Thomas Merten Cooper

1939 - 2023

Thomas Merten Cooper

January 7, 1939 - October 21, 2023

Lexington, Kentucky - Tom loved a good obituary. Just like he loved a good story. And man, oh man, was he a good storyteller. An epic storyteller. And no matter if you'd heard that story for the first time or the fifth time, once he got rolling, you were in for it again. So, bear with us as we spin up a few favorites in his honor. There were the childhood stories of growing up in Elizabethtown with Milly, Billy, brothers Bill and John, and baby sister Gail, along with a whole host of friends, cousins, bullies, pretty girls, teachers, nuns, rival baseball and basketball teams, and pets. For instance, the miraculous Jet, their beloved mutt who was run over while napping in the shadow of the grocery truck one hot summer day. Billy drove him to the vet to be put down. There was much mourning. But lo and behold, several weeks later, Jet reappeared-minus a hind leg-because the vet couldn't bear to put down a dog with such exceptional fight and spirit. Maybe that's when Tom figured out that fight and spirit could get you a long way in life, or perhaps that's when Tom began to believe in miracles. One of his favorite quotes was Einstein's, "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

There were stories about his three and a half years as a Jesuit novitiate, beginning with his parents driving him up to Milford, OH on Labor Day in 1956. He lay in the backseat with his head in his sister's lap, miserably hungover because he'd been out whooping it up with cousin Billy Mac and a couple of pretty girls the night before. Or a month later, when he was supposed to be practicing silent meditation in his room, but could faintly hear Game 5 of the 1956 World Series playing on a workman's transistor radio through his open window. Instead of meditating, he listened, transfixed, as Don Larsen pitched a perfect game. During his years at Sacred Heart Novitiate, he met his lifelong friend, Jim Zeller. He and Jim spearheaded an engineering feat that still stands today at the (now called) Milford Spiritual Center. In 1959 a key building on the property, Rock House, was at risk of sliding into the Little Miami River due to sudden and severe erosion along the bluff upon which it was built. The Jesuits couldn't afford the $75-$100K quotes from construction companies to build a retaining wall, so 20-year-old Jim Zeller designed a wall made of donated steel barrels filled with donated concrete. He and Tom, along with dozens of their fellow seminarians, built a retaining wall by stacking the barrels 15' high by 100' wide, binding them together with cable, and backfilling with dirt and vegetation. It took 5 months of the seminarians volunteering time between classes and on Saturdays to build the wall that, to this day, protects the bluff supporting Rock House. Fight, spirit, and a little bit of miracle. Tom still loved to go to Milford and hike down to the river to show it off; for to see it in person was to truly grasp the scale of the thing. He recently said the wall (playfully dubbed the Maginot Line) was one of his proudest achievements.

Tom ultimately withdrew from the priesthood and finished up his undergrad degree at the University of Kentucky. He enlisted in the United States Marine Corps in February 1961, training with the 61st Rifle Company as a Squad Leader, and becoming a commissioned 2nd Lt. upon graduation from UK in 1962. Before graduating, Tom met Mary Carol Coons at a women's intramural UK basketball game, the athletic Tri-Delta star catching his eye as he coached the opposing team. They married in 1963 and set up house on Oahu, Hawaii, Tom's first posting. Kelly was born in September of 64' and 6 months later, Tom shipped out to serve as Platoon Leader in his first tour of the Vietnam War (Co. L, 3d Bn 4th Mar. and 3d Bn 7th Mar.). Casey arrived in January of 68' and Tom received orders to return to Vietnam that November as Company Commander (Co. D, 1st Bn 7th Mar.).

To know Tom was to know the endless treasure trove of stories from those tours, mostly full of gallows humor, because, according to him, anything too heavy in a war story was bad form. The pinnacle of his time in Vietnam was during his 2nd tour, commanding Delta 1/7 in the surprise capture of an enemy basecamp, which was an almost unheard of accomplishment. Following ten days of intense action, the Division Commander, Major General Simpson, shook Tom's hand, looked him in the eye and said, "Captain, you have the fightingest company in the Division." In the course of his military career, Tom was decorated with the Silver Star, the Bronze Star, and the Navy Commendation. His unit awards included the Presidential Unit Citation and Meritorious Unit Citation (3). And although he couldn't pin Simpson's handshake or praise onto his uniform, it carried the most weight.

Serving in the reserves for twenty years, Tom retired from the Marine Corps in 1992 as a Colonel. He attended reunions and kept in close touch with many of his Marine brothers. He went to mass on Memorial Days and spoke aloud the names of the men he'd lost, and he honored them by keeping their memories alive in his stories. In 1971 Tom left active duty and the family moved to Lexington. He attended UK College of Law school on the GI Bill. He graduated in 1974 Order of the Coif. Tom spent his entire legal career at Landrum and Shouse and the firm is family. He made partner in 1979, and mentored several associates who ultimately became his partners and some of his closest friends. Tom was a driven and formidable trial lawyer, working all over the state. He served as managing partner for a few years in the mid-nineties and, much to everyone's surprise, he retired in 1999 at age 60, but continued to go into the office 3 days a week, in a suit and tie, until the COVID shutdown.

Tom was a natural athlete, playing neighborhood sports as a kid, baseball and basketball in highschool, and he discovered the joy of running in college when he won the 5K Turkey Trot two years in a row, the prize being a live turkey! His skill and passion for running served him well in the military and continued throughout his life. He ran and won many local races, ultimately becoming a marathoner-including qualifying for and running Boston-until both hips had to be replaced. Tom was a regular at the High Street YMCA, embedded in the tightly knit community. He played handball twice a week and was bequeathed the coveted Father Handball T-shirt by his fellow players. Having golfed and caddied since he was a kid in E-town, he remained an avid golfer throughout his life, always walking the 18 holes and carrying his bag. He shot his age 5 times at ages 80 and 81, with vision only in his right eye.

Mary Carol and Tom had separated in 1982. But they found their way to a deep and enduring friendship in 2008 when Tom had a major health crisis, losing sight in his left eye, and almost his life. But grit and miracles got him through. They were there for one another, through sickness and health. Mary Carol became terminally ill and died in 2016; Tom was with her and their daughters every step of the way. For her obituary, she expressly wanted Tom to be referred to as her lifelong friend in the list of survivors. He continued contributing to the causes most near and dear to her heart after she was gone.

After his near-death experience in 2008, Tom felt he'd been given a second chance and decided he needed to do better, to be better. He reconnected with his faith. Became softer, kinder, more open, more generous, less judgmental. He mellowed. He found joy and delight in the simplest things. During the last two weeks of his life, his grace shone through. His last words, which were hard to come by at that point, were selfless. They were spoken to Ian, one of his many exceptional ICU nurses on the Baptist Health team, "You're the best." And after his most epic battle yet, full of fight and spirit, Tom let go peacefully with Kelly by his side. And we know there was a miracle waiting for him. Tom's greatest pleasures were a cold beer with a handful of pretzels, racy jokes, big laughs, a homemade meal, chocolate chip cookies, crossword puzzles, a good book, watching sports, talking sports, talking sports statistics, and, did we mention, chocolate chip cookies?

Tom is survived by his daughters Kelly Botkin and Casey Cooper, his sons-in-law Greg Botkin and John Nicholson, grandchildren Evan, Mads, and Thatcher, brother Bill Cooper, sister Gail Sternstein and niece Megan Cooper. He is survived by his loyal friends and colleagues at Landrum and Shouse, his long-time golf buddies, the crew at the High Street YMCA, the Newman Center community, his Merrick Place neighbors, and of course, his Marine Corps brothers. The visitation is Thursday, 10/26 from 5-8pm at Kerr Brothers on Harrodsburg Rd. The funeral service is Friday, 10/27 at 10:30am at the Newman Center. The burial is Friday, 10/27, 1:30pm at Camp Nelson. In lieu of flowers, donations may be sent to The Newman Center, the Milford Spiritual Center, or the High Street YMCA.