Gladys Allah Bender

Gladys was born on July 14, 1920 in Poplar, California to James and Bertha Cook. Her Father was born in Temecula where his family was in the freight wagon business, moving goods from points east into the Palomar and San Diego area. James grew up in the teamster business and became a professional handler of large teams of horses. Her Mother, Bertha Hopkins was born in South Dakota and later moved with her family to Glendale, California. She graduated from Glendale High School followed by graduation from the California Normal School (later to be named UCLA) with a certificate for teaching grades K to 8. After their marriage, they moved from Southern California to Central California where work was available.

Two years after Gladys was born, James found work in Poway for the San Diego County Road Department and with the sure knowledge, that cars were not here to stay, loaded up the family in a covered wagon connected to a team of horses and moved the family which consisted of Bertha, Gladys, and her two brothers, Frank and Ralph, to Poway.

While James worked a road grader powered by 8 horses, Bertha raised the children and in the mid-1920’s helped start the first school in Poway, Pomerado School, and later becoming its principal. At some point James came to the realization that cars were not a fad, became the school bus driver for Pomerado school. Gladys with her older brothers grew up living in a house built on the school property attended their mother’s school, and at least in the early years lived a pioneer style of life with no electricity, using kerosene for lamps and heat. Gladys had a horse named Johnny, which she rode with both saddle and bareback through the hills and valleys of the Poway area. Playing with older brothers produced both a strong will and physical ability, which contributed to her surviving a rattle snake bite.

Gladys was a very good student who loved History and Geography (which would be very valuable later in life). Following her graduation from Pomerado School, she attended Escondido High School where she was a star field hockey player, and having grown up with two older brothers she was strong and fast, and according to eye witnesses, struck fear in her opponents as she came down the field.

Shortly after her graduation in 1938, she attended a dance in Poway where she met Jay Bender, and on November 29, 1938 took their wedding vows in Long Beach California. Working through the war years, she and Jay had their first child, Ralph in 1943, followed by Les in 1946, and Jack in 1947. Gladys began working outside the home in the early 1950’s and later retired from Macy’s (the successor to two other department stores) after 30 years of faithful service.

Even while working and raising a family, Gladys took the time to belong to many organizations, rising to the leadership of Long Beach Chapter of Eastern Star, Royal Neighbors, and Rebeccas. In addition she was active with Daughters of the Nile, White Shrine, and Oriental Shrine. She was also active with Jay in various activities of the El Bekal Shrine Temple.

Gladys loved to travel, and in between work, organizations, and her household duties, she put together vacations and weekend travel for the family. Sometimes it was spur of the moment and other times more planned, especially the summer vacations. Travel included camping, hiking, river running, trailers, planes, trains, automobiles, and ships. She believed that travel was an education and taught her boys to read maps, learn history, be exposed to other cultures, and explore the flora, fauna, and geology of the country. After retirement, she could really stretch her wings and over time visited all the states of the union, Washington D.C., Canada, and Mexico. She never left home without her AAA maps and travel guides, wanting to see whatever was in reach of any route taken.

In 1988, Gladys and Jay celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, and in 1998, just a few days before Jay’s passing, celebrated their 60th anniversary, still in love and completely devoted to each other.

Despite her loss, she continued to travel, sometimes with family, sometimes with friends. She was always ready for a trip, no matter the situation. Just days before she passed, she was talking about a train trip to Albuquerque! She was one of a kind. No one could forget her smile, the shine of her eyes, and the love expressed to everyone around her. Another of the “Greatest Generation” has passed, leaving us to examine our lives in the reflection of hers. The daughter and granddaughter of pioneers, she exhibited the curiosity, resilience, confidence, dedication, and strength so characteristic of her generation.