Al Weissman

WEISSMAN, Al Rather than have somebody (be it friend or foe) write my obituary and say things about me that aren't necessarily true, I decided to write it myself, and because I am doing the writing, I cannot give details on either the date or cause of my death. I would expect somebody to supply that data (Jan. 16, 2009, from pancreatic cancer). Rather than using euphemisms to describe my current situation, suffice it to say I have died. I'm not taking that "big trip". I have not been "called back" by some "lord". And to the best of my knowledge, I am not embarking upon a "new life". I died - that's it. Obituaries generally mention "survivors". The word "survivor" connotes, to me, something unpleasant. People survive epidemics; they survive fires, earthquakes, and even plane crashes. To say that somebody "survived" me makes me sound like something to avoid. (Maybe the term is applicable?) And about the custom of sending flowers (Forget It!!!), or doing something in memory of me - were I alive, I'd most appreciate something that would benefit animals and/or the environment. But I am not alive - I died - so I can't appreciate anything, unless, of course, there is "appreciation" after death, in which case I'd truly appreciate something beneficial being done for animals and/or the environment. Were I not being cremated, a donation to a religious organization would have me spinning in my grave. If there is such a thing as "coming back", I hope it won't be to West Hollywood - frankly, I'd rather be in Philadelphia. That's it - this is my final farewell. Sing no sad songs for me.