Betty Jane Whalen

Betty Jane Eleanor Boyce Whalen and Lieutenant Colonel John J. Whalen, Jr., U.S. Army (Retired) Together Again.

Betty Jane Eleanor Boyce Whalen, 91, passed away peacefully on February 5, 2026, at Hackensack Meridian Hospital in Neptune, New Jersey. Her beloved husband of 70 years, Lieutenant Colonel John J. Whalen, Jr., U.S. Army (Retired), passed away on July 28, 2025, at the age of 96.

Betty was born in Hillside, New Jersey, and raised in Allenwood. She attended Manasquan High School, where she served as captain of the cheerleading squad. In her early adult years, she was an avid golfer and bowler, achieving distinction as a Women's Bowling Champion for the state of Hawaii alongside her partner. She worked in the laboratory at Fitkin Hospital in Neptune and later at Lyn-Mar, a children's clothing store with locations in Freehold and Belmar.

Betty and John were married when she was just 20 years old and he was a young Second Lieutenant-beginning a lifelong love story rooted in devotion, resilience, and shared adventure. As a military family, they traveled extensively and were stationed, both together and apart, in Austria, Taiwan, Korea, Germany, Vietnam, Kentucky, and Hawaii.

John honorably served his country for 22 years, rising through the enlisted ranks to become an officer and retiring as a Lieutenant Colonel. Throughout his distinguished military career, he was awarded numerous honors and commendations, including the Distinguished Service Medal, the Legion of Merit, and the Purple Heart.

Betty was a devoted homemaker and mother to their four children and took great pride in her role as an Army wife, considering it both an honor and a privilege to support her husband's service and raise their family.

Betty and John were predeceased by their beloved daughter, Kelley Marie, who was born in Taiwan and passed away on August 3, 1960, at the age of three from spinal meningitis. Betty was also predeceased by her parents, Bette Elizabeth Boyce Quenzer and Richard Boyce, and her stepfather, Harold Quenzer. John was predeceased by his parents, John J. Whalen and Mary (McCauley), as well as his siblings and their spouses: Helen and Jack Porter, Jean and Peter Mantia, Nancy and Chick Wallace, Jim and Margaret Whalen, and William Whalen.

Together, they are lovingly survived by their three children: Kim A. Sullivan and partner John Dick (husband Richard, deceased 2015), John J. Whalen III and his wife Jill, and Shannon Marie Wentworth and her husband Paul; 10 grandchildren; and 16 great-grandchildren. Betty is also survived by her sister, Carol Ann Addonizio. John is survived by his sister-in-law, Julie Whalen, along with many cherished nieces and nephews.

A celebration of Betty's life will be held on April 4, 2026, from 1:00 to 3:30 p.m. at Seabrook Senior Living, 3000 Essex Road, Tinton Falls, New Jersey, in the Atrium at the Town Square building. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in their memory to St. Jude's Children's Research Hospital in Memphis, TN. www.stjude.org.

Together, Betty and John built a life defined by love, service, family, and enduring partnership. Their legacy lives on in the generations they nurtured and the many lives they touched. To send condolences to the family please go to www.orenderfamilyhome.net.