Mrs. Rupa Ekram (Benji / Mummy / JeeJee / Naani)

Obituary for Mrs. Rupa Ekram (Benji / Mummy / JeeJee / Naani)

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Inna Lillahi Wa Inna Ilayhi Raji’un

“Indeed, to Allah we belong, and to Him we shall return.”

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Bhagavad Gita 2:20 

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“The soul is never born, nor does it ever die.

 It has not come into being, nor will it ever cease to be. 

Unborn, eternal, everlasting, and primeval,

 the soul is not destroyed when the body is destroyed.”

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“The heart and soul of our family — Dr. Khan’s beloved Rupa, our cherished Benji, Mummy, Maa, JeeJee, and Naani — who fed us with love, taught us with wisdom, and bound us with her spirit. She was not only the light of our home, but also a mother to all who knew her. Her laughter, her kitchen, her blessings, and her light will live forever in our hearts.”

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A Life of Grace and Devotion

Rupa Ekram, affectionately known as Benji, Mummy, Naani and JeeJee to all who adore her, passed into eternal peace on Friday, September 12, 2025, at the age of 87 years, in Kettering, Ohio. Born on December 17, 1937, in Srinagar, Kashmir, she lived a remarkable life filled with love, grace, resilience, and devotion to family.

Raised in the historic neighborhood of Habbakadal, surrounded by the flowing Jhelum River and the snowy peaks of the Himalayas, Rupa grew up in the embrace of a large joint family. She often recalled the fragrance of saffron fields in autumn, the warmth of kahwa and sheer chai shared in her joint-family home, and the joy of temple bells and azaan echoing side by side in her beloved Srinagar.

Her happiest memories were always with her beloved aadi (grandmother), parents, uncles, aunts, siblings, cousins, nephews, and nieces. She often said her heart beat in rhythm with theirs. The golden years of festivals, weddings, and long family evenings filled with stories and music gave her a spirit grounded in joy, resilience, and belonging — a spirit she carried with her through every chapter of her life.

Amidst a time when opportunities for women were scarce, Rupa stood tall with courage and determination. She pursued higher education and a professional career with an unshakable will, defying social barriers, and showing that grace and ambition could coexist. It was this foundation — family, faith, and resilience — that became her lifelong compass.

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A Pioneer in Education

A trailblazer for her generation, Rupa was among the rare women of her time to earn a Master’s degree and begin her career as a university lecturer. She later dedicated 31 years to shaping young minds as a Biology post-graduate teacher in New Delhi, eventually rising to Vice Principal and later Principal.

At the Senior Secondary Girls Government Schools in Delhi, where she devoted most of her career, she was remembered not only as a teacher, but as a builder of confidence and character. To colleagues, she was a trusted friend and wise counselor. To her students, she was a mentor who believed fiercely in their potential. She would often remind them: “Discipline is not punishment — it is love for your future self.”

Her classrooms were more than places of study — they were sanctuaries of encouragement and self-belief. Many of her students went on to become doctors, lawyers, engineers, scientists, and leaders. Decades later, they would still write to her, telling her she had been the one who first believed in them. For countless young women, she was proof that education could transform not only a career, but a life.

In an era when women were seldom seen in leadership, Rupa stood as a beacon — dignified, uncompromising in integrity, and deeply compassionate. She shaped not just a school, but generations of young women, leaving a legacy of knowledge and values that endures far beyond the classroom walls.

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A Loving Wife and Mother

During her graduate studies, Rupa met the love of her life, Dr. Ekramullah Khan. Together, they built not just a marriage, but a lifelong partnership rooted in faith, resilience, and harmony. Their union was one of quiet strength — she stood beside him through every joy, every trial, and every season of life, with unwavering loyalty and grace.

Rupa’s love was not measured in grand gestures, but in the steady, unbroken rhythm of her daily devotion. She gave of herself 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year — as wife, mother, counselor, caregiver, and anchor of her household. To Dr. Khan, she was the heart of his life and his truest companion. To her children, she was a sanctuary of unconditional love.

She raised her two children, Gerrie Kakar (married to Pawan) and Ekbal Khan (married to Jennifer), with sacrifice and selflessness, teaching them not only values of education and faith but also how to live with dignity, resilience, and compassion. Her children remember her not simply as a mother, but as a guardian angel on earth — the one who stayed awake when they were unwell, who encouraged them when they doubted themselves, and who never once placed her own comfort above their needs.

Rupa’s motherhood extended beyond her immediate family. She was the matriarchal thread that united the Khan and Raina families, bridging generations, healing rifts, and remembering every birthday, festival, and milestone. Her home was more than a residence; it was a haven of warmth, where laughter and blessings flowed as freely as the meals she lovingly prepared.

She lived her life in unconditional service — not out of duty, but out of love. For her, sacrifice was not a burden; it was her greatest joy. In every small act — from the meals she cooked to the prayers she whispered for her family’s well-being — she poured her entire soul. Hers was the kind of motherhood and wifehood that defined what it means to give without expecting, to love without limits, and to live with her heart entirely for others.

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A Matriarch Beyond Measure

From the very beginning of her marriage, Rupa embraced her husband’s large family as though it were her own. To Dr. Khan’s brothers and sisters, she was never merely a sister-in-law — she became a mother, a vocal guardian who offered guidance, comfort, and love at every turn. To her own siblings, cousins, nieces, and nephews, she was equally a motherly figure, embodying devotion, patience, and selflessness.

She carried within her the teachings of her beloved Bablaal (father) and Aadi (grandmother) — that the sacred duty of family is not only to love in joy, but to stand steadfast in hardship. She lived this duty every single day. Whenever disagreements arose, she was the gentle voice that calmed hearts. Whenever distance grew, she was the thread that stitched families back together.

Rupa had a way of remembering every occasion — birthdays, anniversaries, festivals — and marking them with phone calls, letters, or a lovingly prepared dish. Her presence was never loud, but always steady, like the quiet flame of a lamp that lights the entire room. Family members often said: “She was the one who never let us drift apart.”

She believed that family was both a gift and a responsibility. She would often remind her loved ones: “Blood is not enough to keep us together — love and forgiveness are what make us family.” And she lived by those words. With her unwavering commitment, she wove bonds that spanned generations and continents, leaving behind a family that remains united because of her hands, her heart, and her prayers.

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Her Kitchen, Her Language of Love

For Rupa, food was never just food — it was her purest expression of love, blessing, and teaching. Her kitchen was the soul of her home, a sanctuary where recipes became prayers, and every meal carried the weight of her devotion. To be fed by her was to be cared for, nourished, and embraced.

Her Kashmiri cooking was legendary. The aroma of Rogan Josh simmering gently, the delicate flavors of Haak (collard greens), the fragrance of saffron-laced Kahwa, the warmth of Nadru (lotus stem curry), the mutton yakhni (yellow meat cooked with saunf and yogurt), the spicy dummaalu (kashmir mirch aaloo with spices), the tenderness of Gushtaba (meatballs in yogurt sauce) — these were not just dishes, but love letters to her heritage. Anyone who tasted her food carried those flavors in their memory forever.

But she was not limited to Kashmiri cuisine. She mastered countless dishes from Indian, Mughlai, Continental, and even Western kitchens, always eager to learn, to perfect, and to serve. Her biryani, her paneer curries, her fresh rotis, her kheer, halwa, and sevian — each prepared with patience and heart — became the talk of gatherings. Children, relatives, neighbors, friends, colleagues, even guests visiting for the first time — all left her table feeling not just full, but deeply loved.

Rupa had a unique way of feeding people. She would never sit until everyone else had been served. She would stand over her family and guests with gentle insistence: “Just one more helping — eat a little more.” And somehow, no one could ever say no. To eat in her presence was to feel seen, cared for, and blessed. Many recall licking their fingers, smiling through every bite, and leaving with hearts lighter and warmer.

Her cooking was her language of teaching. Through food, she taught generosity, patience, and joy. Through meals, she reminded her children and grandchildren that hospitality was sacred, and that serving others is one of life’s highest honors. Even into her final days, she delighted in cooking for her family — often saying that watching others enjoy her food was her greatest happiness.

For all who knew her, the memory of Rupa is inseparable from the taste of her food and the love with which she served it. Her kitchen was not merely a place of sustenance; it was a celebration of compassion, joy, and togetherness. In every spoonful, she gave away pieces of her heart — and in every soul she fed, her love lives on eternally.

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 A Grandmother’s Endless Love

If being a wife and mother defined Rupa’s strength, being a grandmother — her beloved role as JeeJee, Daadi, Naani, and Badi Ammi — defined her joy. Her grandchildren were the treasures of her life: Dr. Aelius Ali Khan (fiancée Menuka Prajapati), Zarina Ekbal Khan (and her beloved dog Sapphire), Zamir Ekbal Khan, and Aaliya Kakar.

To them, she was not just a grandmother but a constant blessing, a guiding light, and their greatest cheerleader. She told them stories of Kashmir — of snowy winters, saffron fields, and family festivals — so they would always know their roots. She cooked their favorite meals with the same care she once gave their parents, often tailoring each dish to their tastes, never letting anyone leave her table hungry. For her grandchildren, food was love, but it was also learning — each recipe was a memory, each kitchen moment a lesson.

Her love for them had no boundaries. She attended every milestone, every celebration, and every quiet moment with the same devotion. She whispered prayers for them daily, often saying: “May your life be filled with health, happiness, and light — more than mine ever was.” Her hugs carried warmth no words could equal, and her encouragement gave them courage to dream bigger, to walk taller, and to live with compassion.

But her grandmotherhood was never limited to her own grandchildren. To the children of her extended family — nieces, nephews, cousins — she was a grandmother too. Many recall running into her arms, being fed sweets or meals she had prepared, and listening to her kind words. She had the rare gift of making every child feel like they were her own.

Her grandchildren carry her spirit forward not only in memory but in practice she lives in them — in the food they cook, in the stories they tell, and in the love they give. For them, her absence leaves an unfillable space, yet her presence remains eternal in their hearts. To be her grandchild was to be deeply blessed — to have known unconditional love in its purest form.

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Her Legacy of Joy and Blessings

The outpouring of love after Rupa’s passing is overwhelming — from every corner of the world, family, friends, students, and neighbors remember her as vibrant, affectionate, and resilient. Many say her passing is not just the loss of a person, but “the end of an era.”

To those who know her, Rupa was more than a presence in their lives — she was joy itself. Her laughter rang through every gathering, her stories stitched generations together, her music and singing lit up evenings, and her cooking brought warmth to homes far beyond her own. She had the rare gift of turning ordinary moments into celebrations, and every stranger into family.

Her guiding words remain etched in the hearts of all who love her: 

“Be happy, keep smiling, and keep your heart light.” 

She believed that love was not only a gift but a duty — a way of honoring life itself. And she gave that unconditional love freely, never holding back her smile, her blessing, or her kindness.

Her reach extended across the world. Relatives in the US, Canada, Europe, India, and her heartland, Kashmir, friends in Delhi, neighbors in Ohio, students across the globe — all carried stories of how she touched their lives. Some remember her meals, others her words of encouragement, others the quiet comfort of her presence. But all remember the same truth; Rupa left everyone she met feeling lighter, brighter, and deeply loved.

Her legacy is not measured only in the generations she raised, but in the countless souls she uplifted. She taught that happiness is sacred, that family is everything, and that love and forgiveness are the bonds that outlast time itself. In her joy, she gave the world its greatest blessing: the reminder that a life lived with laughter, love, and resilience is the truest success.

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Eternal Peace

Rupa is preceded in death by her beloved parents, Aftab and Dhanwati Raina, and many cherished siblings, relatives, and friends. In leaving this world, she has been reunited with them in eternal peace, embraced once again by the love that first shaped her.

Her life was a magnificent love story — the journey of a Kashmiri girl rooted in family joy, who became a pioneering scholar and teacher, a devoted wife and mother, a matriarch who united generations, and a woman whose kitchen became a sanctuary of love and blessing. From Srinagar to Delhi to Ohio, her footprints trace a path of devotion, compassion, and light.

We pray that Allah (SWT) forgives her shortcomings, envelops her in His infinite mercy, and grants her the highest station in Paradise — Jannat-ul-Firdaus We also honor her beloved homeland with the timeless words, Om Shanti Om — may her soul be blessed with everlasting peace, light, and liberation.

In the gentle words of Kashmir: 

" " (Khuda sati wuni ravan karam) — May God bestow eternal peace upon her soul.

With humbled hearts, her family, relatives, and friends ask her forgiveness for anything done knowingly or unknowingly; we pray she grants it, as she always did in life — with love, compassion, and grace.

Her spirit is eternal. She is our angel in Heaven, still blessing us, still guiding us, still reminding us that love does not end with death. Her voice may be silent, but her blessings echo forever in our hearts. Until we meet again, her light will guide our way.

Insha’Allah, as the Qur’an assures us, we will be reunited on the Day of Resurrection — “On that Day you will be brought out nothing but what you used to do.” (Qur’an 36:12) — when nothing remains hidden, and every soul returns to its Maker.

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