
It's monday!
I miss you so much!!
Well i guess Bye
LoveYa .
Watch over us!
Erica Jeanette I love you sister!
April 30, 2008
Hey sister,
Well i see you everywhere;
only it's not you.
I hear your voice in a crowd of people once again it's not you!
This was supposed to be the year!
XXooXX
:(
LOVE, MOM
April 15, 2008
Hi Jessie,
Today is your precious sons 4th birthday. He is every bit of you... He misses you dearly and often asks for you. He says you are in heaven but he wants you to come now, "Now" he says.
He brings me so much joy. No one or anything will ever replace you but when he hugs me and kisses me I feel you..... When he tells me how much he loves me I hear you.....
Nothing is ever going to be the same. I see and hear peoples pain. I read peoples comments and its nice to see how much people loved you and its nice to know the ones that actually still remember you!
I've decided to keep this page ongoing as a tribute to you..... For you will live forever in the hearts of those who loved you so. In me and in my heart things will never be final........ You are there and will always be there. You are not gone and I can't seem to register that word. It just doesn't exist...... I MISS YOU SOOOOOO MUCH. Please watch over us.
Rina Luera
March 29, 2008
Jessica,
All year long since you left us, I have been reading all the entries that people have left and have been debating if I should write my feeling down. It seems so final, when I can keep my thoughts of sadness and share them with you when we talk through Georgia. You have touched so many lives with your warm smile and crazy things you would say and do. You have left a lasting empression to so many of us. Lil Chris was dating a girl for a while with your exact name and everytime he talked about her, made of think of you even more. The holidays were horrible this year, our family x-mas table this year was dedicated to you, Pinky and Grandma Victoria. Thanks for all the warning and for looking over us and for keeping an extra eye on Big Chris. He said to tell you to keep the radio down, he is too old to listen to music so loud. I have truly enjoyed that last conversation we had with you and Pinky. Till we speak again, I know you are in a great place, and I know we will see each other again.
We Love You Always,
Tia Rina, Tio Chris & Cuz Chris Luera
MISSING U DEEPLY
March 20, 2008
Mija, today is real hard for me, and I'm sure for everyone that loved you. Mark and Brianna already took you your cake..... Your would have been 21st Birthday..... I remember talking to Mark about making you a big one!!!! Javier and you and all of us at Vegas....I just can't believe it. Why? Why? Why? I ask and I ask and ask and NO ANSWERS. Its hurts so much. Too, too much, and then yesterday I was at the sight of the accident. OMG, i just had to run, get out of there. I will go this afternoon and take Javier and Damian to visit with you. Please, sweety continue to give me strenght. It is getting much harder. I try not to think but I just can't do it anymore. You not being here is real. The pain, this pain is just not going away!!!
I need you here... RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW.
Erica Jeanette XXXOOOXXX
March 20, 2008
Hey Sister,
Happy B~Day !
As if it could be.
I woke up with mixed feelings!
I felt glad it was your birthday then i
realized or remembered i would not be bringing you a cake.
Instead I reminise on the Big Plans your Big 21 !!!
Love, MOM
March 10, 2008
The year went by so fast. Obstacles have not given me time to mourn; The pain is there........oh, it is there!!!!
Your son is now in a private school the way you wanted. He is enjoying it very much and those that knew and loved you (should know what you wanted for him)will see that he is kept where you wanted him. Keep watching over us......
Your birthday nears.... Your 21ST, that you looked forward to. How I miss You..........there is no pain greater than that of loosing a child!!!!!
Erica Jeanette
February 26, 2008
Hey sister,
It's been 1 long agonizing year.
Life has not been indureing!
So many thing have happened this past year . So Many feelings !
I was supposed to plan your wedding! It was gonna be marvoulous! So many times I wish you were here.So many reasons for why you should be here.I Love U!
Jessica and Erica
February 19, 2008
new year 2006
February 19, 2008
CLAUDIA TAYLOR
February 19, 2008
Hey Jessica, this whole month of February seems to be the longest month this year for some reason. I have cross out all the days on my calendar and just moved on to march thinking that it would be easier but it’s not the feeling and hurt I have been fighting all year lying to my self that in time it does get better but it’s not true. I have a picture of you on my desk so that I can see you every day some time I smile and at time I get sad. I can not believe that it’s been a year it’s feels like just yesterday still unbelievable that your not here. Love you and miss u always
Erica Jeanette
February 19, 2008
Hey sister ,
Good Morning to you!
I want to tell you you'd be proud I don't hate any body any more.
When you left us I started going to church because I wanted to be with you someday. I now understand that was the wronge reason to start going , but know I know where I'd go if I pass away moments from now!
Im so happy for this change in my life. Who would of thought me.
I'm ready for change. I've excepted change. See Ya in a few min , hrs , days ,wks,months ,yrs. I dunno when but I'm certain I will.
I Love Ya sister.
Erica Jeanette
February 15, 2008
Well sis i dont think marriage is in the books for me.
I can't do it without you!
EricaJeanette We Miss You So Much!!
February 15, 2008
Well sister ,
I wish you were here ! I finally got an engagement ring! LOL
After so many years.We might be getting married in Oct. No Party ! Just us & the kids. We had a decent time yesterday . We went to Outback . We bought the kids shoes too. I think you picked the girls. Because there is no way i would of approved of them . They are Pink & Black J's . Im sure you would have a pair also . Man sister . I dont know what to say . Its just not the same.
TTYL
Erica Jeanette Take Care of us although i think u already do.
February 14, 2008
Happy Valentines Day sister!
I love you!
I was remembering how last year we drove around looking for that Big Card & Bear for Pinky!
And then he had bought you a Big Dog. I was just remembering!
The kids Say Happy V~ DAy too ! And that they love you!
Love MOM, and missing you the same as the day I had to let you go
February 11, 2008
Hey mija, Yesterday I was remembering yours and your cousins crazy notion of enrolling and going off to the Job Corps. You were head strong to leave and make a better life for yourself. I remember Amanda was so scared, and you were of course going to protect her. You were so excited. Pinky was to follow in the same direction..... I was remembering the trust you had placed in me by leaving your son with me, when you knew you would be gone anywhere from one year to two years..... You were always thinking of his best interest. YOu knew that he'd be well taken care of. You wanted your son with me..... Everything you wanted for him I want you to know will become of him. He's getting ready to start school. In a private just like you wanted him to.
Love Ya, Your Big Sista!!
February 8, 2008
Well sister today is a day wher i really wish iwould of stayed @ home sleeping the pain away.
I wish you would have been more clear as to what your wishes were.
Instead of telling people different.
Man sis you are missed so much.
Not a day goes by your name is not mentioned. That is why it is so hard for me to hang around my usual group.
Love Ya XXXOOOOXXXX
February 7, 2008
Sister!,
Well Im @ Work .
This week has been so hard.
Im falling behind on my job .
I cant focus on it i just start to cry . Just knowing that it's almost been a year has my emotions all rattled up.
Last night i took Dezi to see Hannah Montana 3~D. It was ok. She was so excited. Im trying to create good memories with them cause you never know.
Last year opened my eyes in that aspect!
Well TTYL!!
We love you, We miss U and how we wish U could come back
February 7, 2008
Hey Jessie, yesterday Brianna and I got our hair done. I let her get a strip of light brown. It reminded me of when we took you to get the blue you wanted on your hair. Of course it was Julie who did yours and you got more than Brianna did, but I'm sure u would have tried to convince me to let her get more. For now you should be proud of me. One strand is enough. She misses u so much......... She tries not to mention u much cause she doesn't like to see me cry. For being so little she has been a great support, you would be proud of her. I do agree with your older sister its getting harder and harder. The year just began and already I'm dreading the holidays..... No family vacation can be a family vacation without you. You not being here is just imcomplete.
Erica Jeanette
February 5, 2008
once again im caught up in the memories of you.
Man , sister it is not getting easier in fact i think its getting worse.
Love Ya
I remember everything about you. I will never forget the crazy things you did.
January 28, 2008
The begining of an other week.
Sister i hope you dont see how
aginizing this past year has been for me. I want you to be happy & to know im ok. I miss you so much.
At times it feels pointless.
I pray for understanding.
I pray for me.
I pray for all of those who lost you and are SAD.
I pray for those who have lost anybody ! Losing a loved one has to be the worst feeling a humanbeing can encounter.
Well sister I Miss You!
Missing you like crazy.......This pain is just so unimaginable ,Never would have imagined.....
January 25, 2008
when I think of all the beautiful memories you left, I cry, I laugh.... When people talk to me about you and the things you'd say and do, I cry, I laugh... I enjoy when people talk about you. Especially people that I hadn't met. You were so special, you did many remarkable, and beautiful things.........I look at the picture you formated with a nice background of me and Mark, and I cry and cry and cry. "20 LOVE 06"
Only my Jessica..... My adventurous and beautiful Jessica. I can only imagine what everyone will say of you in heaven. Say hi to everyone there, and tell them that your thier's for now.
Erica Jeanette XXXXOOOOXXXXX
January 25, 2008
Good Mornig Sister!
I hope you woke up with the sound of angles!
I woke up late.
Stopped @ Walmart cuz phat wanted a skirt last night but they didn't have her size so i went to another walmart & got it for her. Shes gonna be so happy! Yep she picks out her own cloths.
Oh they are very girly >Your help is really needed. Im not that type.
So it's hard! The nail painting ,doing hair i don't know how!
Well sister TTYL !
Erica Jeanette You Are Missed!
January 24, 2008
Hey sister,
An other day.
I miss you so much !
AHH I just want to scream!
I love you ! I love you!
That time of year is comeing where it seems people leave us.
Well Its okay.
No its not. I miss you intensely
I'll write you later i gotta go.
Erica Jeanette Sending Lots of LUV Your Way!
January 23, 2008
Hey jessica,
My everyday is becomeing a night mare. I can't sleep @ night .
I can't focus during the day!
I dont know what to do!
Time does NOT heal all wounds!
Well I'm thinking of you !
TTYL
missing u so muuuuuuch
January 23, 2008
Hi tweetie, thanks for watching over us. Your son is still with us, like you would have wanted it. I hear him laugh and talk to you and Pinky when he's asleep. Sometimes he remembers and tells me. I see him do the things u said he would do. I know he is just like you. We miss u everyday......you were a great daughter. No matter what u loved mommy, and were always there.......... memories of u keep me going
Erica Jeanette XXXOOXXX
January 18, 2008
Hey sister its me again.
It seems no matter how nice i want to be i GUESS MY PAIN IS STILL TO DARK FOR THEM TO POST YOU.
I love U ! And nothing will ever change that !
Well you know exactlly how i feel.
We still love you and miss you. We talk about you everyday @ dinner.
The kids pray for you to watch over them. They really believe you do. I've been takeing them to the park . I noticed they had been missing that. U used to take them.
Baseball is a new topic I think im gonna put them in it. Not sure . Maybe to keep them busy i'll make them a lil happy ! Don't you think ? TTYL
XOXOXOCO
January 18, 2008
Hi Tweetie, memories of u. You in your son..........
I miss everyday as if Februay 26, 2007 was today. Lunch without u is just not lunch time. Weekends without u calling and saying "what you doing"?, are not whole. Weekends without hearing u say "do you have any plans tonight", That sometimes meant can you watch Dame..., other times meaning "can we go with yall, or you want to do something"?
It's so hard..........
Erica Jeanette XXXXXXOOOOOOXXXX
January 14, 2008
Hey sister im just writting to say i love you and miss you so much.
XXXoooXXX
ONCE AGAIN WRITING TO U BECAUSE I'LL NEVER FORGET U! wELL SISTER DEZI SAYS HI SHE WANTS U TO KNOW THAT SHE LOVES U AND MISSES U!
December 27, 2007
~ SISTER THEY NEVER POST WHAT I HAVE TO SAY ~ mY THOUGHTS ARE GLOOMY . I TRY TO MAKE THEM SOUNG NICER SUGAR COAT THEM BUT IT DOESNT WORK. i JUST WANT U TO KNOW I AM THINKING OF YOU AND I MISS U !
missing u Mom
December 26, 2007
Hi baby, I missed u a whole lot!!! Christmas was just not Christmas without u. We stayed home...... missed and remembered you all day and night. Not just because of the holiday, because it felt not so different than anyday prior or anyday after. Well, u know Christmas has always been to me the Birth of our Lord. Because of the gifts the three wise men brought to the baby we have always enjoyed giving gifts. Well, this year was different. I didn't shop much for I know I could not have handled it. Needless to say my grandchildren have not yet opened thier gifts. They were with me on Saturday and Sunday. Saturday I joined them wth Cindi and Rudy at the movies to see Alvin and the chipmunks. After that Dezi asked me to take her to the cementary (says her mommy doesn't take her), so I did. They were going to go with us on Monday but that wasn't possible because your sister was busy and had to pick them up from me early. Dezi said she was going to see if Erica would take her on Christmas day. She wanted to leave u a note.
The wonderful memories of u make it so much harder to cope with. I was also remembering the way u decorated your Christmas tree last year. I have some of your ornaments and flowers. Brianna has the snowmen you thought were so neat in her room. She misses u so much and at times I see her so angry. Please help her feel some peace. I think we are all so angry because we miss u so much. I remember your words and I find them to give me strenght. I see now some of the things u said about some that I could not believe back then. I remember and understand now. I am glad I had u, I am so grateful for you, even though the time we shared was to short.
Your Dame had a great Christmas. He has gotten gifs from everyone. His favorite I'm sure is the F150 Truck (it has a real radio), he rides it like a pro. He gets under it and acts like he's working on it and he checks the battery often to make sure that it works. He loves the trains he's gotten, and the guitar, skates, tools, V-tech, and many more. I know he misses u very much, and I often hear him talk in his sleep and mention you and who he called daddy (Pinky). He says your in Heaven, and that he wants you to come down.
Erica Jeanette I love u & miss u in a way i can not explain.
December 21, 2007
Sister During this joyful time Im so filled with Hate! I miss u so much i cant restain my feeling the more i see decorations Happy people the more saddness lingers at my side. I try to feel the christmas spirit but its not in me at all this year! Not one lil bit. I send happy comments to people but the truth is it feels like im dieing inside.
Well Sister Merry christmas I hope your is better than Mine. Lots of Love & Kisses
Just Me..... MOM
December 19, 2007
Every day is hard, and the Christmas season is excruciating. Lights, gifts, and family - they all remind me of you Jessie. Your smile lit up a room, your gift of generosity was boundless, and your love for family and friends was immense. I miss you so much that my heart aches.
I remember our Christmas shopping last year. You were so full of joy and love. You just wanted to buy everyone that perfect gift. Something that they would like... Not just something to say I thought of you. No it had to be something that reminded you a little of who they were, and what they liked. I also remember that grandfather’s clock. I remember telling you there’s next year Jessica.
I remember how excited you were to get your own little place (house), and how it made you feel. When you asked to let you have Christmas at your place instead of at home. I remember how happy you were,and I’m glad I didn’t tell you there’s next year Jessica…..
The best gift this year would be to hear you say………..
“You didn’t think I’d miss Christmas with you, did you, Mom?”
LOVE U, MOM
December 18, 2007
The mass in memory of you was great this past Sunday. Your brother, little sister, Mark and your son attended.
Missing u a whole lot. With everyday that goes by it gets harder...
December 18, 2007
Sister!
I just want u 2 know that I love You & Miss you!
Well i gots to get back to work .LOL
I love you Take Care of us!
XXXOOXX
Erica Jeanette
Missing U Bunches.......
December 11, 2007
Hi baby, Sunday after mass Javi, Bri, Dame, Mark and me went to decorate where you now rest! It looks very nice, I hope u like..... We also put some lights at the house. Everything is in memory of you (especially the candles, lights and tree decor). Damian loves the lights.
Love You, Miss You..... If only u could be my Christmas gift this year
December 7, 2007
Hey Jessie, after my last entry I remembered our spontaneous Corpus Christi trip last year. Just thinking how you and Pinky were able to convince us to take the trip. We had not even planned on staying out there, but how nice it was. We spent money but that now has become one of my best ever spent money memories (just like Disney). Remembering the fun yall had. The laughs, the pictures, the conversations. Remembering Bea's, Marks cousins wedding, that kids place over on Bay Area Blvd (watching you and Brianna play). How much yall enjoyed going out and hanging out with us.
December 5, 2007
Hey Sister ,
Guess what !?
Chicken Butt!! LOL so i can hear!
Man i miss you here at work so much!
No decorateing this year!
My office is so dull, No ribbons No glitter just Bare walls.
The kids have a tree (FAKE ONE)
Christmas just isn't Cheerful this year. I bought Dame & B gifts .
Man sister i love you so much.
I miss disagreeing with you.
I miss covering for you.
i miss yelling at Pinky because of you!
I miss You !
I write u a lot ,but they don't post i dunno why.
So i write on myspace .Man sister no singing at the office our oldies! U know what i mean !
No lil niece for me this year after all.
I miss u so much MOM
December 5, 2007
Good morning Jessie, This morning as i drove to work, I listened to the tape of you........ It hurts but it also gives me some comfort. Remembering you as a child to you becoming a beautiful woman, and I just can't understand why? You gave so much, and we still could have recieved more. Our many conversations now become clearer, more than ever. The whole year or two before your passing. The year of your preganancy, and the birth of your child transformed you into the fine woman that you were, and still are in my heart. Jessica, just everything about you is missed so, so muuuuchhhh!! Your laugh, your jokes, your tremenduous humanity, and your love for your family, even your throw down attitudes.....JUST EVERYTHING.
When I see girls in thier wedding dresses it hurts so much. When I know of people planning to buy a house it hurts alot. Everything u told me you wanted me to be a part of is gone.......but the memories are alive and will always be as I will always remember and cherish our times together. Last year because of you I had a good year... I will always cherish my last mothers day with you, my birthday with you, the get togethers with you........
Besides that I remember our trip to Disney. You were just like me wanting to see everything and enjoy everything. Everyone else was to slow for us. You had so much fun. The joy it brings me now to remember the joy in your eyes to see Damian have fun, and you yourself have fun. The memory of planning our family trip this year.................
I just can't understand why???????????
love U and miss U so much...... Mom
December 4, 2007
Hi sweetie, Just here as always thinking of you.
We were at Cindi's Saturday. It was her mother-n-laws birthday. Everyone enjoyed Damian as usual. Linda was feeling ill and Damian comforted her by giving her a hug. He was really concerned, just like you would have been.......
We've been going to Lakewood. I've been giving donations in Memory of you......Javier has been going with us, and finally this Sunday he stood up and accepted God back in his life. We had breakfast with Dora and her husband, mother-n-law and father-n-law. It was a very nice service. Dora showed me how to get to the parking we parked when we went back the first time with her. You would have liked to park there....much easier. She also took me to fill out an application for the small children parking lot.
I finally bought a Christmas tree for both Brianna and Damian. Its not the traditional!!!! It's artificial......... I'm decorating it in memory of you. I'm sure each item that i've picked is to your liking. I know u wouldn't have wanted Bri or Dame to be without. It is so, so hard. I'll also be decorating the cementary this weekend for you, mom, dad, and Johnny.
Missing You, MOM
November 27, 2007
Jessie, Thanksgiving was very, very hard, but I did give thanks to GOD for Damian. I thanked God for Erica and my grandchildrens health, for Javier, Brianna, Damian, Mark, and all the family and friends whose support I've had throughtout this tragic year. I asked him to take care of you, and I asked him to make sure that besides him, you would be among the first,along with mom and dad that I see when its my time. For Dame and Brianna we joined different people as they celebrated Thanksgiving. Brianna and Damian had a enjoyable day. First we went over Mellissa's, and joined Richard, Russell and your Tia Connie at noon. Then we joined Cindi, Rudy, and thier kids,Javier, Linda and Mark, and thier daughters, Alma and Jerry, and Jerry's grandson at Cindi's House. Stayed there for awhile and then we joined Olga, and Silvestre at Missy's house for awhile. I remembered how last year you and Pinky went with Mark and me to early bird specials at Circuit City. Just remembering how we'd call each other from store to store to see how long the lines were. I didn't go this year.......
My grandkids came to visit on Friday and stayed over until Sunday morning. This was great!!
YOU BROTHER JAVI LOVE YOU
November 21, 2007
Hey sister. I hope that you are ok. I know you must be sad also, just like us. I love you and miss you with all my heart. I promiss you that I will care for Damian. I'll remember and do exactly as you asked. I am doing good in school just like you wanted me to. Next semester I will begin all my basics!! With you gone nothing feels right. I really wish you were here, but even though your gone you will always be alive in my heart. Almost everynight I dream of you, that I wish I'd keep sleeping so that I can continue to see you. You and Pinky are missed by everyone just about. I miss yall and I need yall. I hope u know that you always gave me strenght when I needed it. You always tried helping everyone. Everyday I get up I am wishing to see you.
For now Happy Thankgiving, and
"I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU TISTTER"
:) LOVE YOU :)
Your brother javier rendon
November 21, 2007
Hey sister . hope that you are ok . I know you are very sad ! So are we. I love you and miss you with all my heart! I promiss you that i will take good care of your son like you asked me to! I remember when i was staying with you, and you said if anything would ever happen to you that you wanted mom and i to raise your son and not let him get in any trouble or make the same mistakes we did. I am doing good in school like you wanted me to! Next semester i start my real classes! Your friend roxanna always goes 2 visit you! She says that she loves you and misses you alot! Hey girl this year has been the worst year of my life with you gone. I wish that you were here! I guess God has other plans. You and Pinky are missed by everyone. I love yall and need yall! I hope you know that you always gave my strenght and helped me see the good in life . It's hard too see that now! But I try in memmory of you Sis! People might say that you are dead but to me you are very much alive in my heart! You are a very special women! You always tried to help everyone. I am every day wishing to see you. I know that one day i will ! I will see you when i am entering heavens gates! In my heart you will always be here sister! You are always in my dreams, I wish i would never wake up to continue dreaming of you! I Love you and need you! Dang we are not a happy little family anymore (with you not here)! I dont know what i am going to do on new years eve, but I am still going to Las Vegas for your 21st birth day like we had planned.
For now Happy Thankgiving, and "I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TISTTER"!!!!!!!!
:) lOVE YOU :)
November 21, 2007
Hey sister,
1 day til turkey ,. I remember last year when you bought the rolls from Golden Coral You bought so many ,we ate them for days.
I look at the pic with you & Joe with a big ol plate of food ! I wish i could go back .
I've been o.k. The kids are o.k.
They miss you so much they talk about you all the time . It so Sad.
Although i have many things to be thankful for , I still feel empty . There's a huge VOID in my life now i don't know how i get up everyday and do what i need to.
You'd be so proud of me Church is almost a evey Sunday routine.
I get it now , i'm changeing a lot so i can be sure to see you again someday .
Many times i close my eyes and i don't want to open them , for i fear that you will disapear .
While my eyes are closed i can see you so clearly , Even better than the pictures hanging in my office .
I wish you could come Back!!!!
I miss you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love your big sister
Erica JeanetteXXXXOOOOXXXX
Love you Tweetie, Love you very very very much, Its too hard...........I miss you So So much
November 21, 2007
Jessica, tomorrow will be so hard..... It's hard to imagine what it will be like. It's just to hard but I know what you would want and what you wouldn't want. I'll try but it will be hard. It's just not right and I just can't understand. I know everything he does is for a reason but I will never understand or see it. Tomorrow a day to give thanks, and be grateful!!! Seeing you is all I want... My baby, Why?
Deeply missing you, MOM
November 20, 2007
See this is like the third time today. It brings back memories of how we would always call each other many times during the day. Well, I went to church this past Sunday, and after I dropped Dame at his class, (Brianna stayed with him) as I walked in they were playing the song "I'm still Standing". I felt the song and realized that that was me. Still standing by the grace of GOD. The memories kept pouring as well as my tears. We didn't sit on the same side as we always did. As a matter of fact we sat opposite of where we used to sit making it much harder for me. I kept looking over where we used to sit, and you weren't there. It was like I was suppose to be there that day. Joel gave a beautiful service, and prayer by one of the ladies was great, and I cried, and I cried. I just can't understand. Baby, I have no doubt of where you are.......... I felt like if you wanted me there, because of the way it happened. Please give me the strenght that I need to continue going, as we would have if you were here.
Love Mom
November 20, 2007
Jessie, Thanksgiving is in a couple of days. I'm not happy that your not here. I guess when God gave you your little bundle of joy, he was also looking out for me. Knowing you were too young, and not understanding why only makes me grateful now. He is all you.......and, I am so grateful that you had him. You are here with me in spirit and seeing him is like seeing you. I'm sure God is very busy please help him watch over all of us.
Love, Mom and always missing you
November 20, 2007
Hi mija, Just a note to let you know that my sister Martha, and Connie really enjoyed seeing Damian this weekend at Zachary's biirthday party. It was really nice. Stacy is a great host, and monir is a very nice person. They all say Dame is looking a whole lot more like you. Javier and your Tio Johnny were making plans to follow through on your and your brothers plans for your 21st birthday. Im sure you would have invited me so I may just tag along with the kids.
Love you Mija, Your memories will live forever
November 16, 2007
Hi baby, I don't know why my messages have not been entered but I do want you to know that your on mind everyday, almost every minute. The holidays are closing in and I just cant understand........Your brother tries and tries to figure out what happened and can only remember your last stop. Please give me the strenght that I so muuuch need. Damian remembers (mommy and daddy), and holds onto to me as if he were afraid to loose me too. At least thats one explanation a Dr. gave to me as to why he is always wanting me to be with him, and other little things that he does.
Love Mom
November 14, 2007
Mija, I guess my thoughts are to sad that they have not made it to your guest book. The holidays will never be the same without you. Just thinking brings tears. I too can not understand, and I know I never will. My little family (meaning you, your sister Erica, Brianna, and brother Javi) is divided like never before. No matter who was around or not, yall were all I needed. It hurts soo much. If you were only here........
*ERICA J. RENDON*
November 13, 2007
Sister ! Why! I don't get it why did you have to leave. There are so many reasons i can think of why you should still be here . Thanksgiving is comeing up and all i can think about is last year. Most of the pics people have of ya'll were from last Thanksgiving . Dezi's thankful for God because he's takeing care of you. Man girl we miss you like crazy . Everyday life is difficult. Man everytime i see Dame i just want to cry !
I wish i would know exactlly what happened !? it makes no sence !/ i DONT UNDERSTAND !
Well until the day i meet up with you i'll be missing you and keeping you i my heart!!
I LOVE YOU ! I WISH YOU WERE HERE!
XXXXXXOOOOOOOOXXXXXXX
October 30, 2007
Hey Sister,
I'm trying so hard to keep it together ,but i find myself more alone even when i'm in a room surrounded by people it still feels empty. We had a Halloween Party Friday i sat at a table all night sad & wondering what you would be doing. There was no you being wild and crazy.It was no fun ,well at least not for me. I tried to have a good time. If I felt this way now i can just imagine Christmas!I'm dreading it so much! I hope it passes quickly.I can't take it. I dream of you showing up @ my apt I wake up and realize it was just a dream i breakdown like if it Was Feb. 26th all over again! Time isn't healing a thing. It doesn't work i put it out of my head but it only works for a while. Before i go to bed I hear sirens in my head i feel as though the room is spinning. It's all so unbearable. I miss you so Much.
It's harder when im around mom & B. So i try not to talk to them so much even though i miss them to It makes it harder. Im trying to be stonge for the kids , but it's so painful!
Joel gets mad @ me cuz i don't express myself . I just want the pain to go away!!!!
TTYL Erica Jeanette XXOOXXX
Love Mom
October 30, 2007
Hey sweetie, I guess my last entry didn't make it. Your not here and its really upsetting. Remembering last Holloween when I bought you and your sister your costumes. Remembering how you didn't want to go with them anymore because they didn't want Mark and me to go. How funny, but then I knew and realized how close we were. How I got after Mark and made him tell yall that we were only joking about wanting to go.........just so you would still go with your sister and her ___..... You really looked so cute and now I see the pants and hold them close, and just can't understand why??????????? I miss u so much that I can't even think of celebrating and people that are, I just cant understand..... I guess life must go on and its easier for others. Happy Holloween.......... Try not to scare too many!!!
Amanda Garza
October 28, 2007
Hey Jessica, I just wanted to tell you that I miss you SOOOOO very much. I still think about you alot. When I realized that Halloween was coming, the first thing that popped in my head was last year when we went to the haunted houses. It was fun, but because you were there. Sometimes I get frustrated cause I just wanna hug you and talk to you but I can't and it just sucks. I often wonder where you're at and what you're doing? Man i miss you soooooo much. I have the picture of you, chevito, and dame in my car. I look at it all the time. I LOVE YOU AND I MISS YOU ALOT COUSIN!!!
Erica Jeanette
October 17, 2007
Sister I Miss U so Freakin' Much !!
This Morning when i got to work i thought i saw u sitting @ my desk. But no it was nobody. I still feel like it shouldn't have happened.
As we all try to continue in our lives i can't help ,but to think of how u would be right now. We'd be so excited that the holidays are coming up , but instead i'm dreading them. How can i make the kids believe me when i say it's going to be okay , when there are always tears in my eyes.
I can't help this feeling of emptiness! I saw dame a couple weeks ago he looked happy to se me ,Yeah he still calls Me Ta .
The kids still cry sometimes like if we do something where u would be included they think of you and say ur name . Phat always buys Dame a bag of chips or whatever she is getting herself she misses him too , We don't see him as often as we did.
WE MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU!
XXXXXXXOOOOOOOXXXXXXXXXX
Tweety, I misss you, Love Mom
October 4, 2007
Hi baby, The holidays are getting closer and its not right. You not being here still hurts me so much and my guess it will always hurt. The saying people refer to "time heals all wounds" ......... I dont think time will ever heal this one. Your not here, how can it heal? God is so lucky to have you because I'm sure your so helpful to him. Just your smile alone must lite up the heavens. I know mom is having a hard time keeping up with you. Dad was a jokester and I'm sure you and him together must be too much. Your tio was bad and I'm sure your letting him know that you rule. Jessie, I miss you so much, but the conversations we've had keep me going.
Love MOM
September 25, 2007
tomorrow will be 7 months. Everyday still feels like February 26, 2007. I'll probabley be gone for the holidays. I don't think I could bare facing them without you.
I don't think I could relate to people still celebrating without you here. Dame has started to miss yall more and more. He sees you and pinky's picture and says"Mommy, and Daddy" are in heaven. He loves choo choo trains. Thomas the train it will be for a while. He is so full of spirit just like you were. He is daring just like you. I know you will always be in his heart in mine and everyone elses that loves you still. Jessica, Damian is all you. Every single thing he does and says reminds me soo much of you. I ask God for strenght...........
Today he didn't want to stay at daycare. Yesterday he didn't stay at daycare cause he wanted to stay with mamaw. Today it was hard leaving him cause he wanted to go with me. He's so lovable and gives me lots of love.
September 24, 2007
Hey sister , Its me you already Know! Man Dezis 8 . I started crying because i know u will not get to same that age. I'm so sorry you left him. I wish you could come back. Its going on 7 months and i still think of you constantly. Phat always brings u up in conversation shes a real tear dropper. Man u would love dezis haircut she straightens her hair every morning .I wonder where she got it from, not from me thats for sure. They all remind me of you in some way. Looking at you car everyday is so sad. It's unbareable. I wish i didn't have to see it. I have the pic of us at Kemah Im happy we went.Life is so different w/o u here.
Sister i miss you !!!
I think we're gonna move away soon.
I can't stand to be here .
Joels gonna see if they can transfer him , then we're out for sure. If not we're still leaving,but it's gonna take longer..
See ya Someday.XXooXX!!
Erica Jeanette
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO Love Mom
September 18, 2007
Hi sweetie, my little tweety. I miss you everyday, all the time, every second of every day. Damian is speaking clearer and he is surrounded by many that love him. In memory of you I help people that I know you were close to and know that you would help if you were here. Amanda misses you alot. Luis is back and wants to visit you.
Love, Mom
September 14, 2007
Your thought of everyday, all the time. I remember many of our conversations and can imagine what you'd say with all thats going on. All I can say is that you were so right and knew everyone for who they were. Boy, would they really have wanted to get to know you, and your thoughts. But like you would always say, "Family is Family". You did know the true meaning of the word. Another weekend.........
Love You, MOM
September 11, 2007
Baby, I know you know whats in my heart. I know you know how much we miss you, and I know you know that time doesn't heal all wounds. Day by day Jessie and still..........your not here. Brianna seems to think your her. She's liking things you did....Your precious son has begun to ask and wonder about you and pinky. He's adjusting well. We give him all the love he needs and he does the same. He is so adorable. He is Dame and yet he's you. I hug dame, and as I do I feel you...............It's so hard. I miss you so much. Strenght now is my biggest request. Strenght and Peace
Erica Jeanette
August 20, 2007
Hey sister , I miss you so much! I love you more than words can say i miss you so much i can hardly bare this hand life has delt me . I'm not a strong person. When wela died my life fell apart . I was finally ok with it and you passed away . I don't trust to many people or let any one in . So still it's me all alone . No One understands . I've lost my friend , my sister the one person i could talk to . Man we are so diffrent yet we seemed to understand eacheother ,even when other people didn't get us :we did.
The good ,bad we exceppted it all. I love you. Take Care of us!! Luv Ya Lots. Gotta Go For The Kids .So talk to you laterz.XXXXXXXXXXXOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Erica Jeanette
August 18, 2007
Hi sister , I just wanted you to know that today is Phat's Birthday and we are going to Chuck E. Cheese I remember you would take Dame all the time. I couldn't bring him because he's in San Antonio with mom. Even this makes me think of you I miss you so much! I'm trying not to be so sad ; it works for like a minute ,but i notice you well someone similar to you in a croud and move towards them and it's not you i can't stop hopeing it wasn't you and we buried jane doe. I'm to hopeful we saw your tattoo it was you i tell myself over and over , but i still hold on to the memories of you when i feel alone. They bring me up for a while. Memories as precious as they are bring me so much saddness . I love you sister Love Your Big Sister Always & Forever XXXoooXXX
Jessie I miss You, Love MOM
August 10, 2007
As if a day goes by that your not thought of, or missed so very much. Last night Javi and us met with William, and Maria. All I did was think of you and Pinky. How yall would of been there with us, and the fun yall would have had. Remembering the last time yall had gone with us to their house. Just remembering the many times we would call yall, or yall would call us for birthday get togethers, or just get togethers. The jokes, the silly things yall would do, but mainly the closeness we shared. All the moments we enjoyed together. I feel your presence all the time. I just wish I could hug you.............One MORE Day, or in ETERNITY.
Love Mom
August 8, 2007
Monday (8/6)I was just so mad at everything. I was so mad at myself for not going out with yall that Saturday. I know we spoike several times during the night and you were having so much fun, but if only I would have gone with yall. My birthday just wasn't the same without you.............It was not a happy one. The worst of my life, and all I did was remember my last birthday with you and Pinky. It was so beautiful and I will cherish it for ever. Cindy, Rudy, little Rudy and the girls came over that afternoon. They brought me a cake and a gift. They came for your sister to take her to the mall to buy her her gift. There is nothing in this world I have wanted more than to have you back. I know if you were here we'd be closer than ever. I can only imagine, and look forward to being with you.......
Erica Jeanette
August 6, 2007
This weekend was so hard We didn't get to go to seaworld like we planned. But it's ok. i dont think it would of been the same if we had gone if you weren't there. This year is gonna be so hard. It's been six months and it feels like just yesterday. I have 2 images imprinted in my head of that day when you came to help with the car I see you as you sat in the back seat waving good bye you looked so sad as if you knew i wasn't gong to see you again. The worst image is when they had you on that machine it was so horrible. I can't sleep at night i sleep the max of 4 hours i stay up praying you'd come back i know it impossible ,but i miss you so much. I can't help it.:( Love you sister
Erica Jeanette
August 3, 2007
I miss you sister. I write to u often but my comment are not submitted maybe because my feeling are to cold. I miss you so much decsribing how i feel i painful so i keep a tablet of how i feel i miss you so much because you aren't only my sister your my friend too. I think your around me sometimes. Did you scatter my cloths? Probably you know i hate to put up cloths. I miss your practicle jokes .I miss picking you up at 2-3 in the morning. I miss cooking for you cuz you didn't want to cook. I haven't been to Taco Bell scince you left . Lunch hour just isn't the same. I ordered tour meal at tepatilan i almost cried like i am now. There really are no nice word to decribe how much i miss you. Im trying to keep this PG . Take Care of us . Phat crys to see you & Pinky. Aaron understands a little bit more and Dezis happy that at least your with wella.
July 18, 2007
Hey sister , Every day that passes and i don't get to say I love you sister is more painful than the previous day. I'm missing you more with every day that passes . Dezi , Aaron & Phat all want to see you they miss you like crazy. They also miss Pinky , they wanno go see him but i dunno where it's at.Well sister i just want you to know that I love you and you are tremendously missed. But my love for you will never end. Real love knows no limits. XXooXX I hope your okay.
Amanda Garza
July 15, 2007
Hey cousin, just wanted to say that I love you and miss you very much. Obviously no one can take your place, no matter what happens. I always think of you and how things would be so much better if you were still here. There are so many times that i want to call you and talk to you about so much and hurts that i can't. I kinda feel better knowing that you're still around spiritually, but I'd still rather have you actually here. I love you, miss you, and theres not a day that goes by that I don't think about you. You truly are a one of a kind and I can't wait to see you again. LOVE YOU SSSSSOOOOOOO MUCH!!!
July 13, 2007
Another weekend without you. No phone call inviting us out to eat or getting the family together. No phone call Sunday morning. Just another weekend. Another weekend without you...........
Love Mom, Huggs & Kisses
July 13, 2007
Me again, just to say I Love You and I miss you so much. I wish last year would have never ended. I've learned so much..........and now I live one day at a time. He makes and decides whats next in my life. I know I'll see you one day, but only he knows when.
LOVE MOM
July 3, 2007
Its me again Jessie, Even though the other day I felt some peace its still hard to face the holidays without you. It just keeps on getting harder. I'm remembering last year at the house. The fun we all had. How much you enjoyed it and how much you looked forward to it this year. Things are just not the same without you. I know you know that I love you and miss you a whole lot. Its just not right and I just can't seem to see the light. I know what you told me but its just too hard. I try but I just cant stop. I Love You So Much.......... Its you that should be here.
Love Mom
July 1, 2007
Hi mija, I'm here at Williams and Marias house thinking of you. Our visit with you was a beautiful experience. The most beutiful and the best money ever spent. David, mandy, Brianna, Mark and myself were really overwhelmed. I knew you would be there cause you told me you would. I felt you and we all knew it was you. Marks grandma also came through. Your abuela also came through and yawl confirmed in a way that was so believable. I now believe more than ever on the other side.I can't wait until we reunite. Thankyou baby for your confirmation. Thankyou for discussing what caused the accident and clearing up what I wanted to know. I needed to hear what had occured. Thank you for confirming what we already had discussed. You didn't have to apologize, I already knew that you loved me. God I miss you so much. Everyting you expressed today.......WOW. All I can say is thank you. I Love You and I'm glad its you that I hear. I'm glad you confirmed its you that I feel and see. I will keep in mind everything you said today.
I love and miss you and I was so happy to hear from you today. I will eventually let everyone that you wanted me to give a message to know your message. Until next time baby.
June 27, 2007
Hi mija, its me mom. Just dropping in a few lines of gratitude for the ones that remember and miss you. Know that no one can step in your shoes, as you (true you) or with your son for there is only one you. He is so beautiful, he is you. When he hugs me and tells me he loves me I see you, and feel you. Thank you so much for having him. He will always know what a wonderful mom he had.............your memory, and the person he will always call mom is YOU. For you are mom and only you. Grandmas, cousins,second cousins, uncles, aunts, will always just be that no matter what. Know that there are so many people that love you and and miss you. That too makes me happy, and proves what a wonderful person you are. I don't ask God anymore and only accept what he gives me, but I know and hope that he gives everyone the peace that they need so that you can rest in peace.
I love you and until we reunite
Roxanna Sosa
June 24, 2007
Hey Girl I remember when I first meet you and how crazy we both were and the crazy stuff we did and how we stuck by eachothers side at school we were like top dogs. Let me make you laugh real quick NO ONE COULD HOLD US DOWN! (maybe your the only one that feels me on that is you). I still can't believe your not here with us anymore, the last time I saw you was at my moms house and all I can remember is how happy your were with your son, we had both grown up and became moms. I'm sorry girl that your not able to be with your son but I know he's being well taking care of. I'ts crazy because now that I'm a single parent trying to make it without Jorge, life with him just did not work now I need a friend just like you who always understood me and we could talk about anything. And I'm sure if you could holla back you sure would. I know that you would help me remember the person I once was, And how everything may turn out for the best. I'm sure that is what your telling me right now and I sure you'll be proud of what I trying to make of this life.
MUCH LOVE,
~ROXXY~
Erica Rendon
June 22, 2007
It's me once again,
Sister I can't believe I'm never gonna see you again I still can't except your gone. I love you so much I don't want to believe your never comeing back.
I still try to call you .
I still Cry & Laugh because of you . I'll start crying cause your not here , then i laugh because i remember all th dumb stuff you did growing up. Like the time you stole my car when you were 14 , oh yeah Dames gonna know about it. LOL so i can hear you .
I'm overwhelmed and I don't have any one to turn to . I'm so alone in this cold world . Me & Claudia have been talking a lot lately. It's helping me deal with the pain of losing you . She's cool we should of hung out more when you wre still here. You wouldn't believe the funny stuff we do . But no matter what we do we always think of you .
Erica Rendon
June 19, 2007
Hey Sister , I just wanted to let you know that not a moment passes that I don't say if Jessica were here she would of____________.
No matter the situation I think of how you could of made it funnier or more outrages . We've been getting into crazy stuff lately & all i could think about is YOU .
I miss you more than I ever thought possible . Like I tell everyone I've lost something that could never be replaced , My Sister. Nothing will ever fill the void in my life . Theres an emptiness that will never be filled , A Pain so excrusiating it will always linger beside me .
Sister I just want to let you know that you are missed by everyone that knew you and people that didn't get a chance to meet you regret never taking the time to get to know you . Our stories of you and you wild encounters are being told to everyone , anyone that will listen.
I LOVE YOU!! I MISS YOU!!
Your BIG SISTER XXOOXX
CLAUDIA TAYLOR
June 6, 2007
HEY JESSICA I WAKE UP TODAY THINGING OF YOU. I JUST WANTED TO SAY LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU SEE YOU LATER. CLAUDIA
Amanda Garza
June 5, 2007
Hey dummyhead,just wanted to stop bye and say that I love you beyond what words can say and I miss you even more. I hate that you're not here. Its hard without you. I wish you could back. Just remember that you're always in my mind and that I love you ssssooooooo much.
CLAUDIA TAYLOR
June 5, 2007
HEY. JESSICA THIS IS HARD. I WISH I COULD JUST TELL YOU IN PERSON HOW MUCH JAMES AND I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU. YOU ALWAYS MADE ME LAUGH AND STILL DO MEMORIES OF YOU WILL ALWAYS LIVE IN US. FAMILY GATHERING AND HOLIDAYS ARE NOT THE SAME WITH OUT YOU. LOVE OUR LAST MEMORY TOGETHER ON FEB 10 2007 AT OUR FAMILY GATHERING. WE LAUGHED WE HUGE AND PARTY HARD THAT DAY. THOSE WHO WERE THERE IAM SURE THEY KNOW WHAT IAM TALKING ABOUT, BUT IF I ONLY KNEW THAT WAS OUR LAST DAY. I WOULD HAVE NOT LET GO OF YOU. I LIKE TO THINK IAM VERY LUCKY TO HAVE HAD THE CHANCE TO KNOW AND LOVE YOU THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW YOU MISSED OUT. IAM GLAD I WAS NOT ONE OF THEM. LOVE YOU ALWAYS CLAUDIA AND JAMES.
June 5, 2007
Hi sister < I miss you more everyday . Aaron told me he misses you too. Dezi talks about you frequently . Phat sees you . I hope you are at peace . I'm trying not to go all phsyco . But the pain gets more intense every minute. I haven't gon to the cementary in about 3 weeks it's not that I don't love you or miss you it's just I cant ,well phisically I can , but I just breakdown . It's so hard , it hurts . It feels like an 18 wheeler running over my heart then reversing and hitting it again. I MiSs YoU ! What More can i say. You should be HeRe. This was a tragic mistake! I wish i could of done something , anything that would of kept you here with us.
Man , sister. There's no closure ;I dont understand what happened , I can't believe it was simply an accident . How ? I've sat at the sight for hours and it doesn't make sence . Why in such a painful way . Why did you suffer so much . How? WHy? It wasn't supposed to happen . Jess I Love You. I always will. Here , there you are my sister & I'll love you forever.
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