Dolores "DoDo" Bacharach

1927 - 2025

Dolores Bacharach
June 8, 1927 - May 26, 2025
Dolores Bacharach "DoDo" was born in Brooklyn on June 8, 1927. She was early and tiny. So, her uncle drove her and her father from Brooklyn to Atlantic City in an open suitcase filled with hot water bottles because there were incubators on the Boardwalk. For about a month, she was displayed on the Boardwalk, to raise money for the babies' care and to prove that incubators worked.
She met my father through a mutual friend after World War II. They married and had 5 children; raised them in Westport and sent them out into the world.
She loved reading, movies, musicals, All Creatures Great and Small, a good glass of wine, good friends, mint chocolate chip ice cream, a day at the beach, her children, her grandchildren, and her great-grandchildren.
Sounds pretty conventional, doesn't it? And maybe it was but, then again, she was called DoDo.
DoDo was Brooklyn, Irish Catholic. She went to Catholic schools and a Catholic college. The Catholic church was her home; this catholic church was her home for almost 65 years.
She led a sheltered early life, even into adulthood. I remember explaining to her why her lesson using an outline of a hand got a huge laugh. She used each finger for a principle, but said they would skip the middle finger and return to that later. Truly, she had NO idea. Later, as teenagers, we successfully taught her to curse.
At the same time, the catholic church radicalized her. She was a Dorothy Day, Catholic Worker catholic. She believed in social justice to her core. That manifested itself in welcoming children from Bridgeport to Assumption, volunteering to run Assumption School's library, working with my father and others to establish Westport's soup kitchen and homeless shelters. And she went back to school to get her social work degree at age 60.
During my father's long illness, she was not only his caregiver but his MacGyver. She figured out ways to keep him safe, comfortable, and happy. A bell on his rocker, pureeing his favorite foods, supplying him with ice cream, figuring out how to get him in and out of the pool, adding a ramp and an accessible shower to their bedroom, and so on. His neurologist said no one could have done it better.
But, what I most want to share is that she was kindness personified. Every single day, kindness drove her. She was generous with her time and treasure. And, she was generous with herself: bringing meals to housebound friends, driving people to church or doctor's appointments, taking great care of her friend and neighbor, Mary Lou. She loved laughing and sharing a joke.
There was not a moment when she didn't think of the person or people in front of her. I cannot tell you the number of times I watched her greet the person in the store, the gas station, the doctor's office, or anywhere else she went with warmth and genuine interest. She really did want to know how you were today. She really did want to make a little joke to lighten your day or inquire about a child in a photo, or offer a bottle of water.
So, while you see this legacy: 5 children, 5 spouses of those children, 13 grandchildren and their spouses and significant others, and 13 great-grandchildren, all of them model that kindness. Some of us went into social service: teachers, nurses, community bankers, homeless shelter managers, health advocates, tilters at windmills. All of us volunteer as baseball or basketball coaches, church ushers, reading tutors, Big Brothers/ Big Sisters and so on.
There is more. We all strive to match her kindness in the everyday world. And I hope we succeed more often that we don't.
And the next time you get into an elevator, or check out your groceries, or wait on a train platform or in the TSA line, ask someone how they are doing and think of my mother.
Friends are invited to attend a funeral on Saturday July 19, 2025 at 11:00 AM meeting directly at Assumption Church 98 Riverside Ave. Westport CT for a Mass of Christian Burial. Interment will be private. Condolences for the Bacharach family may be left on line at www.hardingfuneral.com