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Stephen Thomas Carleton

1959 - 2019

Stephen Thomas Carleton obituary, 1959-2019, South Portland, ME

BORN

1959

DIED

2019

FUNERAL HOME

Hobbs Funeral Home - South Portland

230 Cottage Road

South Portland, Maine

Stephen Carleton Obituary

SOUTH PORTLAND - Stephen Thomas Carleton, 60, left this world on Sept. 12, 2019, at his residence, with the same gutsy, dogged determination and fiery spirit that he entered it with and maintained throughout his life.

He was born in Portland on May 3, 1959, the youngest of four sons of Robert and Joan Carleton. Being the youngest brother, he developed a competitiveness and drive that would sustain him throughout his life and help him through the challenges that were to come.

He attended Portland schools and graduated from Deering High School class of 1978. He developed life-long friendships with a number of classmates.

After high school, he enlisted in the Navy, hoping to become a Navy SEAL. Instead, he was assigned to submarine tender, the USS Frank Cable. Though he was disappointed, he made the best of it, and honored his three-year commitment. He was assigned to the carpentry division where he made wooden fixtures, furniture, and cabinets for the ships including the captain's and officers' quarters. His passion for woodworking persisted to the end. The majority of his Navy time was spent in the ports of Norfolk, Virginia, Charleston, S.C., and Seattle, Wash., with a brief sojourn in Guadalcanal.

After the Navy, he returned to Maine and began commercial fishing in Casco Bay. He and the crew would be out to sea for days, only to return to sell their catch and then return to the sea. He liked to say they would only come into port to "ice up, grub up, and fuel up." Of course, hitting the working waterfront pubs in Portland, such as Popeye's Ice House and Ruski's Tavern, was part of the routine. He then enrolled in The Landing School of Boat Building and Design in Kennebunk. Financial hardship caused him to leave the school early. On his first day of a new job March 7, 1983, he rode his bicycle to work. On his way home, while crossing the Million Dollar Bridge under icy conditions, he lost control of his bike, was struck from behind by a vehicle, and suffered a spinal cord injury. He completed months of rehabilitation at Maine Medical Center, attended by wonderful and caring rehabilitation staff. He would remain reliant on a wheelchair for mobility for the rest of his life.

Yet, he was determined that limitations from his injury would not define his life. Rather, it presented opportunities and challenges to explore. After a short period of disability, he became gainfully employed at the US Postal Service in Portland, where he continued working for twenty-odd years.

Steve was an accomplished wheelchair racer for years, among the top tier in the country for a time. He completed the Boston Marathon multiple times as well as a number of other marathons and shorter races across the country. After mastering one endeavor he moved on to new challenges. His pursuits included cruising with a recumbent hand-cycle, competing in triathlons, participating in adaptive downhill skiing, solo kayaking and camping, ten-pin bowling, and most recently competitive trap and skeet shooting. He was a regular presence Easy Day Bowling and more recently at the Scarborough Fish and Game Association. He enjoyed much comradery and formed enduring friendships along the way.

Steve was well-known for his quick wit, goofy jokes, and zany character. He maintained a boyish smile, dimpled cheeks, and a full mane of auburn-red hair well into older age. Although he was popular with the ladies, he never married and had no children. He preferred to remain unencumbered to pursue and perfect his many interests.

Winters were hard for Steve due to the snow, ice, and cold limiting his mobility. Twice he went on a "road trip" to Seattle, intending to take up permanent residence there. But, his love for Maine, his family, and friends drew him back each time, despite the winter weather.

Soon after his injury, Steve made a vow that he would never accept what he perceived as an invalid status, requiring excessive dependence on others to live his life. He was quite open and honest that when it came to that point, his life would end on his terms. He had been in failing health recently, and, true to his word, he intentionally ended his life on Sept. 12, 2019, crossing the finish line of this world and ready to explore what challenges lie before for him in the afterlife.

He was predeceased by his father, Robert Carleton; grandparents; an aunt, and two uncles. He is survived by his mother, Joan Carleton; brothers, Michael, Mark, and Peter Carleton and Matthew LaRiviere; as well as his uncle, aunts, and cousins in Maine, North Carolina, and California. He will be missed by his life-long fiends Mark Morris, Jeff Nordstrom, and Mark Poirier, as well as the late Rick Thayer, and many other friends including his current companions at the Scarborough Fish and Game Association.

Per his wishes, there will be no formal memorial service. In keeping with his spirit, his ashes will be dispersed by family and friends at sea on a later date.

In lieu of flowers, kindly consider donations in his name to Maine Adaptive Sports and Recreation, maineadaptive.org

To plant trees in memory, please visit the Sympathy Store.

Published by Portland Press Herald/Maine Sunday Telegram on Sep. 29, 2019.

Memories and Condolences
for Stephen Carleton

Not sure what to say?





Peter Jensen

October 7, 2023

I was unaware of Steve's passing. I was a friend introduced to Steve by Ricky Thayer. Steve was a great person, sometimes stubborn if you tried to help. I went to my first computer show with him in the 90s. I had been interested in PCs since someone gave me one in 1994. Steve showed my the ropes and taught me about building a computer. He picked out the parts for me at that show and from then on it changed my life learning to build and troubleshoot computers. I lost touch with Steve in later years but he was always in my heart. We lost Ricky in 2015 who was a close friend and now learning of Steve's passing is a hard reality. I have wonderful memories with Steve which I hold dearly. My condolences to the surviving family.

Laurel Harding

August 15, 2020

Im so very sorry to hear this news and for your loss. Steve and i wrote letters while he was in the Navy. He was such a good guy.

October 16, 2019

I just had to write a little note in here for Steve. As a student nurse Steve was one of my patients at MMC just after his injury. He was in rehab at that point. I have always remembered him and through the years wondered what happened to him, how he went on with his life given his devastating injury. We played cribbage during my "clinical" hours with him and we had fun. I thought he was sweet and really cute! I am happy that he had a good life despite his obstacles. I hope he is in an even happier place now. JB, RN

USS Frank Cable crew.

October 6, 2019

Patriot Unity

October 3, 2019

Carleton Rivalry

October 3, 2019

Jan

October 3, 2019

You were and are loved. Be at peace.

Ryan LaPierre

October 3, 2019

He was one of the good guys

Sue Conley

October 2, 2019

To Steve's family and friends, So very sorry for your loss....
I worked at MMC when Steve arrived on rehabilitation R4.
Was he angry,? You better believe it!! A young, strong willed, handsome guy, with a major new adjustment to life, I still remember the day I walked into his room on R4 and he had squirt guns and soaked me!! Yes, that was his humor:)
Later working at USPS who comes rolling by but Steve.
Really great guy! Worked with Steve till he retired. We laughed together, probably argued about something, maybe talked about some people.. He certainly was an encouragement to all despite his disability! God rest his soul✝

fayralyn davis

October 1, 2019

Steve is one of the rare folks that you meet and never forget...actually every time I have thought of him over the many years since we ceased being coworkers his memory made me smile..while at the post office we sometimes worked together and he encouraged me to bid on the homes built by the students at SMCC as he had done so... and I did. I am thankful that he taught me things about being grateful for what is and making the best of it all....Heaven will be even more of a joyful place with his arrival...wishing comfort to the family.

Martha Buisman

September 30, 2019

I worked with Steve at the Post Office. He was so much fun to be around. He was always upbeat, positive and just a great guy. He also taught me the word "chowderhead" which I had never heard, being from out-of-state. I will never forget his smile, his voice and his spirit. Always loved ya, buddy

September 30, 2019

We;

Played and fought,
Laughed and cried.
Joked and jaded.
Argued and adored.
Challenged and supported.
Respected and reviled.

Each other.

When it came time, you were my Best Man.

We grew apart, and back together. Apart and back together again.

But we always loved.

I know you are soaring on those new wings.

Til we meet again, Brother.

Peter

September 30, 2019

Marathon Man

Angela Carleton

September 30, 2019

Dear Stephen,
The moment I heard that you were gone, my first thought went to you standing up and walking away with your boyish cute grin. You were completely free. Your feisty spirit here will surely be missed. May you rest in peace.

Jim Morris

September 30, 2019

Mrs. Carleton, Mike, Mark, Peter, family and friends of Steve:

So sorry for your loss.

What a goofball! Steve, Jeff Nordstrum and Rick Thayer spent a great deal of time at our house hanging out with their classmate and fellow goofball my younger brother Mark. They were always laughing, always clowning around. They loved it when I got tough with them when we were teens and, though a couple years younger, never backed down. They'd come flying at you and, if knocked down, would bounce back up and do it again, laughing all the way. Steve was such a good kid. So full of life. Funny, quick, quirky, scrappy. But most of all a lovable goofball. He had a look in his eyes that conveyed determination and joy all at once. That's how I remember him. I'm sad it came down to this but so glad to have such fun memories. Thanks Stephen. Rest now kid.

Amy Carroll

September 30, 2019

Steve, you will be forever missed.

Caroline DiSanto

September 30, 2019

Stephen, I have known you for all my life just about.The times we shared with Sonny Rick and the boys.Marion and the gang.You were always the life of the room Party Adorable,Funny,Kind,and always a Gentleman.You will be sadly missed for sure! You and Sonny are together now he can tell you all the story's! You two behave up there.. Love you both.Condolences to the Carlton families ❤❤

Linda CANDELMO

September 30, 2019

I met Steve at the St Cyr housing five years ago, Right away we started talking and laughing-he was very stuborn and never asked for help. Although I only new him for a short time I will never forget him and his beautiful smile and personality. May God Bless Steve and may he always sleep with the Angels. Love and Prayers to you, Linda Candelmo-

Mark Anderson

September 30, 2019

Steve was a coworker at USPS and one of the toughest guys I ever knew. Sorry to see you go, my friend, Rest in peace.

Julie Munro

September 29, 2019

Joan and family I am truly sorry for your loss. May the days ahead be good to you. Thinking of you Joan and will be in touch soon . ❤

September 29, 2019

Cliff Knight

September 29, 2019

The first time I met Steve was reading his obituary and have to say it is the most inspiring one I have ever read. He is one person that I am sorry that I never had the pleasure to meet.

John Riley

September 29, 2019

Steve was also a good member of the American Postal
Workers Union who struck up a friendship with the National President at the time. My condolences to his family and friends.

September 29, 2019

Thank you for your service to our country. Rest In Peace.

STEPHANIE MORRIS

September 28, 2019

The first time I met Stevie was at our Ashmont Street home - one of my little brother Mark's goofy (but cute) friends who I used to tease. The last time I spent time with Stevie was well into his adulthood, for a day of downhill skiing with him and my brother Mark. I can't remember how that random day came about but am grateful for one of the most fun days I've spent on the slopes - so many laughs when those two were together! His memory will continue to inspire as his story is told and retold. Blessings to all who loved him.

September 27, 2019

Dear Joan, Michael, Mark and Peter, I am so very sorry for your loss.

Mark Morris

September 27, 2019

Good bye for now Steven. We'll meet again soon in the scheme of time. I can't wait to have you shake your head incredulously at one of my antics and say to me, You are a complete blanking moron!" To which I laugh incredibly hard. I remember lots of great, hilarious times spent with you.
What a great man you were here.
You have my greatest respect for your strength of character and gregariousness which made all meeting you feel good about themselves.
My deepest sympathy to the Carleton family.
Until we hang out again...

Laura Morris

September 27, 2019

Nothing but respect for the way Steve lives his life. He managed a heavy burden but still made you feel like your visit with him was a gift he treasured. I loved Stevie and will miss him terribly.
Laura Morris

Peter Bell

September 27, 2019

I have known Steve for the last ten years through the Scarborough Fish and Game Club. WE had shot many rounds of trap and sporting clays together. Steve showed me the ropes when we worked together maintaining the trap house electronic equipment when he was on the trap committee. I know I will miss Steve very much as will all the folks at Scarborough Fish and Game. Steve may no longer walk among us but he will always walk with us in our hearts and memories.

Showing 1 - 29 of 29 results

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Funeral services provided by:

Hobbs Funeral Home - South Portland

230 Cottage Road, South Portland, ME 04106

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