Add a Memory
Send Flowers
Make a Donation
Brenda Pates Obituary
Born: April 9, 1940
Died: July 7, 2024
It is with deep sadness that we announce the passing of Brenda Marie Pates on Sunday, July 7, 2024. She was a beloved mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, sister, friend, educator, volunteer, and servant of God. Proud daughter of Italian immigrant Pietro Bertorelli and Claire Mainini, Brenda Bertorelli was born and raised in Milford, Massachusetts, where she excelled in academics. She earned her Bachelor's degree from Colby College in Waterville, Maine, where she met her husband Peter Pates. She later earned her Masters of Arts in the Education of the Deaf & Hard of Hearing from Columbia University in New York. Inspired by a deaf cousin, Brenda dedicated her life to the deaf and hard-of-hearing community. From the New York School for the Deaf to 25 years as an educator and administrator for Waukegan Public School District, Brenda's passion was education and mentoring young teachers. Brenda raised her family in Waukegan and remained committed to the community both with her friends and through service. She was dedicated to feeding and clothing the homeless through ministries such as Hands of the Lamb and Love Inc. Brenda's faith in Christ and her calling for ministry and charity work extended beyond Lake and Kenosha counties. Her hobbies and passions included travel, food and wine, music, and arts and crafts. Her famous Grandma Christmas gatherings, scavenger hunts, and special ornaments for her family were the highlights of the season.
Brenda is survived by her children, grandchildren, sister, and nephew:
* Christopher Pates (son) and wife Carol Pates (daughter-in-law), and their children Nick Pates (grandson) and his daughter Adalyn (great-granddaughter), and Garret Pates (grandson) and wife Annie Pates (granddaughter).
* Andrew Pates (son) and wife Tori Berdelle Pates (daughter-in-law), and Andrew Pates and Cherie Cash Pates' children Miles Pates (grandson) and Sophia Pates (granddaughter).
* Sarah Wood (daughter) and husband Kerry Wood (son-in-law), and their children Justin (grandson), Katie (granddaughter), and Charlie (granddaughter).
* Claire Pickett (sister) and husband Jack Pickett (brother-in-law), and their son Mark Pickett (nephew).
A memorial service follow by a celebration of life will be held at Journey Church, 10700 75th St., Kenosha, WI 53142 on Friday August 2, 2024 at 11am. In lieu of flowers, the family is asking for donations to be made to Brenda's volunteer group and preferred charity organization, Love Inc., 339 Lakewood Ave, Waukegan, IL 60085 (847) 782-8630.
Rest in peace, Brenda. We love you and will miss you very much.
View All Photos
Add Photos to Memorial
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Suzan Snook
September 13, 2024
I remember how kind she was to my son Chris. Such a smart woman.
Suzan Snook
Dixie Dolman
August 2, 2024
Keith & I want to express our deepest sympathy to the Pates family for your loss. Brenda was a true champion for the homeless and needy. She was a wonderful prayer warrior and friend. She will be greatly missed.
We met Brenda through Journey Church & Hands of the Lamb group. She was a great leader & her vision for a permanent shelter was always on her heart. Our mission trip to West Virginia was a life changing experience & I will never forget the kindness of the people we met.I was so blessed to have known her. Though I won´t be able to attend the service today you will be in our hearts & prayers.
Barbara Poynter
August 2, 2024
Ms. Brenda was the kindest and most compassionate woman that I have ever met. She genuinely cares deeply for others and loved the Lord with her entire heart. I´m so very grateful that our paths crossed this side of Heaven. Heaven has truly gained an Angel.
Sue Lawson
August 2, 2024
I had the privilege knowing Brenda for about 30 years and I can say she was the most loving and compassionate person I know. I will miss you my special friend!
How you can show support
Donate in Memory
Make a donation in memory of your loved one.
Add photos
Share their life with photo memories.
Plant trees
Honor them by planting trees in their memory.
Follow this page
Get email updates whenever changes are made.
Send flowers
Consider sending flowers.
Share this page
Invite other friends and family to visit the page.
Gary Garland
August 2, 2024
I echo the words of my colleagues at Love INC, Brenda was such a blessing to the Love INC family and those who were calling for help and hope. Such a prayer warrior, she remined us daily what it meant to depend on God and what a good and loving God He is. What a blessing for me for God to have placed her at Love INC, my prayers are with all of her loved ones.
Emily Dillon
August 2, 2024
I have known Mrs. Pates the majority of my life. She was always happy and care free, with a smile on her face. 17 years ago, when my daughter was born deaf, I knew she was the person I needed to reach out to and get advice. She truly helped me navigate my daughter's diagnosis. Mrs. Pates took time out of her schedule and became my daughter's first sign language teacher. She used her knowledge, skills, and training to help me when I was lost and frustrated as a new mom trying to communicate with my daughter. Her encouragement, ASL lessons, and love are something I will always cherish! Sending my love to all of the Brenda's family.
Sue Turchi
August 1, 2024
I volunteered with Brenda at Love INC (in the name of Christ). She was such an amazing person with an incredible heart for God and our Love INC "Neighbors". We also shared a love of reading and doing jigsaw puzzles. I miss her terribly, but know we will see each other again in the company of our Lord and Savior Jesus. Rest in peace my dear friend, I miss you.
Family of Marble and Rita Mainini
August 1, 2024
Chris, Andrew, Sarah, Claire and family: We send our heartful condolences for your loss. The world has lost a very bright light. Our thoughts and prayers are with all of you. A donation has been made to Love Inc. in Brenda´s memory.
Madison Cowart
July 31, 2024
I was blessed to know Brenda for most of my life. She truly was one of the kindest people I've ever met. She has always been a true faithful friend to my grandmother; Sue Lawson. Thank you for giving me the opportunity and privilege of being able to have you in my life.
Gregory Friedrich
July 30, 2024
I looked forward talking to Brenda when I came through the front door at LoveINC. Our families were next door neighbors on Stewart Ave in Waukegan back in the day.
May God bless her family during this difficult time. In time we can celebrate Brenda´s Life after Life!
Greg and Paula Friedrich
Shannon Holman
July 25, 2024
She taught me about life and through Christ to be better person. She's a great teacher and one of my role models. Deeply missed Ms. Pates.
Ashley gallagher
July 24, 2024
Ashley gallagher
July 24, 2024
T a m i O c h o a
July 14, 2024
I Remember Brenda as a gentle caring Trailblazer for her students. She was always willing to lend an ear when I needed somebody to listen. She was patient when I was having difficulty with the FM system device. A true angel on Earth. She will be missed.
Michael Fitzgibbons
July 12, 2024
I just want to say - sorry for your loss. I knew Sarah at Carmel High School - great person. So - sorry and I am sending prayers.
Mike Fitzgibbons, Retired Campus Minister
Kathy Dever
July 12, 2024
I met Brenda about 12 years ago at our senior center in our exercise class. Marybeth, Diane, Brenda and myself become a little group that enjoyed several outings together including Kingfisher baseball games in Kenosha, plays in Chicago, dinners, lunches, bunco, etc. We had a lot of fun together. Covid put a stop to everything but we remained friends throughout it all. She will be missed.
Laurie Mueller
July 11, 2024
Being able to overhear Brenda talking on the phone with those in need was a blessing to me. "It sounds like you are in a hard time right now, can I pray for you?" and immediately you felt a calming presence on the other end of the line (and in the office!). We love her happy smiles, chuckles, and example of Christ that she was to all she encountered at Love INC!
Denise Kindle LaPointe
July 11, 2024
Brenda was a dear friend and mentor from the moment I met her in 1992 in Waukegan. She always had a smile and kind word for everyone. She was an advocate for her students and their families. Her volunteer work through the years was amazing. She will be missed by all who knew her. A donation has been made to Love Inc in her memory.
Will
July 11, 2024
Her smile.
Marybeth kavanagh
July 10, 2024
1970 or so walking down the hall at Daniel Webster Jr. High in Waukegan Illinois where we both were employed as teachers. Her room was on the lower level near the cafeteria. My room was on the 2nd floor. She always put her students first and would go out of her way to help them.
50 years later we volunteered at Bernie´s Books and worked out together and were part of a great group of women in our card making club.
I will miss her!
Showing 1 - 22 of 22 results
Make a Donation
in Brenda Pates's name
How to support Brenda's loved ones
Honor a beloved veteran with a special tribute of ‘Taps’ at the National WWI Memorial in Washington, D.C.
The nightly ceremony in Washington, D.C. will be dedicated in honor of your loved one on the day of your choosing.
Read more
Should I Send Sympathy Flowers?
What kind of arrangement is appropriate, where should you send it, and when should you send an alternative?
Read more
What Should I Write in a Sympathy Card?
We'll help you find the right words to comfort your family member or loved one during this difficult time.
Read moreResources to help you cope with loss
Estate Settlement Guide
If you’re in charge of handling the affairs for a recently deceased loved one, this guide offers a helpful checklist.
Read more
Obituaries, grief & privacy: Legacy’s news editor on NPR podcast
Legacy's Linnea Crowther discusses how families talk about causes of death in the obituaries they write.
Read more
The Five Stages of Grief
They're not a map to follow, but simply a description of what people commonly feel.
Read moreWays to honor Brenda Pates's life and legacy
Obituary Examples
You may find these well-written obituary examples helpful as you write about your own family.
Read more
Obituary Templates – Customizable Examples and Samples
These free blank templates make writing an obituary faster and easier.
Read more
How Do I Write a Eulogy?
Some basic help and starters when you have to write a tribute to someone you love.
Read more
