Allen Wortley

Wortley, Allen

MADISON - Allen Wortley received the usual protracted engineering education and, after exhaustive study of esoteric subjects of no practical value, received a degree from Caltech.

He is a licensed professional engineer and land surveyor, but ever since he learned from Webster's that the initials P.E. are an abbreviation for physical education, probable error, printer's error, price-earnings ratio, pulmonary embolism, Protestant Episcopal, and lastly, professional engineer, he often does not use them after his name. For similar reasons, he doesn't often use L.S., as it stands for U.S. Navy Landing Ship or place of the seal (locus sigilla). However, he uses C. before his name as most people understand it as an abbreviation for a first name, Charles, rather than capacitance, carat, centigrade, cent, century, chapter, circa, city, college, copyright, cycle, or hundredweight.

He left California and moved east to begin working for a living. As a consulting engineer, he inspected old sewer manholes in Pittsburgh. This assignment proved to be very deep but by no means dry.

Later he moved up north, to Wisconsin, where he began to climb the technical professional ladder, working on zero-buoyancy floating boat docks, French garbage grinders, and lawn watering systems for penitentiaries. He outraced scientific obsolescence by achieving appointment as chief engineer of his consulting firm.

Then, instead of working for a living, he became a university professor. He pursued the Peter Principle, earning a professional development degree and becoming Associate Dean for engineering outreach and now Emeritus Professor.

He teaches soil mechanics and foundation engineering and has unearthed the fact that although many people think soil is simply dirt, geotechnical engineers have found it is really bread and butter.

His research has been beautification of water tanks in combination with restaurants, discotheques, and hockey rinks; and ice engineering where he has found that lake water is very cold in the winter and in fact freezes at all temperatures below 32 degrees Fahrenheit.

The most notable accomplishment of Allen Wortley, the holder of 23 certificates of appreciation and of-the-year awards, is receipt of two Who's Who without the purchase of their limited-edition directories.

Professor Wortley boasts the usual affiliations that carry arcane Greek letter and acronym designations in return for the payment of annual dues, as well as membership in societies that present awards and offer cheap life insurance.

His hobby is bimonthly golf outings on rainy days, and although not a scratch golfer, he has been scratched while mastering nearly all the Madison area's 19th holes.

When not teaching, researching, studying, or golfing, he either cuts grass, measures first downs, shovels snow or conducts professional development programs. As program director, his main task is to keep speakers on schedule and avoid running over into social hours.

Allen has been preceded in death by his parents, Cabray Wortley and Janet (Olmsted) Hoyt; and his siblings, Cabray and John Wortley.

He is survived by his loving wife of 65 years, Dale; children, Margot (Jeff) Paro and Caroline Wortley; and his grandson, John Allen Paro.

This obituary was written by Al himself, in good health.

His family will be holding a celebration at a later date.

Please share memories at www.cressfuneralservice.com.

Cress Funeral & Cremation Services

3610 Speedway Road, Madison

(608) 238-3434