Maurice Samuel Varon

Maurice Samuel Varon was born March 12, 1927 in Brooklyn and died June 7, 2023 in Seattle.

He was the son of Dorothy (Dora) Blazer and Yomtov (Charles) Varon. Dora grew up on Rivington Street in the Lower East Side of New York City, in a family that had immigrated in the 1890s from Eastern Europe. Yomtov came from a Sephardic Jewish family in Gallipoli, Turkey. He traveled to Paris, where became a dentist, and then to New York, where he set up his dental practice.

Work was a part of Maurice's life from early on, and he relished it. Aunt Bertha and Uncle Jack had a wedding parlor, where Maurice worked with his cousins setting up tables and serving food. He also helped his father with his dental practice, heating up gold for inlays.

He loved learning and told of bringing home a history textbook on the first day of school and reading it that night from cover to cover. Maurice got a marvelous education in Brooklyn's public schools, including New Utrecht High School.

Maurice began Brooklyn College at 16. He majored in physics but took a wide variety of classes, joined the stage crew and briefly considered a career in theatrical lighting. He was also drawn to international relations and diplomacy, and took private lessons in Japanese.

At the theater at Brooklyn College, Maurice met Zipporah Werner, an actress who became the love of his life.

He told the story of operating a spotlight, and hearing Zipporah's laugh in the audience below. "I fell in love with her laugh."

The Brooklyn College theater was full of smart, talented, funny people, and it was there that Maurice and Zipporah made their closest, lifelong friends.

At 18 he was confronted by a choice. In the space of two days he received a draft notice from the army and an acceptance letter to dental school. He opted for dental school and attended Buffalo University. He received his degree at age 20 and joined his father's practice.

In 1950, Maurice and Zipporah married. Maurice joined the Air Force as a dentist, and the couple did stints in San Antonio, Japan and France. They then settled in Riverdale, in the northwest Bronx, and started a family. Maurice spent vast amounts of time with his children, reading aloud to them, helping with homework, playing Frisbee, introducing them to photography, showing them how to help with his dental billing, taking them to baseball games and anti-war demonstrations. He and Zipporah took the family on summer trips to California, Europe and Israel.

Maurice loved treating children and teaching them how to brush their teeth. His dental office had a waiting room with low tables and chairs, where children could draw pictures, and a large bulletin board where the pictures were displayed. Patients could choose music from a collection of records to accompany their treatment. He loved having patients from all over the world - and at one time a third of his patients were Japanese. His kindness, wit, and skill at explaining dental procedures endeared him to his patients, and many traveled long distances to see him after leaving the neighborhood. He practiced in Riverdale for over 30 years, and retired in 1993.

Maurice had an extraordinary ear for languages and accents, impeccable timing, and a comic sensibility all his own. He was the fastest punster in the world, especially loved making bilingual puns, and was known for his huge repertoire of jokes and comic stories, which he told frequently.

An Orthodox Jew walks into a cafeteria and points to a dish he wants.

The man at the counter asks, "You mean the roast pork, sir?"

"Did I ASK you to tell me what it's called?"

He read widely and deeply, lived a life of the mind and spirit, and went through each day with a sense of curiosity and wonder. He recorded his musings, dreams, questions, puns and poems on hundreds of index cards.

The Moon shines on high

But nobody can see it:

We had prayed for rain

(He wrote the above poem for a haiku contest sponsored by Seattle's Japanese Garden, and won first prize.)

Maurice never separated the spiritual and the comic:

Where is Moshiach?

I have been waiting for Him

But He does not come.

sunlight shining

Through red autumn leaves

So What! No Photosynthesis

In his later years he wrote a humor column for the newsletter of his apartment building. It was called "Maurice's Dictionary" and included entries like these

SCENTIMETER - A device for measuring aromas

VULTURE CAPITALIST - An entrepreneur who has a talon for seizing an opportunity

ROBOTOMY - A drastic cut in the number of automatons at a factory

THIEF EXECUTIVE - The CEO who decides that Honesty may not be the Best Policy

THE BOTTOM LIE - The Quarterly Profits figure in the Report to Shareholders

CHANTS OF SNOW - A weather forecast presented by a choral singing group

DOCTREPRENEUR - A physician who takes his patients, seriously.

HALLELUCINATION - A praiseworthy delusion

WING-WING SITUATION - Congressional legislation co-sponsored by right-wing Republicans and left-wing Democrats

He prided himself on having a flexible mind and loved learning of all kinds and talking to people of all kinds. And he appreciated the beauty of mathematics. He often quoted Ramanujan: "Numbers are my friends."

He was forever optimistic in matters personal and political. He told his children there was no pressure to choose a conventional career - they could be something "that hadn't been invented yet." He spent many evenings composing a letter to President Johnson that proposed a way for the US to withdraw from the Vietnam War. He disliked insurance companies and, near the end of his career, canceled his malpractice insurance. In recent years, he was certain that impeachment proceedings, and later the House January 6 Committee, would bring an end to the Trump nightmare.

Maurice and Zipporah spent much of their retirement with their grandchildren Rebecca and Laura in Seattle, and Jonah and Jeremy in San Francisco. Maurice relished his role walking his grandchildren to school, telling them jokes and stories, and sharing his wisdom. And he continued writing short comic items-including this report on an appointment following cataract surgery:

The eye surgeon came in, removed my eye bandage, and gazed satisfyingly at the results of his handiwork. He gave us a little, blue zippered kit which contained two little dispensers of ophthalmic solution, instructions, a spare eye shield and tape, and dark glasses and a Tin Cup, in case the treatment failed.

In 2017 Maurice and Zipporah moved permanently to Seattle, where Maurice made new friends with neighbors, letter carriers and bus drivers. Many people shared their fondness for the couple as they watched them walk together. One day in the Japanese Garden, a young couple they didn't know came up to them and said they had just gotten engaged and found Maurice and Zipporah inspiring. They asked for their blessing.

Maurice and Zipporah were kindred spirits, lovers of words, books, theater, music. They laughed and hugged frequently. They were married for 72 years, loved each other deeply and spread that love to everyone they encountered.

Maurice will be missed by many, including Zipporah, his children Janet (Eddie Munoz), Charlie (Myra Levy), and his grandchildren Becca Varon (Sam Blau), Jonah Varon (Antonia Acquistapace), Laura Munoz and Jeremy Varon.

In lieu of flowers or baked goods, donations in Maurice's memory may be made to Northwest Immigrant Rights Project, nwirp.org.