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Elaine Ruth Berman

1936 - 2017

Elaine Ruth Berman obituary, 1936-2017, Los Angeles, CA

BORN

1936

DIED

2017

Elaine Berman Obituary

December 18, 1936 - December 8, 2017 Elaine Ruth Berman passed away peacefully at her home in Santa Monica on December 8, 2017 after a long struggle with cancer. To the end of her days she lived her life with grace and dignity, with care for others, and with love for - and of - her family. Elaine's extraordinary life included her 40-year marriage to Arthur M. Berman, who passed away in 1996; three children, seven grandchildren, and 3 beloved children-in-law. She was a school counselor for 28 years, helping hundreds of students achieve their dreams of preparing for a college education. She loved the arts, particularly music, theater, and literature, and was an avid concert-goer, theatre subscriber, and reader to her last days. She was born Elaine Ruth Kreiner in 1936, the daughter of Anthony James Kreiner and Adeline Helen Kreiner (nee Helwig), in Cleveland Ohio. She was raised in Cleveland and Wickliffe OH, Darien CT, and Los Angeles CA, along with her younger sister Judy and brother David, both now deceased. After graduating from University High School in Los Angeles, she attended Antioch College in Yellow Springs, OH, where she met and married the love of her life, Arthur M. "Art" Berman, in 1956. In 1957 her first son Michael was born. Shortly after daughter Tonia joined them in 1959, the family moved to Southern California. By 1961 they were settled in the Mar Vista neighborhood of Los Angeles. Art begin a journalism career that spanned 35 years at the Los Angeles Times, and Elaine focused on raising her first two children while taking classes to complete her undergraduate degree. In 1967, son Daniel was born, and in 1968 the family moved to 26th Street in Santa Monica, Elaine enrolled at Mount St. Mary's College, where she completed her degree in 1973. She would go on to earn a Master's Degree in Counseling in 1984. Elaine often expressed her appreciation for the opportunity given her by The Mount. In the 70's the family moved to Pacific Palisades, and Elaine began a career as a teacher, which would ultimately lead to her career in counseling. She spent six years as a counselor at the Los Angeles Center for Enriched Studies (LACES), a 6-12 grade magnet school in inner-city Los Angeles, where she was named Counselor of the Year by the Los Angeles Unified School District. In 1991 Elaine was chosen to participate in the Fulbright Exchange program. She spent a year working at the College of Westminster in London, developing a deep love for England. She would return many times to visit the many friends she made there and to enjoy theatre in the West End. Returning to Los Angeles in 1992, she became the College Counselor for LACES. Giving every student the opportunity to prepare for and find a college where they could be successful became an urgent passion for her. Hundreds, perhaps thousands, of students can testify to the endless hours she spent helping students find a path to their dreams. She retired from LACES in 2000 but soon returned to college counseling; in 2002, she became Director of College Counseling at Wildwood School in West Los Angeles. At Wildwood, she was devoted to a new population of students through 2007, when she left the workforce. Elaine had an intense interest in world travel, and visited Europe, China, and Russia in the 1980's and early 90's with her husband Art. She also found the Transylvanian village near Brasov, Romania, from where her grandmother Sarah Maurer had emigrated in 1905, and was able to visit and meet many cousins. Elaine loved music and was dedicated to helping as many children as possible experience and learn to become musicians. She was active in the Committee Of Professional Women of the Los Angeles Philharmonic Orchestra, including serving as an officer several times. At age 79 she personally coordinated a gift drive for underserved students, arranging for several hundred presents to be purchased, wrapped, and distributed. Elaine was an accomplished writer and poet; although rarely published, she leaves dozens of well-written short stories and poems. She enjoyed working with students to improve their writing and worked on several projects that celebrated student writing. She joined several writing and reading groups and liked nothing more than learning about and discussing literature. Elaine spent her last 20 years living at Sea Colony II in Santa Monica, where she had a large circle of friends and served as a board member for the housing association. She loved living near the ocean and sharing the beach with friends and family who visited from near and far. Elaine leaves her son (Arthur) Michael Berman and wife Ann Walker of Los Angeles, their son Adam Jacob and daughter Alice Bates; her daughter Tonia Jean Berman and husband Michael Bernstein of San Diego, their daughters Lauren Elizabeth (and husband Jake) and Meghan Nicole; and her son Daniel Adlai Berman and wife Melinda of Pacific Palisades and their sons Timothy Jordan, Christopher Taylor, and Thomas Arthur. The Elaine Berman Scholarship Fund has been endowed at Mount St. Mary's University; those who wish to contribute in her honor may donate by going to www.msmu.edu/donate. On the designation drop down, select "other" and type in Elaine Berman Scholarship Fund. Alternatively, they may call the Institutional Advancement office at 213-477-2769 to donate or to obtain additional information. A Celebration of Life will be scheduled at a later date.

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by Los Angeles Times on Dec. 10, 2017.

Memories and Condolences
for Elaine Berman

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4 Entries

Carole Schindler Grover

December 30, 2017

Elaine was a friend like no other. In 2000 we were
neighbors who greeted each other in the elevator and
at the mailboxes. But in 2005. after El Niño tore a hole
in my roof, it was Elaine, in her intrinsic way, that took
me in with to her lovely, neat condo, with all my boxes
and bags and teaching materials. Elaine and I grew
closer as we shared many dinner and read to each other
our writings. Sharing intimate memoir memories built
a growing bond between us. One New Years Elaine wrote
me a greeting signed : " to a dear friend and sister..."
It is something I keep in my heart and in a frame on
my desk. Although I had four sisters, eleven to nineteen
older than I, Elaine is the sister who has left me with a
gift that will comfort me all my remaining days.
Here is why. As Elaine's final illness stopped our
evening together, I missed my friend fiercely!
In late November and early December I received two
phone calls from Elaine inviting me to come to visit
her at 4PM. I was so happy to see my friend!
The first visit Elaine was sitting in a chair in her living
room. She was in a state of half-sleep half-wake, from
the meds she was given to keep her pain free. Elaine,
, with eyes closing handed me a book of poetry. I began
reading through tears and gulps. At a pause, Elaine,
suddenly awake said, " I want you to hear this from me.
I am fading away)..." and she was asleep in her chair.
I took this scene, Elaine's words of concern to tell
what was coming, and my tears back to my home.
The second invitation to visit my friend came not very
long before Elaine's last day. When I was let in by a
young caregiver in a pink uniform I found Elaine in
her comfortable bed with the lovely handmade quilt
made by all her large, loving, supportive family in her
honor. Elaine was again in that half-sleep state.
I held her hand and wept. Suddenly awake. Elaine said
softly,"Remember when we walked on the beach?"
I replied through my tears, " We loved it!" And for a
moment, we were there with our bare feet on the low
tide tidal plain of the Pacific Ocean that flows outside
our doors. ,Through my storm of tears I had to tell
my friend, "Elaine, you've given me the gift of grief..."
She nodded gently and soon Elaine was peacefully fast asleep.
asleep. Elaine's time to say goodby to all those who loved
and honored her received her gift of grief as a way to
remember extraordinary women who spent
her last days on earth leaving those who loved and honored
her with a gift of grief to remember with love eternal.
Carole Schindler Grover. 12-30-17". 3AM !

Ariane C.

December 14, 2017

She was my school counselor for 7 years (I graduated in 1991). She had an incredible impact on my life and was truly one of the most wonderful people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. The lessons she imparted upon me still guide me through life to this day. My sincerest condolences to her family for this great loss. She will never be forgotten.

G. B.

December 11, 2017

May you celebrate a life well-lived and cherish the many memories created along the way. May you find strength & comfort in God's Loyal Love. Psalms 103:8

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