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Mary Bonasera Matthews
Mary Bonasera Matthews
Obituary
Guest Book
Mary Matthews Obituary
Dec. 15, 1953 - April 17, 2005
A memorial service for Mary Bonasera Matthews, 51, of Coos Bay, will be held at 3 p.m. on Sunday, April 24, at North Bend High School Gymnasium, 2323 Pacific. Cremation and inurnment was held at Ocean View Memory Gardens.
She was born Dec. 15, 1953, in Warren, Ohio. She died April 17, 2005, in Coos Bay.
Mary attended Kent State, Youngstown State and Ohio State University, where she earned degrees in dance and speech. As a graduate student, she attended Cornish School of the Arts as a dance student and earned her master's in education from Southern Oregon University.
In 1987, she began teaching modern dance, physical education and English at North Bend High School and taught until 2004. During this time, she developed the modern dance program from two classes into a department which included three levels of dance and choreography and performance class with a touring company. Her classes had a total enrollment of more than 100 students, with two annual dance performances.
In 1991, she married Dan Matthews. She had two children, Carmen and Rachel. Mary sat on the Oregon State Board for Arts in Education and was a member of the National Dance Education Organization. She was a strong proponent of the fine and performing arts in the public schools. In addition to teaching, choreographing and raising a family, Mary enjoyed crafts such as quilting, crocheting, raising and preparing pressed flowers and beading.
She was a dynamic teacher, an inspiration to all who knew her and will be greatly missed.
She is survived by her husband, Dan Matthews, son, Carmen Matthews and daughter, Rachel Matthews, all of Coos Bay; parents, Michael and Lena Bonasera of Warren; sister, Janet Richards and her husband, Chuck, of Warren; brothers, Tom Bonasera and his wife, Julie, of Columbus, Ohio, and Michael Bonasera and his wife, Susan, of Marysville, Wash.; and stepchildren, Christina Plews and her husband, Eric, of Leaburg, Woodland Hood and her husband, Dustin, of Coos Bay and William Matthews and his wife, Shauna, of North Bend.
The family suggests memorial contributions to the Mary Bonasera Matthews Memorial Dance Scholarship for students pursuing dance at the university level in care of 90087 Cape Arago Highway, Coos Bay, OR 97420.
Arrangements are under the direction of Coos Bay Chapel, 267-3131.
Sign the guestbook at http://www.theworldlink.com.
To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.
Heather Greene
May 20, 2005
I was not able to make it to Mary's memorial, but on the day of I celebrated her in my own way. I visited the "Master Tree." This was a special place to Mary and I am blessed that she brought me there and opened my eyes to the amazing beauties of this big city. I will miss her dearly and will never forget the love she brought into my life. Mary, you have touched my life, my heart, and my soul and I am grateful for you everyday!! To Dan, Carmen and Rachel... I love you and you are in my thoughts.
Marcia McCreary
May 20, 2005
Dearest Mary, I really miss you...
Precious memories of all the great times we spent together in the 70's, all the girlfriend talks at your cousin Jude's, watching you and Jude dance and dance and dance...(I loved going to Cleveland to watch you two practice) and being amazed at the beauty and passion of your swirling, free-spirited style. Your dance was such an outward expression of your soul, I always loved that about you... Special memories of all the laughter that we shared at Cindy Miller's house and the awesome chocolate zucchini bread you used to bake for us. Always thoughtful, always full of excitement and inspiration to everyone around you. I have a great picture of you dancing at my wedding twenty years ago...of course you have on a beautiful purple and red scarf and are the best dancer on the floor... you always had a way of lighting up a room. I'm so glad you were a part of my life. Reading all the letters from family and friends made me realize just how enormous your impact was on this planet.(Jude and I talk often...she loves and misses you so) Your family must be so proud of you...yours was truly a full life and one I admire greatly. What a powerful legacy you have left for your children! You will be so missed...but I am glad you are finally free my dear gypsy friend...I see and feel you around me every day and take comfort in the thought that you are dancing again in heaven.
Love,
Marcia (Borucki) McCreary
Katrina Morin
May 16, 2005
Long before I knew Mary as my teacher, I knew her as my mother’s best friend, and from the first moment I met her, I was captivated. Truly an artist, Mary created life with passion and complete surrender to every moment. Truly a talented educator, she inspired both students and colleges with her loving persistence and amazing professionalism. Truly a talented human being, she gave from her heart and felt beyond the limits of her spirit. From Mary I have learned so much about dance, life, and how harmoniously the two flow together. As an artist, aspiring educator, and young woman, I carry with me so many of Mary’s valuable lessons. I am grateful that she would be so generous to include me in her life, and instill these gifts upon me. I’m still dancing for you…and I will continue to learn.
Kathy Morin
May 16, 2005
I have been on this site so many times, and words seemed to limit me. But it’s really important to share them with you, because we share this loss.
I miss Mary with every sunrise, and every sunset. I miss her when I am teaching, because of the love we shared for dancers. I miss her whenever some sign appears, and I want to tell her about it. I miss her when things get crazy at the high school, and I don’t have her to bounce off of. I miss her when I am afraid, and I miss her when I am joyful. I miss her at some point during every day.
But at the same time, I am so grateful for her! I am so grateful for the friendship we shared--it was love in its purest form. I am grateful for the moment she decided to introduce herself and pretty much ask if I wanted to be her friend. What a beautiful and direct person! I am grateful for that.
I am thankful that she taught me so much about being a friend. I’m thankful that she needed me as much as I needed her. I helped her through many things, big and small, and she did the same for me. She allowed me to stretch myself into the truest of friends. I’m so glad of that.
I do go forward with so much hope because of Mary. She taught me so much how to love this life. I knew that already, but it was so good to have that affirmed in our friendship every day. In this way, we helped each other. We had such a good time, even when it was difficult. The art of giving, the art of creating, the art of sharing--these things we learned together. Life is sweet and I’m so glad that we celebrated it every day. I know that what she wants is for us to continue to do so.
I’m so glad she shared the love of her family with me. My heart goes out every day to those she loved. She talked of family with such pride and fierce love. That makes me glad to have met many of you. To her parents, I say, you did such a wonderful job of bringing thiis person into the world, and helping her become who she was, and is today. To her sisters and brothers--you are the best, and did your best for your little sister. She loved you very much. To her friends and students who wrote on this site--she spoke of you all the time, and you meant so much to her. To Dan, Rachel and Carmen, I love you so much, and am so glad that I met you through her. I am grateful for your love. I am strong and true to you as well, will never let you down. Even in my tears I find happiness always, because in this life, the only realm we really have is the realm of the heart. And there she is, and there you are!
Kathy Morin
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Junia Caley
May 4, 2005
My freshman year in highschool, I featured Mary Bonasera Matthews in an essay on the person I most admired. I remembered watching her dance pregnant with Rachel (nothing held her back from dancing and choreographing) I just knew that I wanted to be like her. Little did I know what I had in store. Her energy is infectious. She made us push our limits, to the point we were uncomfortable. I am a better dancer today because she was my teacher- I am a better person because she was my friend. Here's to Jazmyn, to salt sisters, to fresh air and dancing barefoot. Thank you universe for allowing her to cross my path.
Barbara Brown-Sengelmann
May 4, 2005
Marylee was victorious in her search for meaning and living life from the Spirit! What an energy she captured and gave away freely from life's moonbeams of ordinary experiences...loving all the way, dancing as if no one were watching or the world might be..."in the house!" Connecting to her simple abundance of heartstrings for the love of her children and the husband she waited so long to love...She loved deep. Ordinary experiences of life that others only skip by or ignore were the only seashell on the beach of her glorious life's journey.
I loved her from the moment we met! She was and will always remain in my heart an example of living as a Fearless Warrior of the Dance of Life. That girl turned others onto laughter just by her willingness to wear a red cowboy hat--and live life successfully by enlarging this exact moment with her brave expression. ...what a pleasure to have been near her!
I believe she would do it all again exactly the same way as before.
No regrets!
JUMP into the life in front of you and dance on and just keep on dancing...
Her adventure among us will be truly missed by anyone who knew her and I can only count myself among those that echo -- thank you Mary for including me on your moonbeam even if it ended too quickly. I have been blessed by your presence in my life...until we meet again, thank you for blessing us as you danced by on a cloud of purple haze...you were an ultimate joy!
xoxoxo
barbara
Julie Bonasera
May 3, 2005
I'm sitting here reading all of the entries in this guestbook and just thinking about and missing MaryLee. Most of you called her Mary, but if you knew her as a child, she was always "MaryLee". When I started dating her brother Tom, (known as "Tommy" by family) she was only about 14! Tom and I met at OSU, and ML. would be so entertaining every time we would visit his family in Warren.
She was in our wedding in 1969 and became one of my "little sisters".
We've had so many wonderful family memories and "girlfriend" memories, right up until our last time together last June at our home in Sarasota, Florida. She brought Rachel and the 3 of us had a week that I'll never forget! Even then, she wouldn't let the disease spoil her fun! That trip was another "gift" of her generosity and sweetness. She just wanted Rachel to have a fun trip to add to her many great memories. I'm so glad that I had that time with her! What a special lady!! And I'm so thankful to Dan for sharing her for those precious days.
I love you MaryLee and miss you everyday.
Tom and I loved being with all of you out in Oregon for the Memorial. What a beautiful ceremony and how it honored her life!!
We love you, Dan, Carmen and Rachel and miss you, too.
I think about you everyday and pray that her memories and strength will help get you through these tough times....
As she always ended her notes to me, "You can hear happiness".
Love always,
Julie (& Tom)
Michael D. Bonasera
May 3, 2005
Postings in this guest book have spoke of the eloquent way my father, Mary Lee's brother Tom, spoke of her at the ceremony in Warren, Ohio with their parents. He wanted me to post his remarks to this space so that those who could not make it could hear what he had to say...
---------
Mary Lee
By Tommy
INTRO
I think because I am the lawyer in the Family – Janet and J.R. tapped me to speak.
But Mary Lee was the Performer – not I.
Yes, I regularly speak in front of large audiences but never on a task so difficult as this . . .
So, if I falter and shake, and my words tremble – please understand.
Now, Mary would say – as she did to her students and even her Husband when she knew he would be speaking at her own memorial . . .
“When you are performing – do not let your emotions get in the way of your performance.”
Sounds like Mary Lee giving orders – doesn’t it?
Well, Mary Lee, I will try –
But I cannot promise I will not cry.
There is too much to say about Mary Lee’s life and, as friends and family, you know it well and have your own thoughts and memories.
So, I thought I would share with you some of the thoughts Mom and Dad must be feeling and to take you back with me to Mary Lee’s Interment Service in Coos Bay and share some of the words Janet, J.R. and I spoke to each other when we attended Mary Lee’s Interment Services with Dan, Carmen and Rachel, Julie and my son Kevin, J.R.’s wife, Susan, and her daughter Randi . . .
A small private ceremony.
And I must tell you – it is a lovely location – between two beautiful trees sheltered by a wall with a lovely mural of Christ, as a Sheppard, and the words inscribed on the wall
“He maketh me to lie down in green pastures, he leadeth me beside the still waters.”
Truly a place of and with those words a picture of peace and tranquility.
Janet
Let me start with Janet’s wonderful words:
“Mary Lee truly valued every moment spent with her loved ones (as we all do) and our hearts are broken today as hers was in Room 330 at Coos Bay Area Hospital.
She was especially heartbroken at the thoughts of leaving Dan, Carmen and Rachel and Mom and Dad.
Psalm 34; Verse 18 says:
‘The Lord is close to the broken hearted and those who are crushed in spirit he saves’.
And, so I know God was with her in Room 330, and He is with us today in this sacred place.
I’ll miss my dancing little sister and her big loving generous giving heart.
Mary Lee’s favorite prayer, when she was a little girl and we shared the same bedroom on Swallow Street, was the Angel of God prayer.
I know she was on her journey to heaven with all the angels of God accompanying her, when the grey skies opened up as Carmen, Rachel and I watched the sun come out and shine through.
I hope we’ll all be together with her some day.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote:
‘Life is real, Life is earnest, And the grave is not its goal.
Dust thou art and to dust returneth, was not spoken of the soul!’
And, so I pray Hail Mary Angel of God.”
Janet’s Words.
J.R.
We all cried a lot at the service and J.R.’s words were hard for him.
Ya know, for such a big tough looking guy, we all know he is the most gentle of all of us.
Living on the West Coast, he was blessed to spend more time with Mary Lee for the last 20 years, and for that, he was thankful.
But J.R. and Susan wanted me to share with you what happened just after we returned to Dan and Mary’s home overlooking the Pacific Ocean after the service.
As Susan said, the ocean was a special place for Mary to be.
She loved the Redwoods and any towering tree.
J.R.’s
Words: “We had all just arrived when a beautiful Osprey Hawk flew in with a grand wingspan and colorful feathers.
We all rushed to the windows to look and wonder.
What a spectacular specimen of a Bird she is!
Dan said in the 10 years they lived there, they had never seen an Osprey, and never one so colorful, perched near the home.
We decided it was Mary Lee.
She came back.
So, we opened the windows so she could hear us.
Rachel went upstairs and played a little flute music for her.
The Osprey sat and listened for over an hour.
We were blessed with her visit one more time.”
Do you believe in magic?
Mary Lee did!
Tom
As I was standing with Julie and Kevin at the Interment (and I hope you are now with us there), I suppose I could have been thinking about growing up together . . .
J.R. and I always teasing Mary Lee and Janet,
(And they held their own pretty well).
Or, about when she attended Ohio State
and we were able to see each other more often . . .
Or, about the joy she felt about choosing to be a single parent
Or, her happiness on meeting and marrying a wonderful Husband, Dan Matthews
And, so many other memories . . . .
But what came to mind first was when in 1999, I was sworn in as President of the Ohio State Bar Association and Mary Lee came to Cleveland for the occasion and all the parties.
She was without a doubt a real head turner – all dressed up in her red dress and purple scarf – (she really liked scarfs).
She was proud of me but I could never have been more proud of her -- And that we were all as a Family together at one time.
It was a grand occasion, and with all of us boring lawyers – Mary Lee’s presence made the occasion a lot brighter, and certainly more colorful.
Wherever she walked, whomever she talked to, the sun was always shining . . .
As Mary Lee would say:
“Magical events are always happening . . .
Every person you meet is an opportunity
To share and learn,
And open the path
To another world.
Let those things happen,
Enjoy them, and embrace them.”
Whenever Mary Lee was around – magical events indeed were always happening.
In the end – (especially now as I look back on the passing years) –
One soon realizes all of us are here only for a moment in time,
And though we wish her moment was longer –
Know that Mary Lee let life happen, enjoyed and embraced every moment of it.
Mom & Dad
It is difficult for me to try and express in words Mom and Dad’s relationship with Mary Lee.
Certainly, Janet, J.R. and I know we are all loved equally,
But I also know that Mary Lee, as the Baby in the Family, had that special connection . . .
Not just because she was the Baby – but throughout her life, Mom and Dad were always there for her in a special way.
Yes, we all know how fiercely independent Mary Lee acted – creating for herself an extraordinary life on the West Coast –
Advancing her teaching and dancing career to heights I am sure the State of Oregon will never see again.
The 1,000 or so students, friends and fellow teachers who attended her memorial are a testament to that.
But as successful as she was in her life – she could never get along without Mom and Dad – and I do not mean in a financial sense.
I mean in an emotional, I need to hear you, see you and be with you sense . . . .
After all, Mom and Dad helped raise Mary’s wonderful son Carmen, allowing her to work and to attend school and become that very independent woman she was.
In her final months, no matter how ill she was or how bad the pain she endured was (and she never let on), she traveled here to see Mom and Dad.
She just had to –
And distance,
And no damn illness would stop her.
If I could borrow some lyrics from a song –
Mom and Dad –
If they were here speaking, and not me, would say . . .
• Isn’t she lovely
• Isn’t she wonderful
• Isn’t she special
• Isn’t she precious, from the moment she was one minute old? . . .
Yes, Mary Lee was and will always be.
Mary Dziak Papalas
May 3, 2005
I still have the glass mosaic paperweight you bought me. Holding it up to the sun, you said it reminded you of me. All the colors shun differently in the sun, and like me, had a tendency to change depending on how you looked at it. You said it was beautiful, yet, somehow weird. You knew me so well. Your gift has stayed with me, never leaving me through both good and bad moves, just as you will never leave me dear friend. Your love, your advice and your courage will stay with me forever in my memory and heart.
Kathryn Carr(Maggiano)
May 2, 2005
My dear cousin,Mary, I had very little time to know you and feel I missed out on knowing a beautiful and lovely person. But know that just by knowing that you were such a wonderful part of my sister's life, I feel I was a part of yours. I know you are greatly missed by your family. To your husband, I pray that God will see you through this. To Carmen, whom I remember at my first wedding when you were just 3 or 4, I know that you have become a handsome, strong and special young man. God Bless...To Rachel, who I also met briefly at my dad's (Uncle Matt's)when you were maybe 2 or 3, I know that you, along with your brother, will carry on the legacy of your mother. Know, all of you that she is now in good hands with my dad, Matt, and that she is looking down on all of you with love. God Bless, Kathryn
nettie waldorf
April 30, 2005
Mary Lee, I attended your memorial in Warren Ohio today and it was filled with lots of love for you from your family in Ohio. But of course you saw that. The love for you was shining brightly through the eyes of your sister Janet, your brother Tommy, who spoke so eloquently of you and your passion for life. Of course your mom and dad, Uncle Michael and Aunt Nellie were there and they were surrounded by those who love them. I was younger than you not by much but I remember sitting in Uncle Matt’s living room one Sunday afternoon. The men sleeping, watching golf or both and you and Judy were talking and laughing and thought to myself I want to be as beautiful as them when I am in high school . I remember you as feisty but your gentle soul flowed as freely as that gorgeous curly hair of yours. When I think of you I see you hugging my dad, all of your aunts and uncles with passion, that passion which you carried inside and presented to all. My sympathy to your husband and children and may they know that we in Ohio are praying for them.
Love, Nettie
Jennifer Plank
April 28, 2005
Mary Matthews was so much more than just a teacher to so many people. She truly wanted to get to know each of her students on a personal basis, which lead to her becoming an amazing friend. She made everyone who came in contact with her realize that they each had unique qualities that made them special in their own way. She truly touched the lives of everyone who came in contact with her. Although I hadn't talked to her in a few years, I knew of her illness and she was in my thoughts often. She was an amazing teacher and even a greater friend. We have lost an absolutely incredible person and she will continue touching lives even though she is no longer with us. God bless her and her family, my thoughts are with them during this difficult time. Thank you for sharing your wife/mother with the community.
robert raines
April 28, 2005
There was never any time spent with Mary that was not filled with laughter. We shared a passion for great music. Heaven, as seen in God's Word, is a place filled with laughter and music. It is tragic to have lost a beautiful person in such an untimely manner. My thoughts and prayers are with the family.
CINDY (MILLER) ROSS
April 28, 2005
Mary, Mary. What can I say? Mary was 3 yrs ahead of me in school but we became the best of friends when we started working together at the local Police Dept. Summer of 1975. We used to get such a hoot out of our working at the Police Dept! The two of us, local hippies working with Police Officers with crew cuts! When Mary found out my middle name was Beth and my initials were CBM, she nicknamed me the Continental Ballistic Missile. That was so Mary. I remember our ice skating afternoons on Packard Pond. Boy, could she cut some ice. I'll also never forget the first and only time I met Carmen. I was home from Florida and Mary was in town. She was getting the biggest charge out of having a 2 year old that loved McDonald's. She said, "Cindy, where did he come from! I never eat McDonald's!!" She said it with such love and adoration at this new little wonder in her life. I have never met Dan nor Rachel but I'm sure they felt the same kind of love. We will meet again one day, my dear and funny friend. Love you, Cindy (Miller) Ross - CBM
Stephen & Mary Maggiano
April 27, 2005
My Dear Cousin Mary Lee - we are sad that you have left us so early, and happy to know you are at peace in Heaven. Say hi to my Dad, he always liked you.
Mary (2nd row, center) and her high school buddies.
Vickie Todd
April 27, 2005
My memories of those dark, twinkling eyes and all the fun we had in high school will forever keep Mary alive in my heart. (Please see "Mary and her high school buddies," a photo taken in May 1972.)
Caitlin Day (Stokes)
April 27, 2005
I am so grateful to have known Mary.
One of my favorite memories of her was just a few years ago at Roger's Zoo. She and Dan were out for a night out on the town. This was a treat for me, a former student, as I had never seen her dance outside of the classroom or stage. I just remember how carefree she looked back then. I like to think that she's dancing that way again.
Dan, Carmen and Rachel: You are in my thoughts every day. May you find comfort in how much Mary was loved and will be missed by all.
Karen Allgire
April 27, 2005
I met Mary at Ohio State University in the Dance Department. She was beautiful, inspring and full of life. Small memories are so precious. Her colorful clothing and scarves. "Do decorate" she would say. She was sensitive, loved dance, and loved nature. Nature was her teacher and her healing balm. She loved to laugh. Like Mary, I had lots of thick brown hair. I'll never forget Mary saying how she looked into the mirror one day and said "Someone in the world has hair like this, and it's me!" Somehow these little memories really tug on my heart. She loved homemade pizza with tons of garlic. She loved throwing a great party, and we had a few. She lived deeply, felt deeply and loved deeply. Her life made the world better.
My deepest sympathy to all Mary's friends and family. We were all so lucky to know Mary.
Erica Shlisky
April 27, 2005
I first met Mrs. Matthews my junior year in high school and from the moment I saw her I was in awe. She was so free, happy, and full of life, I knew then she was one of the most beautiful people I had ever met. I never had the pleasure if being in her renouned dance classes but I was in her speech class. If not for her I probably stiil would not be able to speak in front of a crowd with the enthusiasm I have now. She was one of those teachers that i would skip other classes just to go hang out with her, a genuinely wonderful woman. When I found out she had passed I was at work and broke down on the spot even though I had not seen or spoke with her for years. My hero was gone. Although she is no longer with us, i can still feel her presence, she is in every woman who sponatiously laughs, in every care free moment you have, and in everyone who dances just to feel the rush of happiness overcome them. For me she will never be gone because she became a part of my heart a long time ago. I love you Mrs. Matthews and will look forward to the day we meet again.
Davina Albert
April 26, 2005
It is so amazing, and yet so completely unsurprising, to read all the stories and prayers from the countless lives that Mary's presence blessed. That is what she did; she shared her bright spirit and beautiful soul with every person she ever encountered; she blessed us. I have a piece of Mary in my heart that I will carry forever, for we are connected. My mentor, my teacher, and my friend, I love you.
Janice Galbreath Fleischer
April 26, 2005
Mary and I grew up a street over from each other. Our brothers Tom and Don were great friends.
I feel priviledged to have gotten the chance to visit Mary at Rosanna's house a few years ago. We had not seen each other since high school when we graduated together.
We recalled the special times we had learning to rollerskate on my slate sidewalks. Mary and I had a nice visit that night and I got to meet her daughter, of whom she was very proud, as she was of her son and husband.
I will remember Mary for her beautiful curly hair, great personality, kindness to others and the courage she showed during her illness.
I want to extend my condolences to Mary's family and friends, as we will all miss her very much.
May God bless you and give you strength.
I'm sure our Mary is now dancing in heaven.
Ecclesiastes: 3:4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
In sympathy,
Judith Dohar
April 26, 2005
Memories of Mary
walking on stilts in her driveway-playing clue-your dog BIG-crochet with Aunt Ruby-Grandma-sweater sets-family reunions-the roots of dance we explored together-vista and spiral dance-that summer workshop in Toronto, so happy-coming home and meeting my future husband on the N.Y. hwy, you said "Hmmm a cycle here" intro to astrology-new york city-holding Carmen as a baby in the mountains-our daughters-Dan's smile-you on the west coast, me on the east-so far away-but never in heart or mind-our "child of the universe" where do we go from here? I'll be watching the sky- and I'll be listening-
cousin Jude
Andy Bonasera
April 26, 2005
I wanted to send my love to Dan, Carmen, and Rachel. The memories I have of my Aunt Mary are filled with smiles, hugs, and a comforting peace that was so unique and special when in her presence. The time that I was able to spend out in Oregon some six years ago, I still hold very close to my heart. It is with great regret that I was not able to attend the ceremonies. My thoughts and prayers have been with you all throughout.
Love, Andy Bonasera
anne mckibben
April 26, 2005
...root beer floats...and lots of them..
...ice skating at night on the local pond..
..walking home together from school..
..staying up all night and looking out the bedroom window...
..science class...
thank you, Mary, for some of the best of our childhood...
You will be so missed...by so many
anne
Sara Ekelund Higgins
April 26, 2005
How can I express my love for a woman who was larger than life and poured out a never-ending flood of love? It feels like a hole has been ripped in the very fabric of the universe.
When I heard the news of Mary's passing, I was wearing a bracelet she gave me and a pink bracelet to support the fight against cancer. My first thought was "Kismet," meaning "fate" or "destiny." It was meant to be. It is something Mary used to say to me all the time...and then she would laugh that wonderful, loud, Italian laugh! We would run into each other at a dance concert in Eugene and be wearing the same color and she would say to me--"Kismet!" and then laugh! Her daughter, Rachel, was born on my 16th birthday....kismet. We collaborated on many dances and from far distances we would have the same thought about a dance we were working on....kismet. She always made you feel that you were connected to her and her family by some magical force that could not be explained, but was as powerful as the moon and the stars.
Mary gave me dance, but she also gave me a model for life. A life so well lived! A life that never made excuses. Mary never made excuses and she taught us never to make excuses for ourselves. "No disclaimers" she used to say. That life speaks to me now....I smell it in the ocean air, see it in the purple flowers in my yard, hear it in the Jimi Hendrix song on the radio. Thank you, Mary. I will carry your spirit with me every day of my life.
Thank you to Dan, Carmen, and Rachel and the rest of Mary's family for sharing such an amazing woman with all of us. We will never be able to repay the huge amounts of love you and Mary have shown us, but we will do our best to return the love and pass it on.
Much love....
you can hear happiness....the wind cries...mary
Kelly Barnett
April 25, 2005
We will miss Mary. We met through Rachel and Kira in dance class, and remet through the eyes of Carmen. I will listen to the wind, and dance as if no one is watching.
Kelly Barnett
Rachael Guster
April 25, 2005
It's so easy to love Mary, it's not even something you have to be conscious of, she was and continues to be larger than life. I can go on forever about how much I love her. Most powerful however, and what I hold most dear, is that she loved me too. I realized that Mary loved me when she gave me a "talk" when I was in high school...only mothers "talk" like that! and aside from being paralized in fear, i felt LOVE! When a woman as vivacious as Mary loves you she is willing to go to war for you, and with you! Mary intricately wove her love in my heart with encouragement, sincerity, power, strength, nobility, and honesty. She was not just my dance teacher she was my life teacher, a mentor, a mother and a freind to me. She will always be with me.
Dan, Carmen and Rachel.....thank you for sharing-I love you. Thank you for carrying her spirit. I look at all of you and see her love pouring out!God bless your precious hearts!
To be loved by Mary- How Magical, How amazing!
Tracey Schultz
April 25, 2005
To those who view this amazing use of technology to share thoughts of a truly amazing woman, I would like all of you to know how much Mary was thankful. In Making Waves the Waves performance this last February, myself and 7 other company members performed my first piece of choreograpy. After viewing my dance for the first time I realized that it was expressing Mary's life thorough dance, and from that moment on I knew I would dedicate it to her. After sharing this with her I was shocked to find out how grateful she was to me, only 17 years old and wanting to be in Mary's class for as long as I can remember, for dedicating my piece to her. After watching it she told me that all of her favorite pieces made it in and that she was so honored by it. Thank you Dan,Carmen,and Rachel for letting me get to know and love the woman you all hold dear so much.
Celebrate diversity
Embrace individuality
Fly with the eagles
Soar forever
Dedicated to Mary Bonasera Matthews, the heart and soul of Waves. Thank you for lending us a little bit of your magic.
Colleen Nordholm
April 25, 2005
Mary touched lives in a beautiful way. Two of my children were in her dance classes and enjoyed the class, and loved Mary. She treated them as beautiful human beings... with such a kindness that touched me deeply. My son and daughter were not only students to Mary, but so much more...she touched my son's soul in a way that teachers usually only dream of doing. Mary, you are SO missed.
Meagan Rich
April 25, 2005
Words could not express the motivation, discipline, and love that Mary provided for all of us. I sat with her through some of her most difficult times and she was still stronger then most people I know. She will be missed so very much...
Dan,Rachel, and Carmen- As Mary was always there for me, I will always be there for you.
Love,
Meagan
Amanda Usher
April 25, 2005
I had such an amazing time learning from Mary and I will always remember what I learned. "Dance like no one is watching"
My thoughts and prayers are with the family.
Emily Kohler (Stokes)
April 24, 2005
I want to offer my condolences to all of Mrs. Matthew's family. I enjoyed being a dance student for the entirety of my high school years. Mrs. Matthews taught me not to care what imaginary rules there were about what type of people could be dancers- that loving dance and the people in it was enough. I echo the sentiment that she truly was the freest and most generous person I have ever known. The loss for the local community is most assuredly Heaven's gain.
Michael D. Bonasera
April 24, 2005
It was only with the deepest regret that I finally resigned I could not be there for the memorials; that I could not be there for my family. I am, however, glad my brother Kevin could go to carry the condolences we all share with Dan, Carmen and Rachel.
My Aunt Mary was freedom. She moved like water and in dance you could drown in her. She was light, fragile-beauty and courage. She was the strange delightful realization of unleashed happiness. She made you want to be more like her and in that way she wasn’t just inspirational she was aspirational.
She is Wife, Mother, Baby Sister, Youngest Daughter and Aunt.
I miss you very much Aunt Mary.
Aimee Elliott
April 23, 2005
She walked in the door of the store with a smile and slightly wind-blown curly hair. This was the first time I had ever seen Mary, but I felt like I had known her as a great friend all of my life. We played with brightly colored scarves and talked about dance costumes. What energy, what love! Not only for the dance, but for her students.
Love for her family was so apparent when we talked about Carmen and Rachel...
She left a gift of a small silver frog to me. He sits contentedly on his penny and reminds me to be thankful for each day's blessings.
When I attended the "Waves" performance at SWOCC, her dance students performed, "A Celebration of Life" which was coreographed by Mary. After the show, I commented to Dan about how moved I was by this dance. With a smile, he told me how this was only the second time in 15 years that THIS dance had been performed. He added warmly, THIS audience had been unable to resist clapping and cheering just as much as the first!
Mary, YOU have shown us how to celebrate life!
We will miss you.
carmen matthews
April 23, 2005
I want to thank all of our friends and family for being so gracious and strong through these times. My mother taught me how to live, love, and to recognize the beauty that is inherent in all beings. We must keep her spirit alive with our positivity, and love for the world. I know that we will all miss Mary, but this is her release into a world of beauty, and endless possibilities for dance and love. She is still watching over all of us. so keep you eyes to the sky, for the wind whispers Mary. thank you for everything, and love to all.
Angie Dreveskracht (Soyck)
April 23, 2005
I am so sorry for your loss but I know that you and Mary lived the moment. God bless you and your children.
Amanda Carl
April 23, 2005
Mary was an inspiration to us all. She was the type of person you always wanted to be around because she made each person feel so special as an individual and pointed out each one of our special gifts. She brought so much to her students especially self worth. My thoughts are with her family, She will be greatly greatly missed.
Amanda Carl
Deana Engelke-Spence
April 23, 2005
Even though it has been nearly 18 years ago, I still remember the very first time I met Mary. I was among among 20 or so girls in Mary's first dance team in 1987. I remember waiting outside the gym doors that August after the teachers were through meeting, just so we could meet her before school started. She helped us go to our very first State Dance Competition and though Carmen was very young back then, she worked with us very late after school so we could be ready for it. After living away for 10 years, I moved back to NB and often saw Dan and Mary various places in town. It was obvious to me that they shared a great love and passion for each other and their family. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.
Tana Benham
April 23, 2005
To Mrs. Matthews' family...my thoughts are with you! Mary was such a wonderful person with a beautiful soul. I only took a year of dance, but i also knew her through my sister and friends and she has touched so many lives. I am truly sorry for your loss of such a great and loving person. She will never be forgotten. Carmen I am thinking of you and your fam!
Cheryl Ivanov
April 23, 2005
Dan and family, I am very sorry for your loss. Mary was by far one of the best people I have ever had the privilage of knowing. She called me her little Italian sister since we shared the same birthday and were from the same place. We will all miss her greatly. She was a real inspiration to all who she touched. She will be remembered always. I can only thank God that I was able to get to know your family. God Bless Always.
Bonnee Young
April 23, 2005
I first met Mary when we both attended our son's (Carmen and Cole) DARE presentation in the cafeteria of Madison Elementary when the boys were in 5th grade. Mary and I stood next to one another as she lovingly cradled her newborn, Rachel, in her arms. Our friendship grew over the years as our boys conquered the challenge of little league baseball and we sat on the sidelines and encouraged them to "Keep your chin up!" Over the years we shared rewards, faced challenges, and stood tall as we watched our children grow and become who they were meant to be. In high school the boys continues to remain best of friends and extended family on both sides. One of my very favorite memories was when Carmen and Mary showed up one Valentines with a box of chocolates and a crystal vase of roses. I still have the vase and use it regularly as it reminds me of their love and thoughtfulness. Dan and Rachel, my heart goes out to you - I am SO sorry for your loss. Carmen, I Love you with all my heart and feel blessed to count you as part of my family. Your mother was so very proud of the young man you've become. You have her positive attitude and inner strength that radiates from within. Stay golden!
Maureen Cones
April 23, 2005
I loved Aunt Mary so much and have so many wonderful memories of times I spent with her. When she babysat me, she fed me raw hotdogs and we danced. She helped me do my makeup for the prom. (We all know how theatrical she was!) She taught me that it was okay to wear my hair curly and frizzy. She was the most free person I ever knew. I miss her already. Please keep Aunt Mary in your thoughts and, when you talk to her in your prayers, remind her to look in on her nephew, Mark Charles.
"The Wind Cries Mary"
Kimberly McKeown
April 22, 2005
Carmen,
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Mary in the Redwoods, July 2003
Dan Matthews
April 22, 2005
Thanks to all who have expressed their gratefulness for knowing Mary. She loved life, lived with passion, poured herself out to others, and lifted everyone who knew her to a higher level. She was the real thing.
Andrew Enders
April 22, 2005
My deepest condolences to Dan and the rest of Mary's family and friends. As a former student I had the honor of being encouraged and prodded by Ms. Mathews. I probably would have never pursued dance if I was not so encouraged and believed in. So I would like to say thank you Mary for sharing with me the gift of dance and the blessing of your life in mine.
Angela Haynes
April 22, 2005
Mary was a wonderful warm Lady who always brought a smile into a room. I knew her through NBHS, Friends/Family & she was had a very radiating vibe to her. She will be missed!
Rachel Matthews
April 22, 2005
My mother Mary Bonasera Matthews was (and is) a wonderful and loving person. She helped you through tough and easy. She wanted the best for everyone and always thought of others before herself. She will be greatly missed by hundreds of people and they all know in there hearts, as I do that she loved them. My mother was very brave and courageous againest the fight of cancer. If you are on this site I know that you love her.
Kevin Bonasera
April 22, 2005
Just showed up in Coos Bay. Lots of hugs, smiles, and stories about Mary while overlooking a foggy Oregon coastline. Mourning for all the living, friends, and family - Celebrating Mary's wonderful life.
Dan & Mary Matthews at Willie & Shauna's wedding
Dellanne McGregor
April 22, 2005
My beautiful and talented sister-in-law was such a bright and colorful light. I feel that our world is considerably darker without her and I cherish the memory of her light and grace. She was a treasure who touched many lives.
Billie Strebendt
April 22, 2005
Carmen,
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.
Billie
Mark Cones
April 22, 2005
I met Mary almost 3 years ago at a Cleveland Indians game where her family honored the marriage of Mary Susan, one of her nieces. Her presents was in a word, magnetic. Her every expression was filled with knowledge, patience and a since of freedom that most are afraid to experience. It was refreshing to say the least. As husband to Maureen, another niece, I am blessed to forever enjoy Mary's spirit and strength through my wife. She is not only the smartest woman in my life, but thankfully shares her aunt's since of self and respect for life. I am lucky to have experienced one micro-minute of a woman's life as great as hers and thankful that she passed her goodness on to me. I and Mary's new nephew Mark Charles and niece Jordan, would like to wish Mary's family all the best, especially my wife/mom Maureen, Mr. & Mrs. Bonasera, Mary's parents and her siblings Janet, Tom and J.R. We love you.
Amanda Cox (Ericson)
April 22, 2005
Mary will always be close to my heart for she was a great and fantastic person who brought the meaning of life and happiness to everyday life. She will be missed.
Suz Murphy
April 22, 2005
My only aunt by blood, Aunt Mary taught me a great deal. She taught me about strength, the arts, love of family, love of life and more. To Dan, Rachel and Carmen, please know that Scott and I are always here for you. Always know how much I loved Aunt Mary Lee,
MarySusan
Amanda Peek (Johnson)
April 22, 2005
Mrs. Matthews was a beautiful person and dancer! She brought an amazing class to North Bend High and to the rest of Oregon. She will be greatly missed!!!
Amanda Peek (johnson)
John Richards
April 22, 2005
My Aunt Mary had a spirit and vibrance for life like no other. Her passion and love for her family, friends and students will always live on. Her zest towards music and dance will continue to be an eternal light. Her strength, bravery, courage, dedication and love will be forever missed. I miss you A. Mary. "The Wind Cries Mary"
John
Kyle Johnson
April 22, 2005
Mrs. Matthews was awesome. I did not have the luxury of getting to know her as a dance/english teacher as a lot of my classmates at NBHS had the privelage of but know that she touched a lot of students and members of the community in a very positive way. I recall a certain occassion in 2001 when she wanted the Mr. Bulldog contestants to dance with her classses in that years Dance Show. She was so energetic and upbeat about it and made all of us guys, who felt really out of place, feel right at home!
Arla Ford
April 21, 2005
Our hearts go out to all of the sorrowing people whose lives Mary touched and especially to her children and husband. We can't begin to imagine the loss. Three years ago I wrote Mary to let her know I was pleased about the impact she had on my son, Ryan, and on my daughter, Ruthie. I have attended every dance show since 1992 when Melissa Kiffe invited me. Each year's remarkable performance has offered exquisite talent, grace, and growth. I was continually enchanted with what she was able to extract from her dancers. Ryan thrived with this exposure to dance and performance (and girls!). He was so distressed when his sister was only on the waiting list for freshman dance class. He threatened to call Mrs Mathews to beg for special favors so that Ruth could get in! I am sure that dance helped keep Ruth in school, so I am extra thankful that Ruth was given the opportunity to participate in such a hard-working, team-building, lovely activity. I admired the personal connection of acceptance, faith, and "you can do it" attitude that Mary made with her dancers. She exuded grace and grit, harmony and loveliness, mercy and forgiveness. She made a difference. Thanks to her family for sharing her so generously with all of us left here on the shore.
May God's extravagant love penetrate your sorrows. Arla and Craig Ford
Kristina Cato (Pierce)
April 21, 2005
Mary was my dance teacher 14 years ago, in 1991 we were her very first "experiment" at NBHS. The title of the show was primavera.
Mary taught me how dance was an art, an expression of ones inner self and today i dance but in sadness. Mary I will miss you very much you touched my soul many years ago, and now i know the lord is holding yours, till we meet again to dance on the clouds. All my love.
Kristie
Alicia Ashenfelter
April 21, 2005
We love you and you will be greatly missed!!
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