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Barbara Doe Obituary
Born June 14, 1933, in Springfield, Mass., she was the eldest daughter of the late Ralph McCray and Madeline Watson. She grew up in East Windsor and lived there her whole life. She graduated from Ellsworth High School and then worked at Connecticut Mutual. She then became a devoted wife, mother, and homemaker. Barbara enjoyed watching UConn basketball, playing bingo, sewing, braiding rugs, quilting and gardening. She was a kind, caring, and loving mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, sister, and friend who will be greatly missed by all who knew her.
Barbara is survived by, her loving husband, Eugene, of 57 years; her two daughters, Roxanne Beebe and her husband, Glenn, of Windsor Locks and Valerie Patrina and her husband, Jim, of Simsbury; six grandchildren, Melanie, Joshua, and Aaron Beebe and Nick, Evan, and Julianne Patrina; a great grandson, Zaidyn Lefebvre; and two sisters, Bonnie Rice of Ashford and Sharon Stanley of Sandwich Mass.; along with many nieces and nephews and cousins.
Family will receive relatives and friends TODAY, Sept. 30, from 5 to 7 p.m. at the Bassinger & Dowd Funeral Home, 37 Gardner St., East Windsor.
A memorial service will be held Saturday, Oct. 1, at 11 a.m. at the funeral home. Burial will be at the convenience of the family.
In lieu of flowers, donations in Barbara's name may be made to either American Cancer Society Ovarian Cancer Research, 825 Brook S., 191 Tech Center, Rocky Hill, CT 06067; or American Heart Association, P.O. Box 417005, Boston MA 02241-7005.
For online condolences and directions, visit
www.bassingerdowdfh.com
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Memories and Condolences
for Barbara Doe
November 7, 2011
Dear Doe family,
I was comforted by Valerie's beautiful eulogy to her mother. My memories of Mrs. Doe mirrored Valerie's words, that her home was so inviting, you never wanted to leave. Thank you Mrs. Doe for the memories that lasted over 40 years.
Diane (Guckin) D'amato
October 3, 2011
Eulogy by Val Patrina
My family and I would like to welcome you and to thank you all for coming to share with us in this celebration of life for my mother Barbara Doe. We appreciate your support as we go through this difficult time. Mom always loved a party and I know she is here with us today.
As I gathered my thoughts and prepared to write this, I had the opportunity to find out many things about my mother that I never knew and learned what a blessing she was to have as a mother. As an infant she had bronchitis and pneumonia at the age of 8 months and had her tonsils out at age 6. In high school she got straight A’s in reading and writing but didn’t do so well in Algebra. She loved to bowl and was in a few leagues during this time. She bowled several games over 200 in her career. Not an easy feat. She was also a mean horse shoe player too; used to beat the men all the time. Go Mom.
When she talked about growing up she told us about the depression, and hard times. She talked about the war planes flying low over the house on Garden Street, and how food was rationed. I think through all this she learned to be thrifty, and thankful for all that she had. She grew up the eldest daughter of Ralph and Madeleine McCray and had 2 sisters Bonnie and Sharon. She always told the story of being in a store and she was holding Sharon when someone asked her how old her baby was. She proudly told her she was her sister. There was a sixteen year difference between her and Sharon and eight years between Bonnie. She felt a special bond with both of her sisters that lasted a lifetime.
After high school she worked at Ct Mutual and met many lifelong friends there. She then married Dad in 1954 and had 57 years of wedded bliss. They had their share of disagreements as we all do but always seemed to work it out in the end.
She had Rox and me 19 months apart so she became a busy mother. I asked her once if she ever thought about more kids and she said that it had to be an even number 2 or 4 so no middle child and they decided 2 would be good. Of course Rox and I each have 3 children. But Mom didn’t care; she was proud of and loved all her grandchildren for who they were and held her great grandson Zaidyn in a special place in her heart too. She also found her two son in laws Glenn and Jim to her liking and was always happy to see them and joke with them about life’s trials and tribulations.
During our child hood Mom put all her efforts into being a mother and wife. She spent many hours sewing our clothes for school and what a seamstress she was. She made hundreds of outfits for us as well as for herself. Nothing was too hard for her to do. I remember in high school I decided I didn’t want to wear a “homemade outfit” so Mom let me go out and buy my own. When I came home that day distraught that someone else had the same outfit on, I knew she had let me find out on my own how special it was to be able to wear unique one of a kind clothing made by her. And from that day on I never cared about buying any store bought clothes again. Not only was she a seamstress but she braided beautiful rugs that adorn her home today, and quilted beautiful quilts over the years. We never knew how many until we found 26 quilts in the house she made and that does not include the ones she made for each of us, and her grandchildren. They are treasures to behold and ones we will cherish as many hours of time, effort and love went into each and every one of them.
Mom also made sure that her house was a home. Anyone that has been to her house knows how she would make you feel welcomed and always offered you a bite to eat no matter what and this was her way of her showing her kindness and generosity. And when I say a bite to eat you needed to be prepared as that could mean a whole meal.
She loved a party; we had many celebrations of holidays and birthdays with family and friends; any reason we could find to get together and share food, laughter and fun. We always worried about not having enough food but never did we run out; always leftovers to take home. She was an excellent cook but often told us she hated to cook. We just talked with her recently about the salmon crochettes she used to make; not one of our favorite meals. It never showed that she didn’t like to cook as her meals which often were centered on dad’s work schedule. He rotated shifts weekly so whatever the shift of the week was, was when we had the big meal, sitting at the table together always, and then ended each day with Dad and Rox fighting over the leftovers. I myself never cared as I would be required to finish all my meat before having any extras which always seemed a problem so often I would be seen carrying a bag of meat with me after the meal.
When growing up we spent our summers in New Hampshire camping where we have fond memories of people we met and fun we had. Mom made sure that Dad, Rox and I had no worries; she did it all; the cleaning, cooking, laundry, and finances. We once asked her how did we learn to cook and do the cleaning and she told us that she put us in 4H which helped us to learn and I am sure that watching Mom manage and multitask day after day we learned from her. She was very good at it; organized, neat, hardworking, and creative. I know today that at times I drive my family crazy as I definitely inherited the traits that my mother had, but am thankful for it as I too can multitask as she did.
As we grew older and became more independent, Mom turned to other interests. Gardening, bingo, casino trips, and spending time with Dad in Burlington became her past times. She never could be sitting doing nothing for long. She loved Burlington and recently when showed pictures said how nice a place it is with many good memories of times there. Dad and Mom then started to travel over a span of 19 years with their first trip in August of 1977 with 26 trips in between until about September of 1996. They took 5 cruises and saw the country usually with bus trips or escorted tours. Some of their favorite trips were with good friends the Atwoods who we all met camping. They always came back with interesting stories of the places and always of the people they met who some they still kept in contact with. Dad hitting the lotto in 1983 surely helped with enjoying the travel they were able to do. They had a wonderful life together sharing many happy memories.
Two years ago this Sept is when Mom first found out about the drop in her blood counts, and then the cancer. I told her we would take each day at a time, and deal with each hurdle as we went along. Mom agreed this would be a good idea but we never knew how many hurdles she would need to jump. Mom showed us how strong and courageous she was through it all and that she had a wonderful sense of humor. Every one of the medical staff found her enjoyable and funny and would tell me stories of the day’s events and a good laugh they had together. I was with her at the hospital during one of her stays and she would be joking with the staff; on one occasion she patted a transportation aides backside as it was behind a curtain and close to her bed. It made him laugh and Mom just told him to keep up the good work. Just the day before she left us, Kathy her nurse joked with her about not biting her in the stomach as she rested her head there when getting her dressing changed and she told me Mom got into a laughing spell and they laughed together about it as she told Mom she did good. Mom always tried to be upbeat and answer that she was fine even though she was struggling. The fact that she was getting more forgetful actually helped as she couldn’t remember all that she had been through which was so much. She let me be her advocate which I welcomed, to help her maneuver through the crazy medical issues and numerous medical appointments and hospitalizations she needed though the last 2 years. Mom knew her body was failing her and not able to keep going but she continued to forge ahead and meet each new challenge with great courage and strength. I too learned so much from her and used my inner strengths to help her fight for as long as she could because I knew that is what she wanted. I only hope that I too have the courage and strength that she had to move forward and appreciate what life has to offer as she did during her life.
I will miss the times we spent together whether it was our Day off luncheons, yearly Christmas shopping trips, phone calls talking about the day, her quiet reassurance, or her ability to listen when she needed to. We shared the good and bad times and I knew she would always be there to give support and guidance in whatever way she could.
We love you Mom and miss you. You always joked with us about going first as that would mean we would have to help Dad. Don’t worry we will take good care of Dad as you always did. We know that you are in a better place and that we will always carry you in our hearts. Rest in peace Mom. Rest in peace.
Anna and Ron Freeman
October 3, 2011
Bonnie and Gene and the rest of the family: Our deepest sympathy for your great loss. Barb will missed. You are in our prayers.
October 1, 2011
This candle is for Barabara's family.
She will be forever in your hearts and minds. You have honored her well and she is proud of you.
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Ben and Mary Biron
October 1, 2011
To "Gene" - We are so saddened to learn of Barbara's death - We have many great memories of the wonderful fun times we spent together going to Bingo, our visits to your place in Burlington,and East Windsor, the times we dined out together, fun at the casinos in Atlantic City and here in CT. We've thought of you often these past few years and have certainly missed you. Barbara was a wonderful person and we know she will be missed by all who knew her. Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this very sad time.
Ben and Mary Biron
Mitch Blank
October 1, 2011
To Barbara's Family
Amy and I, Mom and Shawna send our deepest condolences to the Family at this time of your loss. Bonnie, we grieve with you at this time and will keep you in our prayers. Know will be there for you for anything.
Mitch, Amy, Shawna and Mom
Heidi Rucki
October 1, 2011
It saddens me to realize that Barb, your beloved Mom, Wife, Grandmother, Sister has lost her valiant battle to stay with you. She lived a true and good life, and fought against the odds to stay with you this long. She's been a beautiful person throughout her lifetime from everything I know about her and Bonnie shared with me. Barb was a most loving wife and absolitely adored you - I only wish I had known her better.
I am so very sorry for your loss. You will cherish her love and memories forever.
Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs to Everyone in sympathy and love.
American Heart Association
October 1, 2011
May your memories of the wonderful times you shared with your loved one comfort you and your family, today and always.
Mary A. Rice
September 30, 2011
With love and pride is the way Barbara always spoke of her family. I'm hoping that you will take comfort in the way she thought of all of you. She will be missed.
September 30, 2011
may the children and grandchildren know she will watch out for them
September 30, 2011
To Barbara's family.
Don and Rosemary Rice
September 30, 2011
We will always have fond memories of Barbara. She was such an enjoyable person to be around.
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