Pamela Durkin Pooley

Pamela Durkin Pooley was born on May 28, 1956 in Boston, MA. Her parents, Dr. Harry A Durkin and Thelma (Pixie) Durkin lived in Norfolk, MA. Pamela's older brother, Harry A. Durkin III lives in Corpus Christi, TX and her sister, Penny Durkin Caskey lives in Houston, TX with her husband, Mark. Her older brother, Christopher died at the age of 39 while living in Key West, FL. After a few years in Norfolk the Durkin family relocated to Wellesley, MA where they lived in a wonderful house at 123 Abbott Road. Pamela went through the Wellesley public school system and has many lifelong friends from growing up in Wellesley. In high school Pamela played field hockey and lacrosse. She was a good athlete and loved sports. Her teammates called her "Durk" and many are still friends. With her hair tied in braids Pamela used to run through the streets of Wellesley, to school, to practice, and then home at the end of the day. While she was in high school I met Pamela on Thanksgiving Day in 1971. Pamela's older brother Harry and my brother, JP met at Utica College. JP invited me along to meet his college buddy and Pamela was in the kitchen at 123 Abbott Road. A spark went off and a love affair started. After high school Pamela traveled up to North Conway, NH where she lived and worked in the ski country. One of the strongest qualities of Pamela was in making friends. Her friends became lifelong friends and somehow being away from them for years or living in a different place never diminished the strength of her love and the bonds of her friends. People who became her friends were there for life and she tried to reach out to them over the years working hard to stay in touch and keep the bond of friendship and love as fresh and when she first met everyone. In North Conway Pamela worked at the Hearthstone restaurant where Ron & Loretta actually hired the wrong Pamela and offered her the job over the telephone. While they realized their mistake, the job offer was tendered and Pamela loved working with Ron and Loretta Alden making flambé dishes tableside at night and serving the great food that Ron cooked. She skied with everyone and loved being up in the valley. During the summer Pamela found her way down to Martha's Vineyard where she found a job at the Quarterdeck right on the waterfront in Edgartown, MA. Pamela lived in the A frame house on Pine Street, a short walk to Edgartown Center with Annie and Suzie (Q). She rode her bike and enjoyed great times on South Beach as well as in the night life in Edgartown during the summer season. That was the summer that the movie, Jaws was filmed on the island. Pamela met many of the stars of the movie as well as the supporting cast and crews for filming and logistics. They all ate at the Quarterdeck, famous for great burgers and fried clams on a regular basis and Pamela learned each person's favorite dish so that she could start making it before they even ordered. In 1976, the Durkin family pulled up their roots from Wellesley and moved to Corpus Christi, TX where Dr. Durkin practiced psychiatry at several of the local hospitals. Pamela and her sister Penny moved to Texas with the family where Pamela stood out as a "Yankee" who was not afraid to speak her mind. She attended classes at a local community college while working at a neat little restaurant called the Ancient Mariner. Serving excellent food, meeting people, and making sure that everyone had a good time were traits that Pamela learned from her work in the restaurant business. This served her well in generating great tips but also helped to define her as a person who was always outgoing and willing to reach out to talk with anyone, anywhere, at any time. Throughout her life, Pamela served huge meals to family and friends. These meals were a trademark of her ability to run a kitchen, create a festive environment, and make everyone welcome anywhere. Pamela went to Key West, FL with JP, Dennis Perry and several of our friends where she worked in a Perkins "Cakes & Steaks" pancake house. She loved life in the Keys enjoying sunsets at Mallory Square every night and days at Smather's Beach playing volleyball or working on her tan. She brought a gorgeous red dress with her to Key West that was her trademark outfit. At first, Pamela camped out with a group on the island of Boca Chica Key until the Monroe County Sheriffs told the group to be out by 9:00am the following morning. I was in Key West at the time, and with no money in our pockets, Pamela's brother, Christopher and I set out to find a place for the group to live in Key West during the peak winter season. Somehow we found an old shrimp boat in the harbor. This boat, the Anton, was in the harbor for repairs and provided a base of operations for the group for several months at no charge! Like North Conway, NH and Martha's Vineyard, Key West became a special place for Pamela and one where she would return to for the remainder of her life. These resort areas held so many special memories for Pamela that she relived with her family over the years during visits and vacations. After Key West Pamela returned to Corpus Christi to live with her parents and took some courses while working at the Ancient Mariner. While spending a few days together in Corpus Christi on my way back to Martha's Vineyard after a winter skiing in Vail, Colorado our romance rekindled. Pamela accepted my invitation to come to the island and traveled up to live with me in a small house on Chappaquiddick Island near Edgartown. In exchange for some work on the house we lived there rent free. This was a special house, the childhood home of Foster Silva, the trustee of reservations on Chappy. His family home created many great memories for Pamela and me that summer. Pamela waitressed at the Harborside Inn which was one of the best places to eat on the island and offered a commanding view of Edgartown Harbor. It was a great place to work with over 100 people on the staff. Pamela made friends with everyone. Many of her friends from the Harborside are lifelong friends who Pamela continued to see long after we left the island. While on the island Pamela enjoyed going to the beaches, dining at wonderful restaurants, having drinks & dancing with friends after work, and the camaraderie that comes from the hard work and fun life in a resort community. At night after working double shifts at the Harborside Inn waiting tables Pamela and I were called "the Pumpkin People" because we had to catch the last ferry across the harbor to get home to our house on Chappy at night. We ran from the bars and would rush to catch the last ferry across the harbor from Edgartown at midnight. Then we would bathe in water that we left in large plastic bags which heated up in the summer sun. Following the summer on Martha's Vineyard we moved up to North Conway, NH where we lived with Kathy Johnson (KT) and her friend Annie in a little red house behind the Scottish Lion and the Carriage Inn just off route 16 & 302, about 2 miles from the center of North Conway. We spent a fun winter skiing and enjoying life in the North Country living paycheck to paycheck in another awesome resort community. When the spring ended the ski season, Pamela and I went back to Martha's Vineyard to open up the Harborside restaurant for the season. We found a beautiful house in Oak Bluffs with 2 bedrooms which we shared with Pamela's brother, Christopher. This life of skiing in the winter and going to Martha's Vineyard for the summers was something that Pamela loved. Who wouldn't? Each season she got to enjoy the beauty of some the best vacationing spots in the East while working in high quality restaurants. Many of the staff from the Harborside remain close friends who have been part of Pamela's life ever since her days in the restaurant world. In 1978 Pamela and I moved to a small house on Wilson Street in Wellesley, MA. We shared the house with Margaret Hobbing for the first year of my MBA program at Babson College. When Margaret moved out, our dear friends, Chrissy & Chuck (Rudi) Allen moved into the house when Chuck joined the MBA program at Babson. Pamela attended the Blaine School of hairdressing in Boston while I attended Babson. Our life in Wellesley was simple yet, punctuated by great events including big parties that became annual events like the Beer Fest for the Needham High School class of 1971 and even a few incredible scavenger hunts that we called the Rude Road Rallies. These road rallies took an incredible amount of planning but provided great memories for everyone who participated and always ended with a huge dinner and party back at our tiny little house in Wellesley. Somewhere during the end of my time at Babson, I realized that I was going to graduate and hopefully find a job outside of the restaurant business. That seemed like the right time so I asked Pamela to marry me. My tactics at being romantic were sadly lacking at the time and this 'proposal' was something that Pamela teased me about for the rest of her life. In some ways that was a good lesson for me and one of many things that I learned from Pamela as I spent the rest of my years with her trying to make up for my fumbling marriage proposal. We got married at the Episcopal Church in Needham on May 23, 1981 surrounded by friends and family. Pamela looked radiant in her wedding dress. Our reception was held at Knight Auditorium at Babson College which was the perfect venue for our large crowd. A highlight of the wedding was that we got the Herb Pomeroy Orchestra to play for our reception. Herb was a friend of Dr. Durkin and after we saw him play a concert in Boston we knew that he was going to make the event a special day. We danced to the wonderful jazz of Herb's orchestra who played an extra hour just to keep the crowd happy. After the wedding we took the ferry for our a honeymoon on Nantucket where we stayed at the Jared Coffin House. Somehow we also made it over to Martha's Vineyard during our honeymoon because all of the Durkin family vacationed there after the wedding and Pamela wanted to be with them in Edgartown. That was a wonderful time for Pamela and for me. We started our married life in the little house in Wellesley on Wilson Street. At the same time we both started our careers. Soon after our marriage we were blessed with the birth of our first child. We named her Trinity a name we love for many reasons including one of our favorite books by Leon Uris. Actually, the name came to us while driving to a Bonnie Raitt concert in Western Massachusetts when Pamela was 7-8 months pregnant. While talking about possible names for a baby we drove past the Trinity Emmanuel Church. We both saw the sign at the same time and said, "Trinity! What a great name". At that moment we knew we were going to have a little girl and would name her Trinity. Our family life started in Wellesley where Pamela was patient in teaching me how to be a father, change diapers, and do all of the little things that make being a father such a special part of life. Somehow we managed to save some money and decided that we needed more space so we started house hunting in the greater Boston area. After weeks of searching, we found a house in Sharon, MA that felt perfect for what we hoped would be a growing family. Pamela and I bought our first home at 631 Main Street. Pamela stopped hairdressing to become a full time Mom. This was a major decision in Pamela's life. She knew and believed with all her heart that being a Mom is one of the most rewarding jobs in this world. Pamela worked hard to be a wonderful mother and wife. As we used to joke, for stay at home mom's the pay is lousy, the hours are long and the benefits are awesome. Ashley Ussher Pooley joined our family on August 29th, 1984. These 2 little girls filled our house with laughter and joy in Sharon. Just like every other place that Pamela lived, she made lots of friends in Sharon while staying close to her friends from high school and from her years of living in North Conway, Key West, and Edgartown. Sharon was a lovely town and we enjoyed living across the street from Ward's Berry Farm where we picked fresh berries every summer and bought fresh produce almost daily. Pamela led the effort to plant a garden in the backyard where we grew all kinds of vegetables including some gorgeous eggplants and even potatoes. Her Irish heritage was fulfilled as we enjoyed fresh potatoes for many meals that summer. Pamela had lots of friends living around Boston and wanted to move a bit closer to the Wellesley & Needham area. We looked at scores of homes before selecting a small Cape on Spring Road in Needham. The house was small yet, Pamela could see possibilities in the house and had plans for updates, decorating, and changes before we ever moved into the house. Trinity & Ashley lived upstairs in their own bedrooms while we slept on the first floor. We put a big swing in the backyard and built a fence so that the kids could play in the yard and stay safe. Unlike our house in Sharon which was on a major road, the house in Needham was on a quiet side street. Pamela went to work updating each room in the house, adding pictures, wallpaper, new furniture, and 'encouraging' me to paint while directing all of the projects. In 1988, we were blessed with our 3rd child. Chris Pooley was born on September 23rd at the Newton Wellesley Hospital where all of our kids were born. After 2 girls, we were not expecting a boy did not have a boy's name when this 10 pound 8 oz baby boy came into our lives. While talking about names at the hospital, Pamela looked at me and said, "I have always liked the name Christopher". I guess I am partial to that name as well and Christopher Gerrans Pooley joined our little family. We lived on Spring Road in Needham for another year and a half. Pamela was incredibly busy driving the kids to ballet lessons, swimming (she insisted that the kids learn to swim) and all sorts of other activities. We loved being in Needham and were surrounded by friends and family making our life rich and rewarding with our 3 children. After a lucrative job offer got us to move to Ann Arbor, MI we packed up and moved our family to Michigan. Before leaving we threw a massive party with a tent, catered food, music, dancing, and invited everyone we knew to come over and celebrate. That was one of the best parties Pamela ever threw and we danced into the wee hours with friends from throughout Pamela's life joining us to say goodbye and wish us luck in Michigan. Moving to Ann Arbor was an education for Pamela and for me. While it is a wonderful and diverse community, something was missing. We rented a home and started the girls in the Dicken School a short walk down the street. It was at that point in her life that Pamela and I realized that our home was in the Boston area. Michigan was a great spot and my job was excellent but we were never really at home. We secretly plotted together to create a plan for moving back to the Boston area. My old company, SilverPlatter invited me to return after my 1 year exit and that created the foundation we needed. Pamela and I returned to Needham and Wellesley for a house hunting weekend with our real estate agent, Norma Kamar. We looked at over 20 homes in Needham & Wellesley. One house at 221 South Street in Needham caught our fancy. Like every house there were some issues. The kitchen was small and it was out of our price range. Since we both love to cook and putting out big meals for our family and friends was such an important part of our lives, Pamela insisted that we return to the house to "test" the kitchen. Norma laughed while the two of us pretended to prepare a meal, walking around where we would cut food, prepared dishes, use the oven and stove top just as we do when we are in action in the kitchen. While small, the kitchen worked for us and we decided to buy the house. We didn't tell anyone for several weeks until a wedding with many of our Needham friends down in Pennsylvania. We traveled to the wedding filled with excitement to see our friends. While enjoying a bottle of champagne Pamela announced that we bought a home. Allison Perry said "yah right, where in Needham?" That was a shock and then Pamela told everyone that we did in fact buy a house in Needham and we were returning home. We told Trinity, Ashley, and Chris when we got back to Ann Arbor. They were thrilled and couldn't wait to move. Like their parents, the kids all had many friends back in Needham and were excited to be moving home. At the same time, we were all sad to leave our new friends in Ann Arbor especially Leslie, Erin, and their mother, Marsha who lived across the street and became important parts of our Ann Arbor life. Pamela insisted that we move the kids as soon as possible. We pulled them out of school and brought them back to Needham where they finished up the school year at the Broadmeadow School. That was April 15, 1991. We have been in this house since that time and it has brought us great joy over the years. Our house is a large structure that Pamela turned into welcoming home for friends and family. As usual, Pamela led the planning for improvements, furniture, pictures, and upgrades with attention to every detail. I know that if the design and planning were left up to me that we would have still been living with milk crates and hand me down furniture. Pamela had an eye for fashion and design. She was always on the lookout for a new knickknack or something that might improve or enhance our home. Each day was a surprise for me as new pieces of furniture "appeared" and somehow just fit into our world exactly as Pamela planned creating a warm environment that was always filled with friends. There were also projects for the future that filled our basement, garage, and the little house in the backyard. These included pieces of furniture from the Needham dump and many other fix-it items or abandoned projects that just needed a little of Pamela's love along with some time and money. Cooking was a specialty for Pamela. She loved being in the kitchen. Over the years she put out 100's of large meals for 15-20 or even more people. Somehow the food always came out right, the timing perfect, with plenty of food for everyone. Pamela was a master at entertaining. No matter how many people showed up for a meal there was always enough food and Pamela made sure that there were place settings for everyone. It didn't matter if there were 5 people or 25; Pamela's grace and warmth as a hostess made everyone feel like they were the guest of honor. During summers, our family vacationed at the old Pooley family home on the Canadian shore of Lake Erie about 8-10 miles from the Peace Bridge in Buffalo, NY. We rented the house for the month of August each year. Pamela and the kids would stay for the whole month while I flew in and out depending upon my work schedule and vacation days. Pamela ran the vacation house to make life fun. Every day the kids were on the beach playing in the water, taking long walks, finding beach glass, playing tennis, and having fun playing in Thunder Bay a place that will always be special for our family. Some of Pamela's ashes will grace that beach the next time we are there with our family. The beach house had plenty of bedrooms which were always filled with family and friends. The Allen's came to Canada with us every year and were part of many great memories. Many of our friends remember the great times in Thunder Bay where we cooked meals for 25-30 people served out on the screened porch where 2-3 tables were placed together so that everyone could sit down together for the meal. Over the years Pamela hosted so many great milestone parties for the Pooley family that included birthdays for my father, John Pooley on his 70th birthday and 75th, my uncle Monty's 75th, the kids birthdays and so many other wonderful events. Our kids all have birthdays close to August with Ashley on the 29th and Chris and Trinity on September 23rd & 30th. To celebrate so many birthdays Pamela created the "birthday tree". This was a play on Christmas where we decorated a tree behind the house with balloons and birthday presents. There was always a present for every child no matter whose birthday we were celebrating. After a family dinner on the porch we all moved outside to the birthday tree to open presents with Bert, Sue, Brendon, and Clare Sweeney, my cousins, Kenny & Bill, Maureen, and lots of our friends and family who joined us in Thunder Bay. Pamela learned to play golf and fell in love with the game. We spent many wonderful hours on golf courses all over the US but some of our best memories were in Thunder Bay playing at the 9 hole Thunder Bay course. I remember driving down the road while Pamela and Chrissy were out playing together one day. They were jumping up and down yelling so I pulled over to see what was happening. Pamela made her first birdie on the 3rd hole and was ecstatic. That was a wonderful moment for her and a milestone in her golf career. Back in Needham she joined the Women's group at Glen Ellen Country Club where she played weekly matches with Patty Brady and the other ladies. These were some of the highlights of Pamela's golfing career and these ladies all knew how to have a fun time on & off of the golf course. Education was important for Pamela and she was an intense advocate for each of our children in finding the right environment for them to learn. Her sensitivity and ability to see and understand our children's feelings made a huge difference. When Ashley and Chris had difficulties in the Needham Public Schools, Pamela searched for alternatives while working with the Needham School faculty and staff to advocate for her kids. Pamela encouraged Ashley to attend the Rivers School in Weston, MA and was there to drive her to and from school every day. She did the same thing for Chris who attended the Carroll School in Lincoln, MA where Chris found happiness and an environment that enabled him to learn and achieve his potential. Pamela drove the car pool up to the Carroll School and developed important relationships with each child in the group gaining knowledge of each of them as a person and crafting individual Christmas presents for them every year. After Chris left the Carroll School he moved to a school in Brookline where he was miserable. Pamela was the first to sense his anger and frustration. She tried to make things work and when they didn't and Chris was still unhappy Pamela found Chapel Hill Chauncey Hall and literally forced a mid-school year transfer so that Chris would not have 1 more day in a place where he was unhappy and did not feel welcome. Through all of the up and downs of college life with changing schools, majors, boyfriends and so much more Pamela stayed in tune with Trinity and Ashley during their college careers. She made regular visits to see them and our home was always open to welcome their friends. Pamela never wanted anyone to be alone on Thanksgiving or Christmas so our children knew they could invite any of their friends who might be away from home to join our family. When Chris graduated from high school Pamela, was unable to attend the ceremony due to her health issues. Our friend Jeff Hulton set up a video feed so that Pamela could watch with pride as Chris Pooley graduated with his classmates. She would not have done it any other way. Then Chris went off to college in NY and did not like the program at Manhattanville College. He pleaded to go to a Music Production Program at the Full Sail University in Orlando, FL. I was not convinced that Chris could succeed in this program while living on his own so far away from home. Pamela pushed hard for the possibility of Chris attending Full Sail. After an orientation visit to Full Sail combined with the force of Pamela's will confronting me at every turn, I relented and Chris went to Full Sail University. Chris loved the program and received an associate's degree after completing a grueling program that went for 12 consecutive months. There is no way he would have ever enrolled in that program without the support, passion and advocacy of Pamela who somehow knew what was best for her son. In 2004 Pamela was diagnosed with breast cancer. That was a jolt to our family yet everyone rose up to help Pamela in this fight. The kids made a 'chemo kit' using a pink backpack that was filled with toys, books, playing cards, games, water, anti-nausea medicine, and so much more. On the first day of chemo our whole family joined Pamela at the clinic on Walnut Street in Wellesley, MA for treatment. We were so loud and brought a picnic lunch so the staff finally sequestered us in a small private room. The chemotherapy continued for 6 treatments followed by daily radiation at Mass General Hospital for 6 weeks. Throughout the treatments, Pamela demonstrated strength and sense of purpose that was admired by all of the medical staff. Instead of waiting for her hair to fall out, she grabbed a pair of scissors and cut her hair rather than wait to be victimized by the side effects of the chemotherapy. She took control of her own destiny wherever she could. Over time Pamela's hair grew back quickly and she recovered from the ravages of chemotherapy and radiation therapy. Her life went back to normal and soon she was enjoying golf again and our family vacation in Thunder Bay was just like we always remembered. We celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with a spectacular surprise party that was planned by our children. Pamela and I walked into the ballroom at the Sheraton in Newton Corner and were totally overwhelmed by the huge crowd of our friends who joined us to celebrate. Our favorite local band, The Swinging Steaks played music while everyone danced. There was a DVD that the kids and Michael Coughlan, Ashley's fiancée put together containing pictures from our lives with some truly touching music that was a highlight of the party. Pamela and I watched that DVD a few days before she left us and it still brought tears to our eyes remembering that wonderful night and the love of our friends & family. In the last few months of 2006 bruises started appearing on Pamela's arms & legs at random. Despite the suggestions from friends to see a doctor, Pamela wanted to wait until after Christmas. She poured herself into the holidays as always and served up a magnificent dinner for the whole Pooley family featuring a rib roast with béarnaise, curry & horseradish sauces. They were Pamela's trademark dishes. Even with a splitting headache she decorated the table with elegant place settings. Even the ceiling was decorated with hanging snowflakes. For Pamela, each Christmas needed a theme and in 2006 it was snowflakes and there were snowflakes everywhere. Somehow Pamela made it through dinner before retiring to bed with a migraine headache. The following day I took her to an urgent care facility in Waltham. After some blood tests, a young doctor came into Pamela's room and informed us that Pamela had leukemia, a blood cancer. We were shocked. Life turned into a blur as I rushed Pamela to the emergency room at Newton Wellesley Hospital and an ambulance transported her to the Dana Farber Cancer Institute in Boston where she went right into the ICU. In addition to the leukemia diagnosis, Pamela's brain was bleeding. The kids and I were terrified and spent long hours at her bedside watching a single nurse dedicated to Pamela's care. The doctors thought she might not make it out of the ICU and after almost 10 days Pamela was finally released into a bed on one of the cancer floors. Our lives changed. Since that diagnosis our family has been united in our efforts to keep Pamela healthy and alive. It turned out that the cancer was "treatment related". That means that Pamela got leukemia because of an adverse side effect from one of the chemotherapy drugs that affect only a small percentage of patients. Her oncology team for the breast cancer was devastated. Pamela never blamed anyone and fought though months in the hospital before she received a bone marrow transplant on May 3, 2006. That day is Pamela's second birthday. Before the transplant, Pamela received intense doses of chemotherapy that killed her bone marrow cells to prepare her for the surgery. Once again she took a pair of scissors to her hair and cut it off before it could fall out. The room at DFCI was the most decorated room in the hospital. Each wall was covered with cards and letters of support for Pamela. "Cakes" our main nurse became a friend. Pamela survived the transplant regaining her health and strength so that she could come home to our home in Needham. Before she came home and with only 36 hours of notice a team of friends volunteered to help us get the house ready for Pamela's return. Every dish, utensil, product, and piece of furniture or cookware was either thrown away or cleaned in an effort that was truly amazing. Once again, Pamela's fight and will to live pulled her through. Supported by Trinity, Ashley, Chris, and myself she regained her strength. There were repeated trips to DFCI for follow up blood work, tests, and drug changes. Through them all Pamela maintained her sense of humor and often commented after leaving DFCI and seeing other patients that "perhaps we are the lucky ones". Many times she had to wear gloves & a surgical mask to go out in public yet, her spirit never wavered. Months later Pamela had problems with her eyes. Every time she blinked her eyes were scratched by small irritations on the inside of her eyelids. The problems with Pamela's eyelids were our introduction to Graft vs. Host Disease (GVD) which occurs when your body rejects donor cells. Unfortunately it is very common for bone marrow transplant patients. Over the years, Pamela suffered from chronic GVD which caused problems with her heart, lungs, immune system, and every major organ in her body. The main drug to fight GVD is prednisone, a steroid that works miracles while also causing severe side effects. For Pamela these side effects included a diabetic reaction that required daily shots of insulin to keep her blood sugar levels safe. At first we alternated taping one of Pamela's eyes shut to give each eye a rest. Somehow Pamela found The Boston Foundation for Sight, an organization in Needham that was doing a clinical trial for schleral lenses. These lenses were developed for soldiers who witnessed massive explosions that burned their eyes. The lenses are designed to keep moisture on the eye. When the optometrist put the schleral lenses on Pamela for the first time she begged her not to take them off. They needed fitting and minor adjustments so it was another day or two before Pamela got her own schleral lenses. In so many ways the Boston Foundation for Sight gave the blessing of sight back to Pamela. She wore the lenses religiously and when her hands were shaking too much to put them in each morning & take them out at night one of our family were always there to help her no matter if she was at home or in a hospital bed. Pamela always thought that these schleral lenses were the most important part of any treatment because they enabled her to see. In memory of Pamela we are asking people to forego flowers and make donations in Pamela Pooley's name to: Boston Foundation for Sight 464 Hillside Avenue Needham, MA 02494 http://www.bostonsight.org Visits to DFCI became more frequent as GVD continued to present itself in Pamela's body. She loved the team of valets at DFCI becoming friendly with each one of them. They in turn provided her special service that was rewarded with great tips. The prednisone caused her knee joint to crumble and in January, 2010 Pamela had knee replacement surgery. She handled the physical therapy with the same enthusiasm and inner strength she showed against breast cancer, leukemia, and during the bone marrow transplant. More side effects from the prednisone caused small cuts or blisters to become large open wounds or ulcers. All our efforts to keep them bandaged combined with the services of wound specialists could not make these wounds heal. GVD caused Pamela to get osteoporosis which attacked the vertebrae in Pamela's back causing compression fractures. Several of these were repaired through a kyphoplasty surgical procedure. The compression fractures were incredibly painful and made it difficult for Pamela to find a way to sit or even lie in bed comfortably. Blood clots appeared in her legs forcing Pamela to take blood thinning drugs including shots of Lovenox which were administered into her belly which could be excruciatingly painful. During 2012, Pamela was admitted into different hospitals over 10 times. Our family started calling the Emergency Room at Newton Wellesley Hospital "Cheers". The doctors and nurses ALL knew Pamela's name and they saw her courage and strength in fighting an increasing number of health issues that never seemed to go away. Skin infections on Pamela's legs made our family trip to Thunder Bay in July, 2012 impossible. Pamela was irate and practically ordered the rest of the family to leave her in the hospital so that we could go on vacation. Trinity, who was the main caregiver for Pamela managed to sneak away to Thunder Bay with a friend for 3-4 days while I stayed with Pamela. If anyone deserved a vacation it was Trinity because she was a true caregiver for her Mom. Trinity was always there to care for Pamela, take her to appointments, manage the myriad of medicines with ever-changing doses, advocate with her doctors, and be there almost every waking moment. This motivated Trinity to become a nurse and she is enrolled in the program at Simmons College. Occasionally, over the years Pamela used a walker or a cane to provide her with stability. Slowly the occasional use of a walker or cane turned into a regular thing. Pamela still fought her way upstairs to our bedroom on the 2nd floor refusing to give up and move to the 1st floor of our home. Pamela was a warrior who fought hard every day to regain her mobility, her health, and the life that she wanted to live. On October 2nd Pamela fell in our bedroom while trying to fill a water dish for our dogs. She hit her head on a chair and lay in a heap until the ambulance came to take her back to "Cheers". Pamela needed emergency surgery for a broken hip that required 3 screws to repair. She spent 2 weeks in the hospital where all of her doctors and nurses from the different departments visited her regularly. They took an active role in her treatment and care occasionally overriding the decisions of the medical team or challenging assumptions to make certain that no stone was left unturned for Pamela's health, safety, and comfort. When Pamela was released from the hospital she spent over 3 weeks in a rehabilitation facility where she had rigorous rehab every day. Her trainer, John developed a special love for Pamela and she craved his acknowledgment as he continuously pushed her to do 1 more trek across the room or another set of exercises. Finally Pamela came home from rehab. She was in a wheelchair. She knew about the 2 steps that she would have to climb to get into our kitchen from the driveway. and her PT focused on helping her to get up those 2 steps. Pamela made it up those 2 steps on her first try. At home, Pamela finally relented and moved to the first floor where we put in a new television to provide some entertainment. She used her computer regularly and made all sorts of purchases from her favorite sites like QVC & HSN buying Christmas presents for the long list of names on her gift list. These were some of the most difficult days in Pamela's life as she struggled to make it into the kitchen so that she could participate in food preparation and sit with the family at the dinner table at night instead of eating in bed. Eating became difficult for Pamela because GVD caused nasty sores to attack her mouth and gums. During 2012 over 15 of her teeth either fell out or were pulled by the dentist. We cried over each tooth and then each night the tooth fairy left an envelope with a note and some money for Pamela. That created some levity in a difficult situation and Pamela put all of the tooth fairy money with the $5 bills she collected. We found all of these bills wrapped up with rubber bands in Pamela's drawers with some of the notes from the tooth fairy. Pamela's advancement from the PT was slow and she gradually got comfortable around the house. She could get in and out of bed, wheel herself into the kitchen, prepare food, feed the dogs, and she tried to make things as normal as possible. On Sunday, December 9th she went to open the door to let the dogs out. While reaching for a cane she took a horrible fall. Despite telling her 100's of times to ask for help, Pamela wanted to contribute and do this on her own. Chris, Ashley Lincoln, and Trinity heard her scream and were at her side in seconds. They called 911 for the ambulance to take Pamela back to Cheers. In the ER, the doctors took x-rays and decided that Pamela should be transferred to Mass General Hospital. That was a surprise for all of our family. At MGH they waited for one day so that he blood thinner would not make her bleed too easily before taking her for emergency surgery on both hips. The plan was to insert metal pipes to support her hips or replace them if the bone tissue was too soft. I was with her before the surgery and Pamela was talking about her plans for Christmas and the gifts that she wanted to get for each of our 3 children. When the orderlies came to transport Pamela down to the surgical suite I walked down with her until they told me I could not go any further. I bent down to give her a hug and a kiss and she whispered into my ear, "Make sure you take care of my babies". That seemed odd. This was just another surgery. Several hours later Trinity called to tell me that the surgeons were replacing Pamela's right hip when a massive blood clot pushed into her heart. She suffered a heart attack and the medical team performed CPR for 5-10 minutes and somehow brought Pamela back. They even removed the massive blood clot and between their expertise and Pamela's will to live she made it through the night. Pamela was in the ICU on Wednesday, 12/12/12 where Chris Pooley, Trinity & I spent as much time as possible at her side. At 6:30pm, Ashley arrived at the hospital after flying to Boston from San Francisco, CA. Ashley joined the 3 of us for some family time with Pamela. We lost her at 7:37pm that night. This biography is much longer than it should be. In part that is because Pamela Pooley was an extraordinary person. She loved life and loved her family and friends. There are many people who consider Pamela to be their 2nd mother and know the love and care that Pamela provided to all of her children. While Pamela is finally at peace, we lost our heart & soul on 12/12/12. Visiting hours will be held at the Eaton Funeral Home 1351 Highland Ave Needham on Friday, January 4th from 4:00-7:00pm. A Memorial Service will be held at the Christ Episcopal Church 1132 Highland Ave Needham on Saturday, January 5th at 11:00am. In lieu of flowers, please send donations to the Boston Foundation for Sight, 464 Hillside Avenue, Needham, MA 02494 http://www.bostonsight.org