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Benjamin Joseph "Ben" Messmer

1991 - 2010

Benjamin Joseph "Ben" Messmer

1991 - 2010

Obituary

Guest Book

BORN

1991

DIED

2010

About

Newbury Park High School

Benjamin Messmer Obituary

Visit the Legacy Remembers website to view the full obituary.

Benjamin "Ben" Joseph Messmer, 18, of Newbury Park, died Saturday, June 26, 2010, after collapsing at home.

He was born Aug. 2, 1991 in Woodland Hills, Calif., the son of Charles Joseph and Kathy Lynn (Lazarowitz) Messmer. He attended schools in Santa Clarita Valley and Newbury Park, and was a recent graduate at Newbury Park High School (Class of 2010), where he was the starting goalie for the school hockey team all four years. In addition, he played for many travel hockey teams such as Channel Islands Riptides in Oxnard, and The Wolves, Bears, Express, Mariners, and Team One Hockey. He was active at school, attending important school events.

He enjoyed traveling, spending time with his family, and playing video games. He planned to attend college to pursue a career in music and theater, and to play hockey.

Ben is survived by his parents, Chuck and Kathy Messmer in Newbury Park; his sister, Cassandra, at home; his grandmother, Marie C. (DeArriba) Messmer, in St. Louis; and numerous aunts, uncles, and cousins. He is also survived by many close friends at Newbury Park High School.

He was preceded in death by his grandparents, Thomas L. Messmer, of St. Louis; and Bernie and Lois Jean Lazarowitz, of Mission Hills, Calif.

Services for Ben include visitation from 5 to 8 p.m. on Friday, July 2, 2010 with a Rosary service at 7 p.m. in the Chapel of the Hills, Conejo Mountain Funeral Home. The Celebration of the Mass will be 9 a.m. on Saturday, July 3, 2010 at St. Julie Billiart Catholic Church, Newbury Park. The burial will follow at Conejo Mountain Memorial Park, Camarillo, Calif.

A memorial fund has been set up in Ben Messmer¹s name. Donations can be made at any Wells Fargo Bank, account number 8251432749.

Funeral arrangements are under the care of Conejo Mountain Funeral Home and Memorial Park, 2052 Howard Road, Camarillo, CA 93012, 805-482-1959. Please sign the guest book at obits.VenturaCountyStar.com.

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Recent Activity

December 3, 2014

Someone posted to the memorial.

August 26, 2014

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May 29, 2013

Someone posted to the memorial.

50 Entries

December 3, 2014

Ben,
I know we never met you. I heard alot about you from your mother, father and sister. They have been coming to Connecticut for Thanksgiving Dinner for the past few years. Every year my family feels that you are with us enjoying the holiday. We hear stories and the love that your family has for you. You are always in our prayers and heart!
Uncle Larry, Aunt Jeanne and Cousins Jennifer, Jeff and Craig From Connecticut

August 26, 2014

Everyone is growing and moving on with life. The one thing I sit and think about often is what would you be doing now, this moment. Would you still be pursuing hockey? Gaming?
Then it hits me you would be 23 and then it really hits me, would you be dating? would you be in love? would you have had kids? All the things I get an opportunity to experience, you don't and it doesn't seem fair! It isn't fair. There is so much I would be sharing with you and it eats at me knowing I can't. But, you know what everyone says he is sharing it with you, like they know everything. You know what people act like they know everything about everything and guess what everyone is clueless! People think they know what's best for you, they don't. You live for the moment, it's your moment not theirs. I have a funny feeling on my death bed I will have the regret of not being brave enough to stand up for myself and following my heart. There is a place in my heart where you will always remain.

May 29, 2013

I miss you more and more each day. It's almost impossible for me to talk about you without crying. I fight back tears all the time trying to figure out how and why. All questions I will probably never have answers too. I have to say half the time I feel so lost! I never once thought of a life without you in it and then now here we are and your gone. It hurts more then you know... it's a pain I can't describe but can feel the constant ache. I guess we will all have our moments and tonight is mine. I miss you always #00

Courtni Niss

April 10, 2013

Benjamin,

I miss you more and more everyday! I was sitting with a friend the other day and a song came on that reminded me of you and I started crying... Like crazy lady crying. You would have hated me for it! Hahaha. I still go sit at the cemetery every week and try to bring flowers when I have the extra money. I hope you know I'm there, and know that I haven't forgotten. Your picture and other little things from our times together still hang in my shadow box and your sticker is still on my car. I see your name every single day and when you come up in a conversation, I can still feel you with me. I love you so much and I hope that you're proud of the person I'm becoming and the choices I've been making.

It's comforting to know I have an angel in you up in Heaven.

I love you and I miss you.

Xoxo Court

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Just a picture of us when we were younger

March 15, 2013

It's been awhile since I have posted on here and I miss you so much and you know there is not a day that goes by I don't think about you. Truthfully I don't think there ever will be a day I won't. There are times where I will just sit in my room and think to myself this can't possibly be real and then it hits me it's been almost 3 years. And all I come back to is wow 3 years ...he would be 21... we would have went to Vegas... you could have had a girl friend, you would still be playing hockey (this I know for sure) ... you would be driving a new car what kind I have no clue maybe a mustang or mercedes :-)...would his taste in music have changed?...what would he look like?.... would he have built up those muscles he wanted so badly?... "cassie there is such thing as an 8 pack abs and that's what I am going to have!".... okay Ben lol... would he have been "able to" grow a full goatee like he wanted...Boy the facial hair I still remember being in St.Louis and you sending me a picture of this little dot of hair you were trying to grow right on your chin and you were so darn proud, I still have that picture and it still makes me laugh. I think the reason it wasn't growing fast enough and straight out was because it was curling on you.

Mom and I started talking about you tonight and out of no where Gamestop calls and leaves a voicemail on my phone to pick up "gears of war" next week and I thought that was kinda creepy. By the way you would be so proud I beat the latest Halo game for you (cough easy level :-P)

There is something I realized a couple weeks ago that gave me chills because it didn't hit me until then. A family friend just recently lost their Great Grandma and they went through the process we did with Grandma, the talking to the other side. AND it hit me full force there really is a heaven. I am human of course I questioned it. Why would Grandma Jean be talking only to the dead... why not talk to us? It was always someone that had passed that she was talking to her Mom, her Dad or Bill. THEN I THOUGHT OMGosh it's real! It's real I know where you are! I don't know exactly what you are doing but I know you are safe and I know you are with her. I guess I just had to come to it in my own time and it was the right time that I happened to realize it.

I think about what it's going to be like 10 years from now? Am I still going to be here? Who is going to be here? Life is so unpredictable. Three years is a long time! I have seen so many things that have made me grow and I have learned so much what I would give to have shared it with you. Heck what I would have gave so you could have it instead of me. The new friendships I have made I wouldn't trade for anything. So many of them have helped me grow into a better person and you would have liked all of them.

Our family is doing okay Ben. We spend our Holidays with family and we really have grown closer. I love spending as much time with them as I can and really look forward to the Holidays! Christmas this year was amazing and stayed at Grandma's over two weeks, it was great. Ben New York I know you wanted to go so bad and let me tell you.... you would have loved it... I could actually picture you living there... the parade is one of my favorites and I look forward to "Spongebob", "Charlie Brown" and "Buzz Lightyear" turning that corner because it makes me think of you.

I know you won't read this but I want people to see you were loved and are truly missed. You were one heck of a person with such a great heart. You were always there to listen and to talk of course:-). You came into my room every night before bed as we grew up and we would talk for at least a half hour, if you were out of town playing hockey I got a phone call or a text message telling me how the games were and what happened. And when we got Hazel you would come in talk, play with Hazel and you would say, " I love you Hazel oh ya and you too." You made your rounds every night first with Mom, me next then Dad. I don't know what made you do this every night but I am happy you did, thank you. So tonight before I go to bed I look up and I say,"Good night Ben I love you and miss you and when I see you again you will know because I will be screaming at the top of my lungs and crying with tears of joy because I will be so happy to see you."

For those of you reading this remember what a great kid my brother was and how he was always there for a person in need take that and apply it to your lives that is how he lives on. When you hear a Basshunter song turn it up loud start singing and say ya Ben that's right! When you see a "00" know that's Ben because it's his jersey number. And lastly before you go to bed look up and say "hi"

I know this is a lengthy post but please remember this post couldn't even begin to sum up how great this kid was, night all.

January 31, 2013

2013. its here, and in full swing. Miss you as always and think about you often! Been going to all the kings games and think of you no matter what! I loved you so much and oh i wish i could just take you to a game. or watch you grow up with me! i hope your having fun up there. I am still in shock 2 1/2 years later..and it still hurts. I cant even talk about the story or how it happened..keep your eyes on me and tell grandma how much i miss and love her. You both have helped me this past year and i continue to struggle with both of you gone. life has changed so much..send me a sign ben! I need you!

August 23, 2012

It still hurts way to much... Love you!

June 26, 2012

Miss you every single day... 2 years...

kelli

May 28, 2012

Thinking of you today and every day. I have never cried so hard as I did the other day when someone asked me about my cousins. I was gasping for air just trying to tell the story all over again. I miss you so so so much. I cannot believe it will almost be 2 years. I would do just about anything to have you back, or a least send me a text or something. The iphone 4 came out a few months ago, you would have LOVED it. I even told Michael I bet ben would have wanted one. I miss my brother. Mike just turned 21. Im next and then you! Get ready to do your work as angel, it could get a little crazy!!! My dad still talks about how bad he wanted your 21st birthday to be here so he could show you a good ;) In more ways than one of course haha! We talk about you all the time. I know your up there watching down on me. I love you ben and miss you tons..

love your other sister

April 18, 2012

I think of you all the time. People tell me that I will have a day where I won't even think of you. I hate when people say this will happen to you... when do they honestly know you better then you know yourself. I more then anyone wish you were here with me. I know I can't be greedy but it's just my heart that still hurts. I won't forget you, I promise!

December 4, 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbUxpzAit3E

November 2, 2011

Ben..haha, i remember when i got up super early with you so i could straighten your hair..when i finally finished, we both suddenly realized that I had styled it like a woman..haha...the hair in front..you had bangs..haha. we finally figured it out...not that it really mattered..your curls came back so fast..I think your mom let you come home early that day. Ben, i think of you always..I tell my nieces about my cousin Ben...you are missed..and will never be forgotten...
Love you...from your cousin Mandy.

October 7, 2011

Miss you always!

Court Niss

July 27, 2011

Benjamin!!!
Your birthday is less than a week away and its the big 20!!!! That simply seems crazy to me... kinda like your sister :P (love you cass but hanson?!?! Really?) I miss you every single day. My shadow box is covered with our memories. You would be pretty proud of me. I actually ate fast food the other day and of course dedicated it to you! Going to a ton of hockey games this year, I know you will be there! I love you! Xoxox

Cassandra Messmer

June 25, 2011

Tomorrow morning I will wake up and would have thought about you 365 days...it's been a long time Ben but I miss you more and more everyday. I will never forget you! I love you so much.

Cassie

courtni niss

June 7, 2011

babe this isn't getting any easier and i would do anything just to see you again. poor cass has to put up with me now! hahaha. give us all strength. i love you and miss you, always and forever

Andre Mardian

June 2, 2011

Still doesn't seem like you are gone Ben. I know this has been said a million times, but you really are in a better place man. Love ya.

Cassie

May 4, 2011

Everyday I miss you more and more ... It doesn't get any easier. I want so bad to c u again and just talk and actually cry with you here. I love you Ben always. Your big sister!

Cassie

Courtni Niss

April 14, 2011

Benjamin!
You have no idea how much I miss you. You're all I have been thinking about lately and it is driving me crazy that I can't talk to you. Sitting at the cemetery is peaceful and the two butterflies are always there but I'd much rather have a hug and a long talk. I love you more than anything, always and forever.

Cassandra Messmer

March 12, 2011

Love You Ben!

Arie Baehr

March 1, 2011

Ben, i miss you more than words can describe. You were the closest thing I had to a big brother and i thank you for taking care of me. I miss our hourly conversations in your truck but you most of all. If i could, i would give up everything and anything to bring you back. I love you, and you'll never be forgotten. <3

Amanda Martin

February 28, 2011

Ben- you've been in my family forever- but you were truly in my life for such a brief time before you were taken from us. I treasure those moments- and am so grateful to have my own collection of memories of you. There is not a single day that passes that you do not enter my mind. There is a hole in the world, and in my heart without you here. I remember your laugh very clearly- it's comforting - it brings a smile to my face, and a tear to my eye.
I love you Ben.

Love Always, your cousin Mandy

Mom

February 28, 2011

You were special.

Blanca Sanchez

February 26, 2011

Ben, i still cant believe this. I always want to think that your off to in college or doing hockey tournaments, but then it hits me. me missing you! me wanting to text you to say what's up? I remember when i was stuck at night somewhere by a middle school lost with no ride anywhere and you were hanging out with ur friends even though they didn't want to come get me you did, u dropped what u were doing to come pick me that ment alot!Love always and forever, Blanca

Mom

February 26, 2011

Love you Ben.

Courtni Niss

October 29, 2010

Ben, I miss you so much. I cannot believe that it has been so long since I last saw you. I miss our stupid conversations and jokes. We had some amazing times. I have pictures of you everywhere so I can see your smile... when you actually did smile anyway. hahaha. Thanks to your amazing sister as I'm writing this I get to listen to you sing too<3333 Your voice is so comforting and I miss hearing it on the other end of the phone. Life just is not the same without you. I miss seeing you driving around all the time and having our texting battles about why neither one of us pulled over to say hi. You are amazing and I know you are up there watching over everyone. Thank you for being such a great guy. I love you more than anything. xoxoxo

Kelli Lazarowitz

October 27, 2010

Ben.
I went to the pumpkin patch yesterday and couldnt help but cry as i drove on the 118 freeway. First i passed grandmas and thought i should have stopped for some oranges...as michael and i kept driving we passed the simi mall, and dave famous grill or whatever it is. where i had my last real dinner with you, and i am SOO thankful i did and i got to see you and get a hug even though you were way to cool for me suddenly. im sorry for everything that happened in the past before, you always knew i was here for you and i LOVED making sure you looked good. watching you put your first pair of vans on i knew i was your long lost sister :) i cant help but sit here and cry as i write this and i think about you all the time and how much it hurts to lose someone so close to me. i bought a box of reese pumkins today and i remember fighting with you in the bathroom where the candy drawer used to be. ben you were one of my best friends and i loved meeting your hockey friends and going to your games. it hurts me so deep inside that your not here with us but i know you must be watching me from above because all my test scores are 98% and i dont know how. michael misses you too and he wont admit how hurt he is to lose you as a friend. ime very proud you went to prom and graduated. and im also really jealous your with grandma and my pug friends...so much has changed since you have been gone, and i wish you were here to see it all. thank you for always listenign to me and joking around and just making me laugh, you were the best brother i could have and i would do just about ANYTHING to sit in your room right now with you and just talk and listen to you explain your video game to me, or to play rockband with cassie till 2am. there are so many things i miss and i hurt so bad inside ben, but knowing how close we were makes it all seem ok.

i love you ben.
as my brother.

Andre Mardian

September 27, 2010

You're a stand up guy! (I miss saying that along with all the other sayings we had). Ben shared with me some of the most exciting, funny, stupid and memorable events and stories that I have ever had. I'm seriously going to miss driving around Newbury Park in that Avalanche and always saying how "were gonna get outta this place." You were a great friend Ben and knowing you for barely two years is more than enough for me to never forget you!

Cassandra Messmer

September 8, 2010

There isn't a day that I don't think about you. I will never forget the brother I grew up with and was meant to grow old with. You were a huge part of my life!!! I will never forget you, ever! Most of my memories include you. When I play Jesse McCartney remembering you dancing and knowing all the words only because I played him over and over again, when I pass a hockey rink all the hockey games and practices I drove you too, when I get food from the grocery store and I want to buy you something to eat, shopping in a mall and having an urge to buy you something nice, getting in your car and turning on the radio only to be blasted by your sound system EVERY TIME and busting up laughing, coming home and going to your room and just remembering talking and seeing if you were hungry or playing xbox360, and most importantly have someone there for me no matter what (no judgment) you were my best friend ...You have no idea how much I love and miss you. Everyday there is so much I want to tell you and it hurts so bad but then I just remember your smile or laugh and I can't help but smile and for a brief second the tears are gone. These last few months have not seemed real, and everyday I wake up it hits me every time. I want to tell you your truck is coming along nicely, I know you are looking at it going, "yes just what I wanted." I know you are in a better place and one day we will all be together … I don’t know how long that will be. When I get there I am giving you the biggest hug… I can’t promise I won’t let go... it will be the longest hug I have ever gave you...! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! You ARE one heck of a Brother, I couldn't have asked for a better one... no matter how many times we gave each other buck shots.

YOUR BIG SISTER FOREVER!

Cassie

P.S. Sorry it took so long for me to write something

Cassie Messmer

September 8, 2010

Kathy Messmer

September 5, 2010

I love you and think about you daily
Love, Mom

Kierstyn Robinson

September 2, 2010

Ben i can't really say anything right now because i'm so upset. but you were such an adorable boyfriend and always tried to make me happy even when i couldn't be. i really love you and miss you, i wish you could come back home.

p.s. i'm getting angel wings tattooed on my back and i'm putting your name on my right wing<3

Trevor Williams

August 30, 2010

Oh jeez, where do I start? I have had so many awesome times with Ben playing hockey that I can hardly remember them all!

Heres kind of a funny one!
I remember once we were all driving down to some rink way far away in Chucks avalanche I think? We were in the car for at least 3+ hours and prior we had eaten a whole lot of McDonalds! So anyways we were stuck in bumper to bumper traffic for what seemed like forever because I was getting really car sick, anyways to make a long story short we got off the freeway and I couldn't hold it anymore and threw up for what seemed like a mile out the side of chucks new car haha and it got all over the door and the rims and everything (outside the car at least!) Then we got on the Ice and had a great game, Ben got another shut out of course because he was an awesome goalie! I'll miss you buddy.

-Trevor Williams

Daisy

The Divises

August 30, 2010

Ben, do you remember when Daisy was so small? And do you see her now? Does she lick away your tears like she used to do for Cassie?
The Divises

Angel Tomasetti

August 30, 2010

I remember when we were checking out your truck, telling me how you were going to get neon eveywhere and that me and my cousin would do it for you... then seeing you right after in Pep boys buying the neon haha, I miss you bud I always will

Michele Bries

July 9, 2010

Dear Chuck
So sorry to hear about your loss.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your wife.
May Ben rest in peace in the arms of God

Love always

July 8, 2010

Our prayers and thoughts are with you, we are so sorry for your loss. Ben will always remain in our cherished thoughts of our time in the hockey rink. May God bless you and hold you close.
The Fronterotta Family

The Smyth Family (Raoul, Marci, Paul and Anna)

July 8, 2010

"His bright young life has departed too soon but will shine in our hearts ever after." We have such wonderful memories of the time spent in hockey with your family, and we treasure our memories of Ben. May God hold you in the palm of his hand and comfort you through these dark days.

Erik Allen

July 8, 2010

Dear Messmer Family,

I am also sad to hear about Ben's passing... even though I did not personally know him, we share the commonality of both being NPHS Panthers.

I have created a memorial for Ben that will NEVER expire on the NPHS Alumni website. Fellow Panthers can see his memorial, post kind words and hopefully some photos from Ben's (much too short) life.

If you ever would like to see Ben's memorial page, you can access it directly from:

http://www.nphsalumni.com/content/memory-benjamin-joseph-messmer

I hope this doesn't sound like a pitch, because I truly did not mean it that way. I just wanted to let you know that the memorials on the NPHS Alumni site don't ever expire or cost any money to maintain. I hope that you will be able to check back on occasion and be able to see something new.

Once again, my condolences on your loss.

Erik Allen
NPHS Class of '92
www.nphsalumni.com

Trish Calabrese

July 7, 2010

To the Family of Benjamin Messmer,
I just recently learned of your son's passing and am so very sorry for your loss. May you find comfort during this difficult time and know that healing in all things will come...God bless his memory and God bless your family.

Jennifer Ferrante

July 7, 2010

First I would like to say my best wishes and prayers to the Messmer family. Ben, you were an amazing guy and so many people will miss you. You always showed your emotions and never held back in everything you did. You've touched me with you kindness and sincerity throughout the years I've known you. I love you so much.

Mary Vehrs

July 2, 2010

Dear Messmer Family,
My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. I am so sad to hear about Ben. He was a favorite student of mine. He brought laughter and joy to my class everyday. He had a remarkable empathy for others as well as an extremely kind and generous spirit. My heart goes out to you and yours. Mary Vehrs

The Borncamp Family

July 2, 2010

July 02, 2010
Chuck and Kathy - We are deeply saddened by your loss. We cherish the memories of the times we spent together with Ben and all of you at ice hockey. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

Karen Massey-Wieprecht

July 2, 2010

Chuck and kathy,
I am so sorry for your loss. Your family is in my prayers.

Karen Massey Wieprecht - Lisa's sister

Deanna Phelan

July 1, 2010

Ben you touched so many lives with your kindness, friendship and love. You will forever be loved and truely missed by all of us.

Kathy and Chuck thank you so much for trusting me with the care of Cassie & Ben. I will always cherish those times we shared.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Love to you all!

LUCKY LIPPA

July 1, 2010

CONDOLENCES FROM THE LIPPA FAMILY TO THE MESSMER FAMILY.

John & Nancy Sage

July 1, 2010

Kathy / Chuck, You are in our prayers. We are so sorry for your loss.

Courtni Niss

July 1, 2010

Ben you are absolutely amazing and I still can't believe that this has happened. I had talked to you earlier Friday night so this is just too unreal. You were a beautiful person inside and out and I will miss you more than anything. Your friends could always count on you for a laugh and to brighten their day, just one of the many qualities that will never be forgotten. I will continue to pray for you and your family. I miss you already. I love you so much babe.
Love you Always and Forever,
Court

July 1, 2010

Words cannot express how we feel for you on the loss of Ben! It was such a shock to all of us and it will take time to mend all of our Hearts and accept the fact that he is no longer with us. We all know he is in a better place and I am sure he will be the Star up there and keep his Wonderful Sense of Humor. He was such a Great Kid and he left us with a Lot of Good Memories. Our Prayers and Thoughts will always be with you and your Family. Love to you all!
Carol Wilson, Mom and Family!

Katherine Lazzaretti

July 1, 2010

Your family is in my prayers. I am so very sorry for your loss.

Much love,
Katherine (Lazzaretti)

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Conejo Mountain Funeral Home, Memorial Park & Crematory

2052 Howard Road, Camarillo, CA 93012