John Paul Twomey

John Paul Twomey, 74, passed away on January 22nd in San Francisco, California, after a short illness.

John was born on May 5th, 1951 in Grand Forks, North Dakota to Alan and Christine Twomey. He graduated from St. James High School where he was well liked and where he expanded his social circle to include the entire city of Grand Forks. He then continued his education at the University of North Dakota.

John was the epitome of a middle child; quiet, unassuming and void of conflict. He loved to roam his surroundings and connected with people, of all ages, with ease. As John grew older, he was encouraged by friends to visit California. After several trial runs, John realized moving to San Francisco would allow him to be who he was truly meant to be.

In 1972, John left North Dakota and ventured west to the City by the Bay, beginning what would become a 50+ year courtship with San Francisco. During his early years, he explored several employment paths before landing at Pioneer International Customhouse Brokerage, Inc. The Pioneer offices quickly became a gathering spot, where friends would meet John before heading out to the newest café, bar, or hotel he had discovered during his daily neighborhood explorations.

John took great pride in knowing the nooks and crannies of San Francisco - the hidden alleys and overlooked gems not found in guidebooks but essential to the city he loved. You were lucky indeed if you experienced John's infamous "Scooter Tour," holding on for dear life on the back of his Vespa as he buzzed from one spot to the next, narrating the entire way. His sense of adventure wasn't drawn to grand palaces, but to the ordinary, creaky, slightly dilapidated places that seemed unremarkable at first glance - until John unlocked his treasure chest of history, folklore, and insider lore. Then they came alive.

It was only natural that this love for the city evolved into his lifelong career as a respected and successful real estate agent. Guided by his mentor and close friend, Johnny "Dollar" Roach, John quickly developed his own unmistakable style. He was honest to a fault, direct, passionate about getting things right - which he most often did - and fiercely committed to caring for his clients. Over 30 years in San Francisco real estate, he built enduring relationships with clients and beloved colleagues alike. His absence in that world, both as a realtor and as a friend, will be deeply felt.

John arrived in San Francisco at the zenith of it's glow in the 1970s - the City was layered, rebellious, artistic, politically alive. It offered endless possibility for self-expression and reinvention, and John embraced it fully, in his own way.

He knew people. He remembered their names. He remembered their stories. From Dianne Feinstein, Nancy Pelosi, and Charlotte Maillard Swig to busboys, bartenders, drag queens, local cops, and the man selling flowers from his garage - John knew them. He remembered their stories and their encounters. And they, in return, knew and remembered John.

As HIV and AIDS enveloped the city in the 1980s, John stepped forward as a founding board member of Friends of Oscar, later known as the Academy of Friends. With a small clutch of friends, he helped build a grassroots organization determined to bring dignity, relief, and even moments of joy to those suffering and their families during a devastating time. It was not easy work. But it was meaningful work. John brought his salty honesty, dry wit, mischievous smile, and tireless effort to the cause. He remained on the board for more than 15 years, alongside many of the original founding members.

Across all chapters of his life, John was unmistakably himself - playful and stubborn, fragile and strong, passionate and mysterious. He had a way of being soft and fuzzy and crusty and jagged all at the same time. He loved his friends deeply - each uniquely - and he loved exploring life with them, usually on his terms. That was just the way he was. He surrounded himself with a wildly diverse circle of friends who loved him patiently and joyfully. He leaves a tangible void in the interwoven tapestry of life for his friends and colleagues in San Francisco and across the country.

John's greatest joy was his family. He cherished time with his siblings, nieces, and nephews. The weekly Zoom calls that began during COVID became sacred - never to be interrupted. His summer visits to the Lake were anticipated months in advance and reminisced about long after he returned home, always wishing he had stayed just a little longer. Big family adventures - from island-hopping in Greece to sailing through the British Virgin Islands - brought out his inner kid. His infectious love of fun made him a favorite of his great-nieces and nephews, whom he adored.

John is survived by his brothers and sister, Chris (Darla), Jamie, and Kathy (Mike), as well as his many adoring nieces and nephews. He was preceded in death by his parents, Alan and Christine, and his sister Joanne.

May we all live our remaining years as John did - on a continual quest to explore, to connect, and to live fully.

In lieu of flowers, friends wishing to honor John may consider a contribution to the AIDS MEMORIAL GROVE or the organization of your choice in John's name.

Services remembering John will be held in San Francisco in March:

Funeral Mass

10:00 a.m., Friday, March 13

St. Ignatius Catholic Church, USF Campus

Mass Livestream: https://www.youtube.com/StIgnatiusParishSF/live

"Have I Got a Story About John!"

1:00–4:00 p.m., Saturday, March 14

BAR49 - 2295 Market Street

Program and storytelling at 2:00 p.m.

All are invited to join in remembering our brother, uncle, and friend, John Twomey.