Betty Lou Hapeman

On December 17, 2024, Betty Lou Hapeman (nee Bauer) of Riverside, California passed peacefully to eternal life. She was born in Lancaster, New York to Leo Bauer, Sr., and Madelyn Jerge on September 6, 1939, both of whom proceeded her in death along with her brother Leo Bauer, Jr. Betty was the beloved wife of the late Roy Raymond Hapeman, Jr., whom she married at Saint Mary of the Assumption Roman Catholic Church in 1958. She was the loving mother of fourteen children: Cathleen (William Thomas), Eileen Kelly (Dwight), Leo (Joy), Raymond (Sandy), Margaret (Erica Hertzer), Roy (Natlee), Christine Moore (C. Don), Joseph (Sherrie), Annette Wroblos (James), Theresa Chanamé (A. Freddy), Anthony, Louise (David Harding), Paul (Melisssa), and John (Natasha Kalinowski). They blessed her with 39 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, and 5 great-great-grandchildren to love.

Betty and Roy loved a sense of adventure having lived in New York, Florida, California, Pennsylvania, and Ohio. They bought several homes over their lifetime, but all of them required work. They knocked down walls, rebuilt kitchens and bathrooms, moved stairways, built patios, converted garages to bedrooms and family rooms and then built new garages, and built outbuilding structures like massive playgrounds with forts, shops, and gazebos. While Roy carried out most of the construction work, Betty was the general contractor extraordinaire. She filed the permits, met with the inspectors, scheduled deliveries, and managed the staff (their children) to dig footers, install shingles, and as they got older, start the builds.

Although Betty and Roy had their nomadic and adventurous tendencies, they were always devoted to their local Catholic parish and its success. Betty had the voice of an angel and humbly shared her gorgeous mezzo soprano voice with her parish choirs often putting the little ones to bed and then running off to choir rehearsal. She was also an active member of the Altar and Rosary and St. Vincent de Paul Societies. She taught religious education for over 30 years, served as Director of Religious Education at two parishes, and received an award by the local bishop for her dedication to sharing the Word of God. All this, and she still found time to volunteer behind the scenes to support her children's public-school activities and was an on-call pediatric blood donor for several decades.

Throughout her life, Betty was keenly aware that life presented many challenges. She would often tell her children when they were facing difficulties, "Don't just sit there, do something." Roy was the love of her life, but sadly he passed away in early 1993 leaving her with several children still in middle and high school. Realizing her new role was to provide an income for the family, she immediately changed from part time to full time student, finishing her RN degree in December 1994 and a few years later her BSN. She worked for the Santa Barbara County Jail for much of her career until she retired in 2009. She was well regarded by officers and the incarcerated alike for treating her charges firmly but with dignity, kindness, and respect.

Betty remained an adventurous dare-devil well into her retirement. She enjoyed riding her motorcycle, but not on the LA freeways. That was where she drove her '74 deep metallic blue Sting Ray which was equipped with a roll bar, 5-point safety harness, and other enhancements for racing. She once broke down on the Pasadena Highway, and when the police officer called in for her to be towed, he announced on the radio that he found the Little Old Lady from Pasadena. Betty had a custom-made racing fire suit and helmet and even entered with her corvette in races for amateurs in Las Vegas. But alas, she burned out her brakes and her fledgling racing career ended.

In the 1990's, Betty joined the Secular Order of Discalced Carmelites and remained an active affiliate member for the rest of her life. She found kinship with the Carmelites who shared her passion for Jesus and His works, while spreading this devotion through faith, hope, and charity to live in the presence and the mystery of the living God. Driven by the tenants of this community, Betty devoted the rest of her life to quietly following the corporal and spiritual works of mercy.

Two Memorial Masses will be celebrated for Betty. The first will be at Saint Catherine of Alexandria Catholic Church on February 13, 2025, at 10 AM in Riverside, California. The second Mass will be held at Saint Mary of the Assumption Roman Catholic Church on the 92nd anniversary of Roy's birthday, April 29, 2025, at 9:30 AM in Lancaster, New York. Her ashes will be interred next to Roy's immediately thereafter in Saint Mary of the Assumption Cemetery.

Betty has requested a simple funeral with no flowers. Instead, follow Betty's lead and do something nice for someone in need.