Pamela deJong-Aviles
Pamela deJong-Aviles
Obituary
Guest Book
Pamela deJong-Aviles Obituary
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Laura Silvestri
February 14, 2005
The last time Pam and I corresponded was in the early 1970s. If I were to use minutes and hours to measure the distance between us, it would feel like an eternity but if I use the luminosity that shone from Pam's wonderful spirit, distance is reduced to a moment in time.
Recently, I opened an old favorite book. By chance, a letter written by Pam, in her very distinct handwriting, drifted downward landing softly on my desk. It was a letter chock-full of enthusiasm; youthful, sweet and carefree yet, not frivolous. Pam was not frivolous in the sense that her consideration of others set her apart.
To hear that Pam attended finishing school is both a charming and amusing story. It was from my teenage-perspective she already seemed a woman-of-the-world, sophisticated beyond my clumsy existence, gentle and poised. I did not have the words at the time but I was a teen in crisis and whether she sensed it, I cannot say, but her kindness and friendship helped me through.
Thank you for allowing me these words. Thank you for sharing Pam's story. To Pam's dear husband, to her precious family and friends, please accept my heartfelt sympathy. Thank you Pam, wherever you are, for the moment and for the light toward the future.
Benita Zimmerman
February 1, 2005
My heart goes out to Pam's family and her husband Larry. Pam was a special person as expressed by all who were fortunate enough to know her. I knew her from Taylor Intermediate and briefly at Mills High and she was a very beautiful & kind person. I am sure that all the good memories you all have of her will live on in your hearts forever.
My deepest condolences to you all.
Benita Zimmerman
Lynn Early
January 28, 2005
Dear DeJong Family,
Our hearts and best wishes go out to you for your tremendous loss. I am so very fortunate to have visited and laughed with Pam and Larry. Their charm and devotion is still remarkable to me and something I will never forget. I feel so lucky to have spent time with her. Thank you Tammy!
With Lots of Love,
Lynn and family
Marika Stille Jenkins
January 26, 2005
We were friends when we were young girls in Singapore. Our Parents were also close friends. Pamela was not only a beautiful girl from the outside but also from the inside.
How you can show support
Send flowers
Consider sending flowers.
Add photos
Share their life with photo memories.
Plant trees
Honor them by planting trees in their memory.
Follow this page
Get email updates whenever changes are made.
Donate in Memory
Make a donation in memory of your loved one.
Share this page
Invite other friends and family to visit the page.
Julie Senaldi
January 25, 2005
Wow, what a great entry by Dirk (especially for those of us who never had the pleasure of meeting Pam - I have such a great feel for how special and loved she was!)
My prayers are with ALL of Pam's family during this really sad and hard time. I know how you are feeling (going into week 4 after losing my Dad). Just hang in there and know you are in our and many other peoples thoughts & prayers.
I am so glad she is in a much better place....Take care.
Love, Julie
Tammy Todd
January 25, 2005
Pam..
My sister, my friend, my best friend, my hero.
Pam and I took a very special journey together through life. When we were young, even though we were 9 years apart, she always cared for me, made sure I was safe and loved me, even though I may have gotten in the way a few times. Nine years is a big difference when one is 5 and your sister is 14. Who would want to care for a five year old when there are better things out there to do: Pam would and she did. As we travelled the world together and lived overseas in Hong Kong and Singapore, our sister hood grew. Although she had a life of her own, being nine years older than me, Pam always kept a close eye on me. It was a sad time for me when she returned to California and I stayed overseas,,,we were seperated for a time seeing each other only during our California summertime visits. We became friends when I returned to California.
Nine Years age difference didn't seem quite so big at that time, but we had a lot of catching up to do. And we did. She continued to care for me, made sure I had adjusted to California life, and loved me no matter what. We went through good times, sad times, ups and downs as all siblings and friends do. Pam was always there for me no matter what the circumstance.
We became closer firends and sisters with a deeper bond after Dave and I married and had our first born son, Danny. Pam often cared for Danny while I went to work and that was a hightlight in Danny's day; spending time with Pam. Doesn't get better than that!
Nine years difference made no difference now.
Our relatonship tightened over the years and we truly became best friends. She was there for Dave and me at 3am when Michael was born, with her soft spoken voice, supportive words, and gentle heart. We woke her again at 1am to witness the birth of Nicholas, she was there too, with the the same soft voice and gentle heart. What a gift. Our children adored Pam, and loved her with all their hearts. She taught them many life lessons: how to be patient, how to seek and to find the good in all, how to be kind to nature, and to love deeply. Pam was a wonderful aunt to our boys, often having them for sleepovers where they stayed up late, played UNO, watched movies and ate popcorn. Swimming with Pam was a big summertime activity for our boys. My family, Dave and the boys were blessed when she and Larry moved to Sunnyvale.
Nine years made no difference.
When my best friend, Pam, became ill and was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, my world turned upside down. Through her battle with this horrific disease, she continued teaching life lessons not only to me, to my children, but to all who knew her and to even those who did not. She cared more about how everyone else was doing. Always asking in her gentle voice, "how are you", " can I do anything for you" , "let me know if I can help." Always thinking of everyone else. Through out her illness I told my best friend, Pam, she was my hero. Pam never complained. She took each step with courage, hope and had a never giving up, fighting spirit. Even when anger would set in and I would say how unfair things were...she would always reply..."it has nothing to do with fairness." While on our trip to Maui (and that was a true gift from so many people,) we would talk late into the night, while drinking tea and giving ourself facials. We spent much time reminising on childhood adventures, talking about our dreams and wishes, and of course we talked about her illness and all that it encompassed. To have walked the beaches of Maui, and enjoy downtown Lahaina with my hero is something I will treasure forever. I would do anything to have that time with her again.
Nine years, makes no difference when the bond you share is solid.
If I had just an ounce of Pam's courage, strength, compassion and will power, I'd be able to better handle all of life's ups and downs, no matter how big or small.
I am a better person because of Pam. She was my sister, my friend, my best friend, and will always be my hero.
Dirk deJong
January 25, 2005
Pam was born in Redwood City on Christmas Eve 1953. As a baby and through her early years she loved to climb up on and over things. She was very active as a young child, always running and skinning her shins and knees. One day she fell down against the stoop badly breaking her front tooth. Luckily it was a baby tooth.
Pam always had lots of friends. Among her earliest friends and still best friends today were Joanie and Millie Utermohlen who with their parents were family friends for more than 50 years.
In 1959 when the family packed up and moved to Hong Kong for a couple of years Pam went to a British School and also took up dance classes for a while. She loved to go swimming and to play with her friends from school. Returning to Millbrae in 1961 she went to Chadbourne Elementary. Pam always kept busy playing with her friends. Best friends then included Diane who lived across the street. They later became related when Marie, Diane’s sister, and Pam’s brother, Dirk, were married largely because Pam and Diane remained good friends as they went their separate ways.
In the early 60’s Pam’s sister, Tammy, joined the family. Times sparkled for the whole family. Pam went to Taylor Jr. High, and started at Mills High School. She was very close to Suzy the family poodle, and had several cats and had some hamsters that always somehow got loose in the house. Then in 1969 Pam’s Dad got a big promotion and was transferred to Singapore. Pam had so many good friends at the time that she didn’t want to go saying “I’d rather go to Sing Sing than to Singapore.”
Going to Singapore though turned out OK. Pam and Tammy got another miniature poodle puppy named Suzy who later had a son they kept named Stanley whose father was the big German shepherd down the street. She had more cats who she loved. She also started horseback riding. Pam excelled at riding horses and soon had her own horse, King, who had retired from the Singapore racing circuit. King was a handsome, very friendly horse, and Pam spent a lot of time with him. In Singapore Pam graduated from the American High School. While there she made friendships that last to today with Jan, Monique and Frederica though they went to different parts of the world. After graduating Pam and Monique went to a “finishing school” in Lausanne Switzerland. The school was quite strict, and Pam and Monique were quite mischievous; so the blend wasn’t perfect. The parents received some exasperated messages from the school, and Pam and Monique eventually managed to escape there.
Later Pam went to Hong Kong where the bank transferred her Dad on his last assignment with them. There Pam earned money modeling, appearing in magazines and newspapers. In Hong Kong she was chased by many men, and received numerous marriage proposals. Two fellows even chased her later to California. One a Canadian diplomat flew all the way from Beijing. But she turned them all down. Pam over the years in California developed very close friendships including with Bob, and Nana, with Joanie and Diane, and with Joan Mersman, Craig, Annette, Marie and many others.
Pam worked at the humane society and for the San Mateo school district helping handicapped children. She also worked several years as a volunteer with Parca helping handicapped adults. While at San Francisco State Pam met and married Thomas. Later Pam discovered Sea Ranch where she returned many, many times. She also fell in love with the Sonoma area, Calistoga and Maui. During these years Pam shared good times with her nephews Dave and Jonathan. They always loved their Auntie Pam and liked to stay with her; especially Dave who at the time was old enough to go along on trips to Sea Ranch.
In the early 80s Pam took care of the Misty Lane house for her parents who continued to live in the Orient. Neighborhood legend has it that in this house during that time there was much merrymaking along with several huge social gatherings.
Later there were some dark times but Pam had the strength and resolve to overcome them. As she prevailed over them she started a career lasting 10 years for the Palo Alto school district helping handicapped children.
In the early 90s she met Larry. He was to become her sweetheart.
She and Larry were married in Hilo on the island of Hawaii while staying with Jan and Scott at their home there. Pam and Larry made a life together first in San Mateo and more recently in Sunnyvale. Sunnyvale was a great place to move to as Pam’s sister Tammy and brother-in-law Dave lived close by. Tammy’s kids Danny, Michael and Nicholas all loved Pam and spent lots of time with her. Especially Michael who stayed at Pam’s over night many times.
Larry’s sister Anita and Pam became great friends. Pam and Larry’s friends Annette and Bill liked the area and moved nearby. Annette and Pam became very close.
Over the decades Pam remained very close to her cousins in Holland Marion and Karen who are like sisters.
Pam had a wonderful dog named Teddy who was her constant companion, and a cat named Katinka. Both reflect Pam’s sweetness and gentleness.
Pam throughout the years remained devoted to her friends, and her family. She was a wonderful sister to her brother Dirk and Tammy and a wonderful daughter to her Dad and Mom. Spending countless hours with her Dad in his last few years, and always being there to help and be with her Mom.
We will all miss her.
Larry, Pam, Tammy and Stacy
January 24, 2005
Annemarie Cota
January 19, 2005
Prayers and good thoughts to the deJong family, especially Dave, Tammy, Danny, Michael and Nicholas.
Showing 1 - 9 of 9 results
Make a Donation
in Pamela deJong-Aviles's name
How to support Pamela's loved ones
Should I Send Sympathy Flowers?
What kind of arrangement is appropriate, where should you send it, and when should you send an alternative?
Read more
What Should I Write in a Sympathy Card?
We'll help you find the right words to comfort your family member or loved one during this difficult time.
Read more
Resources to help you cope with loss
How to Cope With Grief
Information and advice to help you cope with the death of someone important to you.
Read more
Estate Settlement Guide
If you’re in charge of handling the affairs for a recently deceased loved one, this guide offers a helpful checklist.
Read more
Obituaries, grief & privacy: Legacy’s news editor on NPR podcast
Legacy's Linnea Crowther discusses how families talk about causes of death in the obituaries they write.
Read moreWays to honor Pamela deJong-Aviles's life and legacy
Obituary Examples
You may find these well-written obituary examples helpful as you write about your own family.
Read more
Obituary Templates – Customizable Examples and Samples
These free blank templates make writing an obituary faster and easier.
Read more
How Do I Write a Eulogy?
Some basic help and starters when you have to write a tribute to someone you love.
Read more
