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1922 - 2017
1922 - 2017
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Carl Pisacane
August 3, 2017
I cant believe it is over and you are no longer with us Dad. With your passing Dad, I and we as a family have lost our parents. An era has passed and with it all that is left are all the found memories. These great memories help manage and navigate the loss of not just you, but of Myra and Mom as well. Although I feel a painful sense of loneliness at times with you, Mom and Myra gone, I also have gained a sense of peace as I reflect on what a great life you, together with Mom and Myra, have created for our entire family. I will now lead the second half of my life cherishing these memories with a much greater appreciation for what the gift of memories truly can mean and the legacy they provide for my wife and children.
I wish we could have spent more time together in the closing months dad, but the time we did have together were some of the best. I really appreciated and enjoyed our conversations and so thankful I figured out how to communicate my thanks and appreciation for all you did for me and our family. You were the sweetest pain in the rear father a kid could have, but you always had a way of showing us that you had our been interest in mind. I will always fondly recall our funny conversations about who was a better father you to me or me to my kids but bottom line and I am still learning, I have you to thank for showing me what it means to be a father. Your impact on me and our entire family can not be summed up in a few words, but I will say I thank you for showing us what it means to lead a life of honor, integrity, high character, personal responsibility, self determination, persistency and to never quit. The world is unforgiving so don't let a little set back stop you, learn from it, stay positive and good things will come. This wisdom you left us with dad and it is helping me to navigate this punch to the gut and crushing sense of loss with your passing.
Thank you for all you did and god speed to you. You are awesome! RIP pop I miss you and will always love you!
August 1, 2017
WHAT DAD LOVED
In Memorial For Our Father, Fred Pisacane
What Dad loved most of all was us, his family...more than anything else in the world!
But he also loved...(in no particular order)
Watching sports especially his beloved University of Alabama Alma maters football team...ROLL TIDE DAD!
Johnny Carson and the way he could make a joke
New York... Manhattan, Long Island or Upstate
Music especially Big Band era, Jazz, Frank Sinatra, Billy Joel and some good ole Willie Nelson
Closing a BIG mining deal
ANYTHING sweet but especially Baby Ruth bars, jelly beans, Sees Candies and ICE CREAM!
America and being a very proud American and WWII Veteran.
Playing cards, any game but bridge was a favorite
Playing AND winning at racquetball
Playing racquetball with his Capital Athletic group and sharing great times with them
Dancing, he was so smooth
Reading books; from poetry to fiction, history of all kinds and theological or books about his Christian faith
Eating at restaurants from fine dining to fried chicken
Being charitable and making a difference, if even in a small way
Being the life of the party or having a stimulating discussion
Going to Costco...and having a hot dog
Being at the ocean and later just enjoying a drive-by to see the water
A beautiful Sunset, especially at the beach
Traveling, he and Mom had some great trips and then he and Myra saw the world together even taking Marco Polo's route through Uzbekistan. The trip to Italy with his kids in 2014, was his "bucket list" trip that became reality!
Reading the newspaper, especially the Wall Street Journal
Watching TV...from news or sports to action or war movies and even the cooking channel!
Being a Do-It-Youselfer, from yard work and cutting kids hair to painting the house.
Loved all the presents we'd give him and never forgot who in particular a gift was from
A REALLY Good Cigar, often with a little Whiskey
Being "In The Market," as in the stock market, it thrilled him up until the very end
LOVED each of his grand kids; with keen appreciation of their unique gifts and encouraged them to DO ANYTHING, BUT SOMETHING they could be passionate about.
Dad wasn't the most patient individual, but he always encouraged us to pursue life with gusto, and to always keep trying to do our very best...to become our very best.
No matter what we did, Dad was always proud of us and especially in the last years appreciated our collective efforts on his behalf. This last year or so was very difficult, but it gave us as Adult Children the opportunity to collectively join in making Dads time as good, joyous and peace filled as possible.
We love him and will miss him dearly but find comfort in knowing he's reunited with his two dance partners, Marge & Myra
"The value of a man resides in what he gives, not in what he is capable of receiving." Thank you Dad for giving each of us so much. We love you now and for always.
Ed Barreiro
August 1, 2017
I met Fred over 30 years ago. I'll never forget the walk we had in Northport when I ask him for Jean's hand in marriage. I always told him that I would do my best to care for his only daughter, and while sometimes I have done better than others, it will be 30 years September 19th, 2017. We keep a picture of Fred, Jean, and myself in the bedroom that shows us happy together at Jean's graduation from UCSB. It's hard for me to look at that picture and not smile, thinking of all of the good times we have has as a family. Fred, I told you I would take care of your only daughter and I will do my best the rest of the days I have here on earth. I look forward to seeing you in the "Promise Land" someday, just hopefully not any time soon. Look out over Jean and I and thank you for being her dad. Love you Fred!
Brent Andrews
August 1, 2017
From earliest childhood Uncle Fred was always a presence in my life. He was indeed a force of nature. I can still hear his voice and when i do it brings a smile to my face. I have had many things to thank him for over the years. Some are simple things, like introducing me to hockey with tickets to my very first game (Rangers and Montreal) and my first trip to the Garden. More meaningful things like always being ready to open any door he could for me as my career began. But mostly i thank him for his deep love of family, and the effort he made to always be in touch, to visit, to include me in plans, and to encourage all of us to stay in touch with each other as well. He was devoted to our mom, and to the importance and meaning of the bond between our families, and to making sure that it would not fade. And i say this not just for myself, but on behalf of Norman, Lori and Arn as well who have also said the same over the years. But lastly, i thank him most for doing me the honor of allowing me to get to know him as a man, looking back on his life in his later years, sharing his thoughts as he reflected on that life and himself, both the things he thought good as well as regrets. He set an example of decency, honesty and true reflection to live up to in a way that no one else ever has. Thank you Fred, i will miss you...
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Jean Barreiro
August 1, 2017
Daddy,
Here I am writing this to you knowing you're no longer here and
I am still struggling with the reality of losing you. I know that you know
how difficult your loss has been for me and all who loved you so much. I
know you would not want me to hurt so badly because we spoke so often of the
promise of Heaven. Yet here I am, with an ache in my heart so profound that
I cannot put into words the pain of missing you. We are now left without
Mom, Myra or you, so we begin this new chapter in life with our parents no
longer a part of daily life. All we have are memories; that is strange and
difficult at the same time. What I can say, is that every time I am
overcome with my grief, you show up to remind me that you are close and to
just "RELAX" and let myself feel it, then smile because I know you are at
peace and right here in my heart. Surely I must have been prepared; for you
had struggled for so long and had lived such a long life... yet the truth is
that I was not prepared, and I miss you so much every minute of every day.
Being the only girl in our large Italian family brought about
such a special relationship between you and me. Through the years, that
make up a life time together, we had a love that defied many challenges. YOU
were always my hero Daddy. You believed in me and saw deep inside to who I
was. You were brutally honest, yet always reminded me of how much I had
accomplished and to be proud of those things. You were not perfect and would
often tell me the imperfections were part of what makes us human, so don't
be afraid of your faults. Instead, try to learn from them to be better than
I was yesterday. We were extremely close and our bond was incredible... it
was always something we both treasured.
Dad, you were nothing if
not a man of your convictions. You believed in God, your family, hard work,
and the fortitude of owning one's self. I didn't always appreciate your
candor, but was grateful for your continued reminders of my accomplishments
and to be proud of them. You encouraged me to be all I could be, not be
defined by anything nor held back by any limitation. You were very much a
self-made man and always encouraged me and my brothers to be the very best
we could be.
We experienced many difficult times together. Your
ability to stand by me daily was nothing short of amazing. As the only girl
in our family, I was extremely close to my mother; losing her at such a
young, vulnerable age affected me profoundly. Dad, you intuitively knew how
to give me the space I needed while never leaving my side. I will always
remember your strength as you persevered silently through your own loss to
put all of us kids first...YOU were a survivor and you showed me how to be
one too! I recall, during yet another particularly difficult time how you
called me EVERY single day for 6 months. Just to check in on me, remind me
that I was loved and that I deserved a love that respected me. I will never
forget that you always stood by me, shoulder to shoulder, heart to heart.
You found Myra, and brought her into your life and ours and somehow it just
worked. She was always there for me (and the boys) just like you. You
continued to be my hero, my confidant, and my best friend throughout our
lifetime together. I know you delighted in seeing me happy!
Those
last years of your life, it was difficult to be separated by our
geographical distance. I know we made it work the best we could. I loved
our daily conversations and the little nuggets I would be left with until we
spoke again. We shared a great mutual love of our faith and those
conversations about our Savior Jesus Christ were something I cherished
deeply and I believe brought you great joy as well. When we began our Book
Club it gave us another opportunity to have many great conversations about
the books we read together. Reading to you in that last year was especially
enjoyable, especially "The Italian Journey" and our favorite book, "Proof of
Heaven." At the end of this book we discovered a wonderful poem by David
Romano entitled "When Tomorrow Starts Without Me." We cried together as I
read the poem to you and then discussed so honestly how it affected each of
us. When you asked me to do you the favor of reading this poem "when the
time came," when we'd all be gathered to celebrate your life I didn't
realize it would come so soon. I just thought we'd have more time. Because
you were, well bigger than life, you were Fred the invincible! But, your day
came and I read this to the boys on the day of your passing as we all
reflected and shared our grief and then again at your funeral mass in
Southern California.
Thank you Daddy, for loving me so
unconditionally; for ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS being there for me with your
strength, support and steadfast commitment to me. You showed me time and
again the love a parent can have for their child. I know that the example
you showed will be helpful as I continue to navigate through parenthood. I
will carry you in my heart forever, knowing that one day we shall be
reunited. Today I cling to this final passage
So when tomorrow
starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you
think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.
I Love you
Daddy
Your Girl ~ Jean
Dad and Paul at Nolan's Baptism
Paul Pisacane
July 28, 2017
Dad,
What can I possibly say? I'll start with the simple statement that I love you and I miss you dearly. Here I am months from your passing and it still hurts profoundly. Having lost you and Myra within a year has been a stunning blow that I find myself struggling to accept. Now that all of my parents (You, Mom and Myra) are gone a particular type of loneliness has come into my experience that I cannot put into words. It is a perverse and odd feeling that is beyond words and yet here I am moving forward with my life. While no parent is perfect I sometimes failed to remember that fact when it came to you. I held you to a ridiculous and impossibly high standard that in hindsight was not fair and for that I apologize. I am comforted by the fact that I have no doubt you knew that I loved you no matter how frustrated I could get with you. I only wish I were more of a man to move on from those frustrations and tell you more explicitly and more often how much I loved and appreciated you.
You were a man of deep convictions. You were passionate and uncompromising perhaps most fervently when it came to raising your children. While you may not have always been the most empathetic communicator I never EVER doubted your deep love for me. My trust in that fact got me through many a tough time in my life. To think of how you shepherded six young children through the loss of their mother and the extremely complex emotions associated with that loss while dealing with your own struggles to accept the loss of your wife stuns me to this day. Then to somehow convince a woman like Myra, your equal I might add in the strengths of her convictions, to marry you and take on raising three more children speaks to your grace and qualities as a gentleman let along your skills as a salesmen ;-)
Life is never easy and ours certainly wasn't but you have provided a guiding light as to how to manage challenges and persevere no matter the gravity of a situation. You instilled a sense pride in your children and taught us the value of staying true to our word and the rewards that come from having a solid work ethic. These are immeasurable gifts that only come about when there is deep and profound bond between a parent and his children. You learned these traits from your parents and we were lucky to have you as a father who was compelled to pass them onto to us.
I am forever thankful that I was brought into this world with you as my father. I love you and miss you dearly.
With love and respect,
Paul
Michael Barreiro
July 27, 2017
Starting in my early childhood, I always had a very deep connection with Grandpa, different than any of my other grandparents. Maybe it was his story of his immigration to America, or his stories about traveling Europe in World War 2, but whatever it was I always felt a close bond with him. My earliest memories of Grandpa go back to the days of Sacramento, where he lived in that house with no air conditioning. I can remember little things about Fred and Myra, like when they used to take us to that swimming pool in their neighborhood, and then play Connect Four while watching the news. Later on Grandpa ended up buying me my first gun, which has turned out to be quite a hobby for me. I will always have that to remind me of him.
It is very sad to think that I will not have another conversation with Grandpa, or get to hear any more stories about his adventures throughout the world, but important lessons have been learned from him. Imagine where Grandpa would have been had he not had a large family to take care of him. If there is one thing that I have taken away from my relationship with Grandpa Fred, it is the fact that family is the most important thing in the world, and nobody had a better family than he did.
After everything, and now that I have accepted his passing, I can look back on my memories with Grandpa and smile. Remembering events like watching him drive alone down the California highway in the HOV lane or him playing with my dog Bella, can still make me laugh out loud. Grandpa was one of the nicest and most respected men I have ever met, and he lives on through each of us. I will cherish my memories of him and look forward to meeting up with him again.
Lou Pisacane
July 26, 2017
Poppa, I still can't get used to the fact that your gone and your absence only highlights the huge roll you've played in our lives. It's been awesome to see all the folks that you've touched. It was my honor to be able to help you these last two years and in a small way, give back for all you've done for me, Corinne, Shaun and the rest of the family. We miss you everyday.
Fred Pisacane
July 25, 2017
My Eulogy for Dad~ In the last two years of my father's life, our family had the great opportunity to take care of him which allowed more appreciation for who he was and how he took care of our family.
My dad was a wonderfully simple guy; he was direct, committed, resilient, loyal, always present, and brought energy to everything he did. Having inherited the strong will of my grandmother and the affability of my grandfather, he was thus always at ease and confident no matter the situation.
He had two long marriages to two exceptional yet different ladies. While he sometimes referred to our step mom, Myra, with my mom's name, no one doubted his love and respect for both. You see, with my dad, no matter how heated the situation, there was never any concern that he was firmly with you.
He believed in being direct and taught us how to express ourselves. I'll never forget the first time he put me on the spot and forced me to adapt to a situation. We were on our way to a Boy Scout camping weekend and I blurted out that I had forgotten my canteen and needed to go back and get it. Rather than backtrack and be late, he drove over to another scout's house and told me to see if they had an extra one I could borrow. He seemed to have no qualms that it was 5:30 in the morning! When I protested he immediately replied, "Look, Mr. Geris is a morning guy and, besides, I know he scares you. The worst that can happen is that he says 'no' which leaves us right where we are now." When I came back to the car, all he said was "nice job" and "let's go." My dad, gratefully, was not an I-told-you-so type of guy.
A year or so later on another (longer) camping trip, my dad and Mr. Geris were coming up for the second week and had packed fresh milk for the 30 scouts. The car park was a 10-mile hike and canoe trek from our island campsite. Somehow signals had gotten crossed and no one was at the car park to meet them. Worse, after carrying the heavy milk along the trail, there were no paddles at the canoe landing. So, the two of them fashioned paddles from scratch, patched the damaged canoe, and made it out to the island like it was no big deal.
Years later when I was looking for a job and not sure what to do, my dad said, "Well, in my experience, nothing happens until someone sells something." At the time I was not sure what he meant, but I have come to learn that truer words were never spoken.
While it is difficult to sum up my dad's life in a few words, I'd like to end by sharing that my father brought vitality to everything he did and he taught us kids to do the same. He knew that life is short and so he lived a full one. I miss him and yet, at the same time, I celebrate everything he accomplished.
Julianna Barreiro
July 24, 2017
It is hard to look back at my time with Grandpa and just think of one favorite memory --- funny enough a lot of them revolve around food because whenever he would come visit us in Austin, he would insist on always going to the famous Salt Lick BBQ restaurant and to Schlotzkys for a sandwich (usually after visiting a museum exhibit featured in Austin at the time). Even though I am not the biggest fan of museums, I still always enjoyed going with Grandpa because I always had the best time with him. He was one of the nicest and best people I knew. I always admired how he didn't really care what people thought about him. I think that this trait definitely grew more with age, but it's a characteristic that I would like to try to embody more.
One of my other favorite memories is him teaching me how to drive when we would visit him and Nana in Sacramento. I think he started letting me drive at age 12, as we started with just short drives to the neighborhood pool, but it was probably the safer option all things considering. I like to think it helped me to be able to survive the 12 lane highways in Houston that I drive on every day now.
Pretty much every time Grandpa and I would talk on the phone or facetime the past two years, he would always ask about my job, where I was currently traveling to for work, and how I liked living in Houston (he used to go there some on business back in the day). When we closed out our conversation he would ALWAYS tell me to invest in the stock market, particularly in GE. Although I did learn some about the stock market and investing in business school I still don't hold any stock. I am going to honor Grandpa by actually going and investing in the stock market maybe in GE.
I still miss him every day, but it make me happy to know that he is in a better place in Heaven. I know he is always watching down on me and I look forward to seeing him again one day.
Julianna
Frank Pisacane
June 18, 2017
It is just wonderful to come here and see all the photos and read the memories that people are sharing. Today is the first Father's Day without a chance to wish him our best. Nancy and I really miss him. I am so thankful for all the stories he shared with me in the last two years. Many things that I had never heard about thru all these years. I am very proud of my father. I look on all he has accomplished and it truly inspires me to live life to it's fullest.
Sandra Rock
May 9, 2017
I'm certainly going to miss Dearest Fred. He was the sweetest man I knew. Every time we would get together when it was time to say goodbye he would kiss my cheek and put the sign of the cross on my forehead. Loved our dinners and brunches with Myra and friends. Goodbye Fred know you are with all your family and friends.
Donna Dempsey
May 1, 2017
It has taken me awhile to comptemplate Fred's death. The end of a long interesting chapter that began with my dear friend Myra.
He entered into our Newport social world with gusto, often offering opinions of different views and always offered his warm generous hospitality. He embodied all the varied parts of his life, the humble beginnings, his education, life before and with Myra. I am thankful
for shareing all thise years in Newport and bits of Reno and CA.
My loving thoughts are with you.
Socrates: death is a removal from one plane to another, and what is said is true, that all the dead are there, and what greater blessing can there be than this, my judges? But this is clear to me, that now to die and be freed of my cares is better for me...but now it is the time to depart, for me to die, for you to live. But which of us is going to a better state is unknown to everyone but God.
Carolyn Quenon
April 29, 2017
I met Fred through Myra, at their wedding. We always caught up when they came East. He was excellent company. I thought he and Myra had a very affectionate, if unexpected, marriage. I always wanted to get to California to see them, but I never did. I remember him fondly.
Carolyn Quenon, Sea Cliff, NY
Ted Frohling
April 26, 2017
Fred was my mentor in engineering sales while he and I worked for Mountain States Mineral Enterprises in the 70s. The stories he told were always interesting, enlightening and often very funny. He taught me many life lessons. I'll miss Fred.
Steve and Dale Scibelli
April 26, 2017
What an amazing life Fred led! Although we didn't know him personally, it appears he was a "larger than life" personality. His passing will leave a large void in the Pisacane family, but there are undoubtedly tremendous memories to be cherished by all. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
Fred & Myra in Northport
Carlyne & Richard Durnan
April 25, 2017
To borrow from the Reader's Digest, Carlyne and I must say that Fred was surely one of the Most Unforgettable Characters we've had the very good fortune to have as our friend. He was also one of the most lovable characters, and, sometimes, a bit prickly. We met him in the early days of the Northport Book Group, whose discussions were enlivened by Fred's insightful, keen, and occasionally politically-incorrect observations. He often opened our minds to unsuspected notions. And dear Myra would graciously smile when, following a comment she'd made, Fred would reply with something like, Now wait a second, Myra, you're missing the point....
A discussion with Fred was always lively and sometimes serious, with his incisive sense of irony and humor to lighten things. I fondly recall the sparkle in his eye as he would turn his head to comment on the subject at hand. Fred's manner of speaking often reminded me of another of my favorites: Humphrey Bogart.
As a kid who'd grown up reading the news reports of the war in Europe, I was always conscious that my friend, Fred, was one who had been there and who'd survived some of the fiercest fighting in Italy, a man of the Greatest Generation.
Fred and Myra's generous, welcoming spirits made us feel at home when we were with them and their family. Carlyne and I are thankful to have, for a time, walked this pilgrim road with them.
Requiescat in pace, Fred.
April 24, 2017
Fred is in a wonderful place. I look forward to joining him soon. He is a great guy and fun to be with.
Carl Walker, Grand Junction, Colorado (formerly Northport, LI)
Bruce Coolidge
April 24, 2017
I was blessed to know Fred through his years in Sacramento and The Capital Athletic Club. He loved a spirited game of racquetball and could talk at length on nearly any subject. His smile was a delight and he treated everyone he met as a friend for life. Thank you Fred for making me a better, more caring person. I know you are now Home with Marge and Myra, smiling down on all of us and the good works you've done. Godspeed my friend.
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