Barbara Bates Smallidge

1929 - 2025

Barbara Bates Smallidge

Concord, NH - Barbara Bates Smallidge, 96, passed away on Saturday, December 20, 2025, at the Havenwood Health Care Center. She was born on October 4, 1929, in Newburyport, MA, to G. Warren Bates and Minnie Katherine (Ellsworth) Bates. She lost her mother at the age of five, and when her father remarried, Barbara became the eldest of six children, a role that shaped her lifelong sense of responsibility, care, and devotion to family.

Barbara graduated from Medford High School in 1947 and went on to earn a degree in Medical Transcription from Mount Ida Junior College. She worked as a medical transcriptionist for many years, continuing her career well into the 1990s. In the 1970s, she also worked as a teacher's aide at the Oyster River Elementary School in Durham.

On April 18, 1953, Barbara married Ralph G. Smallidge Jr. They shared nearly 60 years of marriage until Ralph's passing in February 2013. Together, they lived in Reading, MA, until 1966, when they relocated to Durham, NH, following Ralph's appointment to an administrative position in the University of New Hampshire business office. Barbara and Ralph made Durham their home for over 40 years. In retirement, they moved to Concord, NH, and the Havenwood community in 2008.

Barbara was a gifted and dedicated musician. An accomplished violinist, she performed with the Reading Symphony Orchestra and was an enthusiastic member of many choruses and choirs. For 40 years, she sang with the Durham Community Church Choir, a place that became central to her faith and community life. She and Ralph especially cherished traveling as Barbara performed with the New Hampshire Friendship Chorus. Barbara was an active member of the Community Church and generously volunteered on numerous church and community committees wherever she lived.

In addition to her parents and her husband, Barbara was predeceased by her sister, Janet (Bates) Duffy; her brothers, David Bates, Donald Bates, and Robert Bates; her grandson, Craig Boynton Southard; and granddaughter, Amy Leigh Chadbourne.

She is survived by her daughters, Marsha Southard (Grant) of Coventry, RI, and Dianne Smallidge of Gorham, ME; her grandsons, Todd Southard (Stacey) of Bolton, MA, Brad Southard (Morgan) of Berlin, MA, and Alex Chadbourne of Gorham, ME; and her three great-grandchildren, Claire Southard, Emma Southard, and Joel Southard. She is also survived by her youngest brother, Richard Perry of Seekonk, MA, as well as many beloved nieces and nephews.

Barbara was a devoted mother, grandmother, and great-grandmother. Her warmth, generosity, and love of music and community will be deeply missed by all who knew her.

The family extends heartfelt thanks to the caregivers at Havenwood, whose kindness, compassion, and dedication helped Barbara maintain a meaningful quality of life in her later years. Their care will always be remembered with gratitude. A celebration of life will be held at Havenwood on 33 Christian Ave. in Concord, NH on Saturday, January 10th at 1PM. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to a charity of choice.