Mary Whedbee Giftos

August 26, 1947 - April 19, 2025

Charlotte, North Carolina - Mary Whedbee Giftos died peacefully on Saturday, April 19, 2025, in Charlotte, NC after a courageous battle with heart failure and dementia. She was 77.

She was born on August 26, 1947, in Denver, CO to James Simpson Whedbee and Nina Noble Whedbee. When she was a young child, her family moved to Baltimore, MD where she grew up on a farm and developed a lifelong passion for animals and gardening. She graduated from Bryn Mawr High School in 1964 and George Washington University in 1968. During her lifetime she lived in many places including Baltimore, MD; Cleveland, OH; Richmond, VA; Jacksonville, FL; Cape Elizabeth, ME and Charlotte, NC. While in Richmond, she pursued graduate studies to become a hospital chaplain and served on the frontline of the AIDS epidemic in the 1980's caring for dying patients before medical treatments were available.

Mary was known to family and friends for her determination and tenacity. She faced much personal tragedy and adversity in her life including the death of her parents in an airplane crash when she was 21, bouts of colon cancer and breast cancer, crippling arthritis, and heart failure and dementia later in life. Despite these challenges, wherever she lived, Mary persevered and dedicated herself to raising her family of five children, imparting her love of books and appreciation of music to them, filling her elegant homes with loving pets, especially her faithful black labs, and tending to her beautiful and peaceful gardens.

Mary is survived by her five children, Michael Giftos and his wife, Kelly of Charlotte, NC, Aileen Wisell of Cape Elizabeth, ME, John Giftos and his wife, Mindi of Tallahassee, FL, Nina Morris and her husband, Kieron of Cape Elizabeth, ME, and Jamie Barents and her husband, Matt of Berryville, VA; nine grandchildren, Michael and Jacqueline Giftos of Charlotte, NC; Mary Isabel Wisell of Cape Elizabeth, ME; James and Jake Giftos of Tallahassee, FL; Finn and Aidan Morris of Cape Elizabeth, ME; and Mick and Samantha Barents of Berryville, VA. She is also survived by her four brothers, James Whedbee and his wife, Susan of New York City, Dominic Whedbee of St. Joseph's Abbey in Spencer, MA, Joseph Whedbee of Baltimore, MD, and Peter Whedbee and his wife, Nadine of Arvada, CO.

Also surviving is the father of her five children, Peter Michael Giftos of Ponte Vedra Beach, FL with whom she was married from 1969 to 2010.

Her family would like to thank the staff at Waltonwood Providence Assisted Living for their patient and kind care of "Miss Mary" during her final year of life, and the Visiting Angels caregivers and Via Health Partners hospice nurses for the tender and compassionate care they provided at the end of her life.

A private graveside memorial service will be held at Evergreen Cemetery in Charlotte, NC.

Arrangements are in the care of Kenneth W. Poe Funeral & Cremation Service, 1321 Berkeley Ave., Charlotte, NC 28204; (704) 641-7606. Online condolences may be shared at www.kennethpoeservices.com.

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Published by Charlotte Observer from Apr. 21 to Apr. 27, 2025.

Memories and Condolences
for Mary Giftos

Sponsored by The Charlotte Observer.

6 Entries

Lili Tuong-Van from Danang Vietnam

April 25, 2025

Dear Mary,

Your presence in the life of my family was very precious. My stepfather, Mr. Herbert Fuller, and my mother, Mrs. Hoa Dien Truong Thi, always felt tremendous love and respect for you. My siblings, Annie Nguyenduy from San Francisco, and Tuan Nguyenduy from Orlando, FL, both have fond and lovely memories of you. And I feel honored and blessed to have known you, to have experienced your love and care over the years. Thank you.

Lili

Craig and Jennifer Cooper

April 24, 2025

I feel blessed to have known Mary. She was always so positive even through many rough times.
Kind, giving, gentile, accepting, generous and caring are just a few of the traits I think of when I remember Mary.
She was also a "wicked" good baker (to use a Maine term).
Heaven has a new angel now that Mary is gone. I will miss you my friend, thank you for all you did. Your example helped make me a better person.
My sincerest condolences to all her family. Craig

Dianne Shepley

April 24, 2025

We have been friends for over 50 years. When we visited, there were always children,dogs, horses, Joseph, flowers, music and laughter. I will miss her very much.

Deb Dean-Smith

April 24, 2025

Mary was such an inspiration for me. Her positive energy and passion for life were always evident. Her love for her horses and for her dogs was always there and so important to her. I will miss her. May Mary Rest In Peace.

Sandy Kavanaugh

April 22, 2025

My heart is so sadden to hear of Mary's passing. She made many beautiful impressions on me. I distinctly remember not long after I met Mary, I visited her beautiful home in Switzerland, Florida. Upon entering the kitchen were 5 black and white photos of each of her children on their pony hung on the backsplash wall; it was such a sweet way to capture children in their youth. Throughout her home were many "treasures" of family mementos. Mary had a fierce love of family. Her horses and dogs were also loved. To my surprise one day, Mary told me that "dogs need a job!" I will never forget her telling me that and I tried to think of jobs for my "house" dogs, I failed in finding a good job for them. I loved receiving Mary's beautiful Christmas cards each year. Even though I could hardly read her message, I had no doubt, it was a good one! Mary taught my daughter about horses; caring for them, riding techniques and just the simple joy of the horsemanship. It was a time in our lives that will never be forgotten. I had a few conversations with her when she was living in Maine. She talked about having lobster for dinner on the back porch and the bunk beds she had made with drawers beneath each bed. I think she came up with the idea of drawers. She was so excited to tell me about her grand idea. Once Mary left Maine, I was able to keep up with her health and well being through a mutual friend. Memories of Mary will always be kept safe in my heart. I am thankful for her friendship and to witness such a beautiful person. Sandy Kavanaugh

Edie Kavanaugh Arthur

April 21, 2025

I can´t imagine growing up without the Giftos family, most especially Mary and Jamie. Numerous summer trips, horse shows, pony club, I practically lived at the Giftos house every weekend for what seems like years. What a gift and such a tremendous blessing to share our love of horses, adventure and a freedom I wish I could give my kids today. I´ll never forget their beautiful farm and will always cherish the years I got to spend there. Love and prayers to the Giftos family. I love you James and will miss you Mary!

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